# I am sick of slut shaming through school dress codes **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 11, 2014, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-sick-of-slut-shaming-through-school-dress-codes/685834 "2014-04-11T00:34:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-sick-of-slut-shaming-through-school-dress-codes/685834/1 "2014-04-11T00:34:12Z")
I have to say that social networking for teenage girls is a double edge sword, but some of it is awesome - my fourteen year old daughter has had her feminist awakening - and she is not alone. > **[Why I'm Taking A Stand Against My School's 'Dress Code'](https://www.huffpost.com/entry/taking-stand-against-school-dress-code_b_4610307)** > > You are literally sending the message to young girls, who are already struggling with self confidence, that hiding their body makes them more attractive. You are establishing a sense of shame in these young, developing minds and bodies. > **[Talking With a 13-Year-Old Leggings Activist](https://slate.com/human-interest/2014/04/middle-school-leggings-protest-13-year-old-activist-sophie-hasty-talks-about-restrictive-school-dress-codes.html)** > > Last month, middle-school girls in Evanston, Ill., rebelled against their school dress code by showing up to class wearing leggings en mass.... The logic in these cases, that a young woman’s dress is “distracting” is the same logic that excuses rape because of how a woman was dressed. We’ve codified it, and are teaching it to our middle and high school boys. “She can’t dress like that because you misbehave” - putting the responsibility for the boy’s behavior on the girls leggings, tank top, or short skirt. It does no favors to our young women - and give no credit to our young men - most of who have far more self control than that (and the ones that don’t, it really is HIS problem, not hers). I’m a fan of high tea, proper dress at funerals and weddings, no hats inside for men and a lack of tattoos. Hell, I don’t think you should wear white after Labor Day and bemoan the loss of hats and gloves. I find the way teens dress to be abhorrent - sagging pants, offensive t-shirts (I have a much bigger issue with young men than young girls who wear club wear). But more abhorrent is a dress code that restricts HER freedom of expression because she is a sexual object. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-sick-of-slut-shaming-through-school-dress-codes/685834/2 "2014-04-11T01:06:11Z")
Are there no girl’s fashions that are inappropriate for high school? ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-sick-of-slut-shaming-through-school-dress-codes/685834/3 "2014-04-11T01:17:54Z")
> [@Fear\_Itself](#): > > Are there no girl’s fashions that are inappropriate for high school? I think the word “inappropriate” is what pisses me off. Being an old fashioned girl, I’d like to go back to no jeans or athletic shoes in high school - but if you aren’t going to stick students in uniforms, then I’m not sure there is. Because my definition of inappropriate and yours are going to be very different. And if by inappropriate you mean objectifying and sexualizing a woman - then I have a problem. ---
**Author:** ![Pedro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/919ad9/32.png) [@Pedro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pedro)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-sick-of-slut-shaming-through-school-dress-codes/685834/4 "2014-04-11T01:17:58Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > The logic in these cases, that a young woman’s dress is “distracting” is the same logic that excuses rape because of how a woman was dressed. We’ve codified it, and are teaching it to our middle and high school boys. “She can’t dress like that because you misbehave” - putting the responsibility for the boy’s behavior on the girls leggings, tank top, or short skirt. You need to be more specific. What’s misbehaving? Innapropriate touching? Completely unacceptable. Staring? Saying “nice legs”? Tough break, that’s a normal part of living in society, deal with it somehow. “Boys will be boys” is wrong. Dress codes aren’t. And your logic leap to rape is shrill. ---
**Author:** ![Ibn\_Warraq](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e19b73/32.png) [@Ibn\_Warraq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ibn_Warraq)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-sick-of-slut-shaming-through-school-dress-codes/685834/5 "2014-04-11T01:24:13Z")
Dangerosa, serious question. Do you also object to dress codes forbidding girls from wearing bikinis because they would be “distracting”? I ask because based on your logic you should. Anyway, unless the school allows boys to wear leggings which show off the outline and size of their genitals then I don’t see the sexism. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-sick-of-slut-shaming-through-school-dress-codes/685834/6 "2014-04-11T01:36:09Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > And if by inappropriate you mean objectifying and sexualizing a woman - then I have a problem. What do you mean by “sexualizing”? ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-sick-of-slut-shaming-through-school-dress-codes/685834/7 "2014-04-11T01:41:08Z")
> [@Ibn\_Warraq](#): > > Dangerosa, serious question. > > Do you also object to dress codes forbidding girls from wearing bikinis because they would be “distracting”? > > I ask because based on your logic you should. > > Anyway, unless the school allows boys to wear leggings which show off the outline and size of their genitals then I don’t see the sexism. Leggings on boys are not against any dress code I’ve seen. I would be against a dress code that forbid bikinis because its distracting, yes. Someone elses’ dress being distracting is not a good reason - you need to have the self control to keep how someone else dresses from being distracting. ESPECIALLY given that the middle school my daughter goes to has issues keeping discipline in the classroom. Kids talking over the teacher is “distracting” - kids on IEPs who are allowed to wander the room is “distracting.” We aren’t sending them home. But how a girl dresses isn’t distracting in the same way - someone walking by your desk while you try and finish your math is distracting regardless of gender to most people - its distracting because we’ve made her a sexual object. We aren’t worried about the other girls in the class being distracted - we are specifically worried about the boys. And we aren’t worried about the boys dress being distracting to girls - where we control boys dress, we do it because “hats are impolite indoors.” ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-sick-of-slut-shaming-through-school-dress-codes/685834/8 "2014-04-11T01:42:52Z")
> [@Fear\_Itself](#): > > What do you mean by “sexualizing”? What are the boys distracted by when we ban tank tops, midriffs, or leggings? The concern that has been expressed is that boobies and butts make teenage boys brains leak out of their heads. But to me, that seems to be a problem for the teenage boys, not the girls. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-sick-of-slut-shaming-through-school-dress-codes/685834/9 "2014-04-11T01:46:35Z")
So no leggings for boys and no hats for girls. We ok now? ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-sick-of-slut-shaming-through-school-dress-codes/685834/10 "2014-04-11T01:47:14Z")
> [@Pedro](#): > > You need to be more specific. What’s misbehaving? Innapropriate touching? Completely unacceptable. Staring? Saying “nice legs”? Tough break, that’s a normal part of living in society, deal with it somehow. > > “Boys will be boys” is wrong. Dress codes aren’t. And your logic leap to rape is shrill. I don’t think staring or saying nice legs is misbehaving at all. Creepy maybe. But not an offense the school needs to worry about AND I think that if you are a sixteen year old girl wearing a short skirt and are offended because you get male attention from the short skirt, you need to grow up or change the way you dress. Just like if you get a tattoo or your eyebrow pierced, you shouldn’t be surprised when little old ladies stare at you in McDonalds. But male attention does not include uninvited touch or verbal threats or implied threats - that’s over the line. ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-sick-of-slut-shaming-through-school-dress-codes/685834/11 "2014-04-11T01:48:53Z")
> [@Ibn\_Warraq](#): > > Anyway, unless the school allows boys to wear leggings which show off the outline and size of their genitals then I don’t see the sexism. Breasts, for the record, are not genitals. Just sayin’. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-sick-of-slut-shaming-through-school-dress-codes/685834/12 "2014-04-11T01:51:42Z")
> [@andros](#): > > Breasts, for the record, are not genitals. Just sayin’. If leggings show off the outline and size of a girls breasts then I totally don’t know what leggings are. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-sick-of-slut-shaming-through-school-dress-codes/685834/13 "2014-04-11T01:54:36Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > If leggings show off the outline and size of a girls breasts then I totally don’t know what leggings are. Probably not until way later than high school. ---
**Author:** ![Pedro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/919ad9/32.png) [@Pedro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pedro)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-sick-of-slut-shaming-through-school-dress-codes/685834/14 "2014-04-11T02:04:07Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > I don’t think staring or saying nice legs is misbehaving at all. Creepy maybe. But not an offense the school needs to worry about AND I think that if you are a sixteen year old girl wearing a short skirt and are offended because you get male attention from the short skirt, you need to grow up or change the way you dress. Just like if you get a tattoo or your eyebrow pierced, you shouldn’t be surprised when little old ladies stare at you in McDonalds. But male attention does not include uninvited touch or verbal threats or implied threats - that’s over the line. Right, we agree then. There’s the issue of “slut shaming” and then there’s the issue of excusing innappropriate behavior because “boys”. They’re not the same. Regarding the first, there’s got to be a line drawn somewhere. Some choices are going to draw wanted or unwanted attention. I’d like to go to work in my pajamas, but then I’d be mocked mercilessly, so I choose not to. ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-sick-of-slut-shaming-through-school-dress-codes/685834/15 "2014-04-11T02:15:43Z")
> [@Ludovic](#): > > Probably not until way later than high school. Waaaaaay later. Please don’t let’s continue this. I have had…experiences…that I care not to remember. :eek: Nah, just saying that “tight top” or “low neckline” or even “short skirt” are not in any way equivalent to “leggings that advertise the religion of the wearer.” I mean, we’re not actually talking about camel toe here, right? ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-sick-of-slut-shaming-through-school-dress-codes/685834/16 "2014-04-11T02:17:01Z")
I don’t understand why leggings under a skirt would be offensive. Of course, when I started Jr High, micro mini skirts were popular. I think administrators would measure from the tips of a suspected offender’s fingertips to the hem to determine if they were too short. I dunno the specifics, I was a guy and didn’t have to worry about it; I just learned that really short skirts looked good on some girls and not that wonderful on others. ---
**Author:** ![sisu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@sisu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sisu)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-sick-of-slut-shaming-through-school-dress-codes/685834/17 "2014-04-11T02:20:24Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > I think the word “inappropriate” is what pisses me off. Being an old fashioned girl, I’d like to go back to no jeans or athletic shoes in high school - but if you aren’t going to stick students in uniforms, then I’m not sure there is. Because my definition of inappropriate and yours are going to be very different. And if by inappropriate you mean objectifying and sexualizing a woman - then I have a problem. In a perfect world we wouldn’t have this conversation but alas this is not a perfect world. I would like my daughters to wear they want (well who I am kidding they do anyway) but there will always be boys and men who objectify women and girls. Teenage boys are going through some serious hormone adjustments so education is critical for them and not outright condemnation, grown men on the other hand need to grow up and be a man not a horny teenage boy in long pants! ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-sick-of-slut-shaming-through-school-dress-codes/685834/18 "2014-04-11T02:23:02Z")
> [@Pedro](#): > > Right, we agree then. There’s the issue of “slut shaming” and then there’s the issue of excusing innappropriate behavior because “boys”. They’re not the same. > > Regarding the first, there’s got to be a line drawn somewhere. Some choices are going to draw wanted or unwanted attention. I’d like to go to work in my pajamas, but then I’d be mocked mercilessly, so I choose not to. Bingo, you’d be mocked mercilessly. Its the communities job to enforce community norms - and the community norms for fifteen year old girls tend to (currently) include leggings and tank tops. Five years ago, they included bare midriffs. Fifty years ago, miniskirts. I don’t think its the school administrations job to enforce those standards. Maybe the parents don’t let their daughter out of the house looking like that, but if the parents don’t have an issue with it, I don’t think the school administration should. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-sick-of-slut-shaming-through-school-dress-codes/685834/19 "2014-04-11T02:27:16Z")
> [@sisu](#): > > In a perfect world we wouldn’t have this conversation but alas this is not a perfect world. I would like my daughters to wear they want (well who I am kidding they do anyway) but there will always be boys and men who objectify women and girls. > > Teenage boys are going through some serious hormone adjustments so education is critical for them and not outright condemnation, grown men on the other hand need to grow up and be a man not a horny teenage boy in long pants! And as a parent, I respect your right to control your daughter’s dress. And I respect your right to teach her that if she dresses like a slut, don’t be surprised when she gets treated like a slut. I won’t let my daughter out of the house in just leggings and a tank top, either - and we’ve had the same conversation. I just don’t think its the schools place - and I certainly don’t think the administration should let the boys learn that “she was dressed like a slut” is an excuse to treat a woman with anything other than respect. ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-sick-of-slut-shaming-through-school-dress-codes/685834/20 "2014-04-11T02:28:03Z")
> [@Ranger\_Jeff](#): > > I don’t understand why leggings under a skirt would be offensive. Of course, when I started Jr High, micro mini skirts were popular. I think administrators would measure from the tips of a suspected offender’s fingertips to the hem to determine if they were too short. I dunno the specifics, I was a guy and didn’t have to worry about it; I just learned that really short skirts looked good on some girls and not that wonderful on others. Judging by the article, it doesn’t sound like they’re being worn under a skirt, but rather as pants. After all, the girl being interviewed is bitching about being made to wear gym shorts for the rest of the day when a teacher notices the leggings. If they were already wearing a skirt, the shorts would a) make no sense and b) not be visible and therefore not draw taunting from the boys. Our school system handled it this way: Nobody, of any gender, could wear any sort of bottom that was shorter than the tip of your longest finger when holding your arms at your side. Shorts, skorts, skirts, kilts, whatever, it had to be at least fingertip length. This was, of course, back in the good old days when guys wore actual shorts instead of very baggy capri pants. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-sick-of-slut-shaming-through-school-dress-codes/685834.md?page=2)