# I am sick of slut shaming through school dress codes **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 11, 2014, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-sick-of-slut-shaming-through-school-dress-codes/685834 "2014-04-11T00:34:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![LavenderBlue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e95f7d/32.png) [@LavenderBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LavenderBlue)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-sick-of-slut-shaming-through-school-dress-codes/685834/21 "2014-04-11T02:32:16Z")
One more reason I am dreading my eleven year old’s soon to be junior high school days. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-sick-of-slut-shaming-through-school-dress-codes/685834/22 "2014-04-11T02:39:30Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > I have to say that social networking for teenage girls is a double edge sword, but some of it is awesome - my fourteen year old daughter has had her feminist awakening - and she is not alone. > > [Why I'm Taking a Stand Against My School's 'Dress Code' | HuffPost Teen](http://www.huffingtonpost.com/marion-mayer/taking-stand-against-school-dress-code_b_4610307.html) > > [Middle school leggings protest: 13-year-old activist Sophie Hasty talks about restrictive school dress codes.](http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2014/04/01/middle_school_leggings_protest_13_year_old_activist_sophie_hasty_talks_about.html) > > The logic in these cases, that a young woman’s dress is “distracting” is the same logic that excuses rape because of how a woman was dressed. We’ve codified it, and are teaching it to our middle and high school boys. “She can’t dress like that because you misbehave” - putting the responsibility for the boy’s behavior on the girls leggings, tank top, or short skirt. It does no favors to our young women - and give no credit to our young men - most of who have far more self control than that (and the ones that don’t, it really is HIS problem, not hers). > > I’m a fan of high tea, proper dress at funerals and weddings, no hats inside for men and a lack of tattoos. Hell, I don’t think you should wear white after Labor Day and bemoan the loss of hats and gloves. I find the way teens dress to be abhorrent - sagging pants, offensive t-shirts (I have a much bigger issue with young men than young girls who wear club wear). But more abhorrent is a dress code that restricts HER freedom of expression because she is a sexual object. [“And dressing my baby sister up as some sort of cheap faux-punk whore for your own sick amusement? That’s just low, Nale, even for you!” “…”]([342 Dangling the Bait - Giant in the Playground Games](http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0342.html)) ---
**Author:** ![marshmallow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@marshmallow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/marshmallow)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-sick-of-slut-shaming-through-school-dress-codes/685834/23 "2014-04-11T02:40:14Z")
There’s a middle ground between dressing like a street walker and wrapping yourself in a burqa and everyone’s line is somewhere different. But for dress code rants and debates _in general_ I tend to find the following ideas humorous, some are on display in the OP: Implying that showing off your body is feminist. That such male pleasing behavior is empowerment. That barely clothed women aren’t distracting to men. That barely dressed men could be as distracting to women in the same manner. When you’re arguing that women should be able to dress suggestively you’re basically arguing for free entertainment for men. Why female self expression involves showing more skin more often than not is a stone best left unturned, but hey, no complaints! I don’t know if I should be thanking evolution or Western culture first. As for the linked article, pretty good. Plenty of fair points. I’d agree that citing non-existent bad male behavior as a reason to punish women is serious BS. But there’s no doubt it was written by a high school girl. > [@](#): > > Being a boy refers to your gender. That’s all. > > It does not make you constantly sexually aroused, animalistic or sexually uncontrollable, but for some reason society has come to the conclusion that you are this stereotype. Yeah, some reason. Huehuehue. ---
**Author:** ![Ibn\_Warraq](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e19b73/32.png) [@Ibn\_Warraq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ibn_Warraq)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-sick-of-slut-shaming-through-school-dress-codes/685834/24 "2014-04-11T02:42:25Z")
> [@andros](#): > > Breasts, for the record, are not genitals. Just sayin’. I was referring to leggings which leave little to the imagination on either gender. Also, I will agree that if Dangerosa is correct that the boys at the school are allowed to wear tank tops and leggings but the girls aren’t then yes, that is sexist. I’ve never heard of any public school that has such a policy, are there any? ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-sick-of-slut-shaming-through-school-dress-codes/685834/25 "2014-04-11T02:50:32Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > I would be against a dress code that forbid bikinis because its distracting, yes. But if bikinis were banned for another reason, you might be OK with it? ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-sick-of-slut-shaming-through-school-dress-codes/685834/26 "2014-04-11T02:50:50Z")
Showing off your body is human - not feminist or not-feminist. Good looking people tend to be rewarded for being good looking, and so exhibit behaviors to get that reward. Dressing for yourself is empowerment. Check out a tattoo thread sometime. Barely clothed women are probably distracting to men - but it really shouldn’t be the problem of the barely clothed women. And you bet…there was this computer technician at work years ago - the women used to pull their network connection out to get him to crawl under their desk…when he left, the problem tickets for network connectivity dropped by 40%. (I used to do statistical analysis on help desk tickets - how do you explain that one to the boss…“John has such a nice ass that women pull their LAN cables hoping he’ll be assigned the ticket and come crawl under their desk and if we move John onto not visiting desktops and doing just the remote work, we will get fewer calls.” ) ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-sick-of-slut-shaming-through-school-dress-codes/685834/27 "2014-04-11T02:52:50Z")
> [@Fear\_Itself](#): > > But if bikinis were banned for another reason, you might be OK with it? Yep. Come up with a reason other than “distracting” or the insipid “inappropriate.” Not sure I’d go for “offensive” either since that opens up putting girls in headscarves in areas with large Muslim populations. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-sick-of-slut-shaming-through-school-dress-codes/685834/28 "2014-04-11T03:01:22Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > [Why I'm Taking a Stand Against My School's 'Dress Code' | HuffPost Teen](http://www.huffingtonpost.com/marion-mayer/taking-stand-against-school-dress-code_b_4610307.html) > > [Middle school leggings protest: 13-year-old activist Sophie Hasty talks about restrictive school dress codes.](http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2014/04/01/middle_school_leggings_protest_13_year_old_activist_sophie_hasty_talks_about.html) > > The logic in these cases, that a young woman’s dress is “distracting” is the same logic that excuses rape because of how a woman was dressed. We’ve codified it, and are teaching it to our middle and high school boys. “She can’t dress like that because you misbehave” - putting the responsibility for the boy’s behavior on the girls leggings, tank top, or short skirt. It does no favors to our young women - and give no credit to our young men - most of who have far more self control than that (and the ones that don’t, it really is HIS problem, not hers). I see a disconnect between the first sentence of your paragraph, and the rest of it and the first linked article, from which I quote: > [@](#): > > The new principal at my school used two phrases while addressing new dress code rules to a class: “Modest is hottest” and “boys will be boys.” > > He should have said something more along the lines of: “The school dress code was established to provide our students with a safe and orderly learning environment that is free from distractions.” I think, and if I’m interpreting correctly the writer of this article thinks, that there’s a significant difference between having a dress code for the purpose of reducing distractions and having a dress code for the purpose of reducing sexual harassment. From my own experience as a teenage boy, I can assure you that the way a girl is dressed can most definitely be a distraction. Not enough of one to make my brain go completely numb; and not enough to make me think a strict dress code is a necessary for an atmosphere conducive to learning, but enough to at least make me sympathetic to the idea that there is educational value in placing limits to how revealingly girls may be dressed at school. But never would it have occurred to me to say or do anything about it. I never would have thought that how a girl was dressed would have excused any inappropriate behavior on my part. ---
**Author:** ![Pedro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/919ad9/32.png) [@Pedro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pedro)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-sick-of-slut-shaming-through-school-dress-codes/685834/29 "2014-04-11T03:08:29Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > Bingo, you’d be mocked mercilessly. Its the communities job to enforce community norms - and the community norms for fifteen year old girls tend to (currently) include leggings and tank tops. Five years ago, they included bare midriffs. Fifty years ago, miniskirts. I don’t think its the school administrations job to enforce those standards. Maybe the parents don’t let their daughter out of the house looking like that, but if the parents don’t have an issue with it, I don’t think the school administration should. A business setting or a school setting is the same in this regard. My employer would be more than justified in calling me and saying “you’re being ridiculous and unprofessional and it’s distracting, please change or find a new job”. A dress code is just sound policy and easier to enforce in a school environment. Maybe that line isn’t exactly where every single student and parent thinks it should be, or most even, but I don’t read teaching slut shaming to our young boys there. I agree with you that the school administrators in the links you provided handled this matter really poorly by setting the dress code for girls in fear of poor impulse control by boys, apparently, instead of: > [@](#): > > The school dress code was established to provide our students with a safe and orderly learning environment that is free from distractions. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-sick-of-slut-shaming-through-school-dress-codes/685834/30 "2014-04-11T03:13:07Z")
> [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > I see a disconnect between the first sentence of your paragraph, and the rest of it and the first linked article, from which I quote:I think, and if I’m interpreting correctly the writer of this article thinks, that there’s a significant difference between having a dress code for the purpose of reducing distractions and having a dress code for the purpose of reducing sexual harassment. > > From my own experience as a teenage boy, I can assure you that the way a girl is dressed can most definitely be a distraction. Not enough of one to make my brain go completely numb; and not enough to make me think a strict dress code is a necessary for an atmosphere conducive to learning, but enough to at least make me sympathetic to the idea that there is educational value in placing limits to how revealingly girls may be dressed at school. > > But never would it have occurred to me to say or do anything about it. I never would have thought that how a girl was dressed would have excused any inappropriate behavior on my part. I’m a 47 year old straight (primarily) woman - and frankly, some of those 15 year old girls would be distracting to ME in a burlap sack. I can’t imagine what its like for my own fifteen year old son to walk around in that hormone haze. But they are distracting in a burlap sack - its really not what they wear at that age, its who they are. At the risk of sounding like a creepy pedophile… Or as one of my friends teenage sons put it during a conversation on this “duh, mom, they are girls. If they are cute, it really doesn’t matter what they are WEARING, they are distracting.” ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-sick-of-slut-shaming-through-school-dress-codes/685834/31 "2014-04-11T03:18:19Z")
> [@Pedro](#): > > A business setting or a school setting is the same in this regard. My employer would be more than justified in calling me and saying “you’re being ridiculous and unprofessional and it’s distracting, please change or find a new job”. > > A dress code is just sound policy and easier to enforce in a school environment. Maybe that line isn’t exactly where every single student and parent thinks it should be, or most even, but I don’t read teaching slut shaming to our young boys there. > > I agree with you that the school administrators in the links you provided handled this matter really poorly by setting the dress code for girls in fear of poor impulse control by boys, apparently, instead of: 'No, it isn’t. Your employer doesn’t have to employ you. A public school is legally required to provide education. I’m not a fan of school uniforms - but I’d much rather have school uniforms than these sorts of dress codes. School uniforms can be policed more consistently and the burden falls equally on both genders. ---
**Author:** ![njtt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecd19e/32.png) [@njtt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/njtt)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-sick-of-slut-shaming-through-school-dress-codes/685834/32 "2014-04-11T03:18:19Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > What are the boys distracted by when we ban tank tops, midriffs, or leggings? The concern that has been expressed is that boobies and butts make teenage boys brains leak out of their heads. But to me, that seems to be a problem for the teenage boys, not the girls. So you want surgery done on teenage boys brains, because, believe me, boobies and butts do have powerful effects on teenage boys’ brains, and brain surgery or chemical castration are about the only things that will prevent that happening. Also, dress codes are not slut shaming. Indeed, one of their functions is prevent the arising of situations that could lead to slut shaming. If boys had any tendency to come to school in clothes that prominently displayed the shape of their junk, or with large codpieces, for instance, I an sure a dress code wold quickly be put in place for them. ---
**Author:** ![marshmallow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@marshmallow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/marshmallow)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-sick-of-slut-shaming-through-school-dress-codes/685834/33 "2014-04-11T03:18:52Z")
Simple solution: school uniforms. Alternatively, dress codes teach kids a valuable lesson: that those in authority can set arbitrary standards using byzantine logic. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-sick-of-slut-shaming-through-school-dress-codes/685834/34 "2014-04-11T03:20:14Z")
> [@njtt](#): > > So you want surgery done on teenage boys brains, because, believe me, boobies and butts do have powerful effects on teenage boys’ brains, and brain surgery or chemical castration are about the only things that will prevent that happening. > > Also, dress codes are not slut shaming. Indeed, one of their functions is prevent the arising ofsituations that could lead to slut shaming. No, I want boys to have to be responsible for their own actions and reactions, independent of the behavior of the girls around them. I’ve been assured in conversations with several teenage boys that it is possible to exhibit self control and actually learn, even when an attractive girl in a short skirt sits next to you in chemistry. ---
**Author:** ![Pedro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/919ad9/32.png) [@Pedro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pedro)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-sick-of-slut-shaming-through-school-dress-codes/685834/35 "2014-04-11T03:36:41Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > 'No, it isn’t. Your employer doesn’t have to employ you. A public school is legally required to provide education. > > I’m not a fan of school uniforms - but I’d much rather have school uniforms than these sorts of dress codes. School uniforms can be policed more consistently and the burden falls equally on both genders. Agree with the last sentence. A dress code is always gonna fall more heavily on girls. Maybe that’s abhorrent to you but in the real world that’s just how it is. It’s an issue that can’t escape gender. ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-sick-of-slut-shaming-through-school-dress-codes/685834/36 "2014-04-11T03:50:49Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > We aren’t worried about the other girls in the class being distracted - we are specifically worried about the boys. And we aren’t worried about the boys dress being distracting to girls - where we control boys dress, we do it because “hats are impolite indoors.” My high school’s dress code was. Men were specifically forbidden from wearing “muscle shirts” and the length of men’s shorts was regulated (and the regulation was much longer than that of the women). Men also couldn’t wear anything form fitting that distinctly showed the shape of their genitals. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-sick-of-slut-shaming-through-school-dress-codes/685834/37 "2014-04-11T03:53:15Z")
> [@Pedro](#): > > Agree with the last sentence. A dress code is always gonna fall more heavily on girls. Maybe that’s abhorrent to you but in the real world that’s just how it is. It’s an issue that can’t escape gender. Well, you can escape it by not having a dress code. Then enforcing respectful behavior rather than presentation. But if you are going to have a dress code, do uniforms rather than trying to walk some line between leggings, jeggings, super tight skinny jeans with spandex, yoga pants, jammie bottoms and plain old narrow cut jeans. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-sick-of-slut-shaming-through-school-dress-codes/685834/38 "2014-04-11T03:57:29Z")
> [@Jragon](#): > > My high school’s dress code was. Men were specifically forbidden from wearing “muscle shirts” and the length of men’s shorts was regulated (and the regulation was much longer than that of the women). Men also couldn’t wear anything form fitting that distinctly showed the shape of their genitals. My son is forbidden from wearing hats in school (I’m old school, I don’t think hats should be worn indoors at all), and not “sagging” - but the sagging was never enforced. I wish it was, but as long as the boys kept their t-shirts over their underwear, it was fine. I’m not sure when you went to high school, but currently pants that would show the shape of your genitals are SO out in favor of pants that are falling off. And shorts are basketball shorts down to, or past, the knee. They aren’t supposed to wear tank tops - but that isn’t what teenage boys currently wear anyway around here. ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-sick-of-slut-shaming-through-school-dress-codes/685834/39 "2014-04-11T03:59:43Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > My son is forbidden from wearing hats in school (I’m old school, I don’t think hats should be worn indoors at all), and not “sagging” - but the sagging was never enforced. I wish it was, but as long as the boys kept their t-shirts over their underwear, it was fine. I’m not sure when you went to high school, but currently pants that would show the shape of your genitals are SO out in favor of pants that are falling off. And shorts are basketball shorts down to, or past, the knee. They aren’t supposed to wear tank tops - but that isn’t what teenage boys currently wear anyway around here. Sagging was forbidden and very strictly enforced. No chains either. We also couldn’t wear outfits primarily composed of a single color unless it was school colors because it promoted “gang behavior.” ---
**Author:** ![njtt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecd19e/32.png) [@njtt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/njtt)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-sick-of-slut-shaming-through-school-dress-codes/685834/40 "2014-04-11T04:15:27Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > No, I want boys to have to be responsible for their own actions and reactions, independent of the behavior of the girls around them. I’ve been assured in conversations with several teenage boys that it is possible to exhibit self control and actually learn, even when an attractive girl in a short skirt sits next to you in chemistry. Why is all the responsibility to be placed on the shoulders of the boys here? Why is it that girls absolutely have a need to reveal lots and lots of skin at school? I must say I have grown heartily sick of all this feminist entitlement, where a woman’s every whim must be accommodated at whatever cost to any males that are affected by it. Always it is “The males must take responsibility, the females’ freedom to do whatever they wish, including deliberate sexual teasing, is sacrosanct and must not be infringed in any way.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-sick-of-slut-shaming-through-school-dress-codes/685834.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-sick-of-slut-shaming-through-school-dress-codes/685834.md?page=3)