# I am sick of slut shaming through school dress codes **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 11, 2014, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-sick-of-slut-shaming-through-school-dress-codes/685834 "2014-04-11T00:34:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![OurLordPeace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e8c25b/32.png) [@OurLordPeace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OurLordPeace)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2014, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-sick-of-slut-shaming-through-school-dress-codes/685834/121 "2014-04-12T03:07:40Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > Ageist?!?! Really? Again, we’re talking about teenagers. > > Actually I do think they act the way they do because of the way they are treated by adults. Deeming them barely human, on account of their age alone, is ageist. Some are very grown-up, others are frankly pathetic. I was some of both, which I think is pretty common. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2014, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-sick-of-slut-shaming-through-school-dress-codes/685834/122 "2014-04-12T03:16:35Z")
> [@OurLordPeace](#): > > Deeming them barely human, on account of their age alone, is ageist. Some are very grown-up, others are frankly pathetic. I was some of both, which I think is pretty common. You’ve missed the context of this thread. I called them barely human based on their behavior, not on their age alone. ---
**Author:** ![OurLordPeace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e8c25b/32.png) [@OurLordPeace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OurLordPeace)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2014, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-sick-of-slut-shaming-through-school-dress-codes/685834/123 "2014-04-12T03:22:56Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > You’ve missed the context of this thread. I called them barely human based on their behavior, not on their age alone. Maybe so; I jumped in without having read the whole thread. ---
**Author:** ![Damuri\_Ajashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/898d66/32.png) [@Damuri\_Ajashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Damuri_Ajashi)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2014, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-sick-of-slut-shaming-through-school-dress-codes/685834/124 "2014-04-12T03:51:16Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > Believe it or not, women do not focus every thing they do around men. Women choose what they wear for many reasons, and in my experience (having been a woman for several decades), “attracting attention from random men” is rarely something we give consideration to. We may want to attract a specific man. We may be trying to impress our female peers. We may be following our own sense of fashion or we may be just trying to stay comfortable. But yeah, there are lots of reasons to wear skimpy clothes that don’t revolve around you. Its really easy for girls that are easy on the eyes to claim they don’t do things to attract attention from boys. They don’t have to. But a lot of less secure girls deliberately try to attract attention from boys. BTW, doesn’t the Op engage in a similar form of slut-shaming by saying she would tell her daughter not to wear a bikini to school? Why exert any pressure unless you think wearing a bikini makes her a slut? ---
**Author:** ![Ibn\_Warraq](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e19b73/32.png) [@Ibn\_Warraq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ibn_Warraq)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2014, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-sick-of-slut-shaming-through-school-dress-codes/685834/125 "2014-04-12T03:58:17Z")
> [@Pedro](#): > > Oh so now you are going to call me a liar too because you misconstrued my meaning over your biases? You’re a fun guy! > > FYI, catcalling is not harassment. It’s an hilarious ego booster that without fail leads to very satisfying intercourse. > > Staring, on the other hand, is not funny at all. It’s just hypnotic to women and leaves them in a state of wild sexual arousal. Wow, you’re an asshole. It’s also embarrassingly obvious that you’re a virgin and in your case correlation does equal causation. ---
**Author:** ![scratch\_llll](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9fc348/32.png) [@scratch\_llll](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scratch_llll)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2014, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-sick-of-slut-shaming-through-school-dress-codes/685834/126 "2014-04-12T04:32:45Z")
This could all be settled by combining school with ballet where wearing leggings makes sense. Perhaps they could do those twirly things and stand on tiptoe at the blackboard and everyone could pretend they don’t see the huge bulging package on that one guy. ---
**Author:** ![Pedro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/919ad9/32.png) [@Pedro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pedro)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2014, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-sick-of-slut-shaming-through-school-dress-codes/685834/127 "2014-04-12T04:37:13Z")
> [@Ibn\_Warraq](#): > > Wow, you’re an asshole. It’s also embarrassingly obvious that you’re a virgin and in your case correlation does equal causation. How did you…? What!? WHYYY??? Congratulations. Asshole I can deal with but you have now exposed the painful truth and caused me great shame. I will bow down my head and slink away with my manliness besmirched. Maybe now I will also be able to finally find some inner peace. ---
**Author:** ![scratch\_llll](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9fc348/32.png) [@scratch\_llll](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scratch_llll)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2014, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-sick-of-slut-shaming-through-school-dress-codes/685834/128 "2014-04-12T04:45:04Z")
> [@Pedro](#): > > Maybe now I will also be able to finally find some inner peace. If only you had found some outer piece without in any way signaling that you were responding to visual cues. The shame. ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2014, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-sick-of-slut-shaming-through-school-dress-codes/685834/129 "2014-04-12T04:53:57Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > My daughters dress code is that shoulders must be covered. Shoulders…wtf? But only girls, boys can wear muscle shirts. Yeah, that’s bullshit. Dress codes in general aren’t bullshit; we had a perfectly reasonable one that applied equally to both sexes, although there were in all honesty some parts that affected girls more than guys, like the rule against bare midriffs. Basically, all bottoms had to be fingertip length, all tops had to have at least nominal sleeves, no bare midriffs or peekaboo styling or holes/rips that exposed your crotch, butt, or boobs.\* I guess on the one hand, we were allowed to wear leggings, but on the other hand, it would never have occurred to us to wear them with a top that didn’t cover our ass so I don’t know that it’s really a comparable situation. \*Okay, there was that one guy in high school who used to wear some cutoffs that _had_ to be shorter than allowed, but he went on to become an underwear model, so we were more hoping that they’d shrink and/or develop holes rather than raging against uneven enforcement of the dress code. ---
**Author:** ![Crazyhorse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crazyhorse/32/31_2.png) [@Crazyhorse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crazyhorse)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2014, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-sick-of-slut-shaming-through-school-dress-codes/685834/130 "2014-04-12T06:14:23Z")
Sexual distraction to the point of cognitive impairment in males, especially adolescent males, is not just some misogynistic plot to slut shame women and excuse boys for bad behavior. It is a very real and well studied phenomenon. When given sexual cues prior to or during a cognition test, a male will perform poorly compared to his tests taken without sexual cues. Males not given sexual cues will perform consistently throughout, and females perform consistently throughout with or without sexual cues. Thoughts of sex literally short circuit other cognitive functions in males and that doesn’t happen to females. Out on the playing field of life I agree this is not a female’s problem nor is it something she should need to change their behavior or dress to prevent, but in a classroom full of kids it is perfectly reasonable - and backed by science - to accept that as being the reality and enforce rules that try to ensure everyone gets an equal chance to learn. If it was a scientific fact that the color blue caused 50% of the students to go mushy-brained and get distracted and agitated and unable to concentrate, no matter how ridiculous it may seem to others who aren’t affected, the school would be justified in banning blue clothes if scientific evidence suggested that it was a real phenomenon for those who suffered from it. ---
**Author:** ![Ibn\_Warraq](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e19b73/32.png) [@Ibn\_Warraq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ibn_Warraq)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2014, 7:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-sick-of-slut-shaming-through-school-dress-codes/685834/131 "2014-04-12T07:34:21Z")
> [@Pedro](#): > > How did you…? What!? WHYYY??? > > Congratulations. Asshole I can deal with but you have now exposed the painful truth and caused me great shame. I will bow down my head and slink away with my manliness besmirched. Maybe now I will also be able to finally find some inner peace. Is English not your first language? Not a taunt, a genuine question. ---
**Author:** ![Pedro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/919ad9/32.png) [@Pedro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pedro)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2014, 8:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-sick-of-slut-shaming-through-school-dress-codes/685834/132 "2014-04-12T08:23:43Z")
> [@Ibn\_Warraq](#): > > Is English not your first language? > > Not a taunt, a genuine question. Why, did my command of the english language fail me? I’ll keep this real short and to the point. That dumbass **MrDibble** doesn’t get to grill me and call me a liar and then throw a shit fit when I josh about it and expect me to take him seriously. And you can take you stupid little insult and shove that too. At least you’ve graduated past the word “troll”, and I applaud you for that. Back to your scheduled thread because **Dangerosa** actually had a point hidden in there, was far more reasonable about it than I expected for a (hardcore?) feminist and I enjoyed that little exchange. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2014, 8:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-sick-of-slut-shaming-through-school-dress-codes/685834/133 "2014-04-12T08:35:45Z")
> [@Pedro](#): > > I’ll keep this real short and to the point. That dumbass **MrDibble** doesn’t get to grill me and call me a liar Only, I _did_ get to do that - your (pathetically attempted humorous) replies didn’t magically erase my posts, you know. > [@](#): > > was far more reasonable about it than I expected for a (hardcore?) feminist and again you show your real motivation. Look, I get from your post alone that you have an issue with feminists. You do realise that makes _you_ the idiot, not them, right? ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Why\_Bother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e19adc/32.png) [@Doctor\_Why\_Bother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Why_Bother)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2014, 9:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-sick-of-slut-shaming-through-school-dress-codes/685834/134 "2014-04-12T09:05:25Z")
> [@OurLordPeace](#): > > I know you’re joking, but that’s ageist and not funny. I used to teach the little shits. Barely human doesn’t even _begin_ to cover it. ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2014, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-sick-of-slut-shaming-through-school-dress-codes/685834/135 "2014-04-12T12:51:29Z")
> [@jimbuff314](#): > > But that reminds me what I was going to ask. Do leggings = tights? 'Cause the leggings I remember > are from the '80s when ladies would wear these tube things at the bottom of their legs (to keep warm or something). > If we’re talking about schoolchildren going to school dressed only in those and a top, > I’m afraid I’m going to have to agree that a dress code _might_ be warranted. You’re thinking of [leg warmers](http://store.americanapparel.net/long-leg-warmer_rsalwl). Leggings are essentially footless tights that are of slightly thicker material than tights. [Forever 21](http://www.forever21.com/Mobile/Product/Category.aspx?br=mobile&category=bottom_leggings), a store popular among teenage girls, shows them with non-ass-covering shirts on their website. I’ve always thought of them as a base layer, not pants. But I am far from 21! ---
**Author:** ![Ibanez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a4c791/32.png) [@Ibanez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ibanez)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2014, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-sick-of-slut-shaming-through-school-dress-codes/685834/136 "2014-04-12T13:52:39Z")
[Yoga pants are not a civil right](http://www.usatoday.com/story/opinion/2014/04/01/yoga-pants-evanston-kirsten-powers-rape-culture-column/7177111/) _" An Evanston parent reported that the principal told her the school was merely “trying to figure out a way to tamp down the sexualization of middle-school girls.” Isn’t that a goal feminists support?"_ Feminists have to make up their minds as to what they want. Banning revealing clothing does not/not encourage _rape culture_. Dress codes are a part of life. It’s becoming very tiring how this subject always ends up invariably an attack on men. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2014, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-sick-of-slut-shaming-through-school-dress-codes/685834/137 "2014-04-12T14:18:36Z")
> [@Damuri\_Ajashi](#): > > Its really easy for girls that are easy on the eyes to claim they don’t do things to attract attention from boys. They don’t have to. But a lot of less secure girls deliberately try to attract attention from boys. Again, while from you perspective it may seem like women’s actions are all basically centered around catering to you- I promise you, they are not. “How much I turn on men I don’t know” is typically pretty low on people’s minds when they get dressed in the morning. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2014, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-sick-of-slut-shaming-through-school-dress-codes/685834/138 "2014-04-12T17:02:15Z")
> [@Crazyhorse](#): > > Out on the playing field of life I agree this is not a female’s problem nor is it something she should need to change their behavior or dress to prevent, but in a classroom full of kids it is perfectly reasonable - and backed by science - to accept that as being the reality and enforce rules that try to ensure everyone gets an equal chance to learn. > > If it was a scientific fact that the color blue caused 50% of the students to go mushy-brained and get distracted and agitated and unable to concentrate, no matter how ridiculous it may seem to others who aren’t affected, the school would be justified in banning blue clothes if scientific evidence suggested that it was a real phenomenon for those who suffered from it. But blue is not a person. What, scientifically, is a sexual cue and how far must girls hide themselves before they aren’t giving one? Is the girl’s existence giving one? I think that dress codes can be helpful, and I don’t really think either sex needs to be particularly exposed at school. But saying that boys are distracted by girls so girls need to change is not reasonable. I am distracted by the internet; does the internet need to change, or do I? ---
**Author:** ![Damuri\_Ajashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/898d66/32.png) [@Damuri\_Ajashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Damuri_Ajashi)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2014, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-sick-of-slut-shaming-through-school-dress-codes/685834/139 "2014-04-12T17:12:30Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > Again, while from you perspective it may seem like women’s actions are all basically centered around catering to you- I promise you, they are not. “How much I turn on men I don’t know” is typically pretty low on people’s minds when they get dressed in the morning. I’m trying not to think from my perspective. I didn’t want to get specific but, IIRC, you are (I think, based on comments by other posters back when some SDMB lawyer from chicago was hitting on SDMB women) a relatively attractive young woman, so you might never have felt the need to try and attract male attention. But a lot of girls don’t have that in JHS and for whatever reason, are trying to get boys to notice them. I haven’t thought all the women around me have been trying to catch my attention for at least 15 years. ---
**Author:** ![Crazyhorse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crazyhorse/32/31_2.png) [@Crazyhorse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crazyhorse)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2014, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-sick-of-slut-shaming-through-school-dress-codes/685834/140 "2014-04-12T18:52:23Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > But blue is not a person. What, scientifically, is a sexual cue and how far must girls hide themselves before they aren’t giving one? Is the girl’s existence giving one? In some cases it is photographs of females with little or no clothes. In others it is the mere mention that they will be meeting an unknown female after the test is complete - just telling a male student that after his cognitive test he will be meeting a person who has a female sounding name causes his scores to fall. In the opposite scenario females are unaffected by such cues. So in a sense yes the mere existence of the girl is a sexual cue to the male, however a reasonable approach to limiting how revealing clothing can be in a classroom will give the guys at least a fighting chance to concentrate on their studies. There needs to be a frame switch in this question. It isn’t “what do girls need to do in order to make life easier for guys?” it is “what can a school do in order to make an effort to keep students minds on their work?” and in the case of dress codes there is something of a double standard because males and females aren’t the same in terms of what constitutes sexual distraction to the point of cognitive impairment. > [@jsgoddess](#): > > But saying that boys are distracted by girls so girls need to change is not reasonable. I am distracted by the internet; does the internet need to change, or do I? You may not think it is reasonable but it is the fact of the matter. I think schools would be wise to face reality and not try to insist on some idealistic view of what should be, or could be, or would be more fair. Neither you or the internet need to change, but I would support a rule that in class you aren’t allowed to surf the web. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-sick-of-slut-shaming-through-school-dress-codes/685834.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-sick-of-slut-shaming-through-school-dress-codes/685834.md?page=8)