# I am so feckin' sick of The DaVinci Code! (lame)
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-feckin-sick-of-the-davinci-code-lame/296586
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [March 28, 2005, 8:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-feckin-sick-of-the-davinci-code-lame/296586 "2005-03-28T08:14:32Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)
#### Post date: [March 28, 2005, 8:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-feckin-sick-of-the-davinci-code-lame/296586/1 "2005-03-28T08:14:32Z")
I don’t usually believe in the concept of Satan, but Dan Brown selling 50 gazillion copies of a book that reads like something John Grisham would write during a bad acid trip in the Vatican almost makes me reconsider- Brown not only sold his soul to get this success but had a damned good broker. The book itself is lame- I’ve seen more subtle exposition in thrice translated entertainment unit assembly instructions, the characters are about as fleshed out as Karen Carpenter during Lent and anybody who isn’t familiar with the “Jesus and Mary Magdalene had theyselfs a baby” lore apparently hasn’t read much beyond the _Left Behind_ series by way of Christian mysticicsm and history- the book is in a word, crap. But what’s really pissing me off is the fucking industry that is revolving around this piece of ordure:
—The History Channel seems to have forgotten their primary mission (i.e. to recycle public domain Holocaust and Nazi rally footage into yet more forgettable schlockumentaries [_The Dental Work of the Third Reich: Part VII- Hermann Göring’s Bicuspids_) in their zeal to make one documentary per page for the damned thing
—PBS is reairing everything they’ve ever done on da Vinci and even introducing them with how they relate to the _Code_
—at book megastores there are literally entire _sections_ devoted to this book (\*Da Vinci Code, Illustrated Da Vinci Code, World of Da Vinci Code, Scratch n’ Sniff Da Vinci Code, \*etc.) and the dozens of related books both pro and anti
—even Wal-Mart has several related books and videos
and people are reading this stuff who I would wager gonads to pesos have never even heard of Umberto Eco and wouldn’t go anywhere near really inspired historical fiction (Neal Stephenson’s _Quicksilver_ for example) or even far more interesting re-writes of Jesus (Kazantzakis or even Robert Graves’s _King Jesus_). What in hell is the appeal of this book and why won’t it just die? And mroe importantly, how can I cash in? (_The DiCaprio Code_ perhaps, or _The Michelangelo Message_- does the Sistine Chapel ceiling really reveal that every Pope since Gregory the Great is actually a direct descendant of a time travelling nun named Verna and a half-space alien clone of the Apostle Peter… it’s all in Adam’s navel).
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### Author:  [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)
#### Post date: [March 28, 2005, 8:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-feckin-sick-of-the-davinci-code-lame/296586/2 "2005-03-28T08:19:12Z")
That’s just what the Freemasons want you to think.
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### Author:  [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)
#### Post date: [March 28, 2005, 8:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-feckin-sick-of-the-davinci-code-lame/296586/3 "2005-03-28T08:19:37Z")
Eh, even Eco annoys the piss out of me. Gimme the Illuminatus! triology any day.
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### Author:  [@Queen\_Bruin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Bruin)
#### Post date: [March 28, 2005, 8:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-feckin-sick-of-the-davinci-code-lame/296586/4 "2005-03-28T08:30:53Z")
I hear ya. I’m sick of the DaVinci Code crap and all the other crap they’ve been showing on the ‘geeky’ channels.
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### Author:  [@brownie55](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brownie55)
#### Post date: [March 28, 2005, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-feckin-sick-of-the-davinci-code-lame/296586/5 "2005-03-28T12:49:25Z")
I just think you are sorry you didn’t pen the gravy-trainwreck your own self. I know I am.
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### Author:  [@tnetennba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tnetennba)
#### Post date: [March 28, 2005, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-feckin-sick-of-the-davinci-code-lame/296586/6 "2005-03-28T13:25:38Z")
I want to write a book called “The _The Da Vince Code_ Code” in which it is revealed that anagramming various sentences in the book indicate that Dan Brown is actually paid off by Prilosec to make the bile rise in our esophogi.
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### Author:  [@MrO](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrO)
#### Post date: [March 28, 2005, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-feckin-sick-of-the-davinci-code-lame/296586/7 "2005-03-28T13:26:58Z")
Haven’t read the book (though I’d probably spring for a copy of _Scratch ‘n’ Sniff Da Vinci Code_), but I very much enjoyed the rant. “I’ve seen more subtle exposition in thrice translated entertainment unit assembly instructions”–I’ll be stealing that, sufficiently paraphrased, of course, to avoid law suits.
“Gravy-trainwreck” was also good.
I have read Eco. He annoyed me too.
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### Author:  [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)
#### Post date: [March 28, 2005, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-feckin-sick-of-the-davinci-code-lame/296586/8 "2005-03-28T13:36:58Z")
> [@Sampiro](#):
>
> the characters are about as fleshed out as Karen Carpenter during Lent
I just love it when somebody uses a phrase from the “The Big Secret Book of Bitchy Queer Phrases.” I just _know_ that’s where that line came from.
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### Author:  [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)
#### Post date: [March 28, 2005, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-feckin-sick-of-the-davinci-code-lame/296586/9 "2005-03-28T13:50:41Z")
> [@MrO](#):
>
> I have read Eco. He annoyed me too.
Well, if you think guys who can write are annoying, feat your eyes on a novel by somebody who _can’t_. And that somebody is Dan Brown.
IF YOU READ ONLY ONE BOOK THIS YEAR…
The Da Vinci Code doesn’t count. Awful, awful book. Bad in small ways, bad in big ways. Trite plot, stupid details, cliches up the wazoo.
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### Author:  [@the\_Lady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_Lady)
#### Post date: [March 28, 2005, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-feckin-sick-of-the-davinci-code-lame/296586/10 "2005-03-28T13:51:41Z")
Easter dinner at my mother’s was eaten in front of the tv so we could watch “The real DaVinci code” To my extreme delight, the presenter wandered around the world finding and explaining all the ways the book was completely fiction.
Amusing, that.
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### Author:  [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)
#### Post date: [March 28, 2005, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-feckin-sick-of-the-davinci-code-lame/296586/11 "2005-03-28T14:05:20Z")
I am currently reading a biography of da Vinci I just got from the History Book Club, and it does not mention the da Vinci code at all!
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### Author:  [@tnetennba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tnetennba)
#### Post date: [March 28, 2005, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-feckin-sick-of-the-davinci-code-lame/296586/12 "2005-03-28T14:06:04Z")
> [@This Year's Model](#):
>
> I am currently reading a biography of da Vinci I just got from the History Book Club, and it does not mention the da Vinci code at all!
Does it talk about how incidental “V” shapes in his paintings prove that Jesus got laid?
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### Author:  [@JeffB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JeffB)
#### Post date: [March 28, 2005, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-feckin-sick-of-the-davinci-code-lame/296586/13 "2005-03-28T14:20:03Z")
One more thing to add to your list, **Sampiro** : Da Vinci Code Tourism!
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### Author:  [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)
#### Post date: [March 28, 2005, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-feckin-sick-of-the-davinci-code-lame/296586/14 "2005-03-28T14:27:10Z")
Great rant!
It however makes me worry. I read _Holy Blood, Holy Grail_ 25 years or so ago. Does this mean that some novelist is going to pick up _Chariots of the Gods_ or _The Spaceships of Ezekiel_ sometime down the road and turn it into a bestselling novel that provokes this sort of insanity? Or, God forbid, _The Sirius Mystery_!? (I’m doggone afraid of what they might turn that one into!)
But hey, you could always publish a scholarly tome about the secret symbolism in Donatello’s work!
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### Author:  [@MrO](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrO)
#### Post date: [March 28, 2005, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-feckin-sick-of-the-davinci-code-lame/296586/15 "2005-03-28T14:28:34Z")
> [@Marley23](#):
>
> Well, if you think guys who can write are annoying, feat your eyes on a novel by somebody who _can’t_. And that somebody is Dan Brown.
Oh, I’ll admit that Eco can write, and even if I was annoyed sometimes, I enjoyed his stuff. He requires a little more effort to read than I enjoy putting forth, I guess–I discovered him when I was in grad school, slogging through the likes of Hegel and Heidegger, and I wanted my “for fun” reading to be a little less challenging. I had become a bit of a lazy reader by the time I came across Eco. Also, I was deeply into Michel Foucault when I read _Foucault’s Pendulum_, and was disappointed to discover that it referred to a different Foucault!
Still, lazy reader though I may be, I rarely read anything as best-selling as _The Da Vinci Code_. If I read it, it will be so that I know what my teenaged students are talking about when they boast of having read it.
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### Author:  [@Lissla\_Lissar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissla_Lissar)
#### Post date: [March 28, 2005, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-feckin-sick-of-the-davinci-code-lame/296586/16 "2005-03-28T15:00:27Z")
Grrr, grrr, grrr, grrr! I **HATE** _The Da Vinci Code_. Thank you, **Sampiro**. _Holy Blood, Holy Grail_ has been enjoying a resurgence in popularity, too. We keep selling out of it at work. Bleh.
Terrible writing, terrible characters, a painfully thin plot, bad research, and it’s inspiring thousands of tinfoil-hatters. Yesterday, someone leaving the bookstore where I work said very loudly, 'Yeah, you should really read _The Da Vinci Code_. It’s pissing off the Catholic Church because they don’t want anyone to know that Jesus was married.".
:rolleyes:
Grrr.
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### Author:  [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)
#### Post date: [March 28, 2005, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-feckin-sick-of-the-davinci-code-lame/296586/17 "2005-03-28T15:50:52Z")
> [@MrO](#):
>
> Oh, I’ll admit that Eco can write, and even if I was annoyed sometimes, I enjoyed his stuff. He requires a little more effort to read than I enjoy putting forth, I guess
That’s fair. I’m not criticizing you for not liking it. I’m just saying at least the man can write, and Dan Brown can’t. He doesn’t ask you to put for any effort, though, I’ll give you that. 😉
> [@](#):
>
> If I read it, it will be so that I know what my teenaged students are talking about when they boast of having read it.
Prepare to lower your opinion of your students.
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### Author:  [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)
#### Post date: [March 28, 2005, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-feckin-sick-of-the-davinci-code-lame/296586/18 "2005-03-28T15:57:17Z")
Dan Brown’s publishers obviously have a slogan: “If you read only one book this decade…then you’re our target demographic.”
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### Author:  [@Fuji\_Kitakyusho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fuji_Kitakyusho)
#### Post date: [March 28, 2005, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-feckin-sick-of-the-davinci-code-lame/296586/19 "2005-03-28T16:26:35Z")
I found \* The DaVinci Code \* mildly entertaining, but mediocre. On the other hand, \* Deception Point \*, also by Brown, kept me interested enough to read it cover to cover without a break.
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### Author:  [@stpauler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stpauler)
#### Post date: [March 28, 2005, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-feckin-sick-of-the-davinci-code-lame/296586/20 "2005-03-28T16:43:18Z")
> [@FinnAgain](#):
>
> Eh, even Eco annoys the piss out of me. Gimme the Illuminatus! triology any day.
Right on, that book rocked!
(Notice the five words above).
😃
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