# I Am \*So\* Going To Get My Ass Flamed For This. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 27, 2000, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-going-to-get-my-ass-flamed-for-this/23727 "2000-06-27T15:32:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2000, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-going-to-get-my-ass-flamed-for-this/23727/41 "2000-06-28T06:34:08Z")
Happy Birthday to John “I-guess-I-have-no-one-that-really cared-enough-to-remember-my-birthday-so-I-guess-I’ll-have-to-call-attention-to-it-myself” Corrado P.S. If you were a cute female, I probably would have researched your birthday and would have opened this thread for you. One I opened about a month ago is still floating around the first page or two of MPSIMS (although I have no idea why) ---
**Author:** ![TroubleAgain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@TroubleAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroubleAgain)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2000, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-going-to-get-my-ass-flamed-for-this/23727/42 "2000-06-28T06:40:57Z")
She whispers quietly to herself (again)–“I’m a cute female…why didn’t he research my birthday and open a thread for me today?” > [@](#): > > \*\* > P.S. If you were a cute female, I probably would have researched your birthday and would have opened this thread for you. > \*\* ---
**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2000, 7:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-going-to-get-my-ass-flamed-for-this/23727/43 "2000-06-28T07:00:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > She whispers quietly to herself (again)–“I’m a cute female…why didn’t he research my birthday and open a thread for me today?” > > > [@](#): > > > > \*\* > > P.S. If you were a cute female, I probably would have researched your birthday and would have opened this thread for you. > > \*\* > > \*\* Because you haven’t flirted with me. Or voted for me on the SDMB laminated list. Or…well, I don’t know. (Digging feverishly for excuses) Re cuteness: I’m tempted to ask for the ocular proof, but instead I’ll ask–which birthday is it? Are ya legal? I need to know this before we get into the spanking ritual–they did tell you about the spanking ritual didn’t they? It’s a requirement when I open up a birthday thread. TroubleAgain, Happy Birthday! But you need to let us know before 1141 PST when you live on the east coast. (Or is your birthday today on the 28th?) ---
**Author:** ![TroubleAgain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@TroubleAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroubleAgain)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2000, 7:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-going-to-get-my-ass-flamed-for-this/23727/44 "2000-06-28T07:10:22Z")
> [@](#): > > Because you haven’t flirted with me. > > Or voted for me on the SDMB laminated list. Or…well, I don’t know. (Digging feverishly for excuses) > > Re cuteness: I’m tempted to ask for the ocular proof, but instead I’ll ask–which birthday is it? Are ya legal? I need to know this before we get into the spanking ritual–they did tell you about the spanking ritual didn’t they? It’s a requirement when I open up a birthday thread. > > TroubleAgain, Happy Birthday! But you need to let us know before 1141 PST when you live on the east coast. (Or is your birthday today on the 28th?) > > \*\* DRY–I did mention my birthday a few days ago in a round-about way (Bratman007’s post about his niece being due on 6/27–my birthday) but I didn’t really expect anyone to remember. Just kinda kidding around here. And yes, I’m legal, have been for a while (34 today). Haven’t chosen my laminated list–still trying to decide. You might just make it… 😃 Oh, yeah, and I definitely want my spanking. ---
**Author:** ![\_dpr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/_/b9e5f3/32.png) [@\_dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/_dpr)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2000, 7:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-going-to-get-my-ass-flamed-for-this/23727/45 "2000-06-28T07:19:12Z")
John, you are such a :wally ---
**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2000, 7:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-going-to-get-my-ass-flamed-for-this/23727/46 "2000-06-28T07:19:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > Because you haven’t flirted with me. > > > > Or voted for me on the SDMB laminated list. Or…well, I don’t know. (Digging feverishly for excuses) > > > > Re cuteness: I’m tempted to ask for the ocular proof, but instead I’ll ask–which birthday is it? Are ya legal? I need to know this before we get into the spanking ritual–they did tell you about the spanking ritual didn’t they? It’s a requirement when I open up a birthday thread. > > > > TroubleAgain, Happy Birthday! But you need to let us know before 1141 PST when you live on the east coast. (Or is your birthday today on the 28th?) > > > > \*\* > > DRY–I did mention my birthday a few days ago in a round-about way (Bratman007’s post about his niece being due on 6/27–my birthday) but I didn’t really expect anyone to remember. Just kinda kidding around here. And yes, I’m legal, have been for a while (34 today). Haven’t chosen my laminated list–still trying to decide. You might just make it… 😃 Oh, yeah, and I definitely want my spanking. > \*\* It’s funny, while I was looking through some other posts, I ran across this (geez–in order to get my attention, you’ve got to post something that’s a bit more attention getting than someone else’s kid being born–you’ve got to talk about sex or nudity–or at least history, sports, or Shakespeare). I also found out that you’re married!! :eek: Whaddya think I am? A homewrecker?? I’m appalled–I believe in the sanctity of marriage! Unless… a) if you’re cute enough (but I’ll require the ocular proof this time) b) if I’m big and strong enough to beat the crap out of your husband (don’t hold your breath, I’m 130 lbs and women physically abuse me). Happy 34th birthday, yesterday ☹ I’m 34 myself, single, destitute and a pitiful wretch. So have I engendered enough pity on your part to spank you? ---
**Author:** ![TroubleAgain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@TroubleAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroubleAgain)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2000, 7:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-going-to-get-my-ass-flamed-for-this/23727/47 "2000-06-28T07:38:56Z")
> [@](#): > > Happy 34th birthday, yesterday ☹ > I’m 34 myself, single, destitute and a pitiful wretch. So have I engendered enough pity on your part to spank you? > \*\* DRY, honey, you can spank me. My hubby need never know-- 😉 --He believes in Birthday Spankings anyway, offered me one tonight! (I’m a very faithful wife, very much in love with my hubby, but, damn, I do like to flirt…) So anyway, what’s so pitiful about being single at 34 for a man? You’ve just now reached marriagable age, as far as I’m concerned. I didn’t marry mine until he was 34. I’d never consider anyone younger to be grown-up enough, unless he just impressed the heck out of me with his maturity. I bet you find someone special soon… 🙂 (assuming you want to…) ---
**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2000, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-going-to-get-my-ass-flamed-for-this/23727/48 "2000-06-28T07:53:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > DRY, honey, you can spank me. My hubby need never know-- 😉 --He believes in Birthday Spankings anyway, offered me one tonight! > \*\* Think you can sneak out to So. Cal? > [@](#): > > \*\* > (I’m a very faithful wife, very much in love with my hubby, but, damn, I do like to flirt…) > \*\* TroubleAgain, you’re aptly named. This would be the second time: –I’ve flirted with a lady –who’s married –in the Pit –hijacking someone’s thread > [@](#): > > \*\* > So anyway, what’s so pitiful about being single at 34 for a man? You’ve just now reached marriagable age, as far as I’m concerned. I didn’t marry mine until he was 34. I’d never consider anyone younger to be grown-up enough, unless he just impressed the heck out of me with his maturity. I bet you find someone special soon… 🙂 (assuming you want to…) > \*\* You are far too kind. But there’s a difference between being of marriagable, and _wanted_. I mean, I quote Shakespeare (kind of my M.O. or signature quirk) and still can’t find someone. When questioned closely as to why they didn’t think I’d have a chance, they just muttered something about “ugly tree” and “hitting every branch on the way down” 😕 You have any idea what that means? Anyway, you’re really very sweet. Come over here: “Let me take you a button-hole lower” 😃 –Love’s Labor Lost, Act V, scene ii ---
**Author:** ![ultress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/7c8e57/32.png) [@ultress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultress)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2000, 10:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-going-to-get-my-ass-flamed-for-this/23727/49 "2000-06-28T10:50:50Z")
Happy birthday. Bite me. ---
**Author:** ![TroubleAgain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@TroubleAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroubleAgain)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2000, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-going-to-get-my-ass-flamed-for-this/23727/50 "2000-06-28T13:05:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > I mean, I quote Shakespeare (kind of my M.O. or signature quirk) and still can’t find someone. When questioned closely as to why they didn’t think I’d have a chance, they just muttered something about “ugly tree” and “hitting every branch on the way down” > 😕 > You have any idea what that means? > > Anyway, you’re really very sweet. Come over here: > > “Let me take you a button-hole lower” 😃 > –Love’s Labor Lost, Act V, scene ii > > \*\* DRY, you’ve just made my laminated list. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Corrado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a88e4f/32.png) [@John\_Corrado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Corrado)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2000, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-going-to-get-my-ass-flamed-for-this/23727/51 "2000-06-28T13:54:01Z")
Christ, DRY, can’t you be in _any_ thread without flirting all over it? Anyways. Thanks, all, for wishing me the felchingist happiest birthday ever. (And a Happy non-felching Birthday to you, TroubleAgain.) And Ike- I fully expect to look 80 by the time I hit 40. Hell, there’s only so much further that the bald spot can expand, and the grey hairs are starting to stack up. ---
**Author:** ![\_Ayesha\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/_/e9c0ed/32.png) [@\_Ayesha\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/_Ayesha_1)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2000, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-going-to-get-my-ass-flamed-for-this/23727/52 "2000-06-28T15:55:09Z")
I’m bored. Here’s a quarter, bunny. Get a life. ---
**Author:** ![Saysha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Saysha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saysha)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2000, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-going-to-get-my-ass-flamed-for-this/23727/53 "2000-06-29T00:43:42Z")
But I like it. (Dirge beat: not very snappy but I can’t groan to it) Happy birthday-UH! Happy birthday -UH! May the candles on your cake burn like cities in your wake! Happy Birthday-UH! Happy birthday UH! I can’t EVEN call you a filthy name, I don’t think I can beat the dick head felchey thingees that have already posted. ---
**Author:** ![\_SILENT-BOB\_NOT\_REALLY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/_/3ec8ea/32.png) [@\_SILENT-BOB\_NOT\_REALLY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/_SILENT-BOB_NOT_REALLY)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2000, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-going-to-get-my-ass-flamed-for-this/23727/54 "2000-06-29T01:45:57Z")
:wally ---
**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2000, 8:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-going-to-get-my-ass-flamed-for-this/23727/55 "2000-06-29T08:30:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > Christ, DRY, can’t you be in _any_ thread without flirting all over it? > \*\* Sure. But there’s something about PIT threads… Best birthday wishes again to John Corrado and my new sweetheart, TroubleAgain (kiss, kiss)! ---
**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2000, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-going-to-get-my-ass-flamed-for-this/23727/56 "2000-06-29T13:03:57Z")
Fuck you, John. I hope your birthday sucked. Then gargled. Then swallowed. How did you get your head out of your ass long enough to blow out your candles? Knowing you, you shoved a “special” candle up there, then performed the **Toilet Geraldo** Flaming Felching Blow Out Maneuver™. I’m sure there was plenty of room in your colon. You’ve been sodomized by blue whales, elephants, and dildo-wielding girl scouts for so long that your asshole stretches wider than a snakes’ unhinged jaw. Which is something _else_ I’m sure you’re intimatly familiar with, freak. (\*Hope it was a good one, and I wish you many more. Ya crackwhore.\*) ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2000, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-going-to-get-my-ass-flamed-for-this/23727/57 "2000-06-29T13:08:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > dildo-wielding girl scouts > \*\* I believe we have a winner for the “Band Names” thread in IMHO 😃 ---
**Author:** ![John\_Corrado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a88e4f/32.png) [@John\_Corrado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Corrado)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2001, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-going-to-get-my-ass-flamed-for-this/23727/58 "2001-06-27T18:04:08Z")
For some reason, I felt like bumping this old thread back to the top. Not quite sure why. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2001, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-going-to-get-my-ass-flamed-for-this/23727/59 "2001-06-27T18:10:25Z")
Yer pathetic. And _old_. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Corrado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a88e4f/32.png) [@John\_Corrado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Corrado)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2001, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-going-to-get-my-ass-flamed-for-this/23727/60 "2001-06-27T18:12:24Z")
_sniff_ Ah, the warm embrace of my peers. Thanks, Unc! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-going-to-get-my-ass-flamed-for-this/23727.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-going-to-get-my-ass-flamed-for-this/23727.md?page=4)