# I am so happy - there are faggots back in my local shop! Loveley lovely faggots! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 16, 2005, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-happy-there-are-faggots-back-in-my-local-shop-loveley-lovely-faggots/294815 "2005-03-16T15:04:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![owlstretchingtime](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/958977/32.png) [@owlstretchingtime](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/owlstretchingtime)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2005, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-happy-there-are-faggots-back-in-my-local-shop-loveley-lovely-faggots/294815/1 "2005-03-16T15:04:46Z")
I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels that Britain has been a duller, less savoury, place without our beloved faggots. So imagine my joy when in my local co-op yesterday my eye was caught by a pair of eye catching faggots, easily recognisable by their outlandish appearance. I was so pleased to see them back in their rightful place. I wasted no time and grabbed the faggots, and marched up to the checkout (the one that has the fags behind it) and then promptly marched home with my newly acquired faggots. Once home i got them suitably warmed up until they were fully of rich faggoty goodness. I could barely contain my excitement as I popped them in my mouth. You can’t beat a really hot faggot for oral satisfaction. It’s good to have the faggots back. My wife and family also rejoice in the fact that we can now have all the faggots we want. My wife loves faggots. Needless to say that after this experience with faggots I have spotted dick today, which I will share with the wife. ---
**Author:** ![Panzram](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/919ad9/32.png) [@Panzram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Panzram)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2005, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-happy-there-are-faggots-back-in-my-local-shop-loveley-lovely-faggots/294815/2 "2005-03-16T15:08:41Z")
I like you, you’re silly! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2005, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-happy-there-are-faggots-back-in-my-local-shop-loveley-lovely-faggots/294815/3 "2005-03-16T15:09:38Z")
Were they Mr. Brain’s Faggots? I’m not sure which part of that name is funnier. ---
**Author:** ![GorillaMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/50afbb/32.png) [@GorillaMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GorillaMan)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2005, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-happy-there-are-faggots-back-in-my-local-shop-loveley-lovely-faggots/294815/4 "2005-03-16T15:12:54Z")
For some reason, I’ve now got a mental image of Anthony Worral-Thompson with faggot residue all over his lips. ---
**Author:** ![GorillaMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/50afbb/32.png) [@GorillaMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GorillaMan)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2005, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-happy-there-are-faggots-back-in-my-local-shop-loveley-lovely-faggots/294815/5 "2005-03-16T15:15:12Z")
Oh, and you forgot to mention mastication… ---
**Author:** ![Ithaka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Ithaka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ithaka)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2005, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-happy-there-are-faggots-back-in-my-local-shop-loveley-lovely-faggots/294815/6 "2005-03-16T15:15:46Z")
> [@GorillaMan](#): > > For some reason, I’ve now got a mental image of Anthony Worral-Thompson with faggot residue all over his lips. Because you have planted this meme in my brain I will now dislike you for quite a long period. (Hope you don’t mind.) ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2005, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-happy-there-are-faggots-back-in-my-local-shop-loveley-lovely-faggots/294815/7 "2005-03-16T15:16:05Z")
The hell? Were cigarettes scarce in Britain recently or something? ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2005, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-happy-there-are-faggots-back-in-my-local-shop-loveley-lovely-faggots/294815/8 "2005-03-16T15:16:13Z")
Wow. That was just hilaaaaaaarious. How old are you? ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2005, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-happy-there-are-faggots-back-in-my-local-shop-loveley-lovely-faggots/294815/9 "2005-03-16T15:17:17Z")
Ah, faggots. With fava beans and a fine chianti… no, peas and gravy are more the thing. Yum. Once you get the taste for a faggot, you never lose it. ---
**Author:** ![Ithaka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Ithaka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ithaka)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2005, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-happy-there-are-faggots-back-in-my-local-shop-loveley-lovely-faggots/294815/10 "2005-03-16T15:18:12Z")
> [@Cisco](#): > > How old are you? Being a public school boy never leaves you. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2005, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-happy-there-are-faggots-back-in-my-local-shop-loveley-lovely-faggots/294815/11 "2005-03-16T15:18:50Z")
PS - This is as distinct from the other kind of faggot, of course - the kind that’s only good to be thrown on a big fire. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![dare\_devil007](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3bc359/32.png) [@dare\_devil007](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dare_devil007)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2005, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-happy-there-are-faggots-back-in-my-local-shop-loveley-lovely-faggots/294815/12 "2005-03-16T15:21:14Z")
I don’t like faggots. They make your lungs turn black. Nevertheless, the OP was pretty hilarious. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Bookkeeper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bookkeeper/32/281_2.png) [@Bookkeeper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bookkeeper)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2005, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-happy-there-are-faggots-back-in-my-local-shop-loveley-lovely-faggots/294815/13 "2005-03-16T15:45:13Z")
Did you get some fags, too? I’d hate to think you were reduced to picking up fag ends in the street. ---
**Author:** ![Mycroft\_Holmes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a5b964/32.png) [@Mycroft\_Holmes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mycroft_Holmes)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2005, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-happy-there-are-faggots-back-in-my-local-shop-loveley-lovely-faggots/294815/14 "2005-03-16T15:45:36Z")
> [@dare\_devil007\_](#): > > I don’t like faggots. They make your lungs turn black. Nevertheless, the OP was pretty hilarious. 🙂 No, that’s fags. [This](http://freespace.virgin.net/daz.bert/mirror/rudefood/food/faggots.htm) won’t make your lungs turn black, although your stomach might change colors. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![dare\_devil007](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3bc359/32.png) [@dare\_devil007](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dare_devil007)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2005, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-happy-there-are-faggots-back-in-my-local-shop-loveley-lovely-faggots/294815/15 "2005-03-16T15:47:54Z")
> [@Mycroft Holmes](#): > > No, that’s fags. [This](http://freespace.virgin.net/daz.bert/mirror/rudefood/food/faggots.htm) won’t make your lungs turn black, although your stomach might change colors. 😃 :smack: I stand corrected. ---
**Author:** ![Ithaka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Ithaka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ithaka)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2005, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-happy-there-are-faggots-back-in-my-local-shop-loveley-lovely-faggots/294815/16 "2005-03-16T15:50:36Z")
> [@Bookkeeper](#): > > I’d hate to think you were reduced to picking up fag ends in the street. I quite like fag butts. ---
**Author:** ![Zabali\_Clawbane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/ecd19e/32.png) [@Zabali\_Clawbane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zabali_Clawbane)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2005, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-happy-there-are-faggots-back-in-my-local-shop-loveley-lovely-faggots/294815/17 "2005-03-16T15:52:07Z")
The OP was referring to a [food item](http://freespace.virgin.net/daz.bert/mirror/rudefood/food/faggots.htm), not cigarettes for those who are puzzled. I intend to try faggots (among many other things) if I ever go visit the UK. [Spotted Dick](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spotted_dick). (Does Spotted Dick taste much like bread pudding?) [Faggot](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Faggot_%28food%29). ---
**Author:** ![Jervoise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d2c977/32.png) [@Jervoise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jervoise)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2005, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-happy-there-are-faggots-back-in-my-local-shop-loveley-lovely-faggots/294815/18 "2005-03-16T15:54:58Z")
> [@Ithaka](#): > > Being a public school boy never leaves you. A curriculum of dressing in drag for plays, homoerotic team sports and sodomy tends to have that effect. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2005, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-happy-there-are-faggots-back-in-my-local-shop-loveley-lovely-faggots/294815/19 "2005-03-16T15:57:14Z")
That’s all well and good, just don’t throw your fags out the window when you’re done with them as they generally take about 400 years to decompose. ---
**Author:** ![Mycroft\_Holmes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a5b964/32.png) [@Mycroft\_Holmes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mycroft_Holmes)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2005, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-happy-there-are-faggots-back-in-my-local-shop-loveley-lovely-faggots/294815/20 "2005-03-16T16:07:57Z")
> [@Jervoise](#): > > A curriculum of … sodomy tends to have that effect. 😉 I wonder how they put that on the transcripts. And it is required if you’re going into medical school? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-happy-there-are-faggots-back-in-my-local-shop-loveley-lovely-faggots/294815.md?page=2)