# I am so sick of balloon fruit **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 23, 2005, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-sick-of-balloon-fruit/332365 "2005-11-23T02:06:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![FlyingRamenMonster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@FlyingRamenMonster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlyingRamenMonster)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2005, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-sick-of-balloon-fruit/332365/1 "2005-11-23T02:06:39Z")
I am eating a strawberry. Well good for you, **csharpmajor** , you might say, but that is not the point. This strawberry is not, in fact, a strawberry, but slightly acidic WATER in a strawberry-like covering the size of a small apple, I kid you not (incidentally, apples used to be the size of this here strawberry until they also ballooned to unholy proportions). I AM SO FUCKING SICK OF FRUIT THAT DOES NOT TASTE LIKE FRUIT SHIT FUCK CUNT TWATWAFFLE. Thank you šŸ™‚ ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2005, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-sick-of-balloon-fruit/332365/2 "2005-11-23T02:13:50Z")
Allow me to be the first: WTF??? ---
**Author:** ![LilyoftheValley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/54ee81/32.png) [@LilyoftheValley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LilyoftheValley)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2005, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-sick-of-balloon-fruit/332365/3 "2005-11-23T02:18:22Z")
> [@adam yax](#): > > Allow me to be the first: WTF??? Oh, I know exactly what the OP is saying. Fruit that you buy at the grocery store these days seems to be super-sized compared to my childhood fruit memories. Unfortunately, the unit flavor has not grown at an equivalent pace. ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2005, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-sick-of-balloon-fruit/332365/4 "2005-11-23T02:29:07Z")
> [@csharpmajor](#): > > This strawberry is not, in fact, a strawberry, but slightly acidic WATER in a strawberry-like covering the size of a small apple, I kid you not (incidentally, apples used to be the size of this here strawberry until they also ballooned to unholy proportions). > Thank you šŸ™‚ Sorry bout editing the quoteā€¦I didnā€™t want to preview and see CUN TWAFFLE again. Weā€™ve got an apple tree in the back yard. It produces such small, appley, fruit of stunning appleness that I canā€™t actually apple, _des_-apple-_cribe_ how apple appley they are. Unlike the ones we get from the store, any one of which would feed a small korean family. (Which would still then die of malnourishment.) Not only are they good. Theyā€™re **dangerous**. Theyā€™ve had no insecticide, and thereā€™s just no knowing when youā€™ll get an apple thatā€™s got an additional, symbiotic, resident. So, strong, sweet, and dangerous. Just like LIFE used to be. ---
**Author:** ![MLS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@MLS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MLS)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2005, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-sick-of-balloon-fruit/332365/5 "2005-11-23T02:32:27Z")
We sometimes get wild strawberries in our yard. If we find them before the birds get them, they (the berries, not the birds) are incredible. They are about the size of the fingernail on my pinkie. Itā€™s as if the taste and sweetness of a whole pint of the supermarket jumbo berries has been compacted into that one tiny morsel. ---
**Author:** ![Kid\_A\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Kid\_A\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kid_A_1)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2005, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-sick-of-balloon-fruit/332365/6 "2005-11-23T02:56:05Z")
There is nothing better than fresh local strawberries. For those 2 weeks that Ontario strawberries are in season; orgasmic. Buy from your local farmers. Cheaper and better than any chain. ---
**Author:** ![Ca3799](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9f8e36/32.png) [@Ca3799](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ca3799)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2005, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-sick-of-balloon-fruit/332365/7 "2005-11-23T03:06:06Z")
I havenā€™t had a decent plum in years. I find great peaches on occasion- every two years or so. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2005, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-sick-of-balloon-fruit/332365/8 "2005-11-23T03:38:44Z")
Wild blueberriesā€¦ ---
**Author:** ![Savannah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@Savannah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Savannah)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2005, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-sick-of-balloon-fruit/332365/9 "2005-11-23T03:42:24Z")
Wild _huckleberries._ But yeah. Pit harshly the fruit that does not taste like fruit. I donā€™t want huge, I donā€™t want glossy-perfect, I want \*good. \* And Iā€™m willing to eat it only in season, too. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2005, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-sick-of-balloon-fruit/332365/10 "2005-11-23T04:01:12Z")
Ah, yesā€¦ I remember well hunting the wild strawberries of yore. Up well before the icy dawn, the scent of female strawberry urine strong in the air surround my strawberry blind. After a while, I grow used to its odor, catching the more subtle aromas of other wild fruits in the area. The Sun rises and I catch a sight of one in the distance. Is it? Yes! It isā€¦ The movement of tree limbs reveals a large male strawberry, its rack full and heavy. It disappears from my eyes for but a moment and reappears some twenty yards upwind of me. So close! Having already cocked my rifle with a fresh round, and holding at the ready, I aim my weapon. One glorious explosion of soundā€¦ I keep the sight up to my eye, looking for the felled beast. It was down on the ground, not even twitching. Leaving the shelter of my blind, I approach the great fruit. The single shot had ripped thru its neck, severing the spinal column. Driving home in the early sfternoon sun later that same day, I happily lift my finger in greeting to all the other hunters who acknowledge my hunting prowess. I had met the giant strawberry, in the wild, and I - MAN - had prevailed. Too bad it tasted like assā€¦ ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2005, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-sick-of-balloon-fruit/332365/11 "2005-11-23T04:08:41Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > Ah, yesā€¦ I remember well hunting the wild strawberries of yoreā€¦Too bad it tasted like assā€¦ You sure they were strawberries and not _dingle_berries? šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2005, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-sick-of-balloon-fruit/332365/12 "2005-11-23T04:10:39Z")
> [@Savannah](#): > > And Iā€™m willing to eat it only in season, too. This is the important part - Iā€™m surprised that the OP expected anything other than crappy-tasting strawberries so far out of season. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2005, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-sick-of-balloon-fruit/332365/13 "2005-11-23T04:11:37Z")
> [@Q.E.D.](#): > > You sure they were strawberries and not _dingle_berries? šŸ˜ƒ Someone needs to take you snipe hunting. Quite a trophy kill, those snipe. And tasty. ---
**Author:** ![FlyingRamenMonster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@FlyingRamenMonster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlyingRamenMonster)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2005, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-sick-of-balloon-fruit/332365/14 "2005-11-23T04:18:29Z")
Itā€™s summer here, man. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2005, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-sick-of-balloon-fruit/332365/15 "2005-11-23T04:19:21Z")
> [@csharpmajor](#): > > Itā€™s summer here, man. Damn internetsā€¦ ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2005, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-sick-of-balloon-fruit/332365/16 "2005-11-23T04:19:41Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > Quite a trophy kill, those snipe. And tasty. Iā€™ve [seen](http://www.assateague.org/plover/4-2000-e.html) 'em. Never eaten one though. Buggers are tough to bag. šŸ˜‰ ---
**Author:** ![LilyoftheValley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/54ee81/32.png) [@LilyoftheValley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LilyoftheValley)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2005, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-sick-of-balloon-fruit/332365/17 "2005-11-23T04:26:25Z")
> [@Kid\_A](#): > > Buy from your local farmers. Cheaper and better than any chain. I wish that this were true. I do buy local farm fruits and veggies when I can, but the sad fact is that they usually cost at least twice the price of the grocery store. On the other hand, the wild blueberries in my yard are free but for the price of my labor. And they are fantastic. My 1.5 year old loved to pick them herself, and was very traumatized to discover that they were ā€œall doneā€ by early August. She thought the yard was her personal snack bar. ā˜¹ ---
**Author:** ![Kid\_A\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Kid\_A\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kid_A_1)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2005, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-sick-of-balloon-fruit/332365/18 "2005-11-23T04:29:52Z")
> [@LilyoftheValley](#): > > I wish that this were true. > > I do buy local farm fruits and veggies when I can, but the sad fact is that they usually cost at least twice the price of the grocery store. Really? Is this common in other places too? ---
**Author:** ![capybara](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/capybara/32/202_2.png) [@capybara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capybara)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2005, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-sick-of-balloon-fruit/332365/19 "2005-11-23T04:43:03Z")
Tomatoes. Every now and then you run into a tomato that tastes like tomatoes used to taste. Remember tomato flavor? You can approach it if you grow your own. Same thing with blueberries. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2005, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-sick-of-balloon-fruit/332365/20 "2005-11-23T04:51:57Z")
When I was in high school, my best friendā€™s family owned an old farmhouse up in Cooks Forest, PA. The couple of times I went, weā€™d get up early and go pick huckleberries, and her mom would make fresh huckleberry pancakes. Damn, those were delicious! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-sick-of-balloon-fruit/332365.md?page=2)