# I am so tough I stop my car in the road to FISTFIGHT GRRR TOUGH! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 12, 2005, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-tough-i-stop-my-car-in-the-road-to-fistfight-grrr-tough/289793 "2005-02-12T22:00:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Number](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/number/32/242_2.png) [@Number](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Number)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2005, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-tough-i-stop-my-car-in-the-road-to-fistfight-grrr-tough/289793/41 "2005-02-15T07:07:55Z")
Say **Ooner** , you could be taking it easy on yourself. You should be making it easy on yourself. > [@Gangster Octopus](#): > > I don’t understand why **Ooner** felt the need to slow down. I am not condoning the desire to fight by the other driver, but why not just keep driving as you were? The defensive driving course I just took recommends slowing down when you are being tailgated on a multi-lane road. It safely encourages the person behind you to pass. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2005, 8:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-tough-i-stop-my-car-in-the-road-to-fistfight-grrr-tough/289793/42 "2005-02-15T08:09:22Z")
> [@Indygrrl](#): > > I’m gonna wager a guess that the guy doesn’t have that problem. He looked about 25 and was spry enough to hop right on out of his car and start yelling. > > At any rate, I enjoy confrontation when I’m in a bad mood, and I was in a bad mood that day. Like I said, that’s why I really want to get some mace and a stun gun. 😃 > > I’m a “bring it on” type of gal, and I’d love nothing more than to knock that asshole to his knees for threatening me. Then I’d simply drive around and call the police to report him for threatening me and leaving me no choice but to stun/mace him. Oh but **Indy** the “OOOH so icily worded, I’m above physical confrontation, but not above slicing you in two with a well chosen few words” type rebuttal is so very much more satisfying!!! As is the 500 angry words a second from a small but infuriated spitfire, in which the large buffoon-like man can’t get a word in edgewise (this only works with large buffoon-like men :D). ---
**Author:** ![anya\_marie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@anya\_marie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anya_marie)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2005, 8:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-tough-i-stop-my-car-in-the-road-to-fistfight-grrr-tough/289793/43 "2005-02-15T08:33:37Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted By MacTech :_ \*\* > looks like it’s time to update my anti-tailgater arsenal… > > current arsenal; > a small bag of expired paintballs to splatter on a tailgater’s windscreen > a cup of pennies > a 400,000 candlepower spotlight What purpose do the pennies serve when some asshole is giving you a hard time? A little help, please. :eek: 😃 ---
**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2005, 8:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-tough-i-stop-my-car-in-the-road-to-fistfight-grrr-tough/289793/44 "2005-02-15T08:36:31Z")
You say, “I’ll give you these pennies if you stop tailgating.” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Indygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2005, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-tough-i-stop-my-car-in-the-road-to-fistfight-grrr-tough/289793/45 "2005-02-15T15:07:33Z")
> [@CanvasShoes](#): > > Oh but **Indy** the “OOOH so icily worded, I’m above physical confrontation, but not above slicing you in two with a well chosen few words” type rebuttal is so very much more satisfying!!! > > As is the 500 angry words a second from a small but infuriated spitfire, in which the large buffoon-like man can’t get a word in edgewise (this only works with large buffoon-like men :D). Yeah, that might be more satisfying for you, but I’m a cavewoman and nothing satisfies me more than making a grown man cry. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2005, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-tough-i-stop-my-car-in-the-road-to-fistfight-grrr-tough/289793/46 "2005-02-15T15:22:52Z")
> [@blowero](#): > > You say, “I’ll give you these pennies if you stop tailgating.” 😃 I usually give them at about 60mph. Seriously though, you don’t want to fuck around with throwing shit or beaming shit at other cars. If you do cause an accident you will, in fact, be in a world of shit. I do remember one time when I got pulled over by some old dude who I accidently cut off at the light. He starts yelling at me and shit. It was really tempting to get out and punch him or light his car up with my paintball gun (by coincidence, I was on my way from buying my friends paintball gun), but neither response would be appropriate. Ooner - One of Chris Rocks rules for not getting arrested is “don’t ride with an angry bitch”. The same rule applies for not getting your ass kicked. See you don’t want to be with a woman like yours who shoots her mouth off and writes checks for you that your body won’t be able to cash. It’s no bother to her because she’s not the one who’s going to catch the business end of a fist. You on the other hand may find yourself constantly pressured into stupid fights. I would say that a large percentage of loundmouths are basically exactly that - hot air. They want the other guy to back down so they can feel manly. They usually don’t want an actual fight unless it’s one-sided. My GF and our friends are at some road-side restuarant in Jersey one day and these two meatheads in their Cameros or whatever the fuck they were start getting into it (I think one guy cut the other off or something). So for a good twenty minutes we got to watch “common…you wannna start something!” …“yeah right now mothafucker” back and forth with their bitches chiming in every few minutes. Eventually they both drove off in separate directions. ---
**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2005, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-tough-i-stop-my-car-in-the-road-to-fistfight-grrr-tough/289793/47 "2005-02-15T18:36:56Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > I would say that a large percentage of loundmouths are basically exactly that - hot air. They want the other guy to back down so they can feel manly. They usually don’t want an actual fight unless it’s one-sided. My GF and our friends are at some road-side restuarant in Jersey one day and these two meatheads in their Cameros or whatever the fuck they were start getting into it (I think one guy cut the other off or something). So for a good twenty minutes we got to watch “common…you wannna start something!” …“yeah right now mothafucker” back and forth with their bitches chiming in every few minutes. Eventually they both drove off in separate directions. That’s funny; the same thing happened outside my office window once. These two guys must have gone on for at least twenty minutes like that. I was tempted to open the window and say, “Either fight or shut up.” Or just once, I’d like to hear an exchange like: “You wanna fight?” “No thanks, I just want to yell at you.” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2005, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-tough-i-stop-my-car-in-the-road-to-fistfight-grrr-tough/289793/48 "2005-02-15T19:10:45Z")
> [@wisernow](#): > > From your previous [Wrote a thread about it, too](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=259709) just wanted to confirm. The on-ramp that you talk about, on which this guy attempted to pass you, was it a single lane ramp or a two lane ramp? I have been on 2 lane on ramps, and people passing me on the right is quite common. It seems to me, and as you also mention it, while looking at the freeway traffic, you moved a little too much into the lane right of yours, and this guy was there passing you in that lane had to move right to avoid you. If that were true, his anger was not all that unjustified though even that does not account for road rage and does not give reason to threaten anyone with physical assault. Fairly certain it was a one-lane on-ramp. It happened a while ago, and I haven’t been to Santa Clara since, so I could be wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2005, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-tough-i-stop-my-car-in-the-road-to-fistfight-grrr-tough/289793/49 "2005-02-15T19:16:44Z")
> [@Number](#): > > The defensive driving course I just took recommends slowing down when you are being tailgated on a multi-lane road. It safely encourages the person behind you to pass. That’s surprising to me, I would think it would just add to yours and the tailgaters aggravation. ---
**Author:** ![Number](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/number/32/242_2.png) [@Number](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Number)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2005, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-tough-i-stop-my-car-in-the-road-to-fistfight-grrr-tough/289793/50 "2005-02-15T19:44:23Z")
> [@Gangster Octopus](#): > > That’s surprising to me, I would think it would just add to yours and the tailgaters aggravation. Well it’s tricky. If you do nothing then you’re in an unsafe situation because the car behind you is following too closely. If you have to stop suddenly then they’re going to hit you. They will be at fault, but that will be little consolation if you’re hurt or dead. You need a way to persuade the person to pass without making things any more dangerous. Slamming on the brakes (or simulating it by turning on your headlights or resting your foot on the brake pedal) will definitely get their attention, but it could cause an accident if they panic and swerve. Speeding up might get them off your tail, but then you could be driving faster than the speed limit or conditions permit. You shouldn’t have to drive faster than you’re comfortable, especially in the slow lane. And what do you do if they keep tailgating anyway? Slowly reducing speed by taking your foot off the gas seems to be the best solution. They may get a little upset, but they will be compelled to pass and you will no longer be at risk of being rear-ended. ---
**Author:** ![F.U.Shakespeare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aca169/32.png) [@F.U.Shakespeare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/F.U.Shakespeare)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2005, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-tough-i-stop-my-car-in-the-road-to-fistfight-grrr-tough/289793/51 "2005-02-15T20:48:25Z")
What baffles me are people who get riled up and want to fight who have no damn business fighting. I once had to talk a colleague of mine (“R”) from getting out of the car and fighting a surly toolbooth attendant. There had been an exchange of words, the attendant was a total jerk and he didn’t look especially tough. But R is in his mid-50’s, about 80 pounds overweight and suffers from severe back problems, a heart condition and diabetes. He would have been courting a heart attack taking a swing at a bop bag. I guess that caveman response can sometimes override common sense. ---
**Author:** ![RevCo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9fc348/32.png) [@RevCo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RevCo)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2005, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-tough-i-stop-my-car-in-the-road-to-fistfight-grrr-tough/289793/52 "2005-02-15T21:18:52Z")
> [@Ooner](#): > > Some might consider it weak, the idea of “backing down” from a fight. I consider it evolved. Did you ever think that even civilized adults can get into a fight now and then, that they aren’t all to the death, and sometimes it’s better to get into a confrontation than psychologically torture yourself? It wasn’t “backing down” from a fight, but you ran away from a confrontation that you helped initiate. I personally couldn’t justify your course of action. You/someone in your car flipped off an asshole and then mocked him as he passed. That person confronts you and you run away - with a lot of justifications for your actions, but not standing up for yourself is not indicative of being evolved - it’s fear. Pondering if the other driver has a gun/weapon/a psychopath - you’re going to be afraid of everyone if you start thinking like that - not evolved thinking. You are watching too much television if you thing everyone who is having a bad day is inches away from whipping out a gun and shooting someone. ---
**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2005, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-tough-i-stop-my-car-in-the-road-to-fistfight-grrr-tough/289793/53 "2005-02-15T21:40:36Z")
> [@blowero](#): > > there’s a large segment of the population who believes that physical violence is the natural and inevitable result of any kind of verbal altercation. “If you’re gonna say that, you better be ready to fight” or “He called me such-and-such, so I punched him.” I never quite understood what one has to do with the other, but it seems that many people take it as gospel. They believe in that as much as they believe that gravity makes things fall. Interesting. I said this before, and now RevCo seems like a perfect example of the mentality to which I am referring: > [@RevCo](#): > > Did you ever think that even civilized adults can get into a fight now and then, that they aren’t all to the death, and sometimes it’s better to get into a confrontation than psychologically torture yourself? It wasn’t “backing down” from a fight, but you ran away from a confrontation that you helped initiate. > > I personally couldn’t justify your course of action. You/someone in your car flipped off an asshole and then mocked him as he passed. That person confronts you and you run away - with a lot of justifications for your actions, but not standing up for yourself is not indicative of being evolved - it’s fear. RevCo sees a direct and inevitable connection between a verbal altercation and a physical one, i.e., someone in your car flipped someone off and you therefore are somehow _required_ to engage in a physical battle with that person. I still don’t see why people make that connection. It makes no more sense than saying: “You flipped him off; now you must play a game of Scrabble with him”, or “You flipped him off; now you must dance the Hokey Pokey with him.” ---
**Author:** ![RevCo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9fc348/32.png) [@RevCo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RevCo)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2005, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-tough-i-stop-my-car-in-the-road-to-fistfight-grrr-tough/289793/54 "2005-02-15T22:21:08Z")
> [@blowero](#): > > Interesting. I said this before, and now RevCo seems like a perfect example of the mentality to which I am referring: > > RevCo sees a direct and inevitable connection between a verbal altercation and a physical one, i.e., someone in your car flipped someone off and you therefore are somehow _required_ to engage in a physical battle with that person. I still don’t see why people make that connection. It makes no more sense than saying: “You flipped him off; now you must play a game of Scrabble with him”, or “You flipped him off; now you must dance the Hokey Pokey with him.” The word is **Confrontation.** Confrontation is a part of life - actions have consequences. Don’t go around flipping people off is a good place to start - brag that you’re evolved then deliberately try to piss a guy off - then run when things get serious? Come on. And Hokey Pokey and Scrabble is analogous to flipping some asshole the bird? You must have some family reunions. Also, I never said anyone was required to fight - never _implied_ that. Running from bullies is cowardice. Standing up for oneself is not physical battle. Whats to stop that guy from pulling someone else over, someone smaller than you and beating on them? Running away doesn’t help anyone, and probably hurts **Ooner** in the long run - you have to live with yourself forever, not just one altercation. Getting beat standing up for yourself may not seem so bad in the long scheme of things when you look back at your life. ---
**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2005, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-tough-i-stop-my-car-in-the-road-to-fistfight-grrr-tough/289793/55 "2005-02-15T22:40:35Z")
> [@RevCo](#): > > The word is **Confrontation.** Confrontation is a part of life - actions have consequences. Exactly my point. You, and undoubtedly many others, believe that a fistfight is a _consequence_ of a verbal altercation. What some of us in this thread are trying to say is that we don’t understand the mentality that says a _fistfight_ is the natural and invevitable _result_ of a verbal altercation. They are simply two different things. > [@](#): > > Don’t go around flipping people off is a good place to start - brag that you’re evolved then deliberately try to piss a guy off - then run when things get serious? Again, that’s exactly the mentality I’m talking about. Your implication is that one should be prepared to fight if he gets into a verbal altercation. > [@](#): > > Come on. And Hokey Pokey and Scrabble is analogous to flipping some asshole the bird? You must have some family reunions. I didn’t say they were _analagous_; I said ‘flipping the bird’ = ‘fistfight’ is _equally nonsensical_ as ‘flipping the bird’ = ‘Hokey Pokey’ or ‘Scrabble’. Please try to read. > [@](#): > > Also, I never said anyone was required to fight - never _implied_ that. Running from bullies is cowardice. Those two sentences are mutally contradictory. > [@](#): > > Standing up for oneself is not physical battle. Whats to stop that guy from pulling someone else over, someone smaller than you and beating on them? Fighting him wouldn’t stop that either. > [@](#): > > Running away doesn’t help anyone, Sure it does. Nobody got hurt. That’s win-win. > [@](#): > > and probably hurts **Ooner** in the long run - you have to live with yourself forever, not just one altercation. Getting beat standing up for yourself may not seem so bad in the long scheme of things when you look back at your life. Again, the mentality. You believe that if someone does not accept a fistfight as the inevitable result of a verbal altercation, that he would not be able to “live with himself”. But that’s really a rather arbitrary belief. Just because _you_ believe that ‘verbal exchange’ = ‘fistfight’ doesn’t mean everyone else has to. ---
**Author:** ![RevCo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9fc348/32.png) [@RevCo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RevCo)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2005, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-tough-i-stop-my-car-in-the-road-to-fistfight-grrr-tough/289793/56 "2005-02-16T00:23:53Z")
> [@blowero](#): > > Exactly my point. You, and undoubtedly many others, believe that a fistfight is a _consequence_ of a verbal altercation. What some of us in this thread are trying to say is that we don’t understand the mentality that says a _fistfight_ is the natural and invevitable _result_ of a verbal altercation. They are simply two different things. Yeah, that’s me - I said a fistfight is the result of an altercation. Good Lord, how weak. Look, I said confrontation - I even bolded it before so even a pinhead could understand me - I was mistaken. Defend being a coward all you want - hey, you can safely flame people on the interenet all you want - and you’ll be safe! But please, leave talking about the real world to people who aren’t afraid to walk in public. ---
**Author:** ![iamthewalrus\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/258eb7/32.png) [@iamthewalrus\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamthewalrus_3)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2005, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-tough-i-stop-my-car-in-the-road-to-fistfight-grrr-tough/289793/57 "2005-02-16T00:54:03Z")
> [@RevCo](#): > > Defend being a coward all you want - hey, you can safely flame people on the interenet all you want - and you’ll be safe! But please, leave talking about the real world to people who aren’t afraid to walk in public. You seem to be arguing that this face to face confrontation is (a) not analagous to a fight and (b) a good way of resolving this traffic scuffle. What, in your mind, would be the result of the two getting out of the car to have a man-to-man conversation? I imagine that a fight is pretty likely. Even if they don’t fight, there’s not much resolution to be gained. One guy is pissed that the other is tailgating, the other is pissed at the bird-flipping. At best they’re going to stand there and yell at each other some more. Why bother? How can getting out of the car lead to anything like a good resolution? Does anyone have a great story to tell about their best friend they met when he cut them off in a drivethrough and they ended up rolling around in the hedges while the customers looked on? These things rarely end well. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2005, 8:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-tough-i-stop-my-car-in-the-road-to-fistfight-grrr-tough/289793/58 "2005-02-16T08:56:42Z")
> [@Indygrrl](#): > > Yeah, that might be more satisfying for you, but I’m a cavewoman and nothing satisfies me more than making a grown man cry. 😃 Heh heh. yeah, but how 'bout having them sputter and mutter ala “Uncle Buck” with useless interjections like “listen I…Yeah but…I’ll have…You just…now wait…” etc while their friends hang out of the car watching his impotence regarding getting even one full thought out, and laughing themselves sick. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2005, 9:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-tough-i-stop-my-car-in-the-road-to-fistfight-grrr-tough/289793/59 "2005-02-16T09:14:23Z")
> [@RevCo](#): > > Yeah, that’s me - I said a fistfight is the result of an altercation. Good Lord, how weak. Look, I said confrontation - I even bolded it before so even a pinhead could understand me - I was mistaken. What the bloody fuck are you talking about???!!! If someone wants to fight you, you either (A) fight or (B) don’t fight. The OP chose (B), and according to you, that’s “cowardly”. Perhaps you need to define what the fuck you mean by “confrontation”. You couldn’t be less clear. > [@](#): > > Defend being a coward all you want - hey, you can safely flame people on the interenet all you want - and you’ll be safe! But please, leave talking about the real world to people who aren’t afraid to walk in public. Me RevCo, me macho man. (beats chest). :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2005, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-tough-i-stop-my-car-in-the-road-to-fistfight-grrr-tough/289793/60 "2005-02-16T16:35:57Z")
> [@iamthewalrus(:3=](#): > > You seem to be arguing that this face to face confrontation is (a) not analagous to a fight and (b) a good way of resolving this traffic scuffle. What, in your mind, would be the result of the two getting out of the car to have a man-to-man conversation? I imagine that a fight is pretty likely. Even if they don’t fight, there’s not much resolution to be gained. One guy is pissed that the other is tailgating, the other is pissed at the bird-flipping. At best they’re going to stand there and yell at each other some more. Why bother? How can getting out of the car lead to anything like a good resolution? Not to mention that anyone experiencing road rage is not likely to be thinking straight. I’ve seen a guy narrowly avoid a head-on collision while trying to make a u-turn to get back at my SO. Standing up to anyone not in their right mind is never a good idea. Better to be a live coward than a dead he-man. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-tough-i-stop-my-car-in-the-road-to-fistfight-grrr-tough/289793.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-so-tough-i-stop-my-car-in-the-road-to-fistfight-grrr-tough/289793.md?page=4)