# I Am Starting To Hate My Office-Mate **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 16, 2003, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-starting-to-hate-my-office-mate/207840 "2003-10-16T19:14:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Hyperelastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Hyperelastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hyperelastic)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-starting-to-hate-my-office-mate/207840/1 "2003-10-16T19:14:23Z")
With my last job change, I graduated from a cubicle to an office with a door, but I have one office-mate. After a year and a half, I am starting to hate him. I hate his hipster doofus clothes. I hate the shitty industrial metal music he listens to all day (thankfully on headphones, although I can hear most of it because he turns the volume up to 11). I hate smelling his farts every afternoon. I hate his poster. I hate his messy desk. I hate how he does his job. I hate how he bobs around and nods his head to the beat of his punk-ass music. I hate his Aeron chair and the pieces of lumber he uses to raise his desk so his long bony-ass legs can fit underneath. I hate his egotistical anecdotes. I hate how he goes out to lunch for an hour and a half every day. I hate it when he comes back. I hate overhearing his phone calls. I hate how he always wants to prop the door open, which is in violation of the fire code. I hate hearing about his boring “active single” lifestyle, which consists of biking trips, getting wasted, and playing volleyball at the beach. I hate how he thinks you can only get deep dish pizza in Chicago. I hate the picture of his monkey-looking niece. I hate his whiteboard and everything that’s written on it, even the stuff I wrote. Actually, he’s not a bad guy. This is just an illustration of how familiarity breeds contempt. I shall try to hate him less. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-starting-to-hate-my-office-mate/207840/2 "2003-10-16T19:30:18Z")
He’s sitting across the table from you now, right? Turn the monitor around. I dare ya. ---
**Author:** ![Opengrave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/919ad9/32.png) [@Opengrave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Opengrave)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-starting-to-hate-my-office-mate/207840/3 "2003-10-16T19:42:39Z")
[Been there myself…](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=135930) > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Hyperelastic \* > \*\*… the pieces of lumber he uses to raise his desk so his long bony-ass legs can fit underneath. \*\* OK - now thems fightin’ words! My legs always hurt until I figured out I needed to raise my desk. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-starting-to-hate-my-office-mate/207840/4 "2003-10-16T19:46:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Hyperelastic \* > \*\* I hate his poster. \*\* Tell us more about the poster. Haj ---
**Author:** ![Hyperelastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Hyperelastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hyperelastic)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-starting-to-hate-my-office-mate/207840/5 "2003-10-16T19:50:54Z")
I hate how he can never drink just plain water, it always has to be Ice-Quencher Electric Blue Gatorade, or Farkleberry Capri-Sun, or Peach-Vanilla-Chamomile Tea, or a fantastic dessert beer that has the sweetness of stout with a hint of cherries in the aroma and flavor, making a great complement to a cherry cheese cake, or served just by itself after dinner. However, what I _do_ like is how the new guy in the next office is always calling and interrupting him with dumb questions. Regarding the poster, it’s a picture of a bunch of bicycle racers riding through a field of sunflowers. Disgusting. ---
**Author:** ![blainer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a698b9/32.png) [@blainer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blainer)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-starting-to-hate-my-office-mate/207840/6 "2003-10-16T19:52:10Z")
Sounds like someone has a crush on their office mate . . . ---
**Author:** ![Hyperelastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Hyperelastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hyperelastic)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-starting-to-hate-my-office-mate/207840/7 "2003-10-16T19:56:55Z")
It’s 1:00…fart time! I think he went to the Pakistani place for lunch. ---
**Author:** ![Bongmaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Bongmaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bongmaster)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-starting-to-hate-my-office-mate/207840/8 "2003-10-16T20:07:12Z")
Totally, I get the same thing at times. I work with really great people (in general) but man, some days I’d be happy to never see any of them again. You wind up spending more time with your co-workers than with your family. ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-starting-to-hate-my-office-mate/207840/9 "2003-10-16T21:16:04Z")
"I hate the picture of his monkey-looking niece. " Classic. ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-starting-to-hate-my-office-mate/207840/10 "2003-10-16T21:53:39Z")
Aw, c’mon. Farkleberry is the best flavor out there! ---
**Author:** ![Hyperelastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Hyperelastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hyperelastic)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2003, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-starting-to-hate-my-office-mate/207840/11 "2003-10-16T23:29:49Z")
I hate his “Jame Gumb” phone voice. I hate the drink he brought back from lunch: Sub Zero something or other. I hate his computer, especially his optical mouse. I hate the Certificate of Special Recognition over his desk. I hate how he always eats a Balance Bar at 10 am. I hate listening to him eat, especially something he likes, because he always says “Yummy”. Time to go home! ---
**Author:** ![In\_Conceivable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/4bbf92/32.png) [@In\_Conceivable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/In_Conceivable)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2003, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-starting-to-hate-my-office-mate/207840/12 "2003-10-17T01:26:25Z")
What did you write on his whiteboard? ---
**Author:** ![LilyoftheValley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/54ee81/32.png) [@LilyoftheValley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LilyoftheValley)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2003, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-starting-to-hate-my-office-mate/207840/13 "2003-10-17T02:05:55Z")
Tell me I’m not the only one who opened this thread to make sure it wasn’t about me. :o ---
**Author:** ![threemae](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5f9b8f/32.png) [@threemae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/threemae)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2003, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-starting-to-hate-my-office-mate/207840/14 "2003-10-17T02:36:11Z")
That Graham Watson one of the Tour de France going through a field of sunflowers? Seeing how this is the pit and all: Go to hell. I hate this poster: Hyperelastic ---
**Author:** ![WILLASS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/54ee81/32.png) [@WILLASS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WILLASS)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2003, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-starting-to-hate-my-office-mate/207840/15 "2003-10-17T04:26:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Hyperelastic \* > \*\* I hate his whiteboard and everything that’s written on it, **even the stuff I wrote**. > > \*\* This totally cracked me up…😃 ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Bee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ba0ec/32.png) [@Larry\_Bee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Bee)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2003, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-starting-to-hate-my-office-mate/207840/16 "2003-10-17T12:56:34Z")
[Inspire yourself here.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=204661&%5B/)😉 ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2003, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-starting-to-hate-my-office-mate/207840/17 "2003-10-17T13:22:59Z")
I once shared an office with a guy who ate fruit all day and chewed with his mouth open. The constant smack, smack smacking all day long made me loath him. Luckily, I have my own office now. ---
**Author:** ![Indygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2003, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-starting-to-hate-my-office-mate/207840/18 "2003-10-17T13:57:05Z")
This thread actually made me lol. I used to sit next to a guy who had this annoying horking, snorting laugh—and he would do it all day while IM’ing his friends and looking up various Lord of the Rings merchandise. I moved cubes because he annoyed me so much. ---
**Author:** ![Hyperelastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Hyperelastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hyperelastic)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2003, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-starting-to-hate-my-office-mate/207840/19 "2003-10-17T14:22:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by threemae \* > \*\*That Graham Watson one of the Tour de France going through a field of sunflowers? > \*\* Yeah, that’s the one. _Your_ copy of the poster is fine. _His_ copy of the poster sucks bus exhaust. I hate, hate, hate his iPod. Gotta get to work! ---
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2003, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-starting-to-hate-my-office-mate/207840/20 "2003-10-17T14:33:32Z")
So what does he hate about you? When he’s sitting over there bopping his head and munching his Balence Bar and writing on his white board, what rage-filled monolouge is streaming through **his** head? Come on, man, we need to have both sides of the story for when this becomes an Onion headline. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-starting-to-hate-my-office-mate/207840.md?page=2)