# I am taking steps to end the most damaging friendship I've ever had and... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 28, 2006, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-taking-steps-to-end-the-most-damaging-friendship-ive-ever-had-and/342009 "2006-01-28T20:28:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-taking-steps-to-end-the-most-damaging-friendship-ive-ever-had-and/342009/61 "2006-01-31T15:10:30Z")
> [@sandra\_nz](#): > > I don’t know which is funnier/sadder. Someone posting for advice they have no intention of following, or others posting advice knowing the OP has no intention of following it. You make a good point. It frustrates the crap out of me to encounter people who won’t help themselves, but there’s not a damned thing you can do. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2006, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-taking-steps-to-end-the-most-damaging-friendship-ive-ever-had-and/342009/62 "2006-02-01T01:01:15Z")
> [@Lobsang](#): > > …What doesn’t kill me will make me stronger… Yeah, maybe so, but what _ **does** _ kill you, will kill you. I think you’re making a big mistake striking up relations again with this girl. No good can come of it. To be brutally frank, “I have to work with her” is a pathetic excuse; OK, you don’t have to blank her, but you also didn’t have to jump up and beg when she confronted you. Even now, she’s seeking to regain control. Exercise that backbone you claim to have and put some distance between yourself and her. ---
**Author:** ![Faruiza](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecd19e/32.png) [@Faruiza](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Faruiza)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2006, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-taking-steps-to-end-the-most-damaging-friendship-ive-ever-had-and/342009/63 "2006-02-01T01:11:33Z")
I don’t even know you irl, and I have to tell you that it is going to pain me to say this as though I’m about to say it to my best friend. I really used to like you…well, reading your posts, anyhow. (Weird to like someone you’ve never met, eh?) But. You are not the you I used to like. You are somebody else. Who the fuck are you? You’ve become pathetic. Get it together. ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2006, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-taking-steps-to-end-the-most-damaging-friendship-ive-ever-had-and/342009/64 "2006-02-01T02:39:48Z")
> [@Faruiza](#): > > … Get it together. It’s early days to say this but I intend to. I have stopped drinking… No occasional or weekend or social drinking… No drinking at all. My ability to cope with stuff was being made worse by drink. My problems were being blown out of proportion in my mind because of drink. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2006, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-taking-steps-to-end-the-most-damaging-friendship-ive-ever-had-and/342009/65 "2006-02-01T03:31:50Z")
I have a feeling this girl isn’t nearly as manipulative as he claims she is, either. Good, you stopped drinking. When are you going to call and make an appointment with a shrink? ---
**Author:** ![Linty\_Fresh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Linty\_Fresh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Linty_Fresh)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2006, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-taking-steps-to-end-the-most-damaging-friendship-ive-ever-had-and/342009/66 "2006-02-01T23:26:51Z")
See, this is why I don’t want to have kids. They come to you with their problems, and you try your damndest to help them out. You try to reason with them. You show them where they went wrong, you explain to them their options for the future, and then you tell them the stories of how you made exactly the same mistake when you were their age, but that it’s OK, because we all make mistakes, and mistakes help us learn. Then you watch as they totally ignore your advice and keep making the same mistake again and again and again. Then they yell at you that you just don’t understand what it’s like, even though you just got through telling them about how it happened to you. Then they make the same mistake again, only this time they start doing it while drinking, and then they wonder why they’re so screwed up. Then everyone starts over with them coming to you with their problems. Honestly, I don’t know how parents who actually love their kids stay sane. I don’t know what else to tell you, **Lobsang**. Make sure your safety bar’s locked in tight, because your in for one _hell_ of a rollercoaster ride. ☹ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-taking-steps-to-end-the-most-damaging-friendship-ive-ever-had-and/342009.md?page=3)