I am the center of the universe!!!

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
21

As a little kid, I had a slightly more advanced (read: “messed up”) version of this.

I knew I wasn’t the centre of the universe, and that I was just some kid. However, I suspected everybody thought I was that stupid, awkward kid, and they somehow had some prescient knowledge of me (not anything supernatural, but maybe just some grown-up grapevine of “there’s this dumb kid in our town”), and I would marvel how they kept a straight face when I went into a shop or something.

Not that I believed it, deep, deep down. But yet…

22

I went through the solipsism phase as a toddler as well. The moment I figured out it was probably false was when my sister told me there was a whole philosophy based around it - tons of other people who think they’re the center of the universe.

As a kind-of-related digression, when I was 10 or 11 I was walking down a busy street when a random person ran past me and shouted something at me along the lines of “Hey, you’re awesome!” Chances are that they were feeling giddy or it was a dare or something, but I created this whole narrative all about how they were a time traveler who had traveled back in time to visit the incredible, world-famous scientist/musician/writer/whatever, Octarine, when she was just a child.
Anyway . . .

23

Perhaps you should discuss this with someone who may be able to help you figure it out.

Do y’all know anyone else other Boy Jim that you believe to be God? If so, that would be someone worth discussing it with.

24

To the best of my knowledge, you are not the only person here who believes that BJ is God. I know of several others who believe that and I think they have good reason to believe the way they do.

I have been following BJ for quite some time now and have always found his posts to be very informative, persuasive and quite enlightening. However, that is just one person’s opinion and if you have not been following them as closely as I have, you may have come to your own conclusions.

Although BJ’s opinions are most certainly some of the finest in the field of culture and philosophy, I believe those posts have a twinge of originality and a unique perspective that you just won’t find anywhere else today. Nowhere! No How! Just so unique, I have no shame in saying that his posts are truly fabulous!

25

Ummm … okay.

Just remember you believe this because I commanded it to be so.

Also, in my universe, ass kissing gives you a higher quality afterlife.

So. Carry on.

BTW, who else believes I’m God? I must reward them and smite their enemies.

26

Me. I believe he created me in his image.

27

You’re a handsome little devil aren’t you?

28

Wait, you mean other people get over that?

29

I am the center of the universe!!!

Looks intently at own navel

Hello? Helloooo!?
…
Ha!, you had me for a minute!

30

Nice one! I’ve seen another that said: “Solipsism: It’s not for everyone, just those of me who exist.”

31

You were the center of the universe a Planck unit ago, but the universe continued expanding and now you aren’t.
(it’s my turn to be the center of the universe tomorrow, at 1317:39 MST)

32

I’ve got a solipsitic philosophy that lets everyone be real, so I view mine as the superior one (I synthesized it by refining a concept I once read in Breakfast of Champions by Kurt Vonnegut, so he gets partial credit for it).

NOT Kilgore Trout’s Now It Can Be Told.

33

I know a lot of people who subscribe to this theory when they drive. My wife and I even call it “the Center of the Universe Problem.”

34

Did you hear the one about the dyslexic agnostic?

He questioned the existence of Yobo Jmi.