# I am too stupid to have a pony tail! Too stupid! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 14, 2004, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-too-stupid-to-have-a-pony-tail-too-stupid/274774 "2004-11-14T22:38:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2004, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-too-stupid-to-have-a-pony-tail-too-stupid/274774/1 "2004-11-14T22:38:00Z")
My hair is long and straight. I wear it in a pony tail. If the pony tail elastic is too loose, my hair slips out. If the pony tail elastic is tight enough not to allow my hair to slip out, it’s too tight to get the hair into in the first place. My fingers hurt from trying to pull a hank of hair through a too-tight elastic band! I tore a fingernail! I have elastic band indentations on my knuckles! Am I too stupid for long hair? Do I need to shave it all? Is there hope for me, O Dopers? _sob_ ---
**Author:** ![ruadh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d2c977/32.png) [@ruadh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ruadh)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2004, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-too-stupid-to-have-a-pony-tail-too-stupid/274774/2 "2004-11-14T22:49:09Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > Is there hope for me, O Dopers? No. You should kill yourself now. only kidding. I’m in the same boat as you, actually. And I’m also absolutely hopeless at hairstyling of any kind. I look at people that manage to french braid their own hair with wonder and awe. I can’t even get mine to go into bobby pins right 😕 ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2004, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-too-stupid-to-have-a-pony-tail-too-stupid/274774/3 "2004-11-14T23:01:18Z")
> [@ruadh](#): > > No. You should kill yourself now. My rubber bands aren’t big enough for that, either! Wah! ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2004, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-too-stupid-to-have-a-pony-tail-too-stupid/274774/4 "2004-11-14T23:31:14Z")
That’s why they invented barrettes. twicks, who also has very, very straight hair ---
**Author:** ![Sattua](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sattua/32/11906_2.png) [@Sattua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sattua)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2004, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-too-stupid-to-have-a-pony-tail-too-stupid/274774/5 "2004-11-14T23:41:44Z")
I wear mine in a bun. It’s too long for a ponytail to fall correctly, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2004, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-too-stupid-to-have-a-pony-tail-too-stupid/274774/6 "2004-11-14T23:41:46Z")
I COMPLETELY misunderstood what this thread was gonna be about, based on the title. That is all. ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Purl\_McKnittington](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9a140/32.png) [@Miss\_Purl\_McKnittington](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Purl_McKnittington)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2004, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-too-stupid-to-have-a-pony-tail-too-stupid/274774/7 "2004-11-14T23:53:20Z")
**jsgoddess** , how many times are you wrapping the ponytail holder around your hair? I use Goody “ouchless” elastics, which are big enough to go on my wrist without stretching, and I always have to twist the holder around my hair at least three times for it to stay in. You might want to think about investing in some jaw clips. Way easier and quicker than a ponytail, though they don’t work very well if your hair is really fine. ---
**Author:** ![Adoptamom\_II](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/7ba0ec/32.png) [@Adoptamom\_II](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Adoptamom_II)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2004, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-too-stupid-to-have-a-pony-tail-too-stupid/274774/8 "2004-11-14T23:55:21Z")
Try [these thicker ones](http://www.oz.net/~greglove/longhair/hairbands/hairbands.htm) . When my stick straight, silky hair was longer, I found these held better and did not break my hair. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2004, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-too-stupid-to-have-a-pony-tail-too-stupid/274774/9 "2004-11-15T00:03:23Z")
> [@Miss Purl McKnittington](#): > > **jsgoddess** , how many times are you wrapping the ponytail holder around your hair? I use Goody “ouchless” elastics, which are big enough to go on my wrist without stretching, and I always have to twist the holder around my hair at least three times for it to stay in. The ones I have now have to be doubled to stay in, but when they’re doubled it is really really hard to draw the hair through them. You put it on once, twist the band, and try to draw the pony tail through the new loop. But that loop! That loop! It’s killing me. My hair absolutely doesn’t want to go through that little loop. You know how the hair is doubled over at that point? Well, it just doesn’t fit through the loop without a struggle. But if the elastic is any looser, my hair just sliiiides right out of it. ---
**Author:** ![Jayn\_Newell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Jayn\_Newell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jayn_Newell)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2004, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-too-stupid-to-have-a-pony-tail-too-stupid/274774/10 "2004-11-15T00:15:20Z")
That why we have scrunchies. I can’t use regular elastic bands in my hair, nor the ‘ouchless’ kind (which still manage to get tangled in my hair and are a pain, literally and figuratively, to pull out). My hair is too thick for them, in fact the Goody kind can barely get around my hair once, and they don’t hold well. But scrunchies (and the bigger, fancier elastics) work well for me. YMMV, depending on your hair. ---
**Author:** ![Mithril](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mithril/32/3517_2.png) [@Mithril](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mithril)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2004, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-too-stupid-to-have-a-pony-tail-too-stupid/274774/11 "2004-11-15T00:46:46Z")
You could try [these](http://smoothiesbyintuition.com/ponytail-holders-bungee-bands.html). They’re elastics with hooks on the ends, so you can always adjust them to just the right tightness. I love 'em. ---
**Author:** ![monica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a183cd/32.png) [@monica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monica)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2004, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-too-stupid-to-have-a-pony-tail-too-stupid/274774/12 "2004-11-15T00:55:34Z")
The problem is not you. I repeat, the problem is not you. The problem is with the bands you are using. Try different ones. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2004, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-too-stupid-to-have-a-pony-tail-too-stupid/274774/13 "2004-11-15T01:50:21Z")
No ideas here. I just wanted to say that I love long hair AND I love pony tails. ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2004, 10:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-too-stupid-to-have-a-pony-tail-too-stupid/274774/14 "2004-11-15T10:29:31Z")
> [@Mithril](#): > > You could try [these](http://smoothiesbyintuition.com/ponytail-holders-bungee-bands.html). They’re elastics with hooks on the ends, so you can always adjust them to just the right tightness. I love 'em. That has my mind racing. What else would they be useful for? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Tiggrkitty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tiggrkitty/32/17966_2.png) [@Tiggrkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tiggrkitty)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2004, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-too-stupid-to-have-a-pony-tail-too-stupid/274774/15 "2004-11-15T12:29:37Z")
> [@ruadh](#): > > I look at people that manage to french braid their own hair with wonder and awe. 😕 It took me MONTHS of practice to french braid my own hair. When I first started, my arms would start hurting 30 seconds into it. I would start, stop, start, stop for 15 minutes before I could get all the hair braided. Now it only takes a couple of minutes to braid. It’s a real pain to learn but it looks nice if you are going out for the evening and want to wear your hair different. I take the tail end of the braid and tuck it underneath the main braid and bobby pin it in place. Looks very elegant when done correctly. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2004, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-too-stupid-to-have-a-pony-tail-too-stupid/274774/16 "2004-11-15T13:02:17Z")
Whenever I read threads like this, it gives me one more reason to thank Og I am a guy who just gets his hair buzz cut once a month. I swear, if I had to do stuff to my hair other than wash and towel dry it, I’d go nuts. Ponytail? French braid? Bun? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2004, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-too-stupid-to-have-a-pony-tail-too-stupid/274774/17 "2004-11-15T17:33:11Z")
I can’t do ponytails either; the rubber band always comes loose, or the damn thing ends up being crooked on my head and I look demented. Fortunately, my hair is only a bit longer than shoulder-length so I don’t have too much trouble with it. Kythereia, who has a bit of a natural wave / curl, but is mostly straight… hair-wise, at least 😉 ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2004, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-too-stupid-to-have-a-pony-tail-too-stupid/274774/18 "2004-11-15T18:02:09Z")
I’ll second \*\*Mithril’s \*\* suggestion of the bungee bands. My hair is just so long (past my butt) that it’s very difficult to pull it all through a pony multiple times without it snagging somewhere. The bungees I just wrap around twice and hook em. If you put the hooks on the bottom, you can’t even see them. And they don’t slip, even with the considerable weight of my hair. If you can’t find bungee bands, do try the larger size of pony band. Three times does it for me. The little thin ones would need about one and a half to be perfect, but of course that’s impossible. I save the little ones for the two braid Pocohantas look. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2004, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-too-stupid-to-have-a-pony-tail-too-stupid/274774/19 "2004-11-15T18:13:14Z")
I’m Too stupid for long hair Too stupid for long hair I should just get some Nair Are you at least putting a shirt before you go out now? ---
**Author:** ![Ashes\_Ashes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/db5fbb/32.png) [@Ashes\_Ashes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashes_Ashes)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2004, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-too-stupid-to-have-a-pony-tail-too-stupid/274774/20 "2004-11-15T22:31:25Z")
Make your own! I made scrunchies back when they were super popular and eventually cut out the fabric middle man. Take a length of elastic that works for you and then sew the ends together. Wah-lah, a tailored elastic band! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-too-stupid-to-have-a-pony-tail-too-stupid/274774.md?page=2)