# I am turning into a crotchety old lady. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 15, 2008, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-turning-into-a-crotchety-old-lady/463725 "2008-09-15T18:24:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2008, 11:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-turning-into-a-crotchety-old-lady/463725/21 "2008-09-16T11:59:25Z")
My mother has never followed soaps. But now she has one she Must Watch. And I love that! I wish they played it on the weekends! There should be more of it! Why, you must ask? Because, while I do call Mom and listen dutifully to her recounting of the same stuff she’s already told me three times and refrain from pointing out she’s told me that story until she goes for the fourth attempt; while I do keep a bullet-points list of stuff she’ll want to have mentioned and questions she’ll want asked… I hate speaking on the phone. And I hate listening to her recounting a conversation with a third party. I already hate it the first time, but by the third time I want to grab Mom, yell “get to the point woman!” and throw her off her 10th floor balcony, but I don’t because the one she’d fall onto belongs to a family of lawyers and the ensuing civil suit would hurt more than the criminal one. Where other people will tell you “I had an argument with your Lilbro,” what about and how it ended, she must explain: what was she wearing, what was Lilbro wearing, where they were, how is the room decorated, (Mom, it’s your living room, I know exactly what it looks like, what knicknacks you have and where) whether there was other people there, what had they been doing, the complete conversation, including descriptions of gestures… So, you know what? If I call Mom at 3:30pm on a weekday - there is enough time for a bullet-point conversation and then the soap begins! And she Must Watch! So she’s the one who cuts the conversation! YES! My life should include more of that soap. Specially since, blessedly, Mom doesn’t insist in telling me about it. Now don’t you go giving her ideas! ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2008, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-turning-into-a-crotchety-old-lady/463725/22 "2008-09-16T12:07:08Z")
The BBC has a TV program called ‘Grumpy Old Men’. It hits the spot! As an elderly teacher, I enjoy telling pupils that they say ‘like’ and you know’ far too often. Once they listen to themselves e.g. “So I said, you know, that, like, it was dreadful and she went, like, whatever?!”, and really try to stop this habit, they can’t speak continuously. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![mmouse9799](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@mmouse9799](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mmouse9799)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2008, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-turning-into-a-crotchety-old-lady/463725/23 "2008-09-16T13:15:46Z")
> [@Mahna\_Mahna](#): > > Gotcha beat by 30 years! 😃 > > (actually… make that 35, seeing as I’ve been crocheting for about 5 years now) I know I’m crotchety, but I was given my first pair of knitting needles at 13. Have I really been old and crotchety for that long? :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![anya\_marie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@anya\_marie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anya_marie)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2008, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-turning-into-a-crotchety-old-lady/463725/24 "2008-09-16T13:43:27Z")
I don’t like my neighbors. I live with 4 cats I own 4 cardigans I mock other people’s driving without having a license ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2008, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-turning-into-a-crotchety-old-lady/463725/25 "2008-09-16T14:02:12Z")
> [@Antinor01](#): > > One of my goals in life is to become a crotchety old man. I don’t expect it to happen for another decade or more though. You young people have no ambition. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2008, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-turning-into-a-crotchety-old-lady/463725/26 "2008-09-16T14:53:17Z")
Bah, I haven’t liked anything in about twenty years. As my age and my gray hairs increase, I feel more and more like the real me. I’m looking forward to the bizarre wardrobe and the cat collection. ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2008, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-turning-into-a-crotchety-old-lady/463725/27 "2008-09-16T14:55:39Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > Bah, I haven’t liked anything in about twenty years. As my age and my gray hairs increase, I feel more and more like the real me. I’m looking forward to the bizarre wardrobe and the cat collection. Perhaps it’ll soon be time to dye the hair blue or pink. I can’t wait for that. Funny - we call teenagers with pink hair obnoxious and rebellious, but it’s perfectly acceptable on old ladies. I think old men should get in the game, too. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to get a beehive hairdo. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2008, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-turning-into-a-crotchety-old-lady/463725/28 "2008-09-16T15:04:01Z")
Speech patterns…don’t get me started… Too late. One of the operators where I work has the annoying habit of saying “that would be…” in response to every question asked by a dispatcher. “Address?” “That would be…” “Phone number?” “That would be…” It makes me crazy. And the 21 year old who keeps going to sleep in his chair needs to learn to sleep before he comes to work. I will not cry when he gets fired. See the mini-rants thread in the Pit for the rant on late co-workers. I do not crochet, but I do counted cross stitch and have 8 cats. ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2008, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-turning-into-a-crotchety-old-lady/463725/29 "2008-09-16T15:05:06Z")
> [@lorene](#): > > You young people have no ambition. Hey! I’m still enjoying being a cynical young man. There’s plenty of time yet. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2008, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-turning-into-a-crotchety-old-lady/463725/30 "2008-09-16T15:07:39Z")
> [@Mahna\_Mahna](#): > > I’m seriously thinking of sitting on my porch for a few days with my hose and spraying every jackass who permits his dog to walk into my garden for a territorial whizz. > > You see, at some point, some jackass let his dog pee on my spirea bush. Which, of course, means all other dogs must also pee on said spirea bush, because that’s what dogs do when they’re out for a walk… pee where every other freakin’ dog in the neighbourhood has paused to pee before them. My poor bush looks like hell, because dog urine is a piss-poor fertilizer (if you’ll pardon the pun). > > Maybe I’ll spray a few kids who walk on my lawn while I’m at it. > > (besides, the fact that I even _know_ what a spirea bush is and can tell it apart from other shrubbery is in and of itself an indicator of my impending crochet-dom) It helps if you have a cane, too, so you can shake it at them as you yell “get off my lawn!”. ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2008, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-turning-into-a-crotchety-old-lady/463725/31 "2008-09-16T16:16:34Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > I’m looking forward to the bizarre wardrobe. So far, at least, I have resisted comfortable shoes. Not that all of my shoes are UNcomfortable, but looks still drive a lot of my purchases. ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2008, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-turning-into-a-crotchety-old-lady/463725/32 "2008-09-16T16:21:32Z")
This is probably more cantankerous than crotchety. But working full time on a school project, and often stopping in at a Starbuck’s when running errands in the afternoon, I see this very often in the late afternoon, around 5PM: SQUEALING, SHRIEKING, and CRYING tots in their parents’ tow, or sometimes it might be two mothers arriving together who each have their kid in tow. Just because they don’t serve booze doesn’t mean a cafe is a suitable place to bring small children. OTOH it’s difficult to be overly angry at the parents who are likely starved for adult oriented surroundings. The last time this happened I actually got so annoyed I said “God damn it” to no one in particular. But at least the Starbuck’s people should post small respectfully worded signs asking parents to do what they can to keep their kids quiet. If it means letting toddlers have their favorite toy or treat, then why not? For older kids, maybe a quiet game or toy of some kind would work. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2008, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-turning-into-a-crotchety-old-lady/463725/33 "2008-09-16T16:23:23Z")
**lorene** : Me too, but one fine day, I’m going to throw it all out and start buying all the WTH? stuff I see. I’ve been threatening the kids with it for a long time. “Your kids will _never_ want to come to Grandma Julie’s house!” ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2008, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-turning-into-a-crotchety-old-lady/463725/34 "2008-09-16T16:26:06Z")
> [@eleanorigby](#): > > Are you me? I can’t stand to listen to anyone else chew. I can’t abide soaps. I can’t handle most other people’s habits and eccentricities–hell, I don’t like my own at times. > > I have it on good authority that I am old, if not crotchety, so this is nothing new to me. > > I can’t stand when someone goes over something with me that we’ve already discussed. If I hear one more time how the movers lost my mother’s shoes, I’ll scream. I’m all for listening–but I cannot listen more than once (for something like shoes anyway). > > I am also suffering from a paucity of creativity today, so this is dull. Sorry. ☹ Snap! to all you said. Wanna get married? ---
**Author:** ![gravitycrash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/977dab/32.png) [@gravitycrash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gravitycrash)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2008, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-turning-into-a-crotchety-old-lady/463725/35 "2008-09-16T19:35:52Z")
Yes, I am turning into a crotchety old man. Morning people who want to jabber away at 7:30 am. I hate life in general at that time so stick your sunny disposition somewhere. ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2008, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-turning-into-a-crotchety-old-lady/463725/36 "2008-09-16T20:05:02Z")
> [@gravitycrash](#): > > Yes, I am turning into a crotchety old man. Morning people who want to jabber away at 7:30 am. I hate life in general at that time so stick your sunny disposition somewhere. _“Hell is other people at breakfast.”_ — Sartre ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Woodhouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/838e76/32.png) [@Miss\_Woodhouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Woodhouse)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2008, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-turning-into-a-crotchety-old-lady/463725/37 "2008-09-16T20:10:58Z")
I can’t stand listening to other people eat. My kids may put their elbows on the table, but they shut their mouths when they chew or they hear it from mom. I get the creeps when people try to read over my shoulder. _shudder_ I also say “that’s nice.” when a child says “I want (insert food or drink item.)” I expect a “please, may I have” and a decent thank you. I do this to other people’s children as well. I wear raggy cardigans in the winter and complain about how expensive natural gas is. I’ve been dying my hair for five years because of excessive greying. I started dying when I was in my late twenties. I have large grey streaks in it now as well as the salt and pepper look other places. If that doesn’t make a girl crotchety, I don’t know what will. :mad: ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2008, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-turning-into-a-crotchety-old-lady/463725/38 "2008-09-16T20:17:29Z")
> [@chowder](#): > > Snap! to all you said. > > Wanna get married? Depends. Do you leave dirty socks on the floor? What about dirty dishes? are you sanitary? :dubious: We’ll see. **SNL** My husband does that, but says, “is”. To hear him on the phone makes me want to scream. He’ll be ordering something and I’ll hear him say, “…is [insert name here]… is [insert address here]… is [insert phone number]” AUGH! STFU already. That and he says, “super” all the time. “dinner will be 2 hours late.” Super! “I had a meh day at work.” Super! “#2 son was beaten up and left for dead on the roadside.” Super! (ok, just kidding there. #2 son is just fine). I want some kind of people annihilator which I can strap on and go through crowds, shouting, “culling!” and fire at will… Maybe I’m more than crotchety. ---
**Author:** ![susan\_foster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@susan\_foster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan_foster)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2008, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-turning-into-a-crotchety-old-lady/463725/39 "2008-09-16T21:53:56Z")
I used to share an office with a good friend of mine. She told me that I spoke too loudly on the phone; I told her I hated to hear her breathe. Susan (The used part of that statement is not because we aren’t friends anymore, it’s just that she left the job. And a good thing too - I was ready to stop the breathing in a violent manner) ---
**Author:** ![Meyer6](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cc9497/32.png) [@Meyer6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meyer6)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2008, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-turning-into-a-crotchety-old-lady/463725/40 "2008-09-16T22:06:58Z")
Just the other day I heard the words “All this new music just sounds like noise to me” come out of my mouth. I’m only 29, but I fear it’s starting now. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-turning-into-a-crotchety-old-lady/463725.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-turning-into-a-crotchety-old-lady/463725.md?page=3)