# I am very afraid **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 26, 2016, 10:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-very-afraid/760926 "2016-07-26T10:41:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![SigMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@SigMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SigMan)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2016, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-very-afraid/760926/41 "2016-07-27T00:08:09Z")
Looks like I’ll die before I hit 71. I’m 66 now. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Julius\_Henry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8797f3/32.png) [@Julius\_Henry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Julius_Henry)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2016, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-very-afraid/760926/42 "2016-07-27T00:11:11Z")
I guessed at my BMI being 40 and it gave me until August 28 of this year – 32 more days, time to plan the farewell party to end all farewell parties. Then I saw the BMI calculator, which puts it at 34 and recalculated. I’ll be dying this Thursday. Anybody want to buy tickets to a play this weekend? ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2016, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-very-afraid/760926/43 "2016-07-27T00:21:56Z")
1. Wow. I’m awesome. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2016, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-very-afraid/760926/44 "2016-07-27T00:25:47Z")
I apparently died in 2011. I never noticed. ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Gay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/3ab097/32.png) [@Enola\_Gay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Gay)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2016, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-very-afraid/760926/45 "2016-07-27T00:33:31Z")
> [@leftfield6](#): > > Mine says I’ll pass in 2037 at the age of 73. > > Perfect. > > Having seen two parents age into their 90s, I don’t want to live that life. When i get to about 70, I’m going to start doing more and more risky stuff. > > Skydive? Sure, let’s go. Turmoil in Argentina? Great time for a visit. Top speed of this sportbike is 175? Let’s see about that. Hike the Appalachian Trail solo? Always wanted to do it, let’s go. I just got 98, was elated, but now am picturing myself in a diaper with shit for brains. Please god please let me be like Granny from the Beverly Hillbillies. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2016, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-very-afraid/760926/46 "2016-07-27T00:56:27Z")
> [@LouisB](#): > > I know there must be a rule about posting here after death and I apologize for breaking that rule. Nonsense - the rules discriminating against zombies were ditched years ago. Oh, and I got “103” as my death age. ---
**Author:** ![Marion\_Wormer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d07c76/32.png) [@Marion\_Wormer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marion_Wormer)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2016, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-very-afraid/760926/47 "2016-07-27T01:11:00Z")
2052… I’ll be a hundred and one. It’s a bitch if I actually have to work until I die, ---
**Author:** ![Emtar\_KronJonDerSohn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/58956e/32.png) [@Emtar\_KronJonDerSohn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emtar_KronJonDerSohn)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2016, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-very-afraid/760926/48 "2016-07-27T01:22:37Z")
July 24th 2077? Sounds pretty tedious, to be honest. ---
**Author:** ![Personal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Personal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Personal)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2016, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-very-afraid/760926/49 "2016-07-27T01:31:15Z")
1. The year I’ve been predicting since I was a kid. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2016, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-very-afraid/760926/50 "2016-07-27T01:37:38Z")
> [@Enola\_Gay](#): > > I just got 98, was elated, but now am picturing myself in a diaper with shit for brains. > > Please god please let me be like Granny from the Beverly Hillbillies. Granny said her homemade pure lye soap was the secret to her youthful looks. Might wanna start looking at some how to videos on youtube. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2016, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-very-afraid/760926/51 "2016-07-27T02:03:41Z")
I died 5 years ago; I must be in Heaven because I have no trouble getting pizza or Tollhouse chocolate chip cookies. ---
**Author:** ![GaryM](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garym/32/241_2.png) [@GaryM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GaryM)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2016, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-very-afraid/760926/52 "2016-07-27T02:15:59Z")
December 2020 for me. At least I won’t have to shovel too much snow. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2016, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-very-afraid/760926/53 "2016-07-27T02:34:41Z")
Normal mode, 9 years. Optimistic, 22 years. Pessimistic, already dead. Now that I’m dead, I can finally make a living. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2016, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-very-afraid/760926/54 "2016-07-27T02:42:38Z")
> [@LouisB](#): > > I checked out the Death Clock yesterday just to see how much time I had left. > > The damn thing told me I had zero time remaining; my death date was March 19, 2011. > > I know there must be a rule about posting here after death and I apologize for breaking that rule. But what I am really afraid of is this: Will the people at the Death Clock send someone around to make sure that I am dead? Or will they just accept that I am a ghost? > > I don’t feel dead and I don’t feel like a ghost and no one has give me a copy of the Handbook for the recently deceased—what should I do? I need help. Dead man posting! Myself, I have until Saturday, April 5, 2031. Woo-hoo! ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2016, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-very-afraid/760926/55 "2016-07-27T04:07:00Z")
Day of Death: August 7, 2016. Shit! Only 863,830 seconds left to achieve my life’s dream of streaking across the infield during an Angels game! Also, [spoilered to not ruin anyone’s fun]: The clock actually gives you wildly different dates every time you click on it. My data gave me death dates from 2008 to 2035. Attitude (“mode”) makes a very large difference, with optimistic being best, and sadistic (surprisingly enough) being the worst. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2016, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-very-afraid/760926/56 "2016-07-27T05:51:02Z")
> [@buddha\_david](#): > > Day of Death: August 7, 2016. Shit! Only 863,830 seconds left to achieve my life’s dream of streaking across the infield during an Angels game! > > Also, [spoilered to not ruin anyone’s fun]: > > The clock actually gives you wildly different dates every time you click on it. My data gave me death dates from 2008 to 2035. Attitude (“mode”) makes a very large difference, with optimistic being best, and sadistic (surprisingly enough) being the worst. It has now given me the same date three times; I expect it to tell me to stop asking since I’m already dead. But I have learned something: In spite of being dead, life goes on. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2016, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-very-afraid/760926/57 "2016-07-28T19:43:25Z")
Dead, schmed - as long as you got your health. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![UncleRojelio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unclerojelio/32/3160_2.png) [@UncleRojelio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleRojelio)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2016, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-very-afraid/760926/58 "2016-07-28T19:49:26Z")
It says if I lose 50 lbs then I can add two years onto my lifespan. Meh. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2016, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-very-afraid/760926/59 "2016-07-28T21:59:54Z")
> [@LouisB](#): > > I checked out the Death Clock yesterday just to see how much time I had left. > > The damn thing told me I had zero time remaining; my death date was March 19, 2011. Those stupid bastards! They were told to wind the clock up, not You… ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2016, 7:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-very-afraid/760926/60 "2016-07-29T07:09:32Z")
> [@Joey\_P](#): > > talk with mouth in your food. Impossible except when eating tongue cold cuts, and I’m not even sure if the stores sell them anymore. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-very-afraid/760926.md?page=2)