# I Am Woman, Hear me go BRRRRAAAAPPPP... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 5, 2001, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-woman-hear-me-go-brrrraaaapppp/61001 "2001-04-05T23:57:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![tisiphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@tisiphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tisiphone)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2001, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-woman-hear-me-go-brrrraaaapppp/61001/21 "2001-04-06T05:22:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Whammo \* > \*\*OK!!! HAND over the chainsaw… these aint no things for no WIMMINS!!! > …silly wimmins…I mean, thats kinda cute and all but sheesh… Back to the kitchen honey. **pats your behind** \*\* BRRAAAAAAPPPPP!! Tisiphone uses her Stihl 045 to lop off the offending hand… ---
**Author:** ![Marvel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Marvel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marvel)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2001, 7:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-woman-hear-me-go-brrrraaaapppp/61001/22 "2001-04-06T07:50:29Z")
I was kinda hoping this was about women who belch like frat pledges. I can get a REAL good one out after a few sips of Dr. Pepper! When I do, my husband says, “How dainty.” As for farting, my mom-in-law used to light hers when she was in college. Patty P.S. I smell a Threadspotting nominee…! ---
**Author:** ![dlb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@dlb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dlb)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2001, 11:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-woman-hear-me-go-brrrraaaapppp/61001/23 "2001-04-06T11:06:18Z")
Then there was the day my wife got a cordless drill to put in some shelves. She put in a bit, drilled out the pre-measured holes, switched to a screwdriver bit, rammed in the screws, looked at me watching her complacently, assumed a James Bond pose and said, “I am Woman. See me screw.” We had fun that night. ---
**Author:** ![Ice\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@Ice\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ice_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2001, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-woman-hear-me-go-brrrraaaapppp/61001/24 "2001-04-06T11:21:52Z")
> [@](#): > > - Orig. by Whammo\* > **pats your behind** You want to pat a woman’s behind after a BRAAAAAP? Ewww! Wherever you may be, let your BRAAAAAAP blow free. ---
**Author:** ![KP235](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de0a6/32.png) [@KP235](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KP235)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2001, 11:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-woman-hear-me-go-brrrraaaapppp/61001/25 "2001-04-06T11:31:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tisiphone \* > \*\*BRRAAAAAAPPPPP!! Tisiphone uses her Stihl 045 to lop off the offending hand… > \*\* Ah, yes, **Stihl** , now there’s a _man’s_ chainsaw. Far superior to those wimpy Homelite’s they were talking about, those things are for _girls_. ::d&r:: ---
**Author:** ![Carina42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/439d5e/32.png) [@Carina42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carina42)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2001, 11:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-woman-hear-me-go-brrrraaaapppp/61001/26 "2001-04-06T11:38:00Z")
**pluto** hehe. I’m in trouble…I’m already lusting after a bigger blade. With a flame thrower attachment. And turbo charged, yeah. Can I upgrade the motor to a Chevy 350? Do the folks who make AK47s make chainsaws? It’s 5:30 am, & I’m eying the blue spruce across the street. I think it must go. Fucks up the feng shui around here. Hmm. Gotta go. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d26b3c/32.png) [@UncleBill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBill)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2001, 11:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-woman-hear-me-go-brrrraaaapppp/61001/27 "2001-04-06T11:45:02Z")
She’s gone! Somebody call somebody! Do something! If someone uses the excuse “Fucks up the feng shui around here”, there will be bad things happening all over the world! I hear Stalin used that excuse! ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2001, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-woman-hear-me-go-brrrraaaapppp/61001/28 "2001-04-06T12:07:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eutychus55 \* > \*\*Am I the only one who looked at this thread title and thought “Who farted?” \*\* Hehe. Me too, only I thought it was more of a belch. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2001, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-woman-hear-me-go-brrrraaaapppp/61001/29 "2001-04-06T12:39:30Z")
[sup]I thought it was a fart, too…[/sup] Be careful, **Carina**! Don’t, like, lop off a leg or sumthin’! And wear safety glasses! And have a “safety person” 2 or 3 hundred yards away with a cell phone pre-programmed to “911”! And don’t cut trees so that they tip back over on top of you! And remember that there have been[sup]\*[/sup] prominent scientists who have conjectured that an impact between a chainsaw blade and a _just so_ wood atom could spark an uncontrollable nuclear reaction! I’m happy that **Astrofiancee** has no affinity for tools, as I’d rather it be me that gets maimed than her (I whine better!)… [sup]\*[/sup]OK, so I made them up… but does that _REALLY_ make them any less real? C’mon now, does it? ---
**Author:** ![flodnak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/838e76/32.png) [@flodnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flodnak)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2001, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-woman-hear-me-go-brrrraaaapppp/61001/30 "2001-04-06T13:40:45Z")
So, if I **did** start a thread called **“I am woman, hear me burp!”** , how long do you think it would take before one of the mods came along and busted my head? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2001, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-woman-hear-me-go-brrrraaaapppp/61001/31 "2001-04-06T13:56:30Z")
Just wanted to say, **I love this thread**! :D:D:D ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2001, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-woman-hear-me-go-brrrraaaapppp/61001/32 "2001-04-06T14:07:24Z")
It all started with an electric screwdriver… I loves my power tools! You go, **Carina**! ---
**Author:** ![BunnyGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@BunnyGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BunnyGirl)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2001, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-woman-hear-me-go-brrrraaaapppp/61001/33 "2001-04-06T16:43:18Z")
Sisters, UNITE! Hubby got a Sears gift certificate one year for Xmas. Didn’t need anything. Gave it to me. Guess what I got? . . . . . . . . . . A circular saw. Nice little Craftsman. I have **chainsaw** envy! Is that somehow Freudian? ---
**Author:** ![AnnaLucretia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e95f7d/32.png) [@AnnaLucretia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnnaLucretia)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2001, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-woman-hear-me-go-brrrraaaapppp/61001/34 "2001-04-06T17:01:08Z")
I had 2 chainsaws growing up - a Stihl for little stuff, and a Husqevarna for big old maples. But that’s not the fun part… Once the tree was cut down and to length, it had to be split…and Dad thought hydraulic splitters were “dangerous”. So we ended up with the Spike of Death, attached in lieu of a rear tire and run by the truck motor - back end jacked off the ground and a 15-pound sledge hammer on the accelerator pedal until the speedometer read 70. Then you push a big piece of wood onto this device (looks like a giant screw), and the threads pull it on, splitting the wood. Simple, right? Yeah, until you forget to wedge the bottom of the giant log you’re splitting and you end up with a 100 lb. block of maple spinning at 70 mph on the end of a long spike…between you and the sledge on the accelerator. Broke 2 windows in the house that way. Turned the whole thing around, broke the garage door into the barn. Oh, and that spike gets HOT. ---
**Author:** ![tisiphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@tisiphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tisiphone)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2001, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-woman-hear-me-go-brrrraaaapppp/61001/35 "2001-04-06T17:17:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by KP235 \* > > Ah, yes, **Stihl** , now there’s a _man’s_ chainsaw. Far superior to those wimpy Homelite’s they were talking about, those things are for _girls_. > > \*\* Yeah, and when they get past twelve, they get a Stihl. Unless, of course, you’re only clearing brush. Homelites work for that, sorta… ---
**Author:** ![Gunslinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gunslinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gunslinger)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2001, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-woman-hear-me-go-brrrraaaapppp/61001/36 "2001-04-06T19:14:00Z")
I want a Hot Saw. Those are the ones you see in the televised lumberjacking contests…36" bar, small dirtbike engine…😃 ---
**Author:** ![tradesilicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/439d5e/32.png) [@tradesilicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tradesilicon)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2001, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-woman-hear-me-go-brrrraaaapppp/61001/37 "2001-04-06T19:38:15Z")
[Tim Allen] Heh, I’ve got tools to fix tools! [/Tim Allen] Dang, Carina, you’ve put me in a mood for light construction! Where’s that damn pile of 2x4s I had left over… ::farts, burps, reaches for next beer:: Matbe later. ---
**Author:** ![RalfCoder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@RalfCoder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RalfCoder)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2001, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-woman-hear-me-go-brrrraaaapppp/61001/38 "2001-04-06T20:59:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Carina42 \* > \*\*What IS it with men and body functions? \*\* It’s what we’re good at. Our fathers taught us how to do it, as did their fathers before them, and we will teach our sons. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Tyklfe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3e96dc/32.png) [@Tyklfe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tyklfe)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2001, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-woman-hear-me-go-brrrraaaapppp/61001/39 "2001-04-06T23:53:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Saint Zero \* > \*\*Heck, I thought she was burping on first reading the OP. \*\* Right there with ya Zero > [@](#): > > _Regally stated by Carina42_ > \*\*OK, I burp, I fart, I like power tools. I paint my toenails, spend a lot of $$ on fancy facial creams & cute shoes, too. > > What IS it with men and body functions? > So, uh…what brand of chainsaw do you like best? And, why? > > I’m going to waddle off & fart now. 'Scuse me… \*\* Women who Burp, fart and use chainsaws? Good god, where have you been all my life? ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2001, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-woman-hear-me-go-brrrraaaapppp/61001/40 "2001-04-07T01:12:46Z")
dlb I liked that one, very witty wife. Does she have a sister? Do you go to Sears, and think what tool will get me the best sex, or bang for the buck? Carina42 I didn’t open this thread for a long time, because I thought it was a burping thread. I think you should have went for “I Am Woman, Hear That Roar” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-woman-hear-me-go-brrrraaaapppp/61001.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-woman-hear-me-go-brrrraaaapppp/61001.md?page=3)