# I am worried about my son's sexual orientation - need advice **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 22, 2010, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-worried-about-my-sons-sexual-orientation-need-advice/565095 "2010-12-22T18:51:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Death\_of\_Rats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a6a055/32.png) [@Death\_of\_Rats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Death_of_Rats)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2010, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-worried-about-my-sons-sexual-orientation-need-advice/565095/21 "2010-12-22T20:21:26Z")
> [@Giles](#): > > But be grateful that he’s not marrying the pepper and salt: that would be really unhealthy. That marriage would always have some spice in it. hey, at least it wan’t another cheese pun. ---
**Author:** ![Walmarticus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Walmarticus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walmarticus)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2010, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-worried-about-my-sons-sexual-orientation-need-advice/565095/22 "2010-12-22T20:27:29Z")
Ugh, our morals just decay fromage to age. Not even a year old, and they havarti been corrupted. In quesillo are beating yourself up, remember it’s nacho fault as much as it is our society minas God. ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2010, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-worried-about-my-sons-sexual-orientation-need-advice/565095/23 "2010-12-22T20:27:50Z")
You know, when one cheese gets the hots for another, it can sometimes lead to fondue. ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2010, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-worried-about-my-sons-sexual-orientation-need-advice/565095/24 "2010-12-22T20:34:00Z")
He’s young yet – all this talk and worry about your son’s orientation is idle Cheddar. ---
**Author:** ![yanceylebeef](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yanceylebeef/32/12290_2.png) [@yanceylebeef](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yanceylebeef)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2010, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-worried-about-my-sons-sexual-orientation-need-advice/565095/25 "2010-12-22T20:34:15Z")
C’mon now, even the bible says “What a friend we have in Cheeses.” ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2010, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-worried-about-my-sons-sexual-orientation-need-advice/565095/26 "2010-12-22T21:09:10Z")
> [@Giles](#): > > Sadly, polygamy involving several kinds of cheese is very common at that age. I blame television myself. Under no circumstances should you let him get involved with any “four cheese macaroni” dishes. These kind of cheese orgies just lead to terrible things like reading XKCD and watching _Monty Python’s Flying Circus_. > [@Unintentionally\_Blank](#): > > That’s okay, my 8 year old twins were watching Rachael Ray’s show yesterday. Christina Hendricks was doing a cooking segment. Twin one says “Hey, She’s tall”, and the other says “Yeah, and she has a Good Chest, too.” > > I’ve never been prouder. As you should be. As you should be. Stranger ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2010, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-worried-about-my-sons-sexual-orientation-need-advice/565095/27 "2010-12-22T21:09:45Z")
> [@Slithy\_Tove](#): > > At least he’s made an honest cheese of it by marrying it and not just rennet. Just as long as he’s not married by some Stinking Bishop. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2010, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-worried-about-my-sons-sexual-orientation-need-advice/565095/28 "2010-12-22T21:15:05Z")
> [@yanceylebeef](#): > > C’mon now, even the bible says “What a friend we have in Cheeses.” Not to mention, “Blessed are the cheesemakers.” ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2010, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-worried-about-my-sons-sexual-orientation-need-advice/565095/29 "2010-12-22T21:23:22Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > Well, that’s ok. Enjoy the holidays. We Swiss you a Merry Christmas. And a happy bleu year! ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2010, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-worried-about-my-sons-sexual-orientation-need-advice/565095/30 "2010-12-22T21:24:12Z")
It’s not really appropriate to be flippant about the OP. The poor disturbed child not only chose to “marry” parmesan over romano, the sick little bastard doesn’t even know what the romano is. My God, “the other cheese,” what kind of home is the poor little tot living in? I blame the parents. ---
**Author:** ![Ann\_Onimous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ea5d25/32.png) [@Ann\_Onimous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Onimous)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2010, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-worried-about-my-sons-sexual-orientation-need-advice/565095/31 "2010-12-22T21:34:39Z")
> [@Wheelz](#): > > I Camembert any more of these cheese puns. Who needs a teddy bear when you have a camembert? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2010, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-worried-about-my-sons-sexual-orientation-need-advice/565095/32 "2010-12-22T21:41:25Z")
> [@Ferret\_Herder](#): > > Not to mention, “Blessed are the cheesemakers.” Actually, I believe that verse was not to be taken literally as it can refer to any manufacturer of dairy products. ---
**Author:** ![Dolly\_Madison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3be4f8/32.png) [@Dolly\_Madison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dolly_Madison)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2010, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-worried-about-my-sons-sexual-orientation-need-advice/565095/33 "2010-12-22T22:14:14Z")
He sounds like a Pastafarian in the making! ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2010, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-worried-about-my-sons-sexual-orientation-need-advice/565095/34 "2010-12-22T22:21:48Z")
> [@Arnold\_Winkelried](#): > > And what is the meaning of him taking his wife and making her kiss another person she’s not married to? Is he planning on being one of those “swingers” I’ve heard about? My kids love those swing cheese sticks we put in their lunch. ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2010, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-worried-about-my-sons-sexual-orientation-need-advice/565095/35 "2010-12-22T22:32:44Z")
Thank you all for your “helpful” advice. I feel worse now than I did when I started the thread. 😛 I have another, more pressing crisis to deal with anyway. My wife had told me a couple of weeks ago “if you get me that new refrigerator we want for Christmas, I don’t need any other present.” (I’m not convinced that we need a new refrigerator: it’s only 23 years old, if you open the door slowly, the things don’t fall off the inside door shelf, and if it’s too much a problem I’ll put more duct tape on the bar that’s supposed to keep things from falling; also, you just have to remember to push the door extra hard so that it stays closed - don’t swing it shut and expect it to stay shut.) Last night she said to the boys “boys, did you look at the presents under the tree? Did you notice that someone here didn’t have anything with their name on it?” :smack: Logic would have implied that that she shouldn’t have anything under the tree with her name on it, right, seeing as how _there’s no way a refrigerator can fit under there!_ I told her that one of these days, we’ll go buy a new refrigerator. Isn’t that enough? I appeal to all married people out there to confirm that I am correct. ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2010, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-worried-about-my-sons-sexual-orientation-need-advice/565095/36 "2010-12-22T22:38:28Z")
There was a kid from Monterey, Colby, in my 11th grade geometry class that confessed his cheese affections to his parents. They came down so hard on him, calling him a muenster, that he became depressed (oh so bleu) and withdrawn. We’d do formal geometry arguments as a group, but he always wanted to…wait for it…provalone. He liked physics better anyway. Today, he’s studying…string theory? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2010, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-worried-about-my-sons-sexual-orientation-need-advice/565095/37 "2010-12-22T22:52:47Z")
> [@Arnold\_Winkelried](#): > > Logic would have implied that that she shouldn’t have anything under the tree with her name on it, right, seeing as how _there’s no way a refrigerator can fit under there!_ I told her that one of these days, we’ll go buy a new refrigerator. Isn’t that enough? I appeal to all married people out there to confirm that I am correct. Dude, logic has nothing to do with male-female dynamics. If you ever want access to her fun parts again, go get a refrigerator, and get something to wrap up for her from you AND something from the kids, and put it the hell under the tree. ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2010, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-worried-about-my-sons-sexual-orientation-need-advice/565095/38 "2010-12-22T22:58:01Z")
How about an envelope with some cash in it, and a little note that says “buy yourself something nice” ? ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2010, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-worried-about-my-sons-sexual-orientation-need-advice/565095/39 "2010-12-22T23:02:07Z")
Anybody here ever have a fromage a trois? ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2010, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-worried-about-my-sons-sexual-orientation-need-advice/565095/40 "2010-12-22T23:34:22Z")
No, but I once had a rare bit on the side. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-worried-about-my-sons-sexual-orientation-need-advice/565095.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-worried-about-my-sons-sexual-orientation-need-advice/565095.md?page=3)