# I am your better. Do as I say. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 27, 2010, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-better-do-as-i-say/548184 "2010-07-27T14:31:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2010, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-better-do-as-i-say/548184/61 "2010-07-27T18:05:54Z")
> [@Chessic Sense](#): > > Did you not notice all the comments where they call the blogger a tool and whatnot? Everybody’s calling \*you \*a tool and you don’t seem to think that makes it so. ---
**Author:** ![villa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/bc79bd/32.png) [@villa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/villa)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2010, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-better-do-as-i-say/548184/62 "2010-07-27T18:06:55Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > Oh yeah, that’s a good point… > > Wait, no. It’s stupid. Because I DIDN’T get on at Vienna or Shady Grove or Frac-Spring. And I didn’t take it the entire track. I end up paying the same price as I would have anyway. It makes absolutely no difference, money-wise, if I swipe in at my start station or the end station. And Metro know this how? Because you tell them? Because you are white and wouldn’t lie? So Jamal, working hard at the kiosk at your destination, let’s call it Metro Center, is expected to divine somehow that you got on at Dupont Circle, not at Vienna? It only makes no difference if you were on a short enough trip for minimum fare. And without you swiping when you get on, Metro doesn’t know that. ---
**Author:** ![Ravenman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ravenman/32/2929_2.png) [@Ravenman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ravenman)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2010, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-better-do-as-i-say/548184/63 "2010-07-27T18:12:23Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > And I’m not a fucking intern. Shut up and go back to filing and xeroxing. ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2010, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-better-do-as-i-say/548184/64 "2010-07-27T18:13:22Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > Again, I didn’t fare jump. My method of paying for it was just…backward. Had I fare-jumped, I wouldn’t have had the conversation in the first place. As others have already said, you did fare jump. Just suck it up and accept the consequences of your actions. ---
**Author:** ![Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/half_man_half_wit/32/21766_2.png) [@Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Half_Man_Half_Wit)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2010, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-better-do-as-i-say/548184/65 "2010-07-27T18:18:05Z")
> [@Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](#): > > Hmm. Is there a name for sentences that, upon being uttered, immediately establish the truth of their negation, like ‘I am your better’? > [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > So far, I think I’m winning. There’s another! ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2010, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-better-do-as-i-say/548184/66 "2010-07-27T18:18:46Z")
> [@Telemark](#): > > > [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > > > Again, I didn’t fare jump. My method of paying for it was just…backward. Had I fare-jumped, I wouldn’t have had the conversation in the first place. > > As others have already said, you did fare jump. Just suck it up and accept the consequences of your actions. There weren’t any consequences of his actions. He got an annoyed lecture from Metro Jamal, who then did exactly what Chessic Sense wanted him to do…let him go out, swipe his card to go in and then out again. He’s just mad that Jamal lectured him for breaking the rules. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Scud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f08c70/32.png) [@Tom\_Scud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Scud)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2010, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-better-do-as-i-say/548184/67 "2010-07-27T18:25:19Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > **villa** , does the DC system charge you by how far you go so that you pay after you exit? Just curious–I’m in New York so it’s the same fare no matter where you go. In that case it seems like the OP really did scam the system. Yes. It’s totally stupid. ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2010, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-better-do-as-i-say/548184/68 "2010-07-27T18:27:14Z")
[QUOTE=DianaG;12732776Everybody’s calling \*you \*a tool and you don’t seem to think that makes it so.[/QUOTE] Give it time. **Rand Rover** will show up eventually. He’ll understand why I’m better than Metro employees. > [@villa](#): > > And Metro know this how? Because you tell them? Because you are white and wouldn’t lie? > > So Jamal, working hard at the kiosk at your destination, let’s call it Metro Center, is expected to divine somehow that you got on at Dupont Circle, not at Vienna? > > It only makes no difference if you were on a short enough trip for minimum fare. And without you swiping when you get on, Metro doesn’t know that. You think I give a shit if Metro knows it or not? If I were trying to scam anybody, I would have just jumped the gate leading out. He should believe me because I’m approaching him in the first place, offering up front to pay for my ride. Besides, what’s the difference in the fare? 40 cents, maybe? It’s like the rules say “Give us 6” and I’m like “Here’s half a dozen” and the alarms and sirens go off. ---
**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2010, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-better-do-as-i-say/548184/69 "2010-07-27T18:29:25Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > I insert my paper ticket and it says I don’t have enough money left. Just $1.10 instead of the minimum $1.20 or whatever. > [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > It’s more like if you eat at McDonald’s and try to pay with your credit card but the machine’s broken. So you tell the guy “Oh, I don’t have any cash. Let me run across the street to the bank and I’ll be right back” and then this 16 yr old kid starts lecturing you and condescending you about how you should always carry cash and how you’re wrong for coming in to McD’s without the proper currency. It sounds more like if you go to McDonald’s and try to pay for a $6.00 meal with your debit card, but there’s only $4.00 in your account, so the card doesn’t work because there’s _not enough money on it_, not because the machine is broken. But you’re so big and important and in such a hurry that you figure it’s OK to just grab the food and run out the door, because it’s clearly McDonald’s fault that you didn’t know how much you had on the card, so surely they’ll be fine with you getting your lunch now but maybe coming back and paying them later, and if the cashier should dare tell you that you shouldn’t steal food, he can just go fuck himself because you take better care of yourself than he does. And he’s probably racist. ---
**Author:** ![Ravenman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ravenman/32/2929_2.png) [@Ravenman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ravenman)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2010, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-better-do-as-i-say/548184/70 "2010-07-27T18:30:41Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > Give it time. **Rand Rover** will show up eventually. He’ll understand why I’m better than Metro employees. Doesn’t your boss need some press clips? Stop fucking around on the job or you won’t get college credit. ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2010, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-better-do-as-i-say/548184/71 "2010-07-27T18:34:40Z")
> [@Captain\_Amazing](#): > > He’s just mad that Jamal lectured him for breaking the rules. …and that he called me a liar with scant evidence of it. “There are no machines down in [start]”? Seriously? I was just there! Were you? No, didn’t think so. And that the system is so fucked up to begin with. I didn’t even tell you guys about the broken exit machine at the bottom of the escalators (so you can get out via elevator). Good thing I wasn’t in a wheel chair or I’d be stuck even if I did things the right way. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2010, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-better-do-as-i-say/548184/72 "2010-07-27T18:36:05Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > You think I give a shit if Metro knows it or not? I find your expectation that we or Jamal or the Metro should give a shit about what you do or not give a shit about amusing. Honestly, it’s not as though the world is chock full of \*less \*important people than you. By definition dear, if you’re riding the Metro to work, you are profoundly unimportant. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2010, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-better-do-as-i-say/548184/73 "2010-07-27T18:39:36Z")
> [@DianaG](#): > > Honestly, it’s not as though the world is chock full of \*less \*important people than you. By definition dear, if you’re riding the Metro to work, you are profoundly unimportant. Maybe he has a private car. Or not. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2010, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-better-do-as-i-say/548184/74 "2010-07-27T18:40:58Z")
He can’t even get his work to pay for his Metro pass! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![villa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/bc79bd/32.png) [@villa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/villa)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2010, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-better-do-as-i-say/548184/75 "2010-07-27T18:48:55Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > > [@villa](#): > > > > And Metro know this how? Because you tell them? Because you are white and wouldn’t lie? > > > > So Jamal, working hard at the kiosk at your destination, let’s call it Metro Center, is expected to divine somehow that you got on at Dupont Circle, not at Vienna? > > > > It only makes no difference if you were on a short enough trip for minimum fare. And without you swiping when you get on, Metro doesn’t know that. > > You think I give a shit if Metro knows it or not? If I were trying to scam anybody, I would have just jumped the gate leading out. He should believe me because I’m approaching him in the first place, offering up front to pay for my ride. Besides, what’s the difference in the fare? 40 cents, maybe? It’s like the rules say “Give us 6” and I’m like “Here’s half a dozen” and the alarms and sirens go off. You aren’t the sharpest knife in the drawer, are you? Metro has a rule. You swipe a card when you enter the station, and when you leave the station. That way Metro can tell how much to charge you. Instead, you seem to think there should be an honor system. It’s amazing how arrogant you are as to think that you can determine that the 40 cents is not important. I am sure you would think the same thing if Jamal was allowing young black people to go through for 40 cents less each time. So tell me - how is Jamal meant to know which of these two situations occured? 1. **Chessic** gets up, walks to mass, takes communion, walks to the Metro, discovers the machine to add money to his card is not working, considers the sin involved in the situation, prays for forgiveness, enters through the turnstyle without swiping his card, rides the train from Dupont Circle to Metro Center, and seeks to pay at the other end. Metro lost revenue - zero. 2. **Chessic** goes on an all night speedball bender, and wakes up in a seedy motel in Shady Grove. Glancing over, he sees he has soiled his White Power Ranger costume, and that the Thai ladyboi he has paid to sodomize him bareback is currently demanding payment. Unfortunately, **Chessic** has miscalculated the cost of his perversions, not realizing that his desire for the aforementioned ladyboi to use racially degrading language to him would increase the price. Fearing the publicity of refusal to pay would jeopardize his job at Focus on the Family, **Chessic** gives the ladyboi all his cash, pleading that he will make up the difference when he returns for more self-loathing sex in a matter of days. **Chessic** arrives at the Metro, and realizes if he pays the full fare from Shady Grove, he will not be able to afford the bottle of Mad Dog to get himself through to the end of the day. So he jumps the turnstile, rides to Metro Center, and informs Jamal the machines were broken at Dupont Circle. Metro lost revenue - $3.05 Can you give me one good reason Jamal should believe the first story not the second? ---
**Author:** ![crowmanyclouds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crowmanyclouds/32/19884_2.png) [@crowmanyclouds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crowmanyclouds)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2010, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-better-do-as-i-say/548184/76 "2010-07-27T18:50:00Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > > [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > > > First of all, I know his name was Jamal because it was on his shirt. Secondly, I don’t know that he was necessarily racist, but a lot of them are. > > How many Jamals do you know that you can so comfortably generalize?:dubious: Ahh, the “them” is Jamals. :smack: I was thinking something completely different. Thanks for clearing that up for me! > [@Smeghead](#): > > Maybe he meant shirt-wearers. Now I’m confused again. CMC fnord! > [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > … Train pulls into the station, so I say “screw it” and tailgate someone through the entry gate. … I evaded the fare … > [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > … Again, I didn’t fare jump. My method of paying for it was just…backward. … Ya know, fare jumping doesn’t actually require you to, ya know, literally jump. “I didn’t rob the bank your Honor, I just made an unauthorized withdrawal … at gunpoint” > [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > … So far, I think I’m winning. … Nope, see that post that **Wheelz** made, that’s what winning looks like. You need some practice on this whole _thinking_ thing. ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2010, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-better-do-as-i-say/548184/77 "2010-07-27T19:00:03Z")
> [@DianaG](#): > > He can’t even get his work to pay for his Metro pass! 😛 Well, actually… > [@villa](#): > > So tell me - how is Jamal meant to know which of these two situations occured? Because situation #2 wouldn’t happen. What _that_ **Chessic Sense** would do would be to just jump the exit gate and not pay anything at all. So it’s highly likely that someone honest enough to approach you to pay would be honest enough to pay the correct amount. And I like the Yellow Power Ranger best, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2010, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-better-do-as-i-say/548184/78 "2010-07-27T19:02:09Z")
So you mean they’re supposed to pay for your Metro pass and they forgot you? Yeah, you’re a master of the universe, dude. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2010, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-better-do-as-i-say/548184/79 "2010-07-27T19:04:11Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > This one time an ATM ate my debit card, so there were those few days I when I had to rely on cash while waiting on my card. In order to get cash, though, I had to go into a branch, so I was all, “Fuck this. I don’t want to wait in line with those fucking chumps.” I just walked into stores and demanded they gave me stuff. “Cut out the lip, toots,” I would say, “I need things now, and I’m not about to wait in any lines or give you a card with any money on it like some two-bit chump.” Bitch shut up and just gave me what I asked for, due to my massive she-penis. I’m going to write this down on a 3x5 card and carry it around with me. Except I’ll change the “she-penis” to “he-penis” because I am a dude and as a dude I have a he-penis. Also someone should start a campaign to bring “toots” back into popular vernacular because “bitch” is so common it has lost some of it’s degrading insultiness. ---
**Author:** ![Hawkeyeop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/958977/32.png) [@Hawkeyeop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hawkeyeop)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2010, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-better-do-as-i-say/548184/80 "2010-07-27T19:04:27Z")
Maybe you could ask some nice tourists how to work the fare machine. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-better-do-as-i-say/548184.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-better-do-as-i-say/548184.md?page=5)