I am your better. Do as I say.

[Spice_Weasel]

@pedescribe

@Chessic_Sense

…“Damn that other one! I want to be as successful as he is! But I’m not…:(:(:(”

That’s what PTJMEE does, at least in my imagination.

This is the second-most depressing thing I’ve read on this message board.

All right, I have to know. What is the most depressing thing?

[Guinastasia]

@Chessic_Sense

@Mr.Excellent

@Chessic_Sense

He couldn’t possibly have a hotter girlfriend than I do. There’s only one possible person that could. If my girlfriend was separated at birth from a twin we don’t know about, it would be her boyfriend.

Erm. Wouldn’t that man only have a girlfriend who was as hot as your own? Unless we’re talking fraternal twins, rather than identical - in which case, the separated-at-birth twin may well be hotter than your GF, but would have no better odds of such than anyone else in the population. And for that matter, the separated-at-birth fraternal twin may well be a brother.

No, no. If my GF had a twin, then the boyfriend COULD have a hotter girlfriend. Or an uglier one or an equal one. But in order to even have a shot, you’ve got to date her twin.

And if her boyfriend turns out to be Jamal?

[InterestedObserver]

OMG, I demand a photo of this Chessic guy! Only ONE other man on the PLANET could possibly have a GF as “hot” as his…and THAT man is a twin of his GF? Damn, he MUST be some HOT shit! :eek:

Please. How old are you, Chessic? Better get off the computer before mommy and daddy get home. :rolleyes:

[j666]

@Chessic_Sense

@Damuri_Ajashi

Yeah rich people never stole a thing

Wow. I even predicted that someone would say that, and gave you my response, yet you still said it anyway.

But you never explained why random metro workers should assume you do not steal, other than that you wear a tie and not a fanny pack.

@Chessic_Sense

@Damuri_Ajashi

LOL, so your measure of a man is how much he makes?

That’s one of them, yes. Life is a game. The higher your “score”, the better you are. One way to score points is to make a lot of money. Of course, there’s still fame, sex, power, and a bunch of other things that go into the calculation.

Would one of those other things be respect? I think a lot of us think respect is very important, and you don’t seem to give or inspire it.

Moreover, some of us thing life is more of a team sport.

You really are a very small, petty, and piggish person. I don’t even think you are much of a racist, because you seem to have no respect for any one - tourists, persons of color, workers …

Even if you are as successful and intelligent as you seem to think, you are a net loss to your society because of your poisonous attitude.

Even if this is a whoosh or experiment for your paper in sociology or psychology 101, you are a net loss.

You’re poison.

[Freudian_Slit]

@Chessic_Sense

@Freudian_Slit

What play is this? All I get when I google is this thread.

You’ve probably never heard of it. It’s Neighborhood 3: Requisition of Doom. It’s only been performed, like, 5 times ever. It’s got an element of Keeping Up With the Jones to it that fits this discussion. The adults compete with their neighbors while the kids play Neighborhood 3, a WoW-type game. The relationships between the two groups becomes stressed as they both “try to get to the next…level. Try to get to the…top.”

It’s a bit odd that you like a play so much that sounds like a satirical take on the values you hold so dear.

[11811]

@Half_Man_Half_Wit

Hmm. Is there a name for sentences that, upon being uttered, immediately establish the truth of their negation, like ‘I am your better’?

Well, the experience you get when hearing such a sentence might be called the Chessic Sensation.

[SteveG1]

@Chessic_Sense

Every day, I take the DC metro train to and from work. For those outsiders, the Metro system isn’t known for its, let’s say, “competence”. There are two ways to pay for the trip- either a paper fare card that you insert into the gate or a RFID card that connects to an online account. Most people use the latter SmarTrip card for various reasons. Well, mine quit working. It wouldn’t read at any of the gates.

So I had to mail it in for a replacement. It’s supposed to take 3-5 business days to get a new one. It’s been 7 so far. So I’m still using paper cards.

I go to get on the train today and find that it’ll arrive in 2 minutes. The next one isn’t even on the board yet, so it’ll be at least 15. I insert my paper ticket and it says I don’t have enough money left. Just $1.10 instead of the minimum $1.20 or whatever.

I run back to the ticket machines. First one- doesn’t accept bills. Second one- fare card slot isn’t working. Third one- says “out of service” which ironically makes it the best working one there. Fourth machine, the greatest malady of all- a flock of tourists. We’re talking 30 or 40 people all trying to use the same machine.

Train pulls into the station, so I say “screw it” and tailgate someone through the entry gate. I run to the escalators but, of course, there are tourists standing on the wrong side, blocking the walkers. I curtly say “excuse me”, surprised that I could curtail my rage enough to still use polite words, and barely hop on the train, whose doors still manage to smash me as I enter as if to say “fuck you again.”

Now so far it’s been machines and clueless people that have pissed me off. But then I encounter Power Trip Jamal, Metro Employee Extraordinaire (PTJMEE). I approach him.

Me - “Excuse me, sir (yes I did say that), the entry gates didn’t take my ticket.”
PTJMEE - “Didn’t take it? You came in with a bad card.” ::snatches my card::
Me - “No, no, it just doesn’t have enough money on it.”
PTJMEE - “Ah ha! How you get on the train then, hmm?!”
Me - “The machines weren’t working in [starting station].”
PTJMEE - “Ain’t none of the machines broken [there]. I’ve had people come through all day from there and non’a them be saying the machine’s broken.”
Me - * There are a million explanations for that, dolt.*
Me - “Yu huh, one’s not taking bills, one’s out of ser-”
PTJMEE - “What you did is called ‘fare evasion’.”
Me - No shit. That’s why I’m here now.
Me - “I just need to put more money on the card(, so let me through the gate).”
PTJMEE - “You needed to see the station manager at [start], not do this here. Go put your money in and come back.”

So I do that, enter the gate, exit the gate, and leave. But PTJMEE, fuck you and your lecture. Do I have a fanny pack and a bottle of water? No. Do I have a suitcase and a map, standing around looking lost? No. Am I wearing slacks and a tie? Yes. I’M NOT A FUCKING TOURIST. Yes, I evaded the fare…because your fucking machines don’t work, as usual. And don’t call me a liar when I tell you so because you know fucking well that those things are pieces of shit. You know your system thinks it does a good job when it goes a week without killing somebody. Here I am, trying to correct the situation and you’re reading me the riot act from your pedestal of moral superiority.

Listen carefully. I’m smarter than you, better at my job, and take care of myself better than you do. In other words, I am superior to you. So next time when I tell you I need to put money on the card, you say “OK” and let me do my thing. I don’t need to get in a pissing contest over $1.85 with you. I’m not some hood rat that’s trying to get out of paying for my ride. I’m just a guy on his way to work, trying to work with your fucked up system.

So again, fuck you, your machines, Metro, and all your racist, nose picking, sleeping-on-duty, GED-sporting, power-tripping coworkers.

Next week, I’m taking the helicopter.

In NY, we used to just jump the turnstiles. And dare anyone to say something.

[Rigamarole]

@SteveG1

In NY, we used to just jump the turnstiles. And dare anyone to say something.

I don’t think it’s “anyone” you need to be worried about. If there’s a police officer around who sees you do it, I promise he’ll do more than just say something.

-Rigamarole
Busted for fare evasion once at age 18

[Count_Blucher]

@11811

@Half_Man_Half_Wit

Hmm. Is there a name for sentences that, upon being uttered, immediately establish the truth of their negation, like ‘I am your better’?

Well, the experience you get when hearing such a sentence might be called the Chessic Sensation.

Q: could that be artificially created by arranging that when Chessic Sense enters his Metro card, all the speakers in the train station simultaneously broadcast

"Lord Deimos Wiiiins!!!"

[SteveG1]

@Rigamarole

@SteveG1

In NY, we used to just jump the turnstiles. And dare anyone to say something.

I don’t think it’s “anyone” you need to be worried about. If there’s a police officer around who sees you do it, I promise he’ll do more than just say something.

-Rigamarole
Busted for fare evasion once at age 18

We looked out for them, and I myself always let someone else go first. I wasn’t doing it out of politeness, that poor sucker was bait

[gladtobeblazed]

@Chessic_Sense

That’s one of them, yes. Life is a game. The higher your “score”, the better you are. One way to score points is to make a lot of money. Of course, there’s still fame, sex, power, and a bunch of other things that go into the calculation.

So what happens if I murder you? Do I then acquire your points to add to my own? After all, I did defeat you, so it would make sense that I would end up with a higher score than you.

[cosmosdan]

Originally Posted by **Chessic Sense **
That’s one of them, yes. Life is a game. The higher your “score”, the better you are. One way to score points is to make a lot of money. Of course, there’s still fame, sex, power, and a bunch of other things that go into the calculation.

Does being an entitled prick count as plus of minus points?

[Pixiesnix]

@gladtobeblazed

So what happens if I murder you? Do I then acquire your points to add to my own? After all, I did defeat you, so it would make sense that I would end up with a higher score than you.

Only if you eat his heart. By doing that, you gain his strength, his courage, and his points.

[DragonAsh]

Please, please tell me this is a whoosh? Please?

Chessic Sense, if you really believe that life boils down to measuring yourself against others based on money, cars, and girlfriend/wife ‘hotness’, I have two things for you.

1. Life is a game only to the poor, sorry pathetic little people not smart enough to realize they don’t have to play.

2. <stealth-brag alert> I suspect I make more money than you. I know my wife is hotter. According to your metrics, I therefore am your better. Do as I say and STFU. </SBA>

[Half_Man_Half_Wit]

@11811

@Half_Man_Half_Wit

Hmm. Is there a name for sentences that, upon being uttered, immediately establish the truth of their negation, like ‘I am your better’?

Well, the experience you get when hearing such a sentence might be called the Chessic Sensation.

Perhaps we should just go ahead and call them Chessic Sentences.

[wonky]

@Pixiesnix

Only if you eat his heart. By doing that, you gain his strength, his courage, and his points.

On the plus side, it would be a very small meal.

On the minus side, eww.

[Zeriel]

I’m better than the op because I don’t get my panties in a twist about broken/crowded machines on the Metro. While his blood pressure is skyrocketing at Jamal, I’m politely standing in line, grooving out to my headphones, and feeling goooood.

Or at least, that’s how I act when I’m a tourist in DC.

[MeanOldLady]

@DragonAsh

2. <stealth-brag alert> I suspect I make more money than you. I know my wife is hotter. According to your metrics, I therefore am your better. Do as I say and STFU. </SBA>

Sneak brag! *Sneak *brag! You will use the proper terminology.

[Fuji]

If this whole Chessic thread isn’t a deliberate whoosh (and I doubt it is, because his persona is fairly consistent), then the dude is practically a textbook narcissist.

Originally Posted by Wikipedia

In order for a person to be diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) they must meet five or more of the following symptoms:

* Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)

* **Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love**

* Believes that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)

* Requires excessive admiration

* **Has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations**

* Is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends

* **Lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others**

* **Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her**

* **Shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes**

The ones I bolded are just the traits that he’s evinced in this thread.

Then again - what do I know? I’m clearly his inferior. I have no hot wife.

[DragonAsh]

@MeanOldLady

@DragonAsh

2. <stealth-brag alert> I suspect I make more money than you. I know my wife is hotter. According to your metrics, I therefore am your better. Do as I say and STFU. </SBA>

Sneak brag! *Sneak *brag! You will use the proper terminology.

Bah, sneak brag is for the inferior classes. The handsome, impossibly cool and intellectual crowd uses stealth brag. But feel free to use sneak brag if you like going ghetto.