# I am your king; you must come and pay homage **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 30, 2019, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-king-you-must-come-and-pay-homage/831739 "2019-03-30T01:40:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2019, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-king-you-must-come-and-pay-homage/831739/1 "2019-03-30T01:40:11Z")
I’ve decided that I am your king. Those who pay homage to me will earn my royal favor; those who do not will earn my wrath. Think carefully on it. The favor of the king can be a powerful asset. I may even make you one of my ministers, or, if you’re very lucky, my vizier. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2019, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-king-you-must-come-and-pay-homage/831739/2 "2019-03-30T01:43:32Z")
Hi, King 4-Eyes! ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2019, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-king-you-must-come-and-pay-homage/831739/3 "2019-03-30T01:45:13Z")
Sorry, we have a Queen and I’ve already sworn allegiance to her. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2019, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-king-you-must-come-and-pay-homage/831739/4 "2019-03-30T02:00:24Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > I’ve decided that I am your king. Those who pay homage to me will earn my royal favor; those who do not will earn my wrath. > > Think carefully on it. The favor of the king can be a powerful asset. I may even make you one of my ministers, or, if you’re very lucky, my vizier. All hail the king! Long live King iiii. I want the job of jester. But really I’d do just about anything for you. You need only ask. 😓 ---
**Author:** ![SuperAbe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f17d59/32.png) [@SuperAbe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuperAbe)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2019, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-king-you-must-come-and-pay-homage/831739/5 "2019-03-30T02:44:50Z")
Oooooo, a Vizier! Wait, can I be your Grand Vizier? Or…Panjumdrum? Demi-potentate? Hmmm. Nope - Vizier it us! I predict we’ll get along swimmingly, sir! ---
**Author:** ![VOW](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/vow/32/3043_2.png) [@VOW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VOW)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2019, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-king-you-must-come-and-pay-homage/831739/6 "2019-03-30T02:55:30Z")
Pay you homage? Will you take a check? ~VOW ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2019, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-king-you-must-come-and-pay-homage/831739/7 "2019-03-30T02:55:31Z")
I will gather together a small collection of random gewgaws and put them on display\* in kind of an altar-tyoe thingy as an homage to you, my new king! Will that work for ya? \*with candles and incense, of course ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2019, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-king-you-must-come-and-pay-homage/831739/8 "2019-03-30T02:56:19Z")
> [@SuperAbe](#): > > Oooooo, a Vizier! Wait, can I be your Grand Vizier? Or…Panjumdrum? Demi-potentate? > > Hmmm. Nope - Vizier it us! > > I predict we’ll get along swimmingly, sir! A Vizier’s only job is to shade the king’s iiiis ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2019, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-king-you-must-come-and-pay-homage/831739/9 "2019-03-30T03:02:02Z")
Are y’all actively trying to usurp my position at court? This does not make me happy. Which in turn will piss off King iiii. People might be be-headed. I’m just saying. ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2019, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-king-you-must-come-and-pay-homage/831739/10 "2019-03-30T03:09:51Z")
You’ve been usurped. I am now the King. ---
**Author:** ![MEBuckner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mebuckner/32/2896_2.png) [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2019, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-king-you-must-come-and-pay-homage/831739/11 "2019-03-30T03:17:25Z")
I will never bow to you! Um, either of you. Long live the Republic! ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2019, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-king-you-must-come-and-pay-homage/831739/12 "2019-03-30T03:22:57Z")
Explain the benefits of the monarchy over our current system. I’m in a receptive mood. ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2019, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-king-you-must-come-and-pay-homage/831739/13 "2019-03-30T03:45:28Z")
> [@Sunny\_Daze](#): > > Explain the benefits of the monarchy over our current system. I’m in a receptive mood. well, you see - I’m the king becuase i says I’m the king and God ordained it. Anyone who disagrees is serving evil, since I’m clearly good. We also save alot of money on elections that would just name me king anyway and Beer, beer, beer, beer, beer, beer. ---
**Author:** ![Defensive\_Indifference](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/defensive_indifference/32/6502_2.png) [@Defensive\_Indifference](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Defensive_Indifference)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2019, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-king-you-must-come-and-pay-homage/831739/14 "2019-03-30T03:46:29Z")
Well, I didn’t vote for you. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2019, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-king-you-must-come-and-pay-homage/831739/15 "2019-03-30T03:47:49Z")
> [@simster](#): > > well, you see - I’m the king becuase i says I’m the king and God ordained it. Anyone who disagrees is serving evil, since I’m clearly good. > > We also save alot of money on elections that would just name me king anyway You’re already doing a better job than 4 eyes. ---
**Author:** ![SuperAbe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f17d59/32.png) [@SuperAbe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuperAbe)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2019, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-king-you-must-come-and-pay-homage/831739/16 "2019-03-30T03:51:25Z")
> [@running\_coach](#): > > A Vizier’s only job is to shade the king’s iiiis Throwing shade? I can do that! ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2019, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-king-you-must-come-and-pay-homage/831739/17 "2019-03-30T03:53:34Z")
Can I be the court jester/royal assassin? Otherwise [chucky Bronson]no dice[/CB] ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2019, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-king-you-must-come-and-pay-homage/831739/18 "2019-03-30T03:57:21Z")
> [@Defensive\_Indifference](#): > > Well, I didn’t vote for you. So you would prefer to have your fate decided by majority opinion rather than being ruled by me, whose right to kingship was passed down from ancestors said to be a god and a mermaid. Fool! ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2019, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-king-you-must-come-and-pay-homage/831739/19 "2019-03-30T04:03:43Z")
> [@snfaulkner](#): > > Can I be the court jester/royal assassin? Otherwise [chucky Bronson]no dice[/CB] Hey I said jester first. You can have the royal ass.job. Too messy for me. I dub you you Lord Chamberpot. _Clink_( that was a royal decree coming down) Long live King iiii. Not that other guy. ---
**Author:** ![Suburban\_Plankton](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suburban_plankton/32/219_2.png) [@Suburban\_Plankton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suburban_Plankton)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2019, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-king-you-must-come-and-pay-homage/831739/20 "2019-03-30T04:06:30Z")
I’m fresh out of homage, but I have some Tootsie Rolls and a DVD copy of _The Nightmare Before Christmas_. What’ll that buy me? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-king-you-must-come-and-pay-homage/831739.md?page=2)