# I am your king; you must come and pay homage **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 30, 2019, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-king-you-must-come-and-pay-homage/831739 "2019-03-30T01:40:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2019, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-king-you-must-come-and-pay-homage/831739/21 "2019-03-30T04:06:31Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > Hey I said jester first. You can have the royal ass.job. Too messy for me. I dub you you Lord Chamberpot. _Clink_( that was a royal decree coming down) > > Long live King iiii. > Not that other guy. no one likes jesters, let alone jesters of recently disposed kings. quick - say something funny. ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2019, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-king-you-must-come-and-pay-homage/831739/22 "2019-03-30T04:07:37Z")
> [@Suburban\_Plankton](#): > > I’m fresh out of homage, but I have some Tootsie Rolls and a DVD copy of _The Nightmare Before Christmas_. What’ll that buy me? the position of Jester is yours for the taking. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2019, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-king-you-must-come-and-pay-homage/831739/23 "2019-03-30T04:11:40Z")
Noooooooo! You can’t do that. I have the urge to tell a long convoluted tale about the lil’wrekkers allergies. And how my cats have been so cute today. I’m not playing. It’s gonna be sickening. And it will be all your fault for boring the kingdom to death. Plus I brought pies ( yes plural)🙂 ( my loyalties have shifted long live King Simster, he’s such a cool king) ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2019, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-king-you-must-come-and-pay-homage/831739/24 "2019-03-30T04:15:14Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > Noooooooo! You can’t do that. I have the urge to tell a long convoluted tale about the lil’wrekkers allergies. And how my cats have been so cute today. I’m not playing. It’s gonna be sickening. And it will be all your fault for boring the kingdom to death. Plus I brought pies ( yes plural)🙂 hey - I’m the King - remember that proclamation I made not 10 posts ago?? I name you official kitten tamer and taker carer of snotty nosed children - go forth, Madame Loratadine. You can leave the pies. ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2019, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-king-you-must-come-and-pay-homage/831739/25 "2019-03-30T04:18:47Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > ( my loyalties have shifted long live King Simster, he’s such a cool king) Its a good day… ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2019, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-king-you-must-come-and-pay-homage/831739/26 "2019-03-30T04:28:37Z")
Ahh. Peace in the kingdom. And I want a tiger. Please. King-o-dude. (Hail and shit) ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2019, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-king-you-must-come-and-pay-homage/831739/27 "2019-03-30T04:38:41Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > Ahh. Peace in the kingdom. And I want a tiger. Please. King-o-dude. (Hail and shit) Never let it be said that this King does not listen to his peaple - I give you your [tiger](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/fd/2a/74/fd2a74da4c7de30fd04dadf6d10c4502.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![davidm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidm/32/225_2.png) [@davidm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davidm)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2019, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-king-you-must-come-and-pay-homage/831739/28 "2019-03-30T04:49:30Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > I’ve decided that I am your king. Those who pay homage to me will earn my royal favor; those who do not will earn my wrath. > > Think carefully on it. The favor of the king can be a powerful asset. I may even make you one of my ministers, or, if you’re very lucky, my vizier. I am the Grand Poobah. As such you are subservient to me and sovereign administrator (subject to my whim) of the SDMB; one if my many kingdoms. Ignore that pretender **simster**. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2019, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-king-you-must-come-and-pay-homage/831739/29 "2019-03-30T04:55:55Z")
Grand Poobah? Grand Poobah? What? This ain’t ‘The Flintstones’ I don’t think Good\* King Simster is gonna look kindly on you. I’d get thee to the county line, asap! - good cause I have a tiger ( kinda). ---
**Author:** ![Gorsnak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gorsnak/32/7587_2.png) [@Gorsnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorsnak)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2019, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-king-you-must-come-and-pay-homage/831739/30 "2019-03-30T05:04:11Z")
Well how’d you become king then? ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2019, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-king-you-must-come-and-pay-homage/831739/31 "2019-03-30T05:07:18Z")
I smell a coup d’etat. All this royal intrigue is getting me down. King-o-dude Simster we need a royal pah-tay! ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2019, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-king-you-must-come-and-pay-homage/831739/32 "2019-03-30T05:10:05Z")
One of you mentioned beer. You have my, er, vote. ---
**Author:** ![nelliebly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nelliebly/32/5422_2.png) [@nelliebly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nelliebly)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2019, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-king-you-must-come-and-pay-homage/831739/33 "2019-03-30T05:54:30Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > I smell a coup d’etat. > All this royal intrigue is getting me down. King-o-dude Simster we need a royal pah-tay! Now we see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help, I’m being repressed! ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2019, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-king-you-must-come-and-pay-homage/831739/34 "2019-03-30T06:21:28Z")
> [@nelliebly](#): > > Now we see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help, I’m being repressed! Yea, verily. ---
**Author:** ![VOW](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/vow/32/3043_2.png) [@VOW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VOW)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2019, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-king-you-must-come-and-pay-homage/831739/35 "2019-03-30T06:58:39Z")
_writes “VOID” across the face of first check_ Okay, I’m trying to pay my homage here. To whom do I make this check? Better spell your name out for me. I don’t want to screw up another check. ~VOW ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2019, 7:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-king-you-must-come-and-pay-homage/831739/36 "2019-03-30T07:13:25Z")
Just make it out to “KING”. The real one will have no trouble cashing it. ---
**Author:** ![Filbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/filbert/32/3433_2.png) [@Filbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Filbert)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2019, 8:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-king-you-must-come-and-pay-homage/831739/37 "2019-03-30T08:01:21Z")
Ehh, why not. Makes more sense and is easier to follow than my country’s current political situation. _bobs a curtsy_. ---
**Author:** ![RobDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f07891/32.png) [@RobDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RobDog)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2019, 11:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-king-you-must-come-and-pay-homage/831739/38 "2019-03-30T11:20:14Z")
I, I will be King And you, you will be Queen Though nothing will drive them away We can be heroes just for one day We can be us just for one day Good grief. Has it been three years already ☹ ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2019, 11:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-king-you-must-come-and-pay-homage/831739/39 "2019-03-30T11:36:24Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > I’ve decided that I am your king. “I am still your emperor.” ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2019, 11:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-king-you-must-come-and-pay-homage/831739/40 "2019-03-30T11:37:25Z")
simster, you are confined to the dungeon. So says the king. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-king-you-must-come-and-pay-homage/831739.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-king-you-must-come-and-pay-homage/831739.md?page=3)