# I am your king; you must come and pay homage **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 30, 2019, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-king-you-must-come-and-pay-homage/831739 "2019-03-30T01:40:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![ZonexandScout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zonexandscout/32/544_2.png) [@ZonexandScout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZonexandScout)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2019, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-king-you-must-come-and-pay-homage/831739/61 "2019-03-30T17:49:23Z")
Hey, Your Majesty! How ya doin’? I’m hear to pick up Princess iiandrinaiiii for the ball. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2019, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-king-you-must-come-and-pay-homage/831739/62 "2019-03-30T17:53:14Z")
> [@ZonexandScout](#): > > Hey, Your Majesty! How ya doin’? I’m hear to pick up Princess iiandrinaiiii for the ball. In my court, women and girls make decisions for themselves – you are free to pick up any adult if she chooses to accompany you. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2019, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-king-you-must-come-and-pay-homage/831739/63 "2019-03-30T17:54:14Z")
> [@simster](#): > > I say unto my followers thusly… > > Beer - beer and beer. We shall have beer from the kegs, the cans and the rivers themselves shall flow with the water that makes thine beer. > > We shall also have pizza - and pretzels. > > Let those that stand with that four-eyed guy rejoice - for they shall have beer as well - for I am an honorable and just King. but for him - he can have… well hell - he can have a beer too - but only one - until he dost see the error of his ways. > > uhhh — better make that four then. In the dungeon you can have a 12 pack. But it’s Keystone Light. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2019, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-king-you-must-come-and-pay-homage/831739/64 "2019-03-30T18:02:15Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > In the dungeon you can have a 12 pack. But it’s Keystone Light. That’s inhuman!!! ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2019, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-king-you-must-come-and-pay-homage/831739/65 "2019-03-30T18:21:02Z")
Can I be the royal pet? I’ll make sarcastic remarks using my Gilbert Gottfried impersonation. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2019, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-king-you-must-come-and-pay-homage/831739/66 "2019-03-30T18:28:54Z")
> [@furryman](#): > > Can I be the royal pet? I’ll make sarcastic remarks using my Gilbert Gottfried impersonation. You are hereby made the Royal Good Boy. You may frolic and play as you wish, with all the scritches you desire. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2019, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-king-you-must-come-and-pay-homage/831739/67 "2019-03-30T19:34:20Z")
I promise to bring you Golden Beer, Franken Senses Pretzels and Myrrh Pizza. How’s about it? ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2019, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-king-you-must-come-and-pay-homage/831739/68 "2019-03-30T19:40:19Z")
\*Everyone’s licking up to the new King Pin Trying to get way up with a smile Sing for your supper boy and jump to a finger click Ain’t my way of living in style Well the way that we’re living Is all take and no giving There’s nothing to believe in The loudest mouth will hail the new-found way To be king for a day\* –XTC ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2019, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-king-you-must-come-and-pay-homage/831739/69 "2019-03-30T19:46:07Z")
> [@simster](#): > > He’s nothing but a jackass in a fancy metal can He can walk his fancy assed metal wrapped self to the curb with the trash and the lawn needs mowing. The castle keep is looking kinda ragged. I’m gonna see King-o-dude for a annulment. This is ridiculous. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2019, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-king-you-must-come-and-pay-homage/831739/70 "2019-03-30T19:56:58Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > I promise to bring you Golden Beer, Franken Senses Pretzels and Myrrh Pizza. How’s about it? You are hereby made Minister of Catering. The entire Royal Catering Corps is yours! ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2019, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-king-you-must-come-and-pay-homage/831739/71 "2019-03-30T20:01:03Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > You are hereby made Minister of Catering. The entire Royal Catering Corps is yours! We, here at the Palace think we can make our food better and cheaper ourselves. We don’t need no stinkin’ take out. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2019, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-king-you-must-come-and-pay-homage/831739/72 "2019-03-30T20:09:45Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > We, here at the Palace think we can make our food better and cheaper ourselves. We don’t need no stinkin’ take out. The Royal treasury allows us to do both, as we see fit. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2019, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-king-you-must-come-and-pay-homage/831739/73 "2019-03-30T20:40:25Z")
WTH? The royal treasury is full of old railroad bonds and confederate money. Get thee to the kichens and cook up some vittles for the right and proper King and his courtiers, namely me. Wings will do fine. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2019, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-king-you-must-come-and-pay-homage/831739/74 "2019-03-30T20:49:32Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > WTH? The royal treasury is full of old railroad bonds and confederate money. Get thee to the kichens and cook up some vittles for the right and proper King and his courtiers, namely me. Wings will do fine. Your jests and gibes amuse me. You are hereby made the Royal Jester. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2019, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-king-you-must-come-and-pay-homage/831739/75 "2019-03-30T21:00:24Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > Your jests and gibes amuse me. You are hereby made the Royal Jester. Well, it’s high time I was 'preciated. I may have to switch my loyalties again. I like a good job upgrade. I hope the pay is sufficiently upped as well! ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2019, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-king-you-must-come-and-pay-homage/831739/76 "2019-03-30T21:03:53Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > Well, it’s high time I was 'preciated. I may have to switch my loyalties again. I like a good job upgrade. I hope the pay is sufficiently upped as well! Amuse the court, and you will never lack comfort and means again! ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2019, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-king-you-must-come-and-pay-homage/831739/77 "2019-03-30T21:25:09Z")
Can you get me a proper tiger. I really, really need one. Can’t be worse than my Siamese house cats. Also can you do anything about my errant tin can wrapped Prince. He refuses to carry out his husbandly duties. Mainly trash and yard work. How many crusades does he really need to go on? You can’t get good help these days. The peasants refuse to work. They’re kinda weak and hungry looking, just saying. I don’t presume to know affairs of the kingdom but those peasants are a problem. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2019, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-king-you-must-come-and-pay-homage/831739/78 "2019-03-30T21:33:22Z")
I thought you were the Court Jester, not the Court Complainer. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2019, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-king-you-must-come-and-pay-homage/831739/79 "2019-03-30T21:39:51Z")
Well the political circus that is The Palace requires the squeaky wheel to squeak loudly. Nothing ever gets fixed around here. It’s a joke. ---
**Author:** ![PoppaSan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/poppasan/32/189_2.png) [@PoppaSan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PoppaSan)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2019, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-king-you-must-come-and-pay-homage/831739/80 "2019-03-30T23:40:36Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > … It’s a joke. Not a very good jester if you need to point out your jokes. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-king-you-must-come-and-pay-homage/831739.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-am-your-king-you-must-come-and-pay-homage/831739.md?page=5)