# I beat my kid to death because massa beat my ancestors. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 1, 2004, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-beat-my-kid-to-death-because-massa-beat-my-ancestors/248057 "2004-06-01T12:42:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2004, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-beat-my-kid-to-death-because-massa-beat-my-ancestors/248057/81 "2004-06-03T18:20:03Z")
> [@betenoir](#): > > Anyway, the remaining expressions are “Dutch courage” (you drink) “Dutch treat” (you’re cheap) and “Dutch wife” (err…you’re bad in bed?). Well, let’s not forget that staple of adolescent sleepovers, the ever-popular “Dutch oven.” ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2004, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-beat-my-kid-to-death-because-massa-beat-my-ancestors/248057/82 "2004-06-03T19:08:11Z")
> [@Padmaraga](#): > > Which race/ethnic group/nationality do I have to be to excuse personal responsibility for killing lawyers and assistant professors with whacko “disorder” theories? Not a race per se, but I think that Unibomber is what you are looking for. If that defence works, this Jew is going to Oregon for a little M & M. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2004, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-beat-my-kid-to-death-because-massa-beat-my-ancestors/248057/83 "2004-06-03T20:06:17Z")
> [@CrazyCatLady](#): > > Well, let’s not forget that staple of adolescent sleepovers, the ever-popular “Dutch oven.” Nah, I think a Dutch oven is just a big pot with a lid. You may be referring to what we always called a Chinese oven: trapping someone under a blanket and farting on them. ---
**Author:** ![confessorknight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9a140/32.png) [@confessorknight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/confessorknight)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2004, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-beat-my-kid-to-death-because-massa-beat-my-ancestors/248057/84 "2004-06-03T21:32:33Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally Posted by Dung Beetle : > > > [@](#): > > > > Originally Posted by CrazyCatLady > > Well, let’s not forget that staple of adolescent sleepovers, the ever-popular “Dutch oven.” > > Nah, I think a Dutch oven is just a big pot with a lid. You may be referring to what we always called a Chinese oven: trapping someone under a blanket and farting on them. I imagine its important not to get the two confused if you’re the one doing the cooking. ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2004, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-beat-my-kid-to-death-because-massa-beat-my-ancestors/248057/85 "2004-06-03T22:53:43Z")
No, I’ve always heard it referred to as a Dutch oven, presumably because it’s like being in a large (very stinky, in this case) pot with a lid. The covers retain the odor just like the lid on a Dutch oven retains the juices and flavors of the food. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2004, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-beat-my-kid-to-death-because-massa-beat-my-ancestors/248057/86 "2004-06-04T00:10:04Z")
Yes, our pots are very efficient. We’re cheap, remember? And don’t give us a hard time over our gas problems, OK? We have very sensitive bowels that aren’t really suited to all the spicy goods we knicked from those faraway colonies. Of course, being cheap bastards, we always manage to make a buck out of a bad situation: > [@](#): > > [the Netherlands ranks among the largest producers and distributors of natural gas. The Slochteren gasfields in Groningen Province are among the world’s largest-producing natural gas fields. At present, total proven natural gas reserves–on the mainland and on the North Sea continental shelf–amount to close to 2,000 km³, of which about 80% is accounted for by reserves on the mainland. Current gas production is running at an annual average of about 80 km³, roughly half of which is exported to EU member countries. General government revenues from natural gas totaled about $1.2 billion in 2000.](http://www.nationmaster.com/encyclopedia/Economy-of-the-Netherlands) 😉 ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2004, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-beat-my-kid-to-death-because-massa-beat-my-ancestors/248057/87 "2004-06-04T01:29:54Z")
Okay, **Coldfire** , let’s see what this German/French/English ancestried person can do: Ah, I’ve got it. I’ll sneer at your cooking and fashion sense while invading to take your natural resources to fuel the expansion of my empire. ---
**Author:** ![Angel\_Heart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@Angel\_Heart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angel_Heart)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2004, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-beat-my-kid-to-death-because-massa-beat-my-ancestors/248057/88 "2004-06-08T03:19:13Z")
I’m black with a little bit of Native American and Scotch-Irish mixed in. So do I get to wear orange–including backwards baseball cap and Tims, beat up people with a lacrosse stick, set rap lyrics to Celtic music and bluegrass harmonies, and prevent myself from inhabiting certain territories? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2004, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-beat-my-kid-to-death-because-massa-beat-my-ancestors/248057/89 "2004-06-08T03:27:14Z")
> [@Angel Heart](#): > > I’m black with a little bit of Native American and Scotch-Irish mixed in. So do I get to wear orange–including backwards baseball cap and Tims, beat up people with a lacrosse stick, set rap lyrics to Celtic music and bluegrass harmonies, and prevent myself from inhabiting certain territories? 😃 Scots vs Irish vs Blacks vs Indians. “WHO WILL PREVAIL? Watch the oppressed peoples of the world slug it out in a mideviel, no holds barred DEATHMATCH! Spears, Swords, Haggis, Whisky! All with a hatred for the English! Coming this SUNDAY!” ---
**Author:** ![Denis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5e9695/32.png) [@Denis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Denis)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2004, 7:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-beat-my-kid-to-death-because-massa-beat-my-ancestors/248057/90 "2004-06-08T07:09:54Z")
I’m mostly French with some English and a dash of Irish. So I’m fucked. I get to fart in my own general direction, taunt myself, infiltrate my castle with a large wooden rabbit, and then launch it at myself!? I think I’ll go have a Guinness or six and think this over. ---
**Author:** ![Ilsa\_Lund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a6a055/32.png) [@Ilsa\_Lund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ilsa_Lund)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2004, 8:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-beat-my-kid-to-death-because-massa-beat-my-ancestors/248057/91 "2004-06-08T08:02:39Z")
Great news. Now, if you have Dutch ancestry, the cops’ll never be able to touch you for smoking pot! ---
**Author:** ![istara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e79b87/32.png) [@istara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/istara)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2004, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-beat-my-kid-to-death-because-massa-beat-my-ancestors/248057/92 "2004-06-08T18:22:43Z")
My greatx100000 grandparents were kicked off their land several millennia ago and sent into the shitty desert. Just because they ate fruit off their own fucking tree. I reserve the right to massacre the entire human race with the defence of post-Eden traumatic system. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2004, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-beat-my-kid-to-death-because-massa-beat-my-ancestors/248057/93 "2004-06-08T19:13:09Z")
You think your ancestors had it tough, **istara**? Hmph. My multi-great-grandspawners got chased out of the nice warm food-rich ocean onto the desolate ferny shores. They had to squirm through muck just to support themselves. And they were _grateful_. So… I guess that would excuse hurling an asteroid at the planet. ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2004, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-beat-my-kid-to-death-because-massa-beat-my-ancestors/248057/94 "2004-06-08T20:21:00Z")
> [@Ilsa\_Lund](#): > > Great news. Now, if you have Dutch ancestry, the cops’ll never be able to touch you for smoking pot! Why didn’t anyone tell me this earlier? I’m always the last to know. ---
**Author:** ![Tenar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@Tenar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tenar)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2004, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-beat-my-kid-to-death-because-massa-beat-my-ancestors/248057/95 "2004-06-08T23:13:15Z")
> [@LouisB](#): > > I come from a long line of poor white trash. I guess that’s the reason I never get away with anything. Wait a minute. I would think there would be some kind of dispensation if you decided to get stinking drunk, marry your cousin and drive a battered trailer home into the side of a Savings and Loan. During a tornado. I’m part Greek, part Polish, part Serbian and part Irish, so can I name my dog Archduke Ferdinand, bugger it, get it drunk and then assassinate it (only to discover that I messed up and killed the wrong dog by mistake)? ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2004, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-beat-my-kid-to-death-because-massa-beat-my-ancestors/248057/96 "2004-06-09T00:30:51Z")
It might go better for you if you get the dog drunk _before_ you bugger it. ---
**Author:** ![Eva\_Luna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e495f1/32.png) [@Eva\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eva_Luna)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2004, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-beat-my-kid-to-death-because-massa-beat-my-ancestors/248057/97 "2004-06-09T01:37:05Z")
> [@sturmhauke](#): > > It might go better for you if you get the dog drunk _before_ you bugger it. It would _definitely_ go better for the dog. ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2004, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-beat-my-kid-to-death-because-massa-beat-my-ancestors/248057/98 "2004-06-09T03:02:25Z")
> [@Eva Luna](#): > > It would _definitely_ go better for the dog. I think there are laws againest that. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2004, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-beat-my-kid-to-death-because-massa-beat-my-ancestors/248057/99 "2004-06-09T04:26:13Z")
> [@HPL](#): > > I think there are laws againest that. What, getting the dog drunk or buggering it? Because in TN, at least, it’s legal to bugger an animal. No, I don’t know from experience, but there was a case in Murfreesboro, TN about ten years ago where a guy was caught screwing a horse and the newspaper articles went to great lengths to point out that bestiality was legal in Tennessee. As for my ancestry, that’s pretty muddled. I know I’m English, Irish, Welsh, Swiss, and possibly Swedish. I guess the only thing for me to do is sack my house, burn it, and make sure that my gang raped body is left somewhere as a warning to others. ---
**Author:** ![dangergene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@dangergene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dangergene)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2004, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-beat-my-kid-to-death-because-massa-beat-my-ancestors/248057/100 "2004-06-09T07:08:43Z")
I’m at something of a loss, I’m… Australian-English (1st fleet military and later insurgents er… immigrants), Norse, Irish-American, Guinean (Royalty no less, and then a Slave :eek: ), Spanish-Mexican, Shoshoni, and probably a bunch of stuff in between. A friend pointed out that I’m the only person he knows who would have the right to design the new capital while lead an army into a war of succession for potatoes while raping, pillaging and scalping and all for a drop of rum which might lead me on a vision-quest! And my son gets to throw Chinese-Hokkien into the mix too! So he gets to swear profanely, AND lead that army. Woowoo! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-beat-my-kid-to-death-because-massa-beat-my-ancestors/248057.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-beat-my-kid-to-death-because-massa-beat-my-ancestors/248057.md?page=6)