# I believe I have discovered the worst “food” item in existence **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** food-cooking\ **Created:** [May 23, 2021, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-believe-i-have-discovered-the-worst-food-item-in-existence/942741 "2021-05-23T14:11:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2021, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-believe-i-have-discovered-the-worst-food-item-in-existence/942741/81 "2021-05-28T01:50:28Z")
That makes as much sense as gluten-free seitan. ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2021, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-believe-i-have-discovered-the-worst-food-item-in-existence/942741/82 "2021-05-28T03:53:02Z")
> [@swampspruce](#): > > I’ll submit durian ice wafer cookies. Sweet,sweet dried vomit with your tea. I’ve tried durian (albeit not in wafer form), and found it to be delicious. It’s best eaten outdoors, though, because the smell of it will linger for hours in an enclosed space. Surströmming, however - I have no idea how anyone thought that was a good idea. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2021, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-believe-i-have-discovered-the-worst-food-item-in-existence/942741/83 "2021-05-28T05:25:07Z")
> [@psychobunny](#): > > I’ve had thousand year old eggs and they are downright delicious compared to these crisps. Yep, I love thousand-year eggs. A favorite Hong Kong-style restaurant that closed down years ago served a dish made with thousand year egg, tofu, ginger, and scallions in soy sauce and sesame oil that my whole family still reminisces over, including my fussiest daughter. ---
**Author:** ![psychobunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/54ee81/32.png) [@psychobunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psychobunny)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2021, 11:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-believe-i-have-discovered-the-worst-food-item-in-existence/942741/84 "2021-05-30T11:06:48Z")
No!!! I got more groceries today and they gave me another four packages of these foul crisps! ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2021, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-believe-i-have-discovered-the-worst-food-item-in-existence/942741/85 "2021-05-31T06:57:10Z")
Seekers of the most foul food need only re-read the Marmite story: > [@The Marmite Horror](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-marmite-horror/512627): > > If it appears that I write these words in haste, I beg your forgiveness - but my time is brief, for I cannot know how long my sanity will endure. For I have tasted of That Which Must Not Be Named - that which its acolytes, in foul ceremonies of ancient Pagan faiths, call “Marmite” - and I fear my mind cannot long endure the memory of that hideous flavour. My G-d, my G-d, my G-d - No. G-d help me, no! I will finish this, my last and greatest duty in this life. For the sake of my soul, that it mi… > [@](#): > > . . . For the sake of my soul, that it might be saved though my mind cannot. And for you, Gentle Reader, that you might hear the warning I was too arrogant to heed . . . ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2021, 7:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-believe-i-have-discovered-the-worst-food-item-in-existence/942741/86 "2021-05-31T07:02:54Z")
Several posts here have questioned the cuisine art of Grape Nuts. Consider mixing with milk and boiling to make cooked cereal. It’s actually pretty good. No added sugar necessary, IMO. (It takes quite a lot of milk, otherwise it just sets up like concrete.) Eating those doubleplussuggary cereals (like the doubleplusfruity Trix) is a little like drinking straight pancake syrup. Consider trying Kix. Just little puff balls like classic Trix (no weird fruit shapes), no food coloring (they’re all just uniform yellow, which is apparently natural since no food coloring is listed in the ingredients), and they have a much lesser amount of added sugar. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2021, 8:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-believe-i-have-discovered-the-worst-food-item-in-existence/942741/87 "2021-05-31T08:09:59Z")
> [@psychobunny](#): > > No!!! > I got more groceries today and they gave me another four packages of these foul crisps! Wait. Are they delivering groceries you didn’t order? ---
**Author:** ![psychobunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/54ee81/32.png) [@psychobunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psychobunny)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2021, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-believe-i-have-discovered-the-worst-food-item-in-existence/942741/88 "2021-05-31T12:17:03Z")
I ordered more groceries but they threw in these samples. Because I am an idiot, I decided to try them again to see if I just got a bad batch. I was able to tolerate a bite enough to describe it more thoroughly. Pretend you take a rice cake and spray it with floral air freshener. That is approximately the flavor. So yeah, still horrible. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2021, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-believe-i-have-discovered-the-worst-food-item-in-existence/942741/89 "2021-05-31T12:26:50Z")
> [@psychobunny](#): > > Pretend you take a rice cake and spray it with floral air freshener. That is approximately the flavor. So yeah, still horrible. I find that a lot of the flavored waters, both carbonated and non) taste the same way. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2021, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-believe-i-have-discovered-the-worst-food-item-in-existence/942741/90 "2021-05-31T13:04:29Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > I find that a lot of the flavored waters, both carbonated and non) taste the same way. Not disputing your experience, but I despise the stench of floral air fresheners but have never had that taste effect despite drinking lots of brands of lots of flavors of the lightly flavored fizzy water. The stuff that the La Croix brand more or less pioneered a few years ago. Which makes me wonder if there is some particular food additive / artificial flavorant that some percentage of the population tastes as nasty. Akin to how cilantro is either wonderful or terrible tasting depending on one’s personal genetics. If my theory is true, you and @psychobunny appear to be the bad-tasting camp. While at least enough people to get the formula out of product testing are in the “tastes fine” camp. Like me. In any case it’s Weird Science! for sure. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2021, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-believe-i-have-discovered-the-worst-food-item-in-existence/942741/91 "2021-05-31T15:13:58Z")
> [@psychobunny](#): > > Pretend you take a rice cake and spray it with floral air freshener. That is approximately the flavor. So yeah, still horrible. I told ya so! > [@cochrane](#): > > They’re rice cakes. There’s your problem. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2021, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-believe-i-have-discovered-the-worst-food-item-in-existence/942741/92 "2021-06-02T01:25:16Z")
> [@psychobunny](#): > > Pretend you take a rice cake and spray it with floral air freshener. That is approximately the flavor. So yeah, still horrible. Oh, I think I know what you mean. There are some pseudo-fruity flavors that taste just like that to me, especially in the tropical flavors. I’ve had them in Asian frozen yogurt places in the mango/peach varieties and in some beverages and candies. They taste terribly phony and overly scented, and I can still taste them an hour later. ---
**Author:** ![scabpicker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scabpicker/32/8268_2.png) [@scabpicker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scabpicker)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2021, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-believe-i-have-discovered-the-worst-food-item-in-existence/942741/93 "2021-06-02T04:29:34Z")
> [@psychobunny](#): > > Pretend you take a rice cake and spray it with floral air freshener. That is approximately the flavor. So yeah, still horrible. I dunno, my mom had a story she told where (among other odd events that day) a guy in a hotel walked up to a bowl of potpourri, grabbed a handful, and walked off snacking on it like it was mixed nuts. So, there must be an appeal to some segment of the population. ---
**Author:** ![nightshadea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7ba0ec/32.png) [@nightshadea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nightshadea)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2021, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-believe-i-have-discovered-the-worst-food-item-in-existence/942741/94 "2021-06-02T04:44:16Z")
i dont like the milk like substance they put in those things … . ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2021, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-believe-i-have-discovered-the-worst-food-item-in-existence/942741/95 "2021-06-02T05:19:21Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Vegetarian haggis > [simon-howie-vegetarian-haggis-454g.jpg (640×640) (wp.com)](https://i2.wp.com/myvegansupermarket.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/simon-howie-vegetarian-haggis-454g.jpg?fit=640,640&ssl=1) I’ve had vegetarian haggis. Somehow they managed to give oatmeal the same disgusting taste as actual haggis. I’ve also had grasshoppers. To me, they tasted somewhat like peanut butter. ---
**Author:** ![nightshadea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7ba0ec/32.png) [@nightshadea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nightshadea)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2021, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-believe-i-have-discovered-the-worst-food-item-in-existence/942741/96 "2021-06-02T05:31:41Z")
ive seen canned vegetarian haggis advertised … that just sounds like such a magnificent foulness that cant be described … ---
**Author:** ![DPRK](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4491bb/32.png) [@DPRK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DPRK)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2021, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-believe-i-have-discovered-the-worst-food-item-in-existence/942741/97 "2021-06-02T06:40:23Z")
> [@nightshadea](#): > > i dont like the milk like substance they put in those things … . You mean like adding century eggs to rice porridge? ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2021, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-believe-i-have-discovered-the-worst-food-item-in-existence/942741/98 "2021-06-02T12:45:38Z")
With extra _nước mắm_ fish sauce poured over. ---
**Author:** ![Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/face_intentionally_left_blank/32/288_2.png) [@Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Face_Intentionally_Left_Blank)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2021, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-believe-i-have-discovered-the-worst-food-item-in-existence/942741/99 "2021-06-03T00:12:33Z")
> [@psychobunny](#): > > Pretend you take a rice cake and spray it with floral air freshener. That is approximately the flavor. I like tea, but haven’t been all that adventurous in my selection. Looking to correct that, I was browsing teas online and discovered a black currant tea. I had recently read about black currant and how it is popular across the pond, but not in America because. . .take it away, Wikipedia! > The plant acts as a host for the [white pine blister rust](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_pine_blister_rust) that threatened the [timber industry](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wood_industry). In 1911, the federal government banned the cultivation, sale and transport of blackcurrants to protect the [white pine](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Pinus_species#Section_Quinquefoliae). Government programs systematically destroyed blackcurrant plants by chemical spraying. So informed, I was intrigued and wanted to try the forbidden black currant. The tea arrived, and it smelled _WONDERFUL_, like a perfume made of berries. I eagerly steeped the bag while I sat and inhaled the black currant fog wafting off of it. I took a sip. It tasted exactly like it smelled; like a perfume made of berries. What a disappointment. I persevered for about four or five cups over a couple weeks, trying varying levels of sweetener, hoping I’d get used to it. There’s no getting used to drinking perfume. Rather than risk any of my relationships, I did not give the remaining bags away but instead sent them to the landfill, where perhaps a bit of berry perfume would not go unappreciated. I do have a rather nice tin to remind me of the experience. It sits on my desk and holds various little bits that I can’t or won’t throw out, but don’t otherwise have a proper home. More than a year later, it still smells of berry perfume. ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2021, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-believe-i-have-discovered-the-worst-food-item-in-existence/942741/100 "2021-06-03T00:57:23Z")
There’s a comedy routine I like. Can’t remember who did it. Mike Birbiglia? He’s with a buddy at a ball game and he orders a pretzel. Buddy takes a bite, says it literally tastes like garbage. Pretzel Guy offers to give him another pretzel. Buddy takes a bite and spits it out, saying it tastes like garbage. Pretzel Guy gets annoyed and says there are no refunds. Buddy tells him “You either have to give me my money back, or you have to eat the pretzel.” Got his money back. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-believe-i-have-discovered-the-worst-food-item-in-existence/942741.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-believe-i-have-discovered-the-worst-food-item-in-existence/942741.md?page=6)