# I bet I'll go through all of 2011 without getting a girlfriend too **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 21, 2011, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bet-ill-go-through-all-of-2011-without-getting-a-girlfriend-too/572087 "2011-02-21T04:27:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2011, 7:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bet-ill-go-through-all-of-2011-without-getting-a-girlfriend-too/572087/21 "2011-02-21T07:00:30Z")
> [@Superhal](#): > > No, no you: > > use them to jerk off with. But **Superhal** , that’s your answer to _everything_! ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2011, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bet-ill-go-through-all-of-2011-without-getting-a-girlfriend-too/572087/22 "2011-02-21T07:06:46Z")
> [@Isamu](#): > > When life hands you lemons, you know what to do right? “Squeeze them, hard. Make an acid poison. Fling it in their eyes.” - Doctor Impossible. ---
**Author:** ![mookieblaylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b2d939/32.png) [@mookieblaylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mookieblaylock)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2011, 7:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bet-ill-go-through-all-of-2011-without-getting-a-girlfriend-too/572087/23 "2011-02-21T07:52:17Z")
> [@wheresmymind](#): > > That’s the spirit. IME _trying_ to “get” a girlfriend is counterproductive. It’s one of those things that should sort of happen on it’s own. For you, it will probably be something like this: > > You’re in line at the checkout counter and the frizzy-haired girl in front of you catches you eyeing the carpet cleaner, kitty litter, and vodka she’s purchasing on a Friday night. > “I know what you’re thinking” she says. “What kind of fuck-up buys this stuff on a Friday night. Well I don’t blame you. I must be a real loser to spend my weekends cleaning up cat throw-up and changing litter pans. The only thing I can do right is drown my sorrows in cheap vodka.” > “Ha, don’t get me started. I’m such a pathetic moaner that the only thing I can manage is to post depressing anecdotes about how low my self-esteem is on message boards,” you reply. > “Yeah, sometimes it’s hard to believe that someone could be as lame as me. I mean I’ve been looking for a boyfriend for 4 years, and the only people I meet run screaming away as soon as I start talking about how morose I am.” > “Me too. I think losers like us are best off just not even trying. It’s not like anyone will ever see anything in sad sacks of crap like us,” you lament. > She concurs, then asks: “Say, do you like cheap vodka?” > > Fast forward one month. You’re lying naked in bed next to the girl from the checkout counter, horribly hung over and covered in cat vomit. You wonder to yourself about the mysterious forces in the universe that aligned to steer you towards your soul mate. Yeah, because how I post on the internet is how I actually carry myself in real life. Not that it matters in my case. ---
**Author:** ![Covered\_In\_Bees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ab992/32.png) [@Covered\_In\_Bees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Covered_In_Bees)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2011, 8:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bet-ill-go-through-all-of-2011-without-getting-a-girlfriend-too/572087/24 "2011-02-21T08:05:05Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > **mookie** , either get some fucking help, or get a fucking blog already. I felt bad for you at first, but honestly, if you don’t care enough about yourself to do something, then just go away. Hmmm, seems **Cazzle** may have some competition for winner of the thread. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2011, 8:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bet-ill-go-through-all-of-2011-without-getting-a-girlfriend-too/572087/25 "2011-02-21T08:53:22Z")
> [@mookieblaylock](#): > > I promise myself that it will be different at the beginning of each new year > > but this year I decided not to disappoint myself again. Orright, I’ll put a fifty odds-on that you’re right. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2011, 8:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bet-ill-go-through-all-of-2011-without-getting-a-girlfriend-too/572087/26 "2011-02-21T08:57:51Z")
Just by the way, are you a channeller for Marvin, the eternally depressive android? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![AboutAsWeirdAsYouCanGet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@AboutAsWeirdAsYouCanGet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AboutAsWeirdAsYouCanGet)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2011, 9:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bet-ill-go-through-all-of-2011-without-getting-a-girlfriend-too/572087/27 "2011-02-21T09:28:31Z")
> [@](#): > > Somewhere along the way you will probably find someone who is compatible and it will move to the next stage - but if you worry about “having a girlfriend”, forget it. It won’t happen. Yes. Go out and try to actually MEET people. Stop thinking “I want a girlfriend” Start out as FRIENDS and then let it evolve from there. It’s NOT that hard! You have a car…you have access to events and social groups and countless number of things. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2011, 9:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bet-ill-go-through-all-of-2011-without-getting-a-girlfriend-too/572087/28 "2011-02-21T09:31:30Z")
> [@](#): > > I bet I’ll go through all of 2011 without getting a girlfriend too You and me, too. Although in my case, my wife would kill me. ---
**Author:** ![mookieblaylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b2d939/32.png) [@mookieblaylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mookieblaylock)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2011, 10:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bet-ill-go-through-all-of-2011-without-getting-a-girlfriend-too/572087/29 "2011-02-21T10:51:20Z")
Isi > [@AboutAsWeirdAsYouCanGet](#): > > Yes. Go out and try to actually MEET people. Stop thinking “I want a girlfriend” > Start out as FRIENDS and then let it evolve from there. It’s NOT that hard! You have a car…you have access to events and social groups and countless number of things. Yeah, but the longer I go without one, the more I want one. Thus is the vicious cycle that has doomed me to die alone. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2011, 11:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bet-ill-go-through-all-of-2011-without-getting-a-girlfriend-too/572087/30 "2011-02-21T11:35:40Z")
> [@mookieblaylock](#): > > Thus is the vicious cycle that has doomed me to die alone. Aren’t vicious cycles just a bitch. Yer’ doomed **mookie/marvin** , no point fighting the inevitable mate. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Double\_Foolscap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/85e7bf/32.png) [@Double\_Foolscap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Double_Foolscap)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2011, 11:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bet-ill-go-through-all-of-2011-without-getting-a-girlfriend-too/572087/31 "2011-02-21T11:47:52Z")
You guys are all missing an opportunity. Remember your youth? When you were attractive, charismatic and successful? I know that in my late teens, the only problem I had was running out of space on my dance card and having to wear clean underwear _every day_, what with the constant hookups I’d find myself in after simply walking into a book store and reaching for the same Proust volume as a doe-eyed bombshell with a liberal attitude towards having sex in skips. What we have in **mookieblaylock** is the person we told stories about around the camp fires we made during our nightly beach sex orgies - the person whose life isn’t going the way they planned! (It might not seem scray, but imagine it like it was told back in the day, with a flashlight under my chin and clamps on my nipples.) They can’t get sex in the way we can, by throwing a brick and humping the girl it hits in the ambulance - they have to put in effort! A sour attitude and lack of self worth doesn’t attract the ladies the way it does for us, as **mookieblaylock** doesn’t give off those pheremones everybody else does when feeling sad in order to attract a comforting bosom to cry on. So when you read **mookieblaylock** ’s posts, remember that his situation is _different_! He’s not posting from a gold-plated Rutonix - he probably doesn’t even know they exist. He isn’t dictating his posts to his soul mate who turned up just at the right time when he decided that constant sex parties were too exhausting and it was time to settle down. He’s _special_ god dammit, with his feelings of “sadness” and the need to work for the things that will make him happy. So tonight, when you’re eating your roast emu stuffed with unicorn bladders and drinking the sweat of the Sumatran booze monkey, spare a thought for poor **mookieblaylock** , the only guy on earth who has ever felt this way ever and is therefore a special snowflake we can never understand. ---
**Author:** ![sandra\_nz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@sandra\_nz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandra_nz)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2011, 12:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bet-ill-go-through-all-of-2011-without-getting-a-girlfriend-too/572087/32 "2011-02-21T12:00:20Z")
The problem with a target ‘get a girlfriend’ is that you are only half of the equation and you can’t control the other half. So your goal for the year should be something that you, and you alone, have control over. So it could be things like: - change counsellor - join a night class and attend all sessions - go to the library once a week - get 20 mins exercise three times a week ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2011, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bet-ill-go-through-all-of-2011-without-getting-a-girlfriend-too/572087/33 "2011-02-21T12:31:09Z")
Why the fixation on _girlfriends_? It doesn’t sound like you even have friends (I can’t imagine you have a whole lot based on your self-absorbed whinery). You need to work on that before going to the girlfriend arena. Do you have a life? Not a social life, just a life with rich experiences. Hobbies, a job that you half-way care about, special interests. If not, you need to cultivate something. Make yourself more interesting. And while you’re at it, stop posting such sorry-ass OPs, **mookie**. It’s getting tiresome. ---
**Author:** ![Grey\_area](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Grey\_area](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grey_area)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2011, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bet-ill-go-through-all-of-2011-without-getting-a-girlfriend-too/572087/34 "2011-02-21T12:39:16Z")
I think when people go without ever having had a girlfriend/boyfriend they start to misattribute all their problems and unhappiness into that one detail. As if a relationship is some sort of magical event that will change everything. But it won’t. You’ll probably feel better about yourself for a bit and blah blah blah but after a few months you’ll be back to square one. You probably won’t believe me but meh. Anyway, I think step 1 in terms making any positive change is to stop feeling sorry for yourself. Easier said then done right? What I would recommend is some hardship. Not sure what you’re doing with yourself right now, but if you’re a student or unemployed, use that spare time to get a shitty physically demanding job with little pay, just for a month. Something that requires little skill with a high turnover rate. No quitting. Since you hate yourself so much, think of it as punishment for being a dateless weinie. Give it a shot. Best part of having nothing is that there’s nothing to lose, right? Hopefully it will put some things into perspective. ---
**Author:** ![xoferew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/e9a140/32.png) [@xoferew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xoferew)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2011, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bet-ill-go-through-all-of-2011-without-getting-a-girlfriend-too/572087/35 "2011-02-21T12:40:14Z")
Mmm, unicorn bladders! I’m picturing them like large gyoza/potstickers/chinese dumplings. Maybe Mookie could start by identifying in this thread three interests he has, that he could build upon to drag himself out of his inertia and despair. (Alcohol counts if you have bartending skillz or can make your own microbrew or something.) Then add two or three more things that could plausibly become an interest or at least you could do without pain as you become knowledgeable. This is the approach I’m taking. My list: 1. Japanese language/food/culture 2. Sewing little dolls and stuffed animals 3. Drinking good coffee 4. Ballroom dancing 5. Boardgames like Scrabble I have found groups or classes for all of these but the coffee drinking but I address that by reading in coffee shops rather than always in my apartment. I have had complete loons strike up conversations with me in the coffee shop, so I guess the striking up conversation potential is there. Anyway, I’ve only been making this effort for a month, and I don’t have a million friends/lovers yet, but I already feel happier, more interesting, more optimistic. You might try it. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2011, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bet-ill-go-through-all-of-2011-without-getting-a-girlfriend-too/572087/36 "2011-02-21T12:53:02Z")
> [@mookieblaylock](#): > > I promise myself that it will be different at the beginning of each new year > > but this year I decided not to disappoint myself again. **Mookie** , I’ve told you numerous time to keep your “poor me” stuff in that single existing thread, and I told you that the next time you put it elsewhere, I’d give you a warning for ignoring moderator instructions. Warning issued. Thread closed. **twickster** , MPSIMS moderator [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bet-ill-go-through-all-of-2011-without-getting-a-girlfriend-too/572087.md?page=1)