# I bought a duck today. **URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bought-a-duck-today/230658 **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share **Created:** [February 23, 2004, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bought-a-duck-today/230658 "2004-02-23T13:42:31Z") **Posts on this page:** 19 **Page:** 4
### Author: ![phall0106](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/phall0106/32/5934_2.png) [@phall0106](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phall0106) #### Post date: [February 24, 2004, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bought-a-duck-today/230658/61 "2004-02-24T20:13:23Z")
> [@dutchboy208](#): > > Because chicks dig ducks. No, no, no, no! Chicks dig dIcks, not ducks!! geez…one lousy letter and he’s screwed! or not… ---
### Author: ![Ashes\_Ashes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/db5fbb/32.png) [@Ashes\_Ashes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashes_Ashes) #### Post date: [February 24, 2004, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bought-a-duck-today/230658/62 "2004-02-24T21:06:36Z")
I’ve been wondering lately, whatever happened to the duck and the chick on Friends? I’m off topic, but this seemed the place to ask! And **Dutchboy** , perhaps your duck is away, suffering some sort of _mallardy_, there’s that bird flu going around you know. We know he didn’t fall off your balcony, 'cause ducks are known for their grace. _Poultry_ in motion, y’know. Does anyone else suspect fowl foul play? ---
### Author: ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown) #### Post date: [February 24, 2004, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bought-a-duck-today/230658/63 "2004-02-24T21:31:24Z")
I know what might’ve happened to him! Perchance did you hear something like this at the time in question . . .? Yoickth and away! . . . . yoickth and away! . . . . . . . . yoickth . . . and away . .! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . yoickth . . . and . . . awaaay . . . ---
### Author: ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright) #### Post date: [February 25, 2004, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bought-a-duck-today/230658/64 "2004-02-25T01:46:17Z")
I started a thread awhile (pre-Hong Kong handover… well, pre-switch to new board format, anyway) called “This is the best thread ever”. It wasn’t but this is now officially _my_ best thread ever. Certainly my best thread about ducks. ---
### Author: ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright) #### Post date: [March 13, 2004, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bought-a-duck-today/230658/65 "2004-03-13T02:30:10Z")
> [@Really Not All That Bright](#): > > I started a thread awhile (pre-Hong Kong handover… well, pre-switch to new board format, anyway) called “This is the best thread ever”. > > It wasn’t but this is now officially _my_ best thread ever. Certainly my best thread about ducks. And, of course, it dies as soon as I say that. ---
### Author: ![misstee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/958977/32.png) [@misstee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misstee) #### Post date: [March 13, 2004, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bought-a-duck-today/230658/66 "2004-03-13T13:43:27Z")
> [@Really Not All That Bright](#): > > And, of course, it dies as soon as I say that. The duck died? ((((( **RNA** ))))) I know what you mean, just thought I would use this as a good excuse to hug you 🙂 ---
### Author: ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505) #### Post date: [March 13, 2004, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bought-a-duck-today/230658/67 "2004-03-13T15:29:31Z")
> [@misstee](#): > > …just thought I would use this as a good excuse to hug you 🙂 Damn, my shoelace is untied. ☹ **Misstee** , please hold me? ---
### Author: ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright) #### Post date: [March 13, 2004, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bought-a-duck-today/230658/68 "2004-03-13T17:18:57Z")
> [@misstee](#): > > The duck died? > ((((( **RNA** ))))) > > I know what you mean, just thought I would use this as a good excuse to hug you 🙂 Er… why, yes, yes he did. \ He was such a good duck… the best friend a duck-owner could ask for. He didn’t \ deserve this… _subtly cops a feel_ ---
### Author: ![misstee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/958977/32.png) [@misstee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misstee) #### Post date: [March 13, 2004, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bought-a-duck-today/230658/69 "2004-03-13T17:44:19Z")
> [@Casey1505](#): > > Damn, my shoelace is untied. ☹ > **Misstee** , please hold me? :::: holds **Casey1505** ::::: ---
### Author: ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons) #### Post date: [March 13, 2004, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bought-a-duck-today/230658/70 "2004-03-13T19:15:27Z")
I could have _sworn_ this duck died back in February … ---
### Author: ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright) #### Post date: [March 13, 2004, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bought-a-duck-today/230658/71 "2004-03-13T19:42:11Z")
> [@Ponder Stibbons](#): > > I could have _sworn_ this duck died back in February … No, no, it was _ducknapped_. After paying a hefty ransom I now have all my ducks in a row again. ---
### Author: ![Critical\_Mass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f1d935/32.png) [@Critical\_Mass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Critical_Mass) #### Post date: [March 13, 2004, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bought-a-duck-today/230658/72 "2004-03-13T19:43:53Z")
That’s just ducky. ---
### Author: ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons) #### Post date: [March 13, 2004, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bought-a-duck-today/230658/73 "2004-03-13T20:02:46Z")
> [@Really Not All That Bright](#): > > No, no, it was _ducknapped_. After paying a hefty ransom I now have all my ducks in a row again. You know, I really hate to say this, RNATB, but you’re just quackers!!! ---
### Author: ![Kallessa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7993a0/32.png) [@Kallessa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kallessa) #### Post date: [March 13, 2004, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bought-a-duck-today/230658/74 "2004-03-13T20:22:10Z")
You need the help of a good dectictive to find those kidnappers before they try again. I suggest Jack Webb. ---
### Author: ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505) #### Post date: [March 13, 2004, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bought-a-duck-today/230658/75 "2004-03-13T20:38:33Z")
> [@misstee](#): > > :::: holds **Casey1505** ::::: That’s RNATB copping the feel. Not me. The thought had crossed my mind, but I’d be a day late and a dollar short, it appears. What’s a dectictive? ---
### Author: ![Lamar\_Mundane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lamar\_Mundane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamar_Mundane) #### Post date: [March 13, 2004, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bought-a-duck-today/230658/76 "2004-03-13T21:24:11Z")
I bought a duck in Reno. Just to hear him quack. ---
### Author: ![Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/earl_snake-hips_tucker/32/3269_2.png) [@Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earl_Snake-Hips_Tucker) #### Post date: [March 13, 2004, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bought-a-duck-today/230658/77 "2004-03-13T22:41:33Z")
This is the first I’ve seen this thread, but my first thought when I read > [@Really Not All That Bright](#): > > I bought a duck today. was “Somewhere, Joe Penner is smiling.” ---
### Author: ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright) #### Post date: [March 13, 2004, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bought-a-duck-today/230658/78 "2004-03-13T23:56:39Z")
> [@Earl Snake-Hips Tucker](#): > > my first thought when I read […] > was “Somewhere, Joe Penner is smiling.” Are we talking about Joe Penner the comedian or Joe Penner the porn star? ---
### Author: ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott) #### Post date: [March 14, 2004, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bought-a-duck-today/230658/79 "2004-03-14T18:17:09Z")
Dang it, now that I read through the whole thread \*as we’re supposed to do, \* I forgot what I was gonna say. “If feather I would leave you…” Nope, not that. “Send us your tires, your old cars, your scrap metal rusting to debris, and we’ll bill you later.” No, that wasn’t it. “A duck buys some ChapStick®, and…” Nope, not that one. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bought-a-duck-today/230658.md?page=3)