# I bought a van... give me ideas for it! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 31, 2010, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bought-a-van-give-me-ideas-for-it/534500 "2010-03-31T21:31:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Translucent\_Daydream](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/translucent_daydream/32/16170_2.png) [@Translucent\_Daydream](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Translucent_Daydream)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2010, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bought-a-van-give-me-ideas-for-it/534500/1 "2010-03-31T21:31:42Z")
So thanks to Craigslist and some extra dollars laying around, I am the proud owner of a $300 1997 Plymouth Voyager minivan. I drove it the 125 miles back to my house and it runs just fine. The interior is a little ratty (hell its a damn $300 dollar van). It has two bench seats and two captain chairs, and a tape deck, and smells a little dusty. As I have a nearly new Chevrolet Silverado, I was thinking about making this into a music festival camper van because I am going to Bonnaroo this June. My neighbor that went on this wild van-getting-quest gave me this input as to what to do with it: “Yeah man, this van is silver. You know what, dude??? You need to totally make this into a van with a mural of some epic battle on the side. Sort of like Paradise Lost or Mega Man vs. Hitler. You could do it up with Jerry Garcia stuff inside, because I know you love the Grateful Dead.” 😕 Yeah, he was high. But, it did get my gears working. What ideas could you think up of stuff to do for this van? Probably something a little better than “Mega Man vs. Hitler” but that is very awesome in its own right. I am going to document the whole thing in pictures and I can post them here if you want. I can get pictures of the van in its present condition tomorrow if that will help. ---
**Author:** ![sevenwood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6de8d8/32.png) [@sevenwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sevenwood)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2010, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bought-a-van-give-me-ideas-for-it/534500/2 "2010-03-31T22:00:22Z")
Whatever you do, [don’t wash it](http://www.arcamax.com/zits/s-711485-702965). ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2010, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bought-a-van-give-me-ideas-for-it/534500/3 "2010-03-31T22:11:37Z")
Take out the bench seats in back and build in a limo-style bench running around the inside walls. As for the outside, I’d go with a bright blue Rhino Liner paint job. If not that, go with Yoda vs Luck Dragon. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2010, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bought-a-van-give-me-ideas-for-it/534500/4 "2010-03-31T22:16:14Z")
If I ever paid for a custom title, it would almost certainly say “Mega Man vs. Hitler.” Sorry, I don’t have any advice for this thread, other than the obvious turn it into a love den suggestion. ---
**Author:** ![Translucent\_Daydream](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/translucent_daydream/32/16170_2.png) [@Translucent\_Daydream](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Translucent_Daydream)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2010, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bought-a-van-give-me-ideas-for-it/534500/5 "2010-03-31T22:36:19Z")
> [@garygnu](#): > > Take out the bench seats in back and build in a limo-style bench running around the inside walls. > > As for the outside, I’d go with a bright blue Rhino Liner paint job. If not that, go with Yoda vs Luck Dragon. I was thinking about this, but the van has dual sliding doors. Maybe I could make a sectional sofa for the back. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Translucent\_Daydream](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/translucent_daydream/32/16170_2.png) [@Translucent\_Daydream](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Translucent_Daydream)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2010, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bought-a-van-give-me-ideas-for-it/534500/6 "2010-03-31T22:37:20Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > If I ever paid for a custom title, it would almost certainly say “Mega Man vs. Hitler.” > > Sorry, I don’t have any advice for this thread, other than the obvious turn it into a love den suggestion. That can be arranged if you like! ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2010, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bought-a-van-give-me-ideas-for-it/534500/7 "2010-03-31T22:48:45Z")
I’d be tempted to paint “Free Candy!” on the sides and drive around parks and elementary schools to see how often the police would pull me over. But that’s just me… ---
**Author:** ![Translucent\_Daydream](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/translucent_daydream/32/16170_2.png) [@Translucent\_Daydream](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Translucent_Daydream)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2010, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bought-a-van-give-me-ideas-for-it/534500/8 "2010-03-31T22:54:32Z")
> [@Astroboy14](#): > > I’d be tempted to paint “Free Candy!” on the sides and drive around parks and elementary schools to see how often the police would pull me over. But that’s just me… [Like this?](http://episteme.arstechnica.com/eve/forums/a/ga/ul/267005882041/inlineimg/Y/free_candy_van.jpg) \*Very mild language in the link, but probably okay. ---
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2010, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bought-a-van-give-me-ideas-for-it/534500/9 "2010-03-31T23:08:26Z")
> [@Translucent\_Daydream](#): > > I was thinking about this, but the van has dual sliding doors. Maybe I could make a sectional sofa for the back. 😃 Actually, I grew up with the family van being a Ford Econoline and my dad built in benches on the side, for seating AND storage. Of course, we only had ONE sliding door, so if you have two then..well…um..nm! (That Econoline lasted over 35 years, and when my mom was run off the road into a ditch full of water, the thing was STILL RUNNING when the emergency crews came by. UNDERWATER MAGIC VAN!!!) Don’t underestimate the power of the van 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![boytyperanma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4491bb/32.png) [@boytyperanma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boytyperanma)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2010, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bought-a-van-give-me-ideas-for-it/534500/10 "2010-03-31T23:12:26Z")
> [@Translucent\_Daydream](#): > > [Like this?](http://episteme.arstechnica.com/eve/forums/a/ga/ul/267005882041/inlineimg/Y/free_candy_van.jpg) > > \*Very mild language in the link, but probably okay. Exactly the picture that came to my head when reading to Thread title. ---
**Author:** ![Translucent\_Daydream](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/translucent_daydream/32/16170_2.png) [@Translucent\_Daydream](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Translucent_Daydream)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2010, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bought-a-van-give-me-ideas-for-it/534500/11 "2010-03-31T23:23:32Z")
> [@Taomist](#): > > Actually, I grew up with the family van being a Ford Econoline and my dad built in benches on the side, for seating AND storage. Of course, we only had ONE sliding door, so if you have two then..well…um..nm! (That Econoline lasted over 35 years, and when my mom was run off the road into a ditch full of water, the thing was STILL RUNNING when the emergency crews came by. UNDERWATER MAGIC VAN!!!) > Don’t underestimate the power of the van 🆒 Thats a neat story! Every Econoline I have ever been in smells like either weed or latex paint. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![missred](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/missred/32/14096_2.png) [@missred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missred)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bought-a-van-give-me-ideas-for-it/534500/12 "2010-04-01T06:12:45Z")
Going to Bonneroo, perhaps something from this page or similar would be appropriate. [http://rockpopgallery.com/items/justin-hampton/list.htm?1=1](http://rockpopgallery.com/items/justin-hampton/list.htm?1=1)] ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 8:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bought-a-van-give-me-ideas-for-it/534500/13 "2010-04-01T08:55:25Z")
Definitely Mega Man vs. Hitler. And your last name in huge letters in an arch across the back window in Old English font. And a spoiler, made from only the finest plywood. OK a Stormtroopers vs. Zombie Nazis mural would be good too. If you do the Free Candy sign, make sure you have some really good candy. Strangers have the best candy. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 9:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bought-a-van-give-me-ideas-for-it/534500/14 "2010-04-01T09:50:33Z")
I wonder what power Mega Man gets from defeating Hitler… My only suggestion is to move your van down by the river and then live in it. ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 11:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bought-a-van-give-me-ideas-for-it/534500/15 "2010-04-01T11:07:37Z")
Have you thought about something like a [Frazetta-esque](http://roberthood.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/frazetta_a_princess_of_mars.jpg) Red Sonja riding a unicorn through outer space? ---
**Author:** ![belladonna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9fc29f/32.png) [@belladonna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/belladonna)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bought-a-van-give-me-ideas-for-it/534500/16 "2010-04-01T12:08:24Z")
The van my parents had back in the '70s was gutted, with shag carpeting thrown down and bean bags scattered about for seating. I can remember being a small toddler, rolling around in the back with every twist and turn (this was the '70s, car seats were not a part of my universe). So, I vote for shag carpeting and bean bags. Because that was fun. ---
**Author:** ![Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airman_Doors_USAF)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bought-a-van-give-me-ideas-for-it/534500/17 "2010-04-01T12:24:56Z")
Two words: sin bin. Make sure you get the cheesy airbrushed unicorn flying over the western landscape artwork on the side, and don’t forget the requisite “If this van’s rockin’ don’t come knockin’” bumper sticker. ---
**Author:** ![Translucent\_Daydream](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/translucent_daydream/32/16170_2.png) [@Translucent\_Daydream](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Translucent_Daydream)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bought-a-van-give-me-ideas-for-it/534500/18 "2010-04-01T13:18:27Z")
> [@hogarth](#): > > Have you thought about something like a [Frazetta-esque](http://roberthood.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/frazetta_a_princess_of_mars.jpg) Red Sonja riding a unicorn through outer space? Oh my god this picture is so awesome 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Translucent\_Daydream](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/translucent_daydream/32/16170_2.png) [@Translucent\_Daydream](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Translucent_Daydream)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bought-a-van-give-me-ideas-for-it/534500/19 "2010-04-01T13:21:18Z")
> [@Airman\_Doors\_USAF](#): > > Two words: sin bin. Make sure you get the cheesy airbrushed unicorn flying over the western landscape artwork on the side, and don’t forget the requisite “If this van’s rockin’ don’t come knockin’” bumper sticker. Well I was thinking how awesome it would be if I got a [wolf t-shirt](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Three_Wolf_Moon) and had art on the van that matched it, so I could stand out and liquify all of the women in the local area… ---
**Author:** ![Translucent\_Daydream](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/translucent_daydream/32/16170_2.png) [@Translucent\_Daydream](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Translucent_Daydream)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bought-a-van-give-me-ideas-for-it/534500/20 "2010-04-01T13:23:04Z")
> [@Autolycus](#): > > I wonder what power Mega Man gets from defeating Hitler… > > My only suggestion is to move your van down by the river and then live in it. Third Reich Berserker Rage, for ten second intervals. It has to charge up after use, though. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bought-a-van-give-me-ideas-for-it/534500.md?page=2)