# I bought my self-defense gun from a T Rex... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 27, 2018, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bought-my-self-defense-gun-from-a-t-rex/823597 "2018-10-27T17:49:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Lucas\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucas_jackson/32/303_2.png) [@Lucas\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucas_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2018, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bought-my-self-defense-gun-from-a-t-rex/823597/1 "2018-10-27T17:49:30Z")
He was a small arms dealer. Actually I shouldn’t even own a gun given my issues with alcohol. It kept me from becoming a lawyer - I couldn’t pass the bar. Not only that, it’s a gateway drug… to aspirin. So for now my relationship with whiskey is on the rocks. My friend from Quebec is a heavy drinker too. He drank Canada dry. Fortunately he’s a chemist, for him alcohol is not a problem, it’s a solution. ---
**Author:** ![jz78817](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jz78817/32/1028_2.png) [@jz78817](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jz78817)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2018, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bought-my-self-defense-gun-from-a-t-rex/823597/2 "2018-10-27T18:31:44Z")
Johnny was a chemist’s son, But Johnny is no more. For what Johnny thought was H2O Was H2SO4 ---
**Author:** ![Lucas\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucas_jackson/32/303_2.png) [@Lucas\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucas_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2018, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bought-my-self-defense-gun-from-a-t-rex/823597/3 "2018-10-27T23:22:39Z")
Things that tell the truth: Young children Drunk people Yoga pants ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2018, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bought-my-self-defense-gun-from-a-t-rex/823597/4 "2018-10-27T23:26:03Z")
My wife wanted me to dress as a flamingo for Halloween, but I had to put my foot down. ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2018, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bought-my-self-defense-gun-from-a-t-rex/823597/5 "2018-10-29T02:26:57Z")
You drinking H2O? I’ll have some H202! _eerk_ ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2018, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bought-my-self-defense-gun-from-a-t-rex/823597/6 "2018-10-29T02:33:07Z")
AuH[sub]2[/sub]O lost to LBJ. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2018, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bought-my-self-defense-gun-from-a-t-rex/823597/7 "2018-10-29T02:42:04Z")
All that glitters…ya know! ---
**Author:** ![Lucas\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucas_jackson/32/303_2.png) [@Lucas\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucas_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2018, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bought-my-self-defense-gun-from-a-t-rex/823597/8 "2018-10-29T03:56:41Z")
I don’t like pre-shredded cheese… … I want to make America grate again. ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2018, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bought-my-self-defense-gun-from-a-t-rex/823597/9 "2018-10-29T04:09:12Z")
Join the fight against the metric system. We don’t need no foreign rulers! ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2018, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bought-my-self-defense-gun-from-a-t-rex/823597/10 "2018-10-29T05:01:28Z")
> [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](#): > > AuH[sub]2[/sub]O lost to LBJ. Too bad 538’s Nate Ag wasn’t around then to predict that. ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2018, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bought-my-self-defense-gun-from-a-t-rex/823597/11 "2018-10-29T05:06:39Z")
Mary had a little sheep And with her sheep she went to sleep The sheep turned out to be a ram So, Mary had a little lamb ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2018, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bought-my-self-defense-gun-from-a-t-rex/823597/12 "2018-10-29T05:25:52Z")
I grew up participating in the Catholic Church. I never got fucked by the priest. I was the Alternate Boy. ---
**Author:** ![BobArrgh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobarrgh/32/2881_2.png) [@BobArrgh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobArrgh)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2018, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bought-my-self-defense-gun-from-a-t-rex/823597/13 "2018-10-29T12:30:11Z")
Get off the stove, Granny … you’re too old to ride the range. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2018, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bought-my-self-defense-gun-from-a-t-rex/823597/14 "2018-10-29T12:45:55Z")
> [@jz78817](#): > > Johnny was a chemist’s son, > But Johnny is no more. > For what Johnny thought was H2O > Was H2SO4 Little Willie from his mirror Sucked the mercury all off, Thinking, in his childish error, It would cure his whooping-cough. At the funeral, Willie’s mother Smartly said to Mrs. Brown, “T was a chilly day for William When the mercury went down.” ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2018, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bought-my-self-defense-gun-from-a-t-rex/823597/15 "2018-10-29T13:34:29Z")
> [@Bullitt](#): > > Mary had a little sheep > And with her sheep she went to sleep > The sheep turned out to be a ram > So, **Mary had a little lamb** …The doctor died of shock. (bolding mine) ---
**Author:** ![JB99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/439d5e/32.png) [@JB99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JB99)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2018, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bought-my-self-defense-gun-from-a-t-rex/823597/16 "2018-10-29T13:53:08Z")
A biologist gave birth to twins. She named the first one ‘Mary’ and the second one ‘Control.’ ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2018, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bought-my-self-defense-gun-from-a-t-rex/823597/17 "2018-10-29T14:32:13Z")
> [@Bullitt](#): > > Mary had a little sheep > And with her sheep she went to sleep > The sheep turned out to be a ram > **So, Mary had a little lamb** > [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](#): > > …The doctor died of shock. > > (bolding mine) The doctor’s partner was unimpressed, having been in attendance the week before, when Old MacDonald had a farm… ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2018, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bought-my-self-defense-gun-from-a-t-rex/823597/18 "2018-10-29T14:37:20Z")
Mary had a little car She drove in a manner deft But every time she signalled right The little car turned left. ---
**Author:** ![EmilyG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emilyg/32/364_2.png) [@EmilyG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmilyG)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2018, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bought-my-self-defense-gun-from-a-t-rex/823597/19 "2018-10-29T14:41:42Z")
> [@Lucas\_Jackson](#): > > My friend from Quebec is a heavy drinker too. He drank Canada dry. Fortunately he’s a chemist, for him alcohol is not a problem, it’s a solution. Guess he wasn’t a separatist 😉 ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2018, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bought-my-self-defense-gun-from-a-t-rex/823597/20 "2018-10-29T14:44:41Z")
> [@Bullitt](#): > > Mary had a little sheep > And with her sheep she went to sleep > The sheep turned out to be a ram > So, Mary had a little lamb [I just can’t help myself:](https://goo.gl/images/vcCi1A) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-bought-my-self-defense-gun-from-a-t-rex/823597.md?page=2)