# I broke 12.5 years of sobriety. (Update) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 25, 2011, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-broke-12-5-years-of-sobriety-update/568908 "2011-01-25T11:46:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2011, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-broke-12-5-years-of-sobriety-update/568908/21 "2011-01-25T19:14:22Z")
My dad was an alcoholic while I was growing up. It sucked. Then he got into a DUI accident and it sucked worse than all things sucky can suck. Then he quit (I was in 6th grade) and I thought it was the best thing ever and that he was the best guy ever. I even filled out this assignment about “Your Hero” about how my dad was my hero because he quit drinking. Then a year or so later, he started up again. I was devastated. I am still devastated, 15-some years on. As an adult. I hate it and I hate his drinking. You know what? I spent the next 5 years of school pondering how I could get ahold of that old assignment to change “Your Hero” to anyone but my dad. It weighs on my mind, still to this day. My dad was never/is not a “party boy.” He’s not a mean drunk or anything. I know he drinks because he’s socially awkward. So am I, but I don’t drink. I don’t forgive him for it. I hate it. I don’t hate him but I think very negatively of him. I know he could do/be so much more if he wasn’t an alcoholic. I know I would enjoy my time with him more if he wasn’t an alcoholic. I know his grandbaby will enjoy him more if he wasn’t an alcoholic. I have a friend who is just about to turn 30. She has a husband and a kid and a life of her own. She just found out that her dad started drinking again after 12 years. She is freaking out about it. She hates it. She’s devastated. Just like me. Now we have to get together and counsel each other on being the kids of ex-but-not-anymore-alcoholics. This also sucks. Don’t think you’re not affecting anyone else by drinking. Especially not your kids. Your kids don’t hate you but I guarantee they are disappointed by you and ashamed of you. If not yet, soon enough. Good riddance. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2011, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-broke-12-5-years-of-sobriety-update/568908/22 "2011-01-25T19:54:10Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > If you are truly concerned about the OP’s drinking, I think it would go better if you didn’t actually attack him. > > I am concerned for one reason: He knows this is the type of response he’d get, and yet he felt a need to share with us. That smacks of needing validation. That is not a good sign. It implies you suspect that something may be going wrong. These two sentences seem to be conflicting thoughts, but putting that aside, it seems that you would have us further enable his bad behavior by being all touchy-feely. Fuck that. As someone from a family of drunks, I am unable to cut him any slack. In fact, it’s the worst thing anybody can do for him. ---
**Author:** ![Nadir](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nadir/32/7302_2.png) [@Nadir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nadir)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2011, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-broke-12-5-years-of-sobriety-update/568908/23 "2011-01-25T19:56:40Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > …I am unable to cut him any slack. In fact, it’s the worst thing anybody can do for him. Yep. Sounds like he’s looking for slack. ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2011, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-broke-12-5-years-of-sobriety-update/568908/24 "2011-01-25T20:03:42Z")
Wow, a lot of judgment here, and I’m not exactly sure why. Heck, I’m not a big fan of folk running up debt and declaring personal bankruptcy, but I sure don’t think the OP is unique among Americans (or even Dopers). been a while since I did any bankruptcy work - don’t recall how specific they get in terms of what you spend your money on. But if he can do it under the law, more power to him. I’m confident the credit card companies will be doing watever they can get away with under the law, so I don’t see why he should do any different. And I don’t see that the situation he describes necessarily makes him a bad parent. Lots of people get divorced and seem to handle it a lot worse than the OP. His was pretty amicable, he never drinks around the kids, pays fair support and sees them regularly. Hell, if he’s happy in his current life, I’d say he’s presenting a darned good modl for the kidlings. Like I said, his situation seems to contain considerably more drama than I prefer for myself. But I’m guessing at least some posters are basing their criticisms in large part on some considerable personal bagage of their own. ---
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2011, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-broke-12-5-years-of-sobriety-update/568908/25 "2011-01-25T20:06:23Z")
> [@fifty-six](#): > > I have had the most fantastic, stimulating, gut wrenching, hard, over the top fun, scary, fitful, liberating year of my life. New friends new life, new business. I write now. I suck at grammar and spelling because I did not goto high school but with extra diligence I can make stories happen. For whatever reason, this is an awesome little blurb. It makes me happy. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2011, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-broke-12-5-years-of-sobriety-update/568908/26 "2011-01-25T20:13:12Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > As someone from a family of drunks, I am unable to cut him any slack. In fact, it’s the worst thing anybody can do for him. So because of your own baggage you can’t cut someone else some slack becuase since your family was/is jacked up it then it must be that way for everyone. Nice. ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2011, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-broke-12-5-years-of-sobriety-update/568908/27 "2011-01-25T21:31:26Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > One thing that strikes me from the OP is that it sounds like your marriage was crappy, and you’re better out of it, but you started drinking again at about the same time you ended your marriage, and you might be mistakenly attributing all the positive changes in your life to drinking again, instead of just being out of a bad marriage. How do you get that his marriage was crappy? I get that he would rather fool around with youner women, and that he incurred a lot of debt while married, but nothing in that screams “crappy” to me. In face, in the [Prisoner](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=9172864&postcount=61) thread (just a little over 3 years ago) he calls her _a wonderful woman_ and seems to credit her with a lot of great things in his life. I think maybe he didn’t particularly want to be married anymore, but that’s not the same thing as a crappy marriage. ---
**Author:** ![Merneith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/57b2e6/32.png) [@Merneith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merneith)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2011, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-broke-12-5-years-of-sobriety-update/568908/28 "2011-01-25T22:07:07Z")
Just for comparison, here’s the OP from that thread fifty-six started eighteen months ago and linked to in the first post. > [@](#): > > I broke 12.5 years of sobriety > A couple months ago I drank a bottle of champagne with a girl. Then tried a few more drink and some beers with a few other girls. Just last night gave hard liquor a try for the first time. Just a few shots. > > I am not sure about it. I can not seem to drink enough to get drunk. I kinda want to get drunk but it seems just old programing as I seem happy with at most three drinks on occasion. It is a whole new learning experience for me. > > So far I just seem to like wine. A drink I rarely drank in my drinking and drugging days. > > It is so different now. So completely different. I suppose I could fall off the deep end anytime. I could be playing with fire but it does seem different. I have not touched any drugs and don’t really desire to. > > It is still early and I don’t really know what to think of it all. I kinda became so tired of my identity for the last 20+ years being obsessed with drinking and then not drinking and my identity being bound by that. I wanted to move on. I loved being sober but felt I was holding on to dates and identities that were holding me back, we will see. Almost no one knows though. > > Some may say that I was never an alcoholic if I can drink now. I am not so sure of that. > > mundane and pointless post. Just for the curious. ---
**Author:** ![sleestak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/919ad9/32.png) [@sleestak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sleestak)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2011, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-broke-12-5-years-of-sobriety-update/568908/29 "2011-01-25T22:15:39Z")
I know 4 people who started drinking again this year after prolonged sobriety. They were all in A.A. Of the four, three are dead. One died from kidney failure. One did a murder/suicide. One died in an accident while drunk. The last guy is back in the program. He managed to, in the 8 or so months he was drinking, lose his wife, his job, his house, his car and his family. He is now back in the program. He is living on a couch and looking for a job. He is in his late 50’s. That is this year alone. Of course, if you have been in A.A. you’ve seen this kind of stuff as well. I hope that you don’t end up dead like some of my friends. Maybe your outcome will be better than those who have tried it before you. If not, find a meeting. Good luck. Slee ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2011, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-broke-12-5-years-of-sobriety-update/568908/30 "2011-01-25T22:31:48Z")
> [@Tahssa](#): > > So because of your own baggage you can’t cut someone else some slack becuase since your family was/is jacked up it then it must be that way for everyone. Nice. Absolutely correct. Alcoholics lie, cheat, steal and lie some more to justify their behavior. This guy is no different than any other of a million drunks. Or are you saying that he’s a special case just because he’s posting here and “baring his soul”? That would be naivete in the extreme. He’s looking for people to say “oh, that’s okay, continue to be a deadbeat and a poor example to your children” so he can justify that next bender. By the way: did you miss the part in the OP, wherein he basically says that he’s a deadbeat and a binge drinker, living in squalor and nearly bankrupt? ---
**Author:** ![Merneith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/57b2e6/32.png) [@Merneith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merneith)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2011, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-broke-12-5-years-of-sobriety-update/568908/31 "2011-01-25T22:46:40Z")
Reconsidered. Not helpful. ---
**Author:** ![fifty-six](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@fifty-six](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fifty-six)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2011, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-broke-12-5-years-of-sobriety-update/568908/32 "2011-01-25T23:07:08Z")
> [@Dinsdale](#): > > Your life sounds like a fast-paced ride to this boring old fart, but it doesn’t sound as tho your present drinking and occasional pot smoking are any detraction. Congrats on finding a comfortable place and good luck. It is fast paced. My life always has been. > [@Chefguy](#): > > So you have money to drink, but not to pay your debts? Nice. I am not spending much on my booze. 75.00 a month at most. > [@Merneith](#): > > Morbid curiosity: what does the phrase “keeps me in line” mean to you? Guys encourage reckless behaviour much more so than women. They are less afraid of telling me to check my ego or that my psychosis is getting out of line. > [@Mtgman](#): > > What I’ve noticed about the addicts I’ve known in my life is that they blow through the warning signs. In fact that’s the main thing that marks them as addicts instead of people having a good time occasionally. > > You seem to be blowing through the warning signs pretty fast. In your other thread you mentioned you run a restaurant where you met some of these younger girls. Are you likely to put their jobs in jeopardy with your upcoming bankruptcy? That would be a hell of a way to pay them back for what you believe has been a good influence on you. > > Enjoy, > Steven We have been great influences on each other. They are safe and secure. I put the business in one of their names. > [@Chefguy](#): > > Deliberately paying out money for leisure activities rather than for accrued debt is pretty much the definition of “deadbeat”, and Alaska is full of end-of-the-roaders living in shacks and dodging responsibility. I don’t really live in a shack. It is a nice set of cabins that I restored. I put a lot of time and energy into them. They are really nice and I dont pay rent. Nancy Hilstrand the matriarch of The Spit and the Time Bandit gave them to me for for fixing. I am respected and trusted. Responsible and effective. > [@Ogre](#): > > You’re a child. Grow the fuck up and take responsibility for the shit you have inflicted on yourself and your family. I pay well over the required amount of child support. I help my ex almost daily. > [@alice\_in\_wonderland](#): > > I’m so glad I’m not the only one who thought this reading the OP. > > Seriously, drinking more days than you don’t, ditching your wife to fool around with women half your age, and blowing off debt that you incurred so you can party doesn’t make you a good parent. > > **However, I suspect ‘Good Parent’ is pretty low on your list of goals.** I volunteer at my 4 yo sons school every Monday. I bring the bread dough for them with frequency. I help my daughter with school work every day. Parents trust me enough to have their children spend the night. I car pool a bunch of my daughters friends to jazz class. I go to school meetings. The schools equally call me as their mom for issues. My children are welcome at my workplace. In a full rank of professional chefs I invited my daughter this year to be my partner in. A cooking competition benefiting The Family Planning Clinic. We got 2nd. She is the youngest by far to participate. I refused to participate unless she could be my partner. I was the defending champ, > [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > One thing that strikes me from the OP is that it sounds like your marriage was crappy, and you’re better out of it, but you started drinking again at about the same time you ended your marriage, and you might be mistakenly attributing all the positive changes in your life to drinking again, instead of just being out of a bad marriage. I mentioned that may be the case. > [@BigT](#): > > If you are truly concerned about the OP’s drinking, I think it would go better if you didn’t actually attack him. > > I am concerned for one reason: He knows this is the type of response he’d get, and yet he felt a need to share with us. That smacks of needing validation. That is not a good sign. It implies you suspect that something may be going wrong. > > This is something you need to investigate, OP. You need to be 100% honest with yourself. Maybe you haven’t fallen completely off yet, but you are showing the classic signs of not paying attention to your psychological needs, and that is very likely to lead to the same problem you had before. > > At the very least, please get yourself to a psychologist who can help you with your OCD and other issues, so you won’t be self-medicating, which can again lead to the problem you had before. (Heck, I suspect most alcoholics got that way because they were self medicating.) Insightful. My ex wife is a most wonderful women. The best ever. But she has a poisonous mean streak and it was crippling me. She is a large part of our debt. But so am I and several failed side business ventures on our parts. The divorce was financially straining. I know I should pay it I just ain’t gonna. Children first. My total monthly expenses including alcohol are less than 500.00 it is winter, things are lean the rest goes to them. We just accrued to much debt when I was making much more. Partly because the strained marriage was causing us to spend like crazy. And become unsuccessful in our endeavors. > [@Chefguy](#): > > Absolutely correct. Alcoholics lie, cheat, steal and lie some more to justify their behavior. This guy is no different than any other of a million drunks. Or are you saying that he’s a special case just because he’s posting here and “baring his soul”? That would be naivete in the extreme. **He’s looking for people to say "oh, that’s okay,** continue to be a deadbeat and a poor example to your children" so he can justify that next bender. By the way: did you miss the part in the OP, wherein he basically says that he’s a deadbeat and a binge drinker, living in squalor and nearly bankrupt? Where do you get this Chefguy? Squalor? It is a cabin with no running water. That does not equal squalor. I installed lighting and cabinetry in my two stall outhouse. I haul my water like many people. It is clean and nice and warm and safe. Cut and split my wood. It is lovely really. I may not be paying my cc debt but I pay everything else. And make sure my family is fed and taken care of. Not completely a deadbeat. I asked for this by posting an update. I new it would come like this. I am OK with whatever anyone has to say. I am sure my responses will be considered my many to be denial and rationalization. And this used as a platform for moralistic grandstanding. I asked for people to ask anything and challenge everything. I did not ask for anyone to say it is OK. So fare much more assumptions than questions and challenges. Whatever. Thanks for responding I was shocked this morning to see all of them. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2011, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-broke-12-5-years-of-sobriety-update/568908/33 "2011-01-25T23:07:48Z")
> [@lorene](#): > > How do you get that his marriage was crappy? I get that he would rather fool around with youner women, and that he incurred a lot of debt while married, but nothing in that screams “crappy” to me. In face, in the [Prisoner](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=9172864&postcount=61) thread (just a little over 3 years ago) he calls her _a wonderful woman_ and seems to credit her with a lot of great things in his life. > > I think maybe he didn’t particularly want to be married anymore, but that’s not the same thing as a crappy marriage. From the OP: > [@fifty-six](#): > > \ she, I think, got sickened of hearing complain about my marriage\ I got a divorce that I couldent quite muster up the courage for before drinking. \. I took that to mean crappy marriage; the OP is free to correct me. If the OP is not hurting anyone including himself, if he only has a couple of drinks a week, if his kids don’t mind (or start to mind as they get older and become more aware of how their family is different from other families), if he doesn’t get in trouble with the law at any point, if he continues to pay all the bills he is supposed to pay (which he isn’t doing now), if he is still a contributing member of society, I’d say his drinking isn’t a problem. If any of these fall apart, it would be preferable for him not to drink. If he can keep it at a couple of drinks a week for the rest of his life, good for him. He was the very definition of a dry alcoholic before that, so I don’t know which is better. **fifty-six** , I took this part out because you’ve explained much better how you’re handling things. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2011, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-broke-12-5-years-of-sobriety-update/568908/34 "2011-01-25T23:16:59Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > If you are truly concerned about the OP’s drinking, I think it would go better if you didn’t actually attack him. > > I am concerned for one reason: He knows this is the type of response he’d get, and yet he felt a need to share with us. That smacks of needing validation. That is not a good sign. It implies you suspect that something may be going wrong. This is a bunch of bullshit. It took my uncle kicking her out of the house for my aunt\* to finally admitting she needed help. If anyone needs a slap across the face, it’s the OP. Being nice isn’t going to help him at all. \*I wish my aunt had gotten that slap earlier. Despite being sober and going into rehab and AA, she ended up dying of an infection several months later. Her body didn’t have the chance to fight it off because she was still recovering from years of damage. My cousins were 9 and 4. My grandmother never got over her death. ---
**Author:** ![eno801](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c2a13f/32.png) [@eno801](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eno801)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2011, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-broke-12-5-years-of-sobriety-update/568908/35 "2011-01-25T23:30:28Z")
wow quite of bit of baggage here, and I don’t mean the op. “ooh daddy was a horrible drunk” Hey man too bad your old man couldn’t handle his liquor and broke your heart, but I’ve met men like the op who are straight stand up guys that just happen to like to drink. and don’t go “off the rails”. Most happily married no DUI’s, kidney failures, or deaths involved. Maybe the op will hit rock bottom maybe he won’t it ain’t a given. I also know quite of few completely sober people who are deadbeat bankruptees and serial cheaters to boot. ---
**Author:** ![Nadir](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nadir/32/7302_2.png) [@Nadir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nadir)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2011, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-broke-12-5-years-of-sobriety-update/568908/36 "2011-01-25T23:32:39Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > … if he only has a couple of drinks a week, I took this to mean he was drinking alot, almost every day and getting shit faced at least once a week: > [@fifty-six](#): > > I drink regularly. About 3-4 days a week. Get drunk, or mayby way drunk once a week or a bit more or less. The other times just a few. A few for me is 2-4 drinks. I drink everything now. And enjoy it. I do not hide my drinking. Although I never drink a drop around my kids. 11 and 4. I have had no legal trouble. I make no attempts at controlling my drinking and never have since I started. I drink how much I want and when I want and what I want. I sleap better I am more social. Less anxiety and a bit less OCD. No outbursts or violence. In fact I am less violent and fight prone. I am guessing he is less violent and fight prone due to constant sedation. ---
**Author:** ![PandaBear77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@PandaBear77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PandaBear77)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2011, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-broke-12-5-years-of-sobriety-update/568908/37 "2011-01-26T00:37:17Z")
I was thinking about the original thread just the other day. Very disappointing, OP. I feel so sorry for your kids ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2011, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-broke-12-5-years-of-sobriety-update/568908/38 "2011-01-26T01:09:01Z")
**fifty-six** , why did you post this? I’m honestly not sure what else to say. You sound like you’re a good parent and a very free-spirited, risk-taking, and well-liked member of your community. It also sounds like those risks you are taking might not be very wise, that you’re quite possibly self-medicating your life’s issues with booze, and that, well, I just get the impression that everything could go terribly wrong in less time than you’d think. I sincerely wish you the best of luck. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2011, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-broke-12-5-years-of-sobriety-update/568908/39 "2011-01-26T01:26:31Z")
> [@fifty-six](#): > > I am not spending much on my booze. 75.00 a month at most. > > \ > > I don’t really live in a shack. It is a nice set of cabins that I restored. I put a lot of time and energy into them. They are really nice and I dont pay rent. Nancy Hilstrand the matriarch of The Spit and the Time Bandit gave them to me for for fixing. I am respected and trusted. Responsible and effective. > > \ > > Where do you get this Chefguy? Squalor? It is a cabin with no running water. That does not equal squalor. I installed lighting and cabinetry in my two stall outhouse. I haul my water like many people. It is clean and nice and warm and safe. Cut and split my wood. It is lovely really. I may not be paying my cc debt but I pay everything else. And make sure my family is fed and taken care of. Not completely a deadbeat. You asked for comment, not debate. I’m done. ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2011, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-broke-12-5-years-of-sobriety-update/568908/40 "2011-01-26T01:32:28Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > From the OP:I took that to mean crappy marriage; the OP is free to correct me. OK, perhaps I was being overly nit-picky. My point is and was that there’s nothing that said explicitly that the marriage itself was crappy (at least not for him). He seems to have wanted to sow his wild oats in addition to or instead of having a wife, and that might have made him himself ill-suited for marriage, or maybe in his self-destructiveness decided (on whatever level) to throw away something that was actually quite wonderful. Again, not really the point of the thread anyhow. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-broke-12-5-years-of-sobriety-update/568908.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-broke-12-5-years-of-sobriety-update/568908.md?page=3)