# I broke into a house and took a dump ... **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [August 2, 2001, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-broke-into-a-house-and-took-a-dump/74679 "2001-08-02T19:25:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![mazzer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eada6e/32.png) [@mazzer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mazzer)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2001, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-broke-into-a-house-and-took-a-dump/74679/1 "2001-08-02T19:25:20Z")
… in the middle of the living room floor. Assuming I left behind no other evidence like hair or skin or blood or fingerprints, can they trace it back to me? How? ---
**Author:** ![SouprChckn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5f9b8f/32.png) [@SouprChckn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouprChckn)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2001, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-broke-into-a-house-and-took-a-dump/74679/2 "2001-08-02T19:29:47Z")
I have nothing to add really, I just think this question is real funny. Makes me think you have some sort of plan for some hilarious mischief. Also, if the person looking through your shit had enough resources, it shouldn’t be impossible to find some traces of your DNA in there. Skin cells or something. I mean, its traveling through your body, there has to be some trace of its digestive journey. ---
**Author:** ![City\_Gent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a87d85/32.png) [@City\_Gent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/City_Gent)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2001, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-broke-into-a-house-and-took-a-dump/74679/3 "2001-08-02T19:30:52Z")
There’s probably bits of epithelial tissue and blood in your dump that got dragged off your intestines during its transit. That would contain your DNA. Assuming they could separate the tissue from the other stuff, and assuming they could stand the revolting stench, you’d be nailed. So my advice is to catch a stray dog and let him do it. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2001, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-broke-into-a-house-and-took-a-dump/74679/4 "2001-08-02T19:31:33Z")
They can fire another turd out your ass, and compare the markings. Oh wait, that’s bullets, never mind… ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2001, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-broke-into-a-house-and-took-a-dump/74679/5 "2001-08-02T19:33:05Z")
I’m just glad this isn’t another sing a long thread ---
**Author:** ![mazzer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eada6e/32.png) [@mazzer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mazzer)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2001, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-broke-into-a-house-and-took-a-dump/74679/6 "2001-08-02T19:33:08Z")
Damn. ---
**Author:** ![mazzer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eada6e/32.png) [@mazzer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mazzer)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2001, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-broke-into-a-house-and-took-a-dump/74679/7 "2001-08-02T19:36:26Z")
What about pee? ---
**Author:** ![shannybonanny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@shannybonanny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shannybonanny)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2001, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-broke-into-a-house-and-took-a-dump/74679/8 "2001-08-02T19:37:57Z")
From what I know, all body secretions contain DNA, which is how they identify people who leave behind skin cells. Fecal matter would too, since it contains waste products from red blood cells. Um…would you actually take anything **besides** a large dump? Or is this just a random poo-through? ---
**Author:** ![Olentzero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/90ced4/32.png) [@Olentzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olentzero)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2001, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-broke-into-a-house-and-took-a-dump/74679/9 "2001-08-02T19:54:30Z")
The longer this board stays up, the more likely it is that these things have been addressed before. Hell, give us another twenty years and we’ll have the edge on the _Encyclopaedia_ freakin’ _Britannica_. [Can a booger be used as DNA evidence?](http://www.straightdope.com/mailbag/mbooger.html) It speaks briefly about the forensic difficulties of getting a DNA analysis from poop but the gist seems to be - yes, it can be done. But I can’t imagine anyone really wanting to go so far as to call in the county forensic unit to analyze the sequelae of a drive-by turd attack (dibs on the band name!), nor would I imagine the county forensic unit would want to waste much time on it. Unless it were done to Bill Gates or something. ---
**Author:** ![manhattan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manhattan/32/7_2.png) [@manhattan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manhattan)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2001, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-broke-into-a-house-and-took-a-dump/74679/10 "2001-08-02T19:55:25Z")
Believe it or not, this was touched upon (heh) briefly (heh heh) in a Staff Report about [Booger DNA](http://www.straightdope.com/mailbag/mbooger.html). Is this site complete, or what? ---
**Author:** ![manhattan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manhattan/32/7_2.png) [@manhattan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manhattan)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2001, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-broke-into-a-house-and-took-a-dump/74679/11 "2001-08-02T19:56:48Z")
Drat. Good show, **Olentzero**. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2001, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-broke-into-a-house-and-took-a-dump/74679/12 "2001-08-02T20:02:45Z")
Guess you’ll just have to satisfy yourself by eating foreign foods for three days straight and farting raucously. 'course, then you’d be easy to track… ---
**Author:** ![Opengrave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/919ad9/32.png) [@Opengrave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Opengrave)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2001, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-broke-into-a-house-and-took-a-dump/74679/13 "2001-08-02T20:05:00Z")
\ A guy actually did this at my lakehouse - he was nice enough to wipe himself with the bedspread before he took our VCR and stereo… …the police caught him though, in a town of 425 not much goes un-noticed. The shopkeeper of the store just up the hill noticed a guy come in that had all sorts of cuts on his hands/wrist. The shopkeeper knew that we had been broken in to by smashing the glass on the door and reaching in and unlocking the door. He phoned the cops who went to the guys house and what did they find in the back seat of his car? Our VCR and stereo. No DNA needed. Please return to your normal thread now kiddies.\ ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2001, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-broke-into-a-house-and-took-a-dump/74679/14 "2001-08-02T20:15:50Z")
When I was in school, a strange man used to sneak into Hamilton, one of the academic buildings, at night and smear his faeces all over the chalkboards on the seventh floor. He became known as the Hamilton Repeat Defecator. He was caught in flagrante delicto with his sweatpants around his ankles and his hands on the chalkboard. ---
**Author:** ![Amazing\_Magic-Gro\_Monster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e95f7d/32.png) [@Amazing\_Magic-Gro\_Monster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazing_Magic-Gro_Monster)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2001, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-broke-into-a-house-and-took-a-dump/74679/15 "2001-08-02T20:29:24Z")
Hey, is that guy still looking for a name for his band? “Federal Poop Regestry” sounds like a good name. ---
**Author:** ![flyboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/4da419/32.png) [@flyboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flyboy)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2001, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-broke-into-a-house-and-took-a-dump/74679/16 "2001-08-02T20:36:46Z")
Okay, but I have to ask-- So they have your DNA. Big whoop. Unless they already have your DNA on file, they have nothing to compare it to, right? ---
**Author:** ![kniz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c37758/32.png) [@kniz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kniz)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2001, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-broke-into-a-house-and-took-a-dump/74679/17 "2001-08-02T20:39:28Z")
**Pretty SHITTY evidence!** [list]😛 ---
**Author:** ![cuauhtemoc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecb155/32.png) [@cuauhtemoc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cuauhtemoc)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2001, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-broke-into-a-house-and-took-a-dump/74679/18 "2001-08-02T21:01:52Z")
I’m literally crying. This is absolutely priceless. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2001, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-broke-into-a-house-and-took-a-dump/74679/19 "2001-08-02T23:52:26Z")
The title of this thread sounds like a promising start to a nursery rhyme. But in regard to DNA analysis of urine - yes, it’s possible. Cells exfoliate from the bladder, urethra etc. when you pee, and are routinely analyzed for signs of malignancy (and undergo DNA analysis in patients with a history of bladder cancer). The subject of DNA fingerprinting to evaluate urine goes back to the early days of the technique. In Joseph Wambaugh’s _The Blooding_, a book about the first application of DNA testing in a murder case, the scientist who pioneered the technique gets a letter from the proprietor of an inn who wants to know if DNA fingerprinting can be used to catch guests who surreptitiously wet the beds. Beware. ---
**Author:** ![kanicbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f8ce5/32.png) [@kanicbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kanicbird)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2001, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-broke-into-a-house-and-took-a-dump/74679/20 "2001-08-02T23:56:57Z")
With all the talk about napster alternitives being banned how is talking about this illegal activity not being banned. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-broke-into-a-house-and-took-a-dump/74679.md?page=2)