# I burning Christmas toy packaging **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 25, 2009, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-burning-christmas-toy-packaging/522579 "2009-12-25T20:15:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2009, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-burning-christmas-toy-packaging/522579/1 "2009-12-25T20:15:03Z")
When I was a kid, Christmas toys came loosely packaged in a cardboard or metal box (anybody remember the metal boxes for crayons?). You opened up the top and dumped out the booty. No muss, no fuss. Now I’ve spent most of the morning gouging my hand trying to open inpenetrable clamshell packages, every goddamn tiny piece of every toy is minutely wired to the packages by these physics defying plastic wires that always twist tighter, no matter what direction you twist them in, Some parts are held in place by those plastic handcuff things with the ratcheted teeth which appear to have been designed to be able to opened with nothing but a steak knife. The worst is the electronic drum kit that is not just wired but _screwed_ to the packaging with metal screws. Not just metal screws, but the really tiny ones that you can’t use a regular screwdriver on, but you have to go find an eyeglasses repair kit, or (as I did) end up using the tip of the same fucking steak knife and stripping the shit out of the crossheads. Then the battery compartments all have the same tiny screws. Why do toy manufacturers package this crap like this? I wish they’d go back to the simple cardboard boxes, or better yet, those awesome old metal boxes with the simple pop-off lid. How the fuck are you _supposed_ to open this shit? Is there a really simple method of getting into a clamshell package that I’ve just never been clued into? Children aren’t supposed to grow up with memories of daddy on Chritmas morning trying to gnaw his way into a package of Barbie accessories, saying “open up, you fucking cocksucker, I’ll fucking _melt_ you.” ---
**Author:** ![Nametag](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nametag/32/406_2.png) [@Nametag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nametag)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2009, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-burning-christmas-toy-packaging/522579/2 "2009-12-25T20:24:26Z")
Compound-action snips. They cut through plastic, wires, and tiny screws. ---
**Author:** ![beo.thuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7ab992/32.png) [@beo.thuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beo.thuck)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2009, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-burning-christmas-toy-packaging/522579/3 "2009-12-25T20:25:16Z")
I often suspect that the intention of the manufacturer is for the consumer to BREAK the product as they are opening the package. ---
**Author:** ![Gorsnak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gorsnak/32/7587_2.png) [@Gorsnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorsnak)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2009, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-burning-christmas-toy-packaging/522579/4 "2009-12-25T20:46:28Z")
Just have to use the [right tool for the job](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/8d/Rpg-7.jpg), and they open right up. Piece of cake, really. ---
**Author:** ![SanibelMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@SanibelMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanibelMan)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2009, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-burning-christmas-toy-packaging/522579/5 "2009-12-25T20:56:56Z")
I noticed Amazon now offers “frustration-free” packaging, where the item just comes in a plain cardboard box. My dad ordered a Fisher-Price camera for my daughter than came like that. Just the camera, wrapped in plastic, in a cardboard box. No muss, no fuss. I hope it catches on. ---
**Author:** ![ivn1188](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e480ec/32.png) [@ivn1188](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivn1188)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2009, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-burning-christmas-toy-packaging/522579/6 "2009-12-25T21:10:19Z")
Blame shoplifters. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2009, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-burning-christmas-toy-packaging/522579/7 "2009-12-25T22:40:46Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > […]Children aren’t supposed to grow up with memories of daddy on Chritmas morning trying to gnaw his way into a package of Barbie accessories, saying “open up, you fucking cocksucker, I’ll fucking _melt_ you.” As long as it’s not the Barbie you’re trying to open, it should be okay. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2009, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-burning-christmas-toy-packaging/522579/8 "2009-12-26T00:37:26Z")
> [@SanibelMan](#): > > I noticed Amazon now offers “frustration-free” packaging, where the item just comes in a plain cardboard box. My dad ordered a Fisher-Price camera for my daughter than came like that. Just the camera, wrapped in plastic, in a cardboard box. No muss, no fuss. I hope it catches on. That’s what I came in to say. We got The Littlest Briston a 135,000-piece Fisher Price train set – the store-bought version would require about a week and a bandsaw to open, the frustration-free version required one zip of the x-acto knife to slice the tape. ---
**Author:** ![Acid\_Lamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Acid\_Lamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acid_Lamp)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2009, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-burning-christmas-toy-packaging/522579/9 "2009-12-26T00:48:39Z")
I hate those things too. I’ve found two solutions that work equally well. Solution one: stab the fucker with my pocketknife and slice the whole top off and rip it open. Solution two: use the little power snips that Ryobi makes and nibble the package open cleanly. ETA: **Nashiitashii** informs me that can openers also work well. ---
**Author:** ![Squink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5e925/32.png) [@Squink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squink)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2009, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-burning-christmas-toy-packaging/522579/10 "2009-12-26T01:12:09Z")
> [@ivn1188](#): > > Blame shoplifters. Cheap oil. ---
**Author:** ![HongKongFooey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c4cdca/32.png) [@HongKongFooey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HongKongFooey)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2009, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-burning-christmas-toy-packaging/522579/11 "2009-12-26T01:23:41Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > Children aren’t supposed to grow up with memories of daddy on Chritmas morning trying to gnaw his way into a package of Barbie accessories, saying “open up, you fucking cocksucker, I’ll fucking _melt_ you.” I spent my morning fighting with myriad fastening devices too and I had the right tools for the job! (precision screwdrivers, linesman pliers, and knife will open 'em all). What I came in to say though is that the most thoughtful gifter in my family this year is my brother-in-law who cut all the ties and difficult packaging and put the toys back in the plastic cases so the kids could open everything up themselves. I am so going to do this for someone else even if I have to but gifts for a family I don’t know. It was a wonderful relief to see that unwrap-and-play satisfaction of gift opening that I remember from childhood. ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2009, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-burning-christmas-toy-packaging/522579/12 "2009-12-26T01:34:47Z")
> [@SanibelMan](#): > > I noticed Amazon now offers “frustration-free” packaging, where the item just comes in a plain cardboard box. My dad ordered a Fisher-Price camera for my daughter than came like that. Just the camera, wrapped in plastic, in a cardboard box. No muss, no fuss. I hope it catches on. One of the many benefits of online shopping. The asshole packaging is due to wanting to prevent shoplifting, but shoplifting’s not really an issue with Amazon. Safe as warehouses. ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2009, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-burning-christmas-toy-packaging/522579/13 "2009-12-26T03:09:56Z")
I don’t understand how having every single little piece of accoutrements wired down like Fort Knox deter shoplifters. I can see locking down the main action figure thingie, but not his helmet, weapons, wristbands, canteen, little black book, etc. I shared the OP’s pain today with various Transformer, Hulk and Spiderman presents. ---
**Author:** ![Aji\_de\_Gallina](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aji_de_gallina/32/260_2.png) [@Aji\_de\_Gallina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aji_de_Gallina)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2009, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-burning-christmas-toy-packaging/522579/14 "2009-12-26T03:50:37Z")
My daughter got a pony/unicorn/pegasus with a flowing mutlicoloured mane which was held together by stitcied plastic membrane of pain. If you’re not careful, off goes the mane. I blame either Rove or Gore. ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2009, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-burning-christmas-toy-packaging/522579/15 "2009-12-26T03:52:30Z")
> [@Aji\_de\_Gallina](#): > > I blame either Rove or Gore. I blame global warming. ---
**Author:** ![fessie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@fessie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fessie)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2009, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-burning-christmas-toy-packaging/522579/16 "2009-12-26T04:03:41Z")
> [@HongKongFooey](#): > > What I came in to say though is that the most thoughtful gifter in my family this year is my brother-in-law who cut all the ties and difficult packaging and put the toys back in the plastic cases so the kids could open everything up themselves. I was going to suggest that - it’s SO much easier. Though Dora Links was impenetrable, her box consisted entirely of attachment points and clear plastic. Shredded the whole thing busting her out. And I still haven’t managed to install & active the software (I suspect McAfee is interfering). ---
**Author:** ![CaveMike](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cavemike/32/16379_2.png) [@CaveMike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CaveMike)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2009, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-burning-christmas-toy-packaging/522579/17 "2009-12-26T05:35:01Z")
> [@Bosstone](#): > > One of the many benefits of online shopping. The asshole packaging is due to wanting to prevent shoplifting, but shoplifting’s not really an issue with Amazon. Safe as warehouses. I’ve always assumed that the crazy packaging is to protect during shipping across the ocean as much as it is to prevent shoplifting. ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2009, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-burning-christmas-toy-packaging/522579/18 "2009-12-26T06:04:14Z")
> [@CaveMike](#): > > I’ve always assumed that the crazy packaging is to protect during shipping across the ocean as much as it is to prevent shoplifting. LOL, really? Fruit in danger of bruising is packaged with less care than infernal toys made in China! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2009, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-burning-christmas-toy-packaging/522579/19 "2009-12-26T06:35:40Z")
In the family grab bag I grabbed one that, from its size and shape, shoulda been a CD or DVD. Instead it was a nice wallet that I will need eventually packaged in a tin box. From my practically-SIL I got Japanese junk food in another tin box. The wasabi peas were so fresh you could see into the near future. From which they will involve eventual anal regrets for eating them. Note: the green ones are for amateurs. The white ones are for pros, but it takes a handful. I like tin boxes, but only classy people use them. I might even learn SIL’s last name for that one. He’s a keeper. ---
**Author:** ![I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/i_love_me_vol.i/32/521_2.png) [@I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Love_Me_Vol.I)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2009, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-burning-christmas-toy-packaging/522579/20 "2009-12-26T06:36:40Z")
> [@CaveMike](#): > > I’ve always assumed that the crazy packaging is to protect during shipping across the ocean as much as it is to prevent shoplifting. Yes. That way, in the event of shipwreck, all the electronic toys will still work when they wash up on the shores of Christmas Island. And the good little boys and girls will have more than just drowned sailors’ bloated bodies to play with. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-burning-christmas-toy-packaging/522579.md?page=2)