I can’t believe this statement has gone uncorrected for this long. The REAL BBQ capital of the world is a small nameless town deep inside Texas, where the wood burns hotter, the barbeque pits are bigger, the cattle are fatter, the brisket is juicier, and the beer is colder. Rugged unshaven men, nay, TITANS, slave and sweat over the pits all day, all night, carefully tending the precious contents. And when the meat is finally ready, they slap it on butcher paper and eat it with their bare hands.
::continues to ride on his high horse::
And that vinegary slop they serve in the Carolinas, you call that barbeque? Ha! At least those KC folks have a clue as to how to make good BBQ.
Of course the east coast isn’t the worst of it. When I was in Iowa (Iowa City to be more exact), I once went to a restaurant that purported to serve barbeque. I ordered a brisket sandwich, and what I got back was greyish flabby meat in a soggy bun. The meat looked like it had been steamed. When I asked the waitress about it, she seemed confused, and then offered “Well, I can put some barbeque sauce on it and toss it in the microwave for you!”
Folks, the proven extensively documented fact is that BBQ just gets worse in proportion to your distance from the lone star state.
Well, take what you just said, then add that the BBQ sauce has been put on with a paint brush, and you’ve brought yourself back to Arthur Bryant’s in Kansas City, my friend.
Kansas City, MO is not in Texas, therefore it cannot possibly be the the “BBQ capital of the world”.
End of story.
Where else but Texas has the longest continuously lit BBQ pit in existance? Hell, when the folks that ran the place had to move to a new building, they carried an ember over to continue the tradition. I wish I could remember the name of the place, or find it on the web. It is close to Austin, TX. I’ll keep searching.
jesuslynch: Sure thing! Understand, I can’t give the exact amounts of anything, not from selfishness, but just because I’m not really sure myself… It’s the old “put enough in until it’s just right” thing. Let’s see how close I can get, though. Ingredients:
[ul][li]Ground beef-- Turkeyburger tastes OK in a pinch, but the texture is all wrong.[/li][li]Ketchup-- About 2/3 of the sauce. Heresy, I know. So what, it works.[/li][li]Barbeque sauce, most of the rest of the sauce[/li][li]Mustard[/li][li]Tabasco sauce[/li][li]Garlic, fresh if possible[/li][li]Parmesan cheese[/li][li]Salt and pepper[/li][li]Onions[/li][li]Pickle relish[/li][li]Green tomato relish, at least twice as much as the pickle[/li][li]Salsa[/li][li]Occasionally, I’ll get adventurous and add a little of something like French dressing-- Feel free to experiment.[/ul][/li]Start off by browning the meat-- I usually start with a big chunk of meat, and scrape off the surface with the spatula and turn it as it browns, this gives good texture. When most of the meat is browned, toss in the chopped onions, and sautee them in the meat juices. When the meat is browned, turn heat down to “low”, and drain off some or all of the grease (it tastes great, and I’m not concerned about health, but it doesn’t mix well with the rest of the sauce). Add the ketchup and BBQ, and stir continually. Mix in the other chunky ingredients (salsa and relishes). The chunky ingredients should make up a quarter to a half as much bulk as the meat. Mix in powders, garlic, and any other liquid ingredients, and keep stirring until you can’t see the mustard, then stir a bit more. Serve on toasted hamburger buns with a slice of American cheese.
There’s a few other ingredients I’d like to try, such as hot peppers and curry powder, but the rest of my family doesn’t properly appreciate heat. If you can get away with it, go for it.
The reason the fire is still going: it’s best not to mess with perfection.
I haven’t even mentioned beef ribs the size of a fat man’s thigh, or brisket so tender it melts in your mouth. Not to mention chicken that tastes like God Himself slapped it on the grill.
I do have to give you one thing: one of the best BBQ joints in Austin sells St. Louis pork ribs that are the bomb. However, the king of meats is beef, and I’ve never seen anything anywhere else that is close to the beef ribs and brisket here.
I really don’t give a rat’s patoot who’s barbeque is best. The only tastebuds I aim to please are my own, but I think I’d like to experiment with the technique and see what I can learn.
Currently my grill skills extend to corn, potatoes, pork, chicken, beef, and hot dogs (a comestible which is not easily classified as any of the preceding), but no real barbeque yet. Could anyone give me a simple recipe for homemade BBQ sauce and enough instructions on the basics so I can begin experimenting on my own?
From all of the hot air (and ain’t all just from the barbecues) it’s obvious that someone’s going to have to cough up a real primer for y’all. Ogre declared me to be an honarary Southener* for this following workup, and I’m half tempted to believe him. So alla youse, let’s talk turkey about barbecue (how’s that for a perfect mixed metaphor?). We’ll start with ribs.
Buy the meatiest ribs you can find. They should have a fair degree of streaking to them (i.e., fat). Avoid frozen ribs as they can be very dry from the freezing and thawing processes. If you really want to throw your money away, buy “baby back” ribs. The concept of boiling or roasting the ribs is for crude beginners and will not be discussed further. I still shiver to think of my beginner days when I would cut up the slabs and simmer them off in Chris and Pitts’ tomato based garbage sauce before grilling them over an open kettle.
Per The Rendezvous, I soak my ribs overnight in a bucket of 50 / 50 apple cider vinegar and water. If spoilage is a concern, toss in a sack of ice. Be sure to stir the tub every so often, as the vinegar will settle and chemically cook the ribs on the bottom. Better yet, every few hours, turn the ribs in the tub moving the top ones to the bottom. Be sure to save the marinating mixture for mopping and humidifying the ribs.
In the morning, get the ribs out of the tub and dry them off completely. Be sure to get under the flap meat too. I usually lay out the ribs on a slit open (unused) garbage bag. Get out your dry rub (dry rub pointers to follow) and sprinkle it all over the ribs. Cover with plastic if you are concerned about hygiene and bee bugs. About this time place a generous handful of hardwood chips in a bowl of water and weigh them down with another plate or bowl to keep them submerged. Hickory and apple wood are my favorites.
Get outside and light off your charcoal. Be sure to pile all of your charcoal to one side of your kettle. Avoid using lighter fluid. I just shave up some wood and start it all with some newspaper. Electric charcoal lighters work fine too. If you are in a hurry, use a hair dryer to fan the coals. Yeah, you look a little silly styling your kettle, but you’ll have coals in less than a half an hour. Put the grill over the coals to burn off the encrustation from the last time. A wire brush can also help with this.
Before starting the ribs, put a clean tin can full of the marinating mixture on the grill over the coals. This will provide a moist environment for your barbecue. If you have a small kettle or a large quantity of ribs you may want to have some more coals ashing up in another grill to be added to the main one during the cooking process. If you are using a propane grill start both sides on high to warm up the entire grill. Before placing the ribs on the grill, turn off one side and place the ribs over the unlit section. The placement of the coals to one side and having one side of your propane grill unlit both accomplish the same thing. You want INDIRECT heat to cook over. If you want charred and crusty inedible crap on your table, go ahead and cook directly over the coals.
If needed, oil the grill ahead of time. Place the ribs bone side down on the grill. ALWAYS cook your ribs bone side down for the entire duration of the cooking period. Only if you are in a dreadful hurry should you ever flip your ribs to the meat side. I usually just stack about three or four slabs on top of each other. Be careful not to scrape off a lot of the dry rub when placing the ribs on the grill. If needed, patch up any bare spots with a sprinkle or two of dry rub. At this time add a small amount of the soaked hardwood chips to the coals. Check to make sure the tin can of marinade is topped off and place the cover on your kettle. Choke off the kettle’s airflow to a bare minimum to keep the coals burning and watch / listen carefully for any flare ups. If flare ups occur, use a spray bottle to douse them.
Every so often, check the ribs and rotate the bottom slab to the top. If you have a fancy propane rig with the middle and top racks, use them for excellent results. Again, be careful not to bust off too much of the dry rub crust when rotating the slabs. Once the crust has set well, you may occasionally mop the slabs with some of the marinating liquid. Always check the tin can and top it off whenever it needs it. Use tongs to avoid piercing the meat and drying it out. Remember to add some of the hardwood chips periodically in between beers. Remember to heat your barbecue sauce somewhere around this time.
The ribs are done when the meat pulls back from the ends of the bones by about 1/4"-1/2". There should be a nice glaze on them and they should be moist and tender. Cut off one of the tiny end ribs to check. The end rib should be thoroughly cooked so that the larger ones will then be at the perfect state of doneness. It is at this point that the fist fights can begin. All of you pantywaists can feel free to apply some sauce during the last stage of the cooking. Any sufficiently prepared rib will not benefit from this. You will merely mask your splendid dry rub and stop your guests from appreciating the magnificence of a dry rubbed rib. Nuff said.
Prevent your guests from charging at you by using pepper spray or a Taser as you bring the slabs to the table. Singulate the ribs and dispense them with the righteous and kingly air that you deserve. Try to remember to have some sauce on them, but be sure that your guests try a rib or two without any sauce so that they understand the culinary magic that has been woven in front of them. Take a bow and keep your recipe well hidden from prying eyes.
If this does not make for the finest ribs you’ve ever had. I will personally refund every penny you paid for these pointers.
Some dry rub pointers:
A. You will have to pry my recipe out of my cold dead hands.
B. Use more sugar than salt.
C. Use both brown and white (cane) sugar.
D. Careful with the powdered Cumin, it takes over in a hurry.
E. Use a little cornstarch to help bind the rub to the meat.
F. Keep the heat down, you can always add it later.
::Casts virtual gauntlet onto virtual floor:: Let’s see some real recipes here folks. Enough of the smoke and mirrors!
Ogre declares me an honorary Southener in this thread:
