# I can do John Madden's job as well as he can **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 17, 2002, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-do-john-maddens-job-as-well-as-he-can/143231 "2002-12-17T03:01:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Bullwinkle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8491ac/32.png) [@Bullwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullwinkle)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-do-john-maddens-job-as-well-as-he-can/143231/1 "2002-12-17T03:01:23Z")
…with no professional coaching experience! Here’s how to do Madden’s job if you too want a seven-figure salary with ABC sports: When a running back gets hit at the line and then makes a second effort to get three more yards, you say “See this is what you have to do, when you get hit at the line, make a second effort to get a few more yards.” (Say this while drawing lots of arrows and lines on the ‘Madden Chalkboard’.) When a receiver fakes outside and then cuts back inside to catch the ball over the middle, you say “This is why this guy’s so good. He runs that fake outside to take out the defender, then he cuts inside to make the play over the middle.” (More lines and arrows.) When a graphic comes on the screen showing that the Bears have 343 rushing yards and the Bengals have 42 rushing yards, you say “Now, the Bears have 343 rushing yards and the Bengals only have 42 rushing yards. Rushing yardage is very important if you want to win football games.” Memo to ABC: I will be happy to take over for the rest of the season, and I’ll do it for 70% of what you’re paying Madden. ---
**Author:** ![Rhum\_Runner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rhum\_Runner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhum_Runner)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-do-john-maddens-job-as-well-as-he-can/143231/2 "2002-12-17T03:57:02Z")
“If you want to win, you’ve got to score more points than the other team!” Boom! ---
**Author:** ![Flymaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c4cdca/32.png) [@Flymaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flymaster)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-do-john-maddens-job-as-well-as-he-can/143231/3 "2002-12-17T04:30:41Z")
Heckuva thread! ---
**Author:** ![sleestak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/919ad9/32.png) [@sleestak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sleestak)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-do-john-maddens-job-as-well-as-he-can/143231/4 "2002-12-17T04:31:50Z")
Ahh, so I take it **Bullwinkle** that you have played on a proffesional level, coached on a professional level and won a SuperBowl? [cite](http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/madden/story?page=bio) Oops, you think you know all that by sitting on your couch. I hate to say this by John Madden has forgotten more about football than you will ever know. If you don’t like Madden that is fine. But trying to imply (your little arrow comments) that Madden doesn’t know what he is talking about is just a bunch of crap. Slee ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-do-john-maddens-job-as-well-as-he-can/143231/5 "2002-12-17T04:32:39Z")
Yeah, his general communication skills are about as good as Dr Phil’s, but every now and then, his football genius does show thru. He just has a weak presentation and a motor mouth most of the time. But, I would never think I could outdo him in pure football know how. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-do-john-maddens-job-as-well-as-he-can/143231/6 "2002-12-17T04:33:55Z")
Oh yeah, I _liked_ Dennis Miller being on MNF. What a show it was… ---
**Author:** ![sleestak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/919ad9/32.png) [@sleestak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sleestak)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-do-john-maddens-job-as-well-as-he-can/143231/7 "2002-12-17T04:33:59Z")
Err by should be but. Preview Slee preview… Slee ---
**Author:** ![NicePete](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ee7513/32.png) [@NicePete](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NicePete)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-do-john-maddens-job-as-well-as-he-can/143231/8 "2002-12-17T04:38:05Z")
MMMMKay, but isn’t a major part of his job as color commentator to _communicate_ what he knows about football. I don’t think anybody is questioning the level of Madden’s knowledge, it’s his presentation that sucks. Sure, he knows a ton about football, but if all he can do is make inarticulate, inane comments, what good is he? Often, John can’t translate his football insight and wisdom into a form useful to the fan and he ends up spouting inanities. That being said, for all his goofiness, I really like Madden. ---
**Author:** ![Rhum\_Runner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rhum\_Runner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhum_Runner)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-do-john-maddens-job-as-well-as-he-can/143231/9 "2002-12-17T04:40:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Flymaster \* > \*\*Heckuva thread! \*\* You rock! ---
**Author:** ![rexnervous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e9c0ed/32.png) [@rexnervous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rexnervous)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-do-john-maddens-job-as-well-as-he-can/143231/10 "2002-12-17T04:41:14Z")
Madden has a glorious football history, and his mid-80’s days with Summerall were fantastic. He is just plain terrible now. Just terrible. Bullwinkle has the wording exactly right. My idea of hell: Madden and Vitale in the booth together. ---
**Author:** ![Neurotik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/91b2a8/32.png) [@Neurotik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neurotik)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-do-john-maddens-job-as-well-as-he-can/143231/11 "2002-12-17T04:45:38Z")
I have to agree. And this is the same with almost all sports commentators. They have all this knowledge, **but they never communicate it!** Seriously, I’m watching these guys say stuff that even _I_ can see for myself. I mean, I’ve literally seen halftime and pregame shows where their analysis for a given game is, “If Team X wants to win this game, their defense is going to need to step up and stop Team Y from moving down the field so easily.” Well, NO FUCKING SHIT! Tell me **HOW** they are supposed to do this. As for Madden, well, **Bullwinkle** the day you use the telestrator to illustrate what a meteor shower will look like that night by drawing little diagonal lines all over the sky…that, my friend, is the day you will be able to step in Madden’s shoes. But frankly, I don’t think you have the creativity to spontaneously do something like that. ---
**Author:** ![sleestak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/919ad9/32.png) [@sleestak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sleestak)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-do-john-maddens-job-as-well-as-he-can/143231/12 "2002-12-17T04:49:07Z")
When it comes to football games there is a whole lot of filler time. The broadcasters have to say something. At the same time that is why the other guy is in the booth with Madden. Madden does the football the other guy takes up space. Madden never claimed to be the brightest guy on the block. At the same time when Madden disects plays he is spot on perfect. Slee ---
**Author:** ![Bottle\_of\_Smoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Bottle\_of\_Smoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bottle_of_Smoke)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-do-john-maddens-job-as-well-as-he-can/143231/13 "2002-12-17T04:59:41Z")
Yeah, Madden is past his prime as a color guy and he does tend to yammer on. He seems to focus more on the “being folksy” part of his job than the analysis part. But that being said, he can still analyze a play in the blink of an eye with the best of 'em and he usually spots details that other color guys miss. That’s why I (sorta) like him. Tolerate him. Whatever. When he isn’t rambling in his stream of nonsense (which I used to really like, incidentally, until it just got old) he can really nail a play down. He can spot exactly which lineman did what, what move he used, what the player’s responsibility was and why he did or didn’t hit it. And most times he does it before the replay even comes up. I still get tired of listening to him by halftime though. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-do-john-maddens-job-as-well-as-he-can/143231/14 "2002-12-17T05:22:47Z")
Madden also has the power of uncanny prediction. For footbal, anyways. And his real analises, analtiyds, alna…SHIT! (whiskey) are always 100% correct. He just sounds like how I type alot. I mean he sounds alot of my type SHIT! forget it… Madden is still smart, just drunk. Me thet is . Um… ---
**Author:** ![Manduck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manduck/32/256_2.png) [@Manduck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manduck)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 7:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-do-john-maddens-job-as-well-as-he-can/143231/15 "2002-12-17T07:18:09Z")
**NoClueBoy** is right! He _is_ drunk! I think Madden has improved a bit since leaving Fox, but he still has a habit of rambling on about trivia nobody cares about, like which offensive lineman is the fattest or some damn thing like that. Come to think of it, he was better before he went to Fox too. Maybe Fox was the problem all along ---
**Author:** ![Neurotik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/91b2a8/32.png) [@Neurotik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neurotik)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-do-john-maddens-job-as-well-as-he-can/143231/16 "2002-12-17T13:01:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by sleestak \* > \*\*Madden never claimed to be the brightest guy on the block. At the same time when Madden disects plays he is spot on perfect. > \*\* Absolutely. But he doesn’t bother dissecting them nearly as much as I’d like to, and relies much more on just a surface analysis that I could do. And I recognize that sometimes he doesn’t have time to do a good analysis, but he often doesn’t do one even if he does have time. That’s basically my issue with him. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-do-john-maddens-job-as-well-as-he-can/143231/17 "2002-12-17T14:24:07Z")
A slight hijack here: I thought that Madden and SUmmerall USED to be a great team, but for the past 5-7 years, MAdden has done the same old schtick, and obviously hasn’t been doing his homework. Meanwhile, Summerall seemed to be getting too slow to do play-by-play very well. It seemed to me that Summerall needed to retire, while Madden needed a newe partner who’d challenge him more. But after their split, you know what? It’s SUMMERALL who’s shown a lot of improvement! Madden’s still on auto-pilot, which is disappointing. But Summerall actually seems a lot more alert, lively, bright and opinionated. Oh, he’s STILL not as good as he used to be (old age does that to us), but he’s been quite good this year. It seems I had things backwards. Maybe Madden was actually holding back Summerall! ---
**Author:** ![Snickers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Snickers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snickers)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-do-john-maddens-job-as-well-as-he-can/143231/18 "2002-12-17T14:29:28Z")
> [@](#): > > _originally posted by **rexnervous** _ > > My idea of hell: Madden and Vitale in the booth together. Thanks rex. Thanks a lot. I think I’ll go curl up in a ball and cry now. I really didn’t need that. Snicks ---
**Author:** ![stolichnaya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bcef8e/32.png) [@stolichnaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stolichnaya)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-do-john-maddens-job-as-well-as-he-can/143231/19 "2002-12-17T14:41:39Z")
> [@](#): > > the Bears have 343 rushing yards {doc holliday} That is a hell of a thing for you to say to me. {/holliday} ---
**Author:** ![bordelond](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bordelond/32/150_2.png) [@bordelond](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bordelond)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-do-john-maddens-job-as-well-as-he-can/143231/20 "2002-12-17T14:52:38Z")
Those who have problems with John Madden’s style: did any of you catch the Minnesota-New Orleans game on Fox? Color commentator John Jurkovic (former DT of Packers, Jaguars) is going to fill Madden’s niche someday. Jurko is still green, but he lays on the analysis thick and meaty, yet retains the folksy edge that analysis-meisters Dan Dierdorf and Boomer Esisason lack. I miss Pat Haden color commentary in TNT’s booth. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-do-john-maddens-job-as-well-as-he-can/143231.md?page=2)