# I Can Haz Bible? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 30, 2008, 8:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-haz-bible/443259 "2008-03-30T08:08:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2008, 8:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-haz-bible/443259/1 "2008-03-30T08:08:14Z")
In the category (no pun intended) of people with too much time on their hands, there’s now a [lolcatz translation of _The Bible_](http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Main_Page). > [@](#): > > Hai! Teh blessigs of teh Ceiling Cat b pwn u, lol! This is a translation wiki to get the entire Bible translated into kitty pidgin (the language of lolcats). Zotnix saw a link to a picture with this done to Genesis and thought, “Why not the whole darned book?” Well, here is that effort. They’ve not gotten to the New Testament, yet, and I presume they’ll be putting in the Apocrypha, since all felines are Catlicks. (And people thought [Wookieepedia](http://starwars.wikia.com/) was nutty.) ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2008, 8:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-haz-bible/443259/2 "2008-03-30T08:18:18Z")
Oh man, I would _so_ get this for my wife if they ever published it. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Carrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@Captain\_Carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Carrot)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2008, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-haz-bible/443259/3 "2008-03-30T22:23:36Z")
Whoever did the first phrase either doesn’t know how lolcats works or hasn’t read the Bible, as ‘b pwn u’ most certainly does not mean ‘be upon you’, and in fact doesn’t really even make any sense. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2008, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-haz-bible/443259/4 "2008-03-30T22:41:40Z")
[QUOTE=Captain Carrot] Whoever did the first phrase either doesn’t know how lolcats works or hasn’t read the Bible, as ‘b pwn u’ most certainly does not mean ‘be upon you’, and in fact doesn’t really even make any sense. [/QUOTE] I think that they’re being rather “creative” with the “translations” as one section I read had a kitteh complaining about not getting any boobiez. I’m not terribly familiar with the Bible, but I don’t think that anyone laments such things in the original. ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2008, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-haz-bible/443259/5 "2008-03-30T22:43:17Z")
[QUOTE=Captain Carrot] Whoever did the first phrase either doesn’t know how lolcats works or hasn’t read the Bible, as ‘b pwn u’ most certainly does not mean ‘be upon you’, and in fact doesn’t really even make any sense. [/QUOTE] Whereas the overall goal of translating the Bible into imaginary cat pidgin makes so much fucking sense. ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2008, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-haz-bible/443259/6 "2008-03-30T22:47:52Z")
[QUOTE=Terrifel] Whereas the overall goal of translating the Bible into imaginary cat pidgin makes so much fucking sense. [/QUOTE] Well… It does. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![MLS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@MLS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MLS)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2008, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-haz-bible/443259/7 "2008-03-31T00:03:42Z")
[QUOTE=Tuckerfan] In the category (no pun intended) of people with too much time on their hands, there’s now a [lolcatz translation of _The Bible_](http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Main_Page).They’ve not gotten to the New Testament, yet, and I presume they’ll be putting in the Apocrypha, since all felines are Catlicks. (And people thought [Wookieepedia](http://starwars.wikia.com/) was nutty.) [/QUOTE] There most certainly is a New Testament section. [Matthew 1:1](http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Matthew_1) > [@](#): > > Da genie-ologee of Jebus Christ > 1 Dis book of genie-ologee of Jebus Christ, son of David, son of Abraham:2 Abraham maded Isaac, Isaac maded Jacob, Jacob maded Judah and hiz bros.3 Judah maded Perez and Zerah wit Tamar. Perez maded Hezron, and Hezron maded Ram.4 Ram maded Amminadab, Amminadab maded Nashon and Nashon maded Salmon. Not liek the fish, lol.5 Salmon maded Boaz, Boaz maded Obed by umpsing Ruth, Obed maded Jesse6 and Jesse maded King David teh king. King David teh king maded Solomon by umpsing sum chick that used to made peoples wit Uriah. Lol, Uriah got pwned. ---
**Author:** ![robardin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/43a26b/32.png) [@robardin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robardin)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2008, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-haz-bible/443259/8 "2008-03-31T01:35:37Z")
My favorite LOLCATZ Bible passage (as I [have mentioned before](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=9562286&postcount=26)) is the sacrifice of Isaac, Genesis 22:9-12: > [@](#): > > 9 An Abraham bult altar an putted Isaac on it.10 He gon stab Isaac Oh noez! > > 11 Ceiling Cat hazd a angel and teh angel wazd liekd “OH HAI ABRAHAM” and Abraham wazd liek "OH HAI"12 And teh angel wazd liek "OH HAI, ABOUT TAHT KILLIN UR SON…J/K LOL! Oh noez indeed! And good to know that G-d WUZ J/K. LOL indeed! ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2008, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-haz-bible/443259/9 "2008-03-31T01:37:32Z")
The Ten Commandments of the Cat Bible I - Feed me II - Feed me III - Feed me IV - Feed me V - Feed me VI - Feed me VII - Feed me VIII - Feed me IX - Feed me X - Go away ---
**Author:** ![appleciders](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85f322/32.png) [@appleciders](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/appleciders)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2008, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-haz-bible/443259/10 "2008-03-31T04:47:31Z")
My favorite is I Corinthians 13, especially verse 1. > [@Ceiling Cat](#): > > iff i talkd wif teh tungz of manz n angylz, n duzzn haz luff, i are becom liek teh human, knockin down all teh potz n panz frm teh shelf, srsly. It’s a nice parody of the King James translation. > [@Ceiling Cat](#): > > For nao we see in teh foggy mirorr like when teh human gets out of teh shower, but tehn we see faec tow faec. Also priceless. ---
**Author:** ![Crocodiles\_And\_Boulevards](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ee7513/32.png) [@Crocodiles\_And\_Boulevards](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crocodiles_And_Boulevards)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2008, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-haz-bible/443259/11 "2008-03-31T06:02:14Z")
From Genesis 2: \*So man muv out da basement an lives wif da womenz, an be all u can puts your toofbrush nexta mine an I no eats you. ``` an da manz sez orly da womenz sez ya rly ``` - ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2008, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-haz-bible/443259/12 "2008-03-31T06:09:01Z")
[QUOTE=Terrifel] Whereas the overall goal of translating the Bible into imaginary cat pidgin makes so much fucking sense. [/QUOTE] 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Pushkin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ee59a6/32.png) [@Pushkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pushkin)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2008, 7:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-haz-bible/443259/13 "2008-03-31T07:42:55Z")
[QUOTE=Tuckerfan] since all felines are Catlicks [/QUOTE] Hey, that’s my joke! Although I do wait till a cat is actually liking something off my finger or spoon before saying it. I assumed they’d skip ahead in the New Testament and hit Revelations, as they surely did “Teh ayngel sayz bafftime. Oh noes!” Genesis is cute, with the bit about Isaac and all that.