# I can not smile on purpose. You? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 29, 2011, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-not-smile-on-purpose-you/607729 "2011-12-29T15:59:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Becky2844](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@Becky2844](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Becky2844)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2011, 8:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-not-smile-on-purpose-you/607729/21 "2011-12-30T08:10:55Z")
I’ve read about this but can’t remember the word for it. It’s a Condition and has nothing to do with any failing on your part. But screw the outsides…how do you feel inside? That’s what counts, whether it shows or not. And the people who really know you know when you’re happy. And probably point at their photos and say That’s my friend. ---
**Author:** ![Mops](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mops/32/16494_2.png) [@Mops](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mops)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2011, 9:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-not-smile-on-purpose-you/607729/22 "2011-12-30T09:50:50Z")
[QUOTE=Mops] … A good thing I do not live in the US where the social semantics of a smile are much different from my native Germany. [/QUOTE] > [@chiroptera](#): > > Can you expand on this? I have frequently read Americans remark on ‘surly’/‘unfriendly’ (i.e. unsmiling) Germans, and also frequently heard Germans remark on Americans’ ‘phony’/‘disconcerting’ smiles. The mistake common to both is consulting the domestic signal book for reading foreign signals. US semantics of a smile: baseline friendliness (normal towards a stranger). German semantics: affection (obviously phony, even creepy in an adult stranger). \ ---
**Author:** ![rostfrei](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7bcc69/32.png) [@rostfrei](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rostfrei)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2011, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-not-smile-on-purpose-you/607729/23 "2011-12-30T15:03:15Z")
I can’t smile on command either. And I hate it when someone demands that I smile. I just tell them I have Bells Palsy. ---
**Author:** ![slm2955](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c6cbf5/32.png) [@slm2955](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slm2955)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2011, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-not-smile-on-purpose-you/607729/24 "2011-12-30T23:53:19Z")
> [@Frylock](#): > > I hate having pictures taken of me, because I cannot smile, no matter how hard I try. > > I mean–I can pull the corners of my mouth up. Without using my hands even. But the result is never taken seriously by anyone. People think I’m joking around. > > I’m not. I cannot smile. I do not know how to do it. I am baffled that you are able to. > > Smiling is involuntary. The voluntary muscles just don’t work that way. > > Very frustrating issue I’ve dealt with my entire life… > > [/blog] Just think about money:D. ---
**Author:** ![Kozmik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8dc957/32.png) [@Kozmik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kozmik)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2011, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-not-smile-on-purpose-you/607729/25 "2011-12-30T23:59:37Z")
> [@Frylock](#): > > I hate having pictures taken of me, because I cannot smile, no matter how hard I try. > > I mean–I can pull the corners of my mouth up. Without using my hands even. But the result is never taken seriously by anyone. People think I’m joking around. > > I’m not. I cannot smile. I do not know how to do it. I am baffled that you are able to. > > Smiling is involuntary. The voluntary muscles just don’t work that way. > > Very frustrating issue I’ve dealt with my entire life… > > [/blog] You’re like [Wednesday Addams](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T89dQxMbiUA). 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2011, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-not-smile-on-purpose-you/607729/26 "2011-12-31T03:22:54Z")
> [@rostfrei](#): > > I can’t smile on command either. And I hate it when someone demands that I smile. I just tell them I have Bells Palsy. Ha! That’s great! I’m going to use that one next time, and hey; it’ll either get me out of the pic or it’ll crack me up and I’ll be smiling… ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2011, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-not-smile-on-purpose-you/607729/27 "2011-12-31T03:33:42Z")
I find it very hard to believe that several posters in this thread happen to have a form of facial paralysis so rare that I’ve never even heard of it before. It’s much more likely that you simply don’t _like_ posing with a forced smile (I don’t either) and/or are self-conscious about how you look when you’re smiling. Maybe your voluntary smile isn’t particularly convincing, but _literally_ unable to exercise your facial muscles to bare your teeth? Nah. ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2011, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-not-smile-on-purpose-you/607729/28 "2011-12-31T03:53:18Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > I find it very hard to believe that several posters in this thread happen to have a form of facial paralysis so rare that I’ve never even heard of it before. It’s much more likely that you simply don’t _like_ posing with a forced smile (I don’t either) and/or are self-conscious about how you look when you’re smiling. Maybe your voluntary smile isn’t particularly convincing, but _literally_ unable to exercise your facial muscles to bare your teeth? Nah. Paralysis? Unable to bare teeth? Wtf are you talking about? No one here has said that, to my knowledge\*–certainly not the OP. \*ETA: And having reread the thread I can say that no one has said it, with certainty. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2011, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-not-smile-on-purpose-you/607729/29 "2011-12-31T04:57:18Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > I find it very hard to believe that several posters in this thread happen to have a form of facial paralysis so rare that I’ve never even heard of it before. It’s much more likely that you simply don’t _like_ posing with a forced smile (I don’t either) and/or are self-conscious about how you look when you’re smiling. Maybe your voluntary smile isn’t particularly convincing, but _literally_ unable to exercise your facial muscles to bare your teeth? Nah. I find it annoying when people launch into diatribes about what other people have/haven’t supposedly posted when it is patently clear that they haven’t read the very material on which they are commenting. ---
**Author:** ![FlyByNight512](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/82dd89/32.png) [@FlyByNight512](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlyByNight512)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2011, 8:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-not-smile-on-purpose-you/607729/30 "2011-12-31T08:51:30Z")
What irks me is that I have voluntary control of the muscles around my eyes, so I can do the ‘real smile’ thing on command - but I still look like a zombie in photos. Aargh! ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2011, 10:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-not-smile-on-purpose-you/607729/31 "2011-12-31T10:57:09Z")
To create a natural smile you think about things that make you smile. One will happen. If it doesn’t it’s because, despite what you believe, you don’t smile very much at all. ---
**Author:** ![BeaMyra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/2bfe46/32.png) [@BeaMyra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BeaMyra)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2011, 11:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-not-smile-on-purpose-you/607729/32 "2011-12-31T11:44:37Z")
> [@ugly ripe tomato](#): > > I can smile on command, but the result tends to look cheesy and forced, especially when someone’s taking a picture and wants a big toothy grin. When I smile normally I don’t show my teeth so the results when I fake it tend to be more of a"Hulk Smash!" expression. I work in H/R and when I take photos for people’s punch card badges, I can say 90% of the people are like this. Forced smiles tend to look fake. The other ten percent are divided about equally, from those who can smile great on command and those who just can’t get a good smile regardless ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2012, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-not-smile-on-purpose-you/607729/33 "2012-01-01T13:56:31Z")
All youse people who are saying you can’t smile on command, or not very well. How does this affect your social relationships? Do you find that people seem to avoid you more than you would like? Does it limit your romantic possibilities? Do people treat you like you are invisible or worse? ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2012, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-not-smile-on-purpose-you/607729/34 "2012-01-01T16:21:41Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > All youse people who are saying you can’t smile on command, or not very well. How does this affect your social relationships? Do you find that people seem to avoid you more than you would like? Does it limit your romantic possibilities? Do people treat you like you are invisible or worse? I never lack for friends. But I’m certainly a dedicated introvert. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2012, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-not-smile-on-purpose-you/607729/35 "2012-01-01T16:37:32Z")
You need to learn to [smize](http://www.wetpaint.com/americas-next-top-model/articles/the-beginners-guide-to-the-perfect-smize). Tyra’s here to help. ---
**Author:** ![beowulff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beowulff/32/542_2.png) [@beowulff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beowulff)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2012, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-not-smile-on-purpose-you/607729/36 "2012-01-01T16:38:42Z")
> [@Frylock](#): > > I hate having pictures taken of me, because I cannot smile, no matter how hard I try. > > I mean–I can pull the corners of my mouth up. Without using my hands even. But the result is never taken seriously by anyone. People think I’m joking around. > > I’m not. I cannot smile. I do not know how to do it. I am baffled that you are able to. > > Smiling is involuntary. The voluntary muscles just don’t work that way. > > Very frustrating issue I’ve dealt with my entire life… > > [/blog] [You’re not the only one…](http://i115.photobucket.com/albums/n290/natthebrat123/funny%20things/SheldonWithTeeth.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2012, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-not-smile-on-purpose-you/607729/37 "2012-01-01T20:16:25Z")
I can’t either, not exactly. For photos I do what someone else above mentioned - laugh and then hold that position - and it looks OK, but that doesn’t really work for things like giving a neighbour a friendly smile in greeting. The expression I make then is, apparently, ‘I hate you and I’m going to kill you.’ ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2012, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-not-smile-on-purpose-you/607729/38 "2012-01-03T03:59:29Z")
> [@Frylock](#): > > Paralysis? Unable to bare teeth? Wtf are you talking about? No one here has said that, to my knowledge\*–certainly not the OP. > > \*ETA: And having reread the thread I can say that no one has said it, with certainty. No, but you do seem to use the word smile oddly. I wouldn’t say you can’t smile, just that your smile often looks fake. The solution I find is to lightly squint my eyes while going slightly out of focus, while doing only a moderate smile. Wait a few seconds and gradually make it bigger. By the time the smile is at normal size, it will look like you are really happy–and I kinda am. (It’s been shown that smiling for 30 seconds improves mood.) ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2012, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-not-smile-on-purpose-you/607729/39 "2012-01-03T04:23:28Z")
> [@Mops](#): > > I have frequently read Americans remark on ‘surly’/‘unfriendly’ (i.e. unsmiling) Germans, and also frequently heard Germans remark on Americans’ ‘phony’/‘disconcerting’ smiles. The mistake common to both is consulting the domestic signal book for reading foreign signals. US semantics of a smile: baseline friendliness (normal towards a stranger). German semantics: affection (obviously phony, even creepy in an adult stranger). \ IMO, it’s more than just that one thing, or it would be more easy to ignore. There’s also a German bluntness that comes across as rudeness elsewhere. The difference even sometimes comes across online, particularly in those people who do not seem to acknowledge that there is any difference. Someone who just doesn’t smile a lot, but puts out other happy signs, and adheres to other politeness “rules” isn’t though of as being surly. Do you think that Americans and southern Europeans seem to not get to the point, and would the typical German find that annoying? ---
**Author:** ![Imasquare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Imasquare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Imasquare)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2012, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-not-smile-on-purpose-you/607729/40 "2012-01-03T04:41:06Z")
> [@Frylock](#): > > I hate having pictures taken of me, because I cannot smile, no matter how hard I try. Me too. If I try to force a smile the result is truly ghastly but if I find something funny or surprising I will smile naturally and look OK. Unfortunately I have a very small mouth with thin lips that make me look like I am angry all the time. For a famous example of this see [http://earlywomenmasters.net/cds/elizabeth/index.html](http://earlywomenmasters.net/cds/elizabeth/index.html). That small mouth with pallid white skin, bright red cheeks and flaming orange hair was a comically unfortunate look for a teenage boy who was already suffering from severe social phobia. Thankfully in my middle age my hair has lightened to auburn and my cheeks are not so red. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-not-smile-on-purpose-you/607729.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-not-smile-on-purpose-you/607729.md?page=3)