# I can put you anywhere in the Harry Potter universe **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 9, 2010, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-put-you-anywhere-in-the-harry-potter-universe/553126 "2010-09-09T01:32:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Palo\_Verde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/65b543/32.png) [@Palo\_Verde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Palo_Verde)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2010, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-put-you-anywhere-in-the-harry-potter-universe/553126/1 "2010-09-09T01:32:03Z")
I have a magic machine that can put you in any one specific location in the Harry Potter universe. You can’t wander from there. You can’t be too general, you can’t for instance say Diagon Alley, but you can go to the Leaky Cauldron, or Olivander’s wand shop, or Weasley’s Wizarding Wheezes. You can’t say Hogwarts but you can say Dumbeldore,'s office or the potion’s dungeon or Hagrid’s hut. The Burrow? Number 4 Privet Drive? The department of mysteries? The quidditch world cup? Azkaban? St. Mungo’s hospital? The Hogwarts express? Where do you want to go? ---
**Author:** ![smiling\_bandit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@smiling\_bandit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smiling_bandit)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2010, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-put-you-anywhere-in-the-harry-potter-universe/553126/2 "2010-09-09T01:37:20Z")
Given your rules, there are only a handful of practical options: 1. Hogwarts. You are blasted by the psychotic wizards who believe it is their right to screw with the minds of anyone else, although you may get to explore before they turn your brains into sushi. 2. Diagon Alley. Well, it’s fun and people would likely not notice you. You may get some good opportunities fiddling with the gold market, since there’d always be a good way to use currency cornering. 3. The Ministry of Magic. You could probably ask polite directions to the minister, and then blow the brains out of his secretary and then the man himself. Not much else to do here. ---
**Author:** ![Palo\_Verde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/65b543/32.png) [@Palo\_Verde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Palo_Verde)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2010, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-put-you-anywhere-in-the-harry-potter-universe/553126/3 "2010-09-09T01:44:50Z")
I think I’d just like to hang out in the Griffendor common room. Maybe watch Fred and George play exploding snap, see Hermione study, watch Harry and Ron play wizard’s chess, and maybe see Neville blow something up. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2010, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-put-you-anywhere-in-the-harry-potter-universe/553126/4 "2010-09-09T01:56:37Z")
The Burrow, preferably at Christmas or another time when the family all comes home. I’d expect it to be a very happy place. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2010, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-put-you-anywhere-in-the-harry-potter-universe/553126/5 "2010-09-09T02:15:34Z")
So, basically, you’re saying that you’re going to imprison me in a single room for an unspecified length of time, and I’m just choosing which room? ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2010, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-put-you-anywhere-in-the-harry-potter-universe/553126/6 "2010-09-09T02:26:21Z")
Since we’re all still Muggles, we’re completely fucked. ---
**Author:** ![PeskiPiksi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e495f1/32.png) [@PeskiPiksi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PeskiPiksi)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2010, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-put-you-anywhere-in-the-harry-potter-universe/553126/7 "2010-09-09T02:30:41Z")
Yeah, gotta go with the Burrow. I want some of that Molly Weasley cooking! Although I do like the sound of the Gryffindor Common Room… Couldn’t I Floo back and forth between the two? ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2010, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-put-you-anywhere-in-the-harry-potter-universe/553126/8 "2010-09-09T03:53:56Z")
Hermione’s bedroom. What? ---
**Author:** ![Palo\_Verde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/65b543/32.png) [@Palo\_Verde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Palo_Verde)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2010, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-put-you-anywhere-in-the-harry-potter-universe/553126/9 "2010-09-09T04:16:26Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > So, basically, you’re saying that you’re going to imprison me in a single room for an unspecified length of time, and I’m just choosing which room? Nah, you get to stay for half an hour, and then my machine magically whisks you back here. Maybe Hagrid’s hut would be fascinating. ---
**Author:** ![Alka\_Seltzer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c89c15/32.png) [@Alka\_Seltzer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alka_Seltzer)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2010, 9:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-put-you-anywhere-in-the-harry-potter-universe/553126/10 "2010-09-09T09:45:09Z")
The Burrow, and I’d be sure to take plenty of muggle crud with me, which I could trade for hard gold with Mr Weasley. “Look, this is the finest example of a betamax you’ll find anywhere…” ---
**Author:** ![footballisplayedwithyourfeet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9f8e36/32.png) [@footballisplayedwithyourfeet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/footballisplayedwithyourfeet)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2010, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-put-you-anywhere-in-the-harry-potter-universe/553126/11 "2010-09-09T12:53:47Z")
> [@Clothahump](#): > > Hermione’s bedroom. > What? I was expecting this one, surprised it was only on the eight post;) ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2010, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-put-you-anywhere-in-the-harry-potter-universe/553126/12 "2010-09-09T12:54:50Z")
The Hogwarts kitchens. I’d tell the house elves to get me whatever the hell I wanted, and they would. ---
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2010, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-put-you-anywhere-in-the-harry-potter-universe/553126/13 "2010-09-09T13:28:21Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > Since we’re all still Muggles, we’re completely fucked. …the wizards. Take a pistol, a pen and writing pad and a mobile phone. You are all of a sudden more powerful than all but a handful of wizards. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2010, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-put-you-anywhere-in-the-harry-potter-universe/553126/14 "2010-09-09T14:44:10Z")
Advanced technology (past about medieval level, it seems) doesn’t work in zones of strong magic, remember? And while I certainly understand the sentiment behind “Hermione’s bedroom”, just what do you think her reaction would be to someone suddenly appearing in her room without explanation? ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2010, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-put-you-anywhere-in-the-harry-potter-universe/553126/15 "2010-09-09T14:48:40Z")
> [@Clothahump](#): > > Hermione’s bedroom. > What? _Luna’s_ bedroom. Underneath that quiet weird exterior… ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2010, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-put-you-anywhere-in-the-harry-potter-universe/553126/16 "2010-09-09T14:49:44Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > Advanced technology (past about medieval level, it seems) doesn’t work in zones of strong magic, remember? > > And while I certainly understand the sentiment behind “Hermione’s bedroom”, just what do you think her reaction would be to someone suddenly appearing in her room without explanation? Show her your wand. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2010, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-put-you-anywhere-in-the-harry-potter-universe/553126/17 "2010-09-09T14:52:39Z")
> [@runner pat](#): > > > [@Clothahump](#): > > > > Hermione’s bedroom. > > What? > > _Luna’s_ bedroom. > > Underneath that quiet weird exterior… Fine. _Harry’s_ bedroom. (Not really, he’s much too young for me.) Really, send me to the Leaky Cauldron. I could probably blend there better than anywhere else and it’d be nice to have while away a half an hour in the pub. If not that, then the shop where Harry buys Hedwig. ---
**Author:** ![vifslan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f4b2a3/32.png) [@vifslan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vifslan)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2010, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-put-you-anywhere-in-the-harry-potter-universe/553126/18 "2010-09-09T15:17:06Z")
I was going to say Flourish & Blotts, but half an hour isn’t going to be enough in a bookshop. ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2010, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-put-you-anywhere-in-the-harry-potter-universe/553126/19 "2010-09-09T15:22:25Z")
> [@smiling\_bandit](#): > > Given your rules, there are only a handful of practical options: > > 1. Hogwarts. > 2. Diagon Alley. > 3. The Ministry of Magic. Given the rules, none of those are eligible answers! I’m going with: 1. Gryffindor Common Room 2. Hogwart’s Dining Hall 3. Room of Necessity ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2010, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-put-you-anywhere-in-the-harry-potter-universe/553126/20 "2010-09-09T15:32:51Z")
> [@Clothahump](#): > > Hermione’s bedroom. > What? damn, beat me to it [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-can-put-you-anywhere-in-the-harry-potter-universe/553126.md?page=2)