# I cannot believe you are actually making a 37 year old man on a business trip kick your ass. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 16, 2010, 9:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cannot-believe-you-are-actually-making-a-37-year-old-man-on-a-business-trip-kick-your-ass/539625 "2010-05-16T09:14:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2010, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cannot-believe-you-are-actually-making-a-37-year-old-man-on-a-business-trip-kick-your-ass/539625/201 "2010-05-19T17:39:00Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > like most things drunk and angry, they end up being a bit more retarded than you intended. Wiser words have never been spoken. ---
**Author:** ![RedFury](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ec9cab/32.png) [@RedFury](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedFury)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2010, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cannot-believe-you-are-actually-making-a-37-year-old-man-on-a-business-trip-kick-your-ass/539625/202 "2010-05-19T17:56:42Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > Look, I am a man. I have an ocean of testosterone flowing through my veins. **Boner** …the name’s **M.S. Boner** …and you are? > [@Pussy](#): > > Pussy Galore _::::amused look from **Boner** ::::_ > [@msmith537](#): > > “…Here’s my Blackberry. Take a picture of me kicking your boyfriend’s ass.” _::: **Boner** wipes lapels of white dinner jacket::::_ (drives off) ---
**Author:** ![MTCicero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a4c791/32.png) [@MTCicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MTCicero)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2010, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cannot-believe-you-are-actually-making-a-37-year-old-man-on-a-business-trip-kick-your-ass/539625/203 "2010-05-19T20:58:55Z")
> [@A Monkey With a Gun](#): > > You didn’t do anything! You just shoved one fucking guy. That’s it. Get over your bad ass self. I flatly reflect your hypothesis, sir. The man (?) _clearly_ masturbated himself furiously; ergo, he _clearly_ did _something_. ---
**Author:** ![MTCicero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a4c791/32.png) [@MTCicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MTCicero)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2010, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cannot-believe-you-are-actually-making-a-37-year-old-man-on-a-business-trip-kick-your-ass/539625/204 "2010-05-19T21:10:21Z")
> [@Try2B\_Comprehensive](#): > > There is [only one response](http://www.partnersinrhyme.com/soundfx/animals/animals_sounds/TreeAnimals_sounds/animal_monkeys_wav.shtml) for this. > > Sorry. You’re resenting how harsh that is now, but later you’ll understand that it is the only. way. you’ll. learn. My Tip for You of the Day™: When going for comedy, one must actually _be funny_. This has been My Tip for You of the Day™. ---
**Author:** ![bucketybuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/898d66/32.png) [@bucketybuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bucketybuck)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2010, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cannot-believe-you-are-actually-making-a-37-year-old-man-on-a-business-trip-kick-your-ass/539625/205 "2010-05-19T22:11:56Z")
> [@LorieSmurf](#): > > Wow. Ok, the OP was a bit douchy. But damn, what’s with all the peace-living hippies in this thread? Have you guys ever been to a freakin’ bar? If you’re in a bar, acting like an asshole, expect a fight. Aint no bar in the basement bitch. Gotta get out in the light afore ye can fight. Nerds are very good at taking the high road. Its a social insecurity thing, they have their excuses made years in advance. “I didnt fight back because it is a more noble thing to walk away”. Nah, you were just scared of getting hit, admit it. I never worried about what society thought of me, so if some numpty pushes too far, then yes, chances are he will get punched. Such is life, even if it hasnt happened to me in years. Also, I would completely destroy any of you pussy fucks in a fight, cos I am all psycho an shit and wouldnt stop till you was all battered and shit. I actually got in a fight once, with a gang of hombres. I kicked them so hard they fell down, then I sexed all their sisters. It was great. ---
**Author:** ![emcee2k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7bcc69/32.png) [@emcee2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emcee2k)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2010, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cannot-believe-you-are-actually-making-a-37-year-old-man-on-a-business-trip-kick-your-ass/539625/206 "2010-05-19T23:30:23Z")
I can’t even tell the joke posts from the serious ones. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2010, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cannot-believe-you-are-actually-making-a-37-year-old-man-on-a-business-trip-kick-your-ass/539625/207 "2010-05-19T23:52:25Z")
> [@emcee2k](#): > > I can’t even tell the joke posts from the serious ones. The entire thread is a joke. It’s very meta. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2010, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cannot-believe-you-are-actually-making-a-37-year-old-man-on-a-business-trip-kick-your-ass/539625/208 "2010-05-19T23:55:55Z")
> [@bucketybuck](#): > > Also, I would completely destroy any of you pussy fucks in a fight, cos I am all psycho an shit and wouldnt stop till you was all battered and shit. I actually got in a fight once, with a gang of hombres. I kicked them so hard they fell down, then I sexed all their sisters. :dubious: “Sexed”? I presume that choice of language is because a gentleman of your elegant manners and _savoir-faire_ wouldn’t condescend to use so vulgar a word as “fucked”? ---
**Author:** ![emcee2k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7bcc69/32.png) [@emcee2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emcee2k)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2010, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cannot-believe-you-are-actually-making-a-37-year-old-man-on-a-business-trip-kick-your-ass/539625/209 "2010-05-20T00:46:28Z")
> [@Kimstu](#): > > :dubious: “Sexed”? I presume that choice of language is because a gentleman of your elegant manners and _savoir-faire_ wouldn’t condescend to use so vulgar a word as “fucked”? He means he determined their genders. ---
**Author:** ![Duke\_of\_Rat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Duke\_of\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke_of_Rat)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2010, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cannot-believe-you-are-actually-making-a-37-year-old-man-on-a-business-trip-kick-your-ass/539625/210 "2010-05-20T01:44:20Z")
I want to hear more about the douchebag fucking some old woman’s potted plants. ---
**Author:** ![F.U.Shakespeare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aca169/32.png) [@F.U.Shakespeare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/F.U.Shakespeare)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2010, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cannot-believe-you-are-actually-making-a-37-year-old-man-on-a-business-trip-kick-your-ass/539625/211 "2010-05-20T02:16:23Z")
**msmith537** , you’ve gotten downright uncivilized! [And in just a few years. Guess I’m a bad influence. 😛](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=6212052&postcount=30) Just kidding. Welcome to middle age, kid. ---
**Author:** ![Try2B\_Comprehensive](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/try2b_comprehensive/32/65_2.png) [@Try2B\_Comprehensive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Try2B_Comprehensive)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2010, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cannot-believe-you-are-actually-making-a-37-year-old-man-on-a-business-trip-kick-your-ass/539625/212 "2010-05-20T02:42:32Z")
> [@MTCicero](#): > > My Tip for You of the Day™: > > When going for comedy, one must actually _be funny_. > > This has been My Tip for You of the Day™. If you had an ocean of testosterone flowing through your veins, you would have got it. ---
**Author:** ![MTCicero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a4c791/32.png) [@MTCicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MTCicero)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2010, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cannot-believe-you-are-actually-making-a-37-year-old-man-on-a-business-trip-kick-your-ass/539625/213 "2010-05-20T03:19:59Z")
> [@bucketybuck](#): > > Aint no bar in the basement bitch. Gotta get out in the light afore ye can fight. > > Nerds are very good at taking the high road. Its a social insecurity thing, they have their excuses made years in advance. “I didnt fight back because it is a more noble thing to walk away”. Nah, you were just scared of getting hit, admit it. > > I never worried about what society thought of me, so if some numpty pushes too far, then yes, chances are he will get punched. Such is life, even if it hasnt happened to me in years. > > Also, I would completely destroy any of you pussy fucks in a fight, cos I am all psycho an shit and wouldnt stop till you was all battered and shit. I actually got in a fight once, with a gang of hombres. I kicked them so hard they fell down, then I sexed all their sisters. It was great. Potato famine! ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2010, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cannot-believe-you-are-actually-making-a-37-year-old-man-on-a-business-trip-kick-your-ass/539625/214 "2010-05-20T04:36:06Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > I just came in to thank\*\* A Monkey With a Gun \*\*for taking over for the remainder of the thread with his “who’s the bigger jackass” story. I’m sure it will play well here. > > I guess that end of the day, I don’t really care if people think I’m “badass”. The reality is I got into a minor confrontation in a bar, it pissed me off and I wrote about it. My goal at the time was not to show how “badass” I was or beat the crap out of some loser. It was a reaction to some jerk getting in my face. It happens. > > So now I’m all confused and don’t know if I should have walked away or smashed a bottle over his head?😕 Walked away. You only go for the bottle/glass smashing if it’s empty. Wasting liquor, especially scotch, would have been unpardonable. ---
**Author:** ![PlainJain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5daacb/32.png) [@PlainJain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlainJain)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2010, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cannot-believe-you-are-actually-making-a-37-year-old-man-on-a-business-trip-kick-your-ass/539625/215 "2010-05-20T05:37:40Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > We call that _ambush bragging_. I’m sorry… I’m only half way through the thread but hot damn that’s some good funny right there! ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2010, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cannot-believe-you-are-actually-making-a-37-year-old-man-on-a-business-trip-kick-your-ass/539625/216 "2010-05-20T06:02:41Z")
> [@PlainJain](#): > > I’m sorry… I’m only half way through the thread but hot damn that’s some good funny right there! My sarcastic meter is reading: “Not sure if sarcastic?” ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2010, 8:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cannot-believe-you-are-actually-making-a-37-year-old-man-on-a-business-trip-kick-your-ass/539625/217 "2010-05-20T08:21:33Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > There is not a single person on this planet that cannot be provoked into a fight. Bullshit. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2010, 11:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cannot-believe-you-are-actually-making-a-37-year-old-man-on-a-business-trip-kick-your-ass/539625/218 "2010-05-20T11:22:38Z")
If I could fight anybody? I’d fight Gandhi. ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2010, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cannot-believe-you-are-actually-making-a-37-year-old-man-on-a-business-trip-kick-your-ass/539625/219 "2010-05-20T13:30:52Z")
> [@Jack\_Batty](#): > > If I could fight anybody? I’d fight Gandhi. You and the Red Dwarf crew both, eh? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2010, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cannot-believe-you-are-actually-making-a-37-year-old-man-on-a-business-trip-kick-your-ass/539625/220 "2010-05-20T14:03:52Z")
> [@Jack\_Batty](#): > > If I could fight anybody? I’d fight Gandhi. I’d go with Hemingway. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cannot-believe-you-are-actually-making-a-37-year-old-man-on-a-business-trip-kick-your-ass/539625.md?page=10) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cannot-believe-you-are-actually-making-a-37-year-old-man-on-a-business-trip-kick-your-ass/539625.md?page=12)