# I cannot believe you are actually making a 37 year old man on a business trip kick your ass. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 16, 2010, 9:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cannot-believe-you-are-actually-making-a-37-year-old-man-on-a-business-trip-kick-your-ass/539625 "2010-05-16T09:14:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Palooka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/palooka/32/2902_2.png) [@Palooka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Palooka)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2010, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cannot-believe-you-are-actually-making-a-37-year-old-man-on-a-business-trip-kick-your-ass/539625/21 "2010-05-16T15:09:21Z")
He came at me with a knife, officer. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2010, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cannot-believe-you-are-actually-making-a-37-year-old-man-on-a-business-trip-kick-your-ass/539625/22 "2010-05-16T15:11:40Z")
**msmith** is one of the bluntest people on this board, and he’s never given us reason to call him a liar before, so why are you all starting now? Like **Rand Rover** said, something interesting happened, and he’s venting about it here. I’m also not sure why people are doubting a young guy and young girls acting this way - that sounds _exactly_ like how they’d act in a bar. ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2010, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cannot-believe-you-are-actually-making-a-37-year-old-man-on-a-business-trip-kick-your-ass/539625/23 "2010-05-16T15:11:48Z")
Judging from the personality displayed in the OP–not to mention the scotch goggles–I have very little doubt that msmith comes off way better in his own mind than he probably did in reality. The OP sounds like exactly the kind of self-pitying, self-aggrandizing story a drunk middle aged douchebag would tell himself after his attempts to horn in on a group of twentysomethings was politely rebuffed, even to the point of refusing to be drawn into the physical altercation the drunk middle aged douchebag so desperately needed to prove his manhood. Seems pretty clear to me that msmith got drunk, he hit on someone else’s date, he took a swing at a guy who had more dignity and self control than he had, he tried and failed to get laid, he slunk off to another bar only to be shot down again, and ended up alone and drunk in his hotel room, revising the events for Dope consumption. At least, if that’s NOT what happened, he should be aware that coming here with the sole purpose of bragging about his huge manliness makes HIM seem like more of a douche than his twentysomething nemesis. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2010, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cannot-believe-you-are-actually-making-a-37-year-old-man-on-a-business-trip-kick-your-ass/539625/24 "2010-05-16T15:14:06Z")
And let’s face it, when **lissener** talks about coming off as a douche, it pays to listen. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2010, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cannot-believe-you-are-actually-making-a-37-year-old-man-on-a-business-trip-kick-your-ass/539625/25 "2010-05-16T15:14:37Z")
When you make posts like this on the interweb, you’ll mainly get reactions from those who can safely be in outrage from far away. You should have made yourself more of the victim. Instead of saying you pushed the douchebag away, you should have said he fell towards you because he was staggering drunk and you put your hands in the way and shoved him back to prevent you both from harm. And, instead of talking like you won over the girls with your tough guy ways, they asked you if you were hurt and expressed concern for your well-being. Then you would have won over the bleeding hearts. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2010, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cannot-believe-you-are-actually-making-a-37-year-old-man-on-a-business-trip-kick-your-ass/539625/26 "2010-05-16T15:17:07Z")
Ah yes, all the “you’re a big man on the internet” trolls come racing to do their own version of dick waving, primarily because it’s all they CAN do. ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2010, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cannot-believe-you-are-actually-making-a-37-year-old-man-on-a-business-trip-kick-your-ass/539625/27 "2010-05-16T15:17:23Z")
> [@Knowed\_Out](#): > > When you make posts like this on the interweb, you’ll mainly get reactions from those who can safely be in outrage from far away. > > You should have made yourself more of the victim. Instead of saying you pushed the douchebag away, you should have said he fell towards you because he was staggering drunk and you put your hands in the way and shoved him back to prevent you both from harm. And, instead of talking like you won over the girls with your tough guy ways, they asked you if you were hurt and expressed concern for your well-being. Then you would have won over the bleeding hearts. Exactly. It’s always better to lie. ---
**Author:** ![jasonh300](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/46a35a/32.png) [@jasonh300](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jasonh300)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2010, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cannot-believe-you-are-actually-making-a-37-year-old-man-on-a-business-trip-kick-your-ass/539625/28 "2010-05-16T15:17:25Z")
Why is any of this being questioned? A hotel bar is there for one specific purpose. So that middle aged men who are traveling on business can put on white dress shoes and go and have a few drinks and maybe hit on some supermodels while they’re away from their families. What is a 20-something year old kid doing in there anyway? If the girls he was with wanted to go to a hotel bar, he should’ve known that they wanted to pick up on older men and he should have stayed home. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2010, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cannot-believe-you-are-actually-making-a-37-year-old-man-on-a-business-trip-kick-your-ass/539625/29 "2010-05-16T15:26:43Z")
> [@jasonh300](#): > > What is a 20-something year old kid doing in there anyway? If the girls he was with wanted to go to a hotel bar, he should’ve known that they wanted to pick up on older men and he should have stayed home. FTW. (I’m only allowed about 2 more “u win the internet” posts on this site so you know I just spent that wisely :)) ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2010, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cannot-believe-you-are-actually-making-a-37-year-old-man-on-a-business-trip-kick-your-ass/539625/30 "2010-05-16T15:27:15Z")
Yeah, the whole, “I didn’t sleep with her. But I clearly COULD have” was kind of eye roll inducing. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2010, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cannot-believe-you-are-actually-making-a-37-year-old-man-on-a-business-trip-kick-your-ass/539625/31 "2010-05-16T15:37:33Z")
Coupla things. 1. I always thought the OP was female. I probably don’t pay enough attention to that sort of thing… I think it’s the “mssmith” portion of his user name that threw me. 2. “Decorum dictates”? :dubious: There was nothing decorous about any of this. 3. I completely understand and sympathize with wanting to vent about something that happened. Have at it, but this being the Dope, don’t expect any support for venting. 4. Girls that think “guys fighting is hot” (or who “seem to dig guys who kick ass”) are not the classiest of females. 5. Anyone who hangs around a hotel bar is rather pathetic be definition. No one comes out of this looking like the most interesting man (or woman) in the room. 6. Good on you for not cheating. You’re growing up. 😉 Now, if we could only lose the overly sensitive male ego, you’ll be in like Flynn. Oh, wait… 😛 ---
**Author:** ![DanBlather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f4b2a3/32.png) [@DanBlather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DanBlather)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2010, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cannot-believe-you-are-actually-making-a-37-year-old-man-on-a-business-trip-kick-your-ass/539625/32 "2010-05-16T15:42:47Z")
> [@kidneyfailure](#): > > Wow, you kicked a guy’s ass and had tons of ladies hanging all over you. You’re the fucking man, for sure… > > ::eyeroll:: Same post without eye roll. I got into a fight for the first time in years a while back. Some guy was harassing women on the street and when I ran up there I saw it was someone I knew. A few words, shoves, and punches before the police arrived and sanity ensued. Adrenalin really does take over. In any case I saved someone from being seriously hurt; the guy, who I am sure my friend would have wailed on. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2010, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cannot-believe-you-are-actually-making-a-37-year-old-man-on-a-business-trip-kick-your-ass/539625/33 "2010-05-16T15:49:07Z")
Just what exactly makes a phycical altercation preferable than say, laughing in the guy’s face? You cross a line when you lay hands on someone, and the OP hasn’t said anything that would justify crossing that line. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2010, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cannot-believe-you-are-actually-making-a-37-year-old-man-on-a-business-trip-kick-your-ass/539625/34 "2010-05-16T15:52:45Z")
> [@eleanorigby](#): > > 1. Anyone who hangs around a hotel bar is rather pathetic be definition. No one comes out of this looking like the most interesting man (or woman) in the room. Even the traveling business people STAYING in the hotel that has the bar? :rolleyes: Hell, I hate bars, but if I had to choose a type of bar to go to, it would be a hotel bar. By far, for the hater of the bar, those are best types of bars bar none. And, if anything would make me want to hang out in one, it would be traveling business trip. There is a damn good reason many hotels have their own little bars/eating spots. And it is usually NOT to provide a venue for macho confrontations, fisticuffs or picking up slutty fightclub women. Thats generally the other types of bars. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2010, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cannot-believe-you-are-actually-making-a-37-year-old-man-on-a-business-trip-kick-your-ass/539625/35 "2010-05-16T15:54:39Z")
> [@jasonh300](#): > > \ > > What is a 20-something year old kid doing in there anyway? If the girls he was with wanted to go to a hotel bar, he should’ve known that they wanted to pick up on older men and he should have stayed home. True dat. > [@eleanorigby](#): > > \ > 4. Girls that think “guys fighting is hot” (or who “seem to dig guys who kick ass”) are not the classiest of females. True dat, too. > [@](#): > > 1. Anyone who hangs around a hotel bar is rather pathetic be definition. No one comes out of this looking like the most interesting man (or woman) in the room.\ Not sure I completely agree with that. For businesspeople on a business trip (like the OP), your choice is vegetate in your room or have a drink in the nearest bar before staggering back to your room. Actually, that is kind of pathetic, but whatcha gonna do? ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2010, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cannot-believe-you-are-actually-making-a-37-year-old-man-on-a-business-trip-kick-your-ass/539625/36 "2010-05-16T16:05:26Z")
> [@eleanorigby](#): > > Coupla things. > > 1. I always thought the OP was female. I probably don’t pay enough attention to that sort of thing… I think it’s the “mssmith” portion of his user name that threw me. Don’t you mean “ms mith”? 😛 Guy’s only been around nine years and posting in all kindsa threads about relationships with women, no reason why you should have noticed really. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2010, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cannot-believe-you-are-actually-making-a-37-year-old-man-on-a-business-trip-kick-your-ass/539625/37 "2010-05-16T16:25:49Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > For businesspeople on a business trip (like the OP), your choice is vegetate in your room or have a drink in the nearest bar before staggering back to your room. Actually, that is kind of pathetic, but whatcha gonna do? You could stay up in your crappy closet of a room, eat 5 dollar snickers from the mini (theft) bar, and spend your evenings posting on the SDMB…and be a winner like the rest of us here! ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2010, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cannot-believe-you-are-actually-making-a-37-year-old-man-on-a-business-trip-kick-your-ass/539625/38 "2010-05-16T16:33:19Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > You could stay up in your crappy closet of a room, eat 5 dollar snickers from the mini (theft) bar, and spend your evenings posting on the SDMB…and be a winner like the rest of us here! Wait a fucking minute… where are these hotels that have Snickers for only five bucks?! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9fc348/32.png) [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Flying_Dutchman)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2010, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cannot-believe-you-are-actually-making-a-37-year-old-man-on-a-business-trip-kick-your-ass/539625/39 "2010-05-16T17:04:58Z")
I think those of you giving the OP a hard time have no fucking idea what happens to your head space when you face an altercation like that and work your way through it without any damage and you are the type of person that would actually like to avoid situations like that. He did okay. Its interesting to read his conclusions which merely display his naivety with girls suggesting his lack of player experience. Nothing wrong with that. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2010, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cannot-believe-you-are-actually-making-a-37-year-old-man-on-a-business-trip-kick-your-ass/539625/40 "2010-05-16T17:29:28Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > **msmith** is one of the bluntest people on this board, and he’s never given us reason to call him a liar before, so why are you all starting now? Like **Rand Rover** said, something interesting happened, and he’s venting about it here. I’m also not sure why people are doubting a young guy and young girls acting this way - that sounds _exactly_ like how they’d act in a bar. I knew **msmith537** in real life as a coworker before he even joined this board many years ago. There is no reason to doubt any of the story based on him or the situation described. I have had similar things happen myself especially if the business trips was in the Northeast but it could happen anywhere. Bars are the natural habitat for douchebags and when the get a few drinks and god know what else in them, anything can happen. My ex-wife and some of her friends were very attractive in their 20’s and we went out clubbing in Boston all the time together. They would get groped and cornered sometimes to the point where they would be asking for help. I pushed a guy backwards down hard down a flight of stairs for groping my wife at the Kells in Allston once and just walked away casually in the confusion. He got hurt and then bounced out and we had a great rest of the night. I did something similar when a guido grabbed one of her friends on the dance floor at the Axis dance club and wouldn’t let go. That guy ended up giving me a hug later for some unknown reason. I hate fighting too but I won’t back down and I always get wired after something like that happens for a couple of days and it does happen. I was in much better shape back then but as a male, you gain the ‘don’t give a damn’ advantage as you get older plus you know the police are always going to believe you over the younger douchebag if you stick to defense. Like anything, it is just a stupid sport that some take more seriously than others. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cannot-believe-you-are-actually-making-a-37-year-old-man-on-a-business-trip-kick-your-ass/539625.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cannot-believe-you-are-actually-making-a-37-year-old-man-on-a-business-trip-kick-your-ass/539625.md?page=3)