# I can't believe I don't understand this Marmaduke **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 16, 2006, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-believe-i-dont-understand-this-marmaduke/348652 "2006-03-16T21:26:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 4\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2006, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-believe-i-dont-understand-this-marmaduke/348652/21 "2006-03-17T03:47:33Z")
> [@lawoot](#): > > Wouldn’t this be the canine version of _Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex_? Marmaduke is over 50 years old. Obviously, he is getting on in years. So the question comes up: how can Maramduke continue his progeny? There are two major problems that come up at first glance: age and size. Maramduke is over 50 years old, yes (in human years, that is- he’s over 350 in so-called “dog years”). The question is: is Maramduke still sterile? 50 isn’t that much of a surprising age for a cartoon dog: Snoopy, also in his 50s, has actually outlived his creator, as has the Bumstead’s trusty hound Daisy, who is at least in her late 60s. So age does not appear to be a problem. Marmaduke could possible produce offspring for decades to come- if he can find an acceptable mate. Which brings us to the second problem. Esteemed Maramadukologist Adrian Monk once described Maramaduke as “the largest dog in the world. You would not believe how large this dog is.” Marmaduke is, however, _not_ the largest dog in the world- other large dogs include _Parade_ magazine mainstay Howard Huge and Clifford the Big Red Dog, whose size dwarfs even Marmaduke’s. However, these large mutts are all males. So it seems that Maramaduke will not be able to find a potential mate. The question thus rises: would Marmaduke be able to mate with a dog of normal size? (I can’t think of anything else right now) ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2006, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-believe-i-dont-understand-this-marmaduke/348652/22 "2006-03-17T03:49:43Z")
“Maramaduke could, of course, donate his semen in the effort to reproduce. However, some unintelligent folks have been known to down steamin’ cups of fido jizz unwittingly, so his sperm would have to be well-protected.” -Additional excerpt from Larry Niven’s little-known essay _Dog Gone Funny, Bitch Gone Died_ (first excerpt appeared in previous post) ---
**Author:** ![Rachael\_Rage](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/71c47a/32.png) [@Rachael\_Rage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachael_Rage)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2006, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-believe-i-dont-understand-this-marmaduke/348652/23 "2006-03-17T05:04:40Z")
> [@Misnomer](#): > > The caption is actually “I’m calling Mrs. Vanderhorst before she isn’t talking to me **forever**.” The bold type is key: apparently Marmaduke often annoys Mrs. Vanderhorst to the point where she repeatedly stops speaking to Marmaduke’s owner, so the joke is that Marmaduke getting “friendly” with the little dog – ostensibly Mrs. V’s – would send Mrs. V completely over the edge, resulting in a permanent silence. 🙂 > > (At least, that’s the joke as I saw it!) You’re close, but I think making it more complicated than it needs to be. Whether or not Mrs. Vanderhorst has previously been annoyed with Marmaduke, Marmaduke’s owner is convinced that Marmy’s boning the cute Maltese into goo (sorry) would be sufficient cause in and of itself for Mrs. V to cease contact with her **forever**. The bolding of **forever** implies that the violation of Mrs. V’s dog deserves more than silent treatment for a weekend, but that is not to assume that Mrs. V has imposed such punishments before this. It is still a poorly-written sentence. When a comic strip caption needs to be read several times, it wasn’t well-conceived (heh) to begin with. I agree with **Ethilrist** - a Marmaduke comic which invokes the image of a very large dog doin’ it to a very small dog _is_ rather shocking… ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2006, 7:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-believe-i-dont-understand-this-marmaduke/348652/24 "2006-03-17T07:00:16Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > I mean, it’s the moral equivalent of Peppermint Patty & Marcie talking about sharing a sleeping bag on a camping trip. [Paris Hilton] That’s hot. [/PH] [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-believe-i-dont-understand-this-marmaduke/348652.md?page=1)