# I Can't Believe it. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 4, 2013, 7:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-believe-it/660102 "2013-06-04T07:58:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-believe-it/660102/41 "2013-06-04T15:03:16Z")
> [@Bob Ducca](#): > > So you ran to sign up on a new message board to tell everybody about it? Let’s face it. Everybody’s first post here is shitty. He’s just being more open about it. “Ducca” heh ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-believe-it/660102/42 "2013-06-04T15:07:47Z")
> [@fudrucker](#): > > Last night I awoke suddenly with uncontrollable intestinal spasms. > I made an insane dash for the bathroom, but it was far too late. Before I took three steps my colon was emitting a jet of vile foulness all over the floor. > > I’m just thankful I was alone. However, I’ve never heard of this happening to anyone else, ever. Am I right? This is what happens when you start out here by jumping into The BBQ Pit first. Start over by reading General Questions first, then Café Society, then MPSIMS, then IMHO. When you think you’re ready try out Great Debates, and once the dizziness and nausea subside you can give The BBQ Pit another try…but in small doses for the first week or so. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-believe-it/660102/43 "2013-06-04T15:15:04Z")
That’s the first sign of Alzheimer’s. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-believe-it/660102/44 "2013-06-04T15:16:37Z")
> [@Smeghead](#): > > That’s the first sign of Alzheimer’s. What is? ---
**Author:** ![Tully\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7ab992/32.png) [@Tully\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tully_Mars)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-believe-it/660102/45 "2013-06-04T15:23:52Z")
> [@BlankSlate](#): > > Pretty sure that’s the first sign of ass cancer. Well, after the Micheal Douglas revelation yesterday … ? ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-believe-it/660102/46 "2013-06-04T15:27:25Z")
What? He has alzheimers? ---
**Author:** ![BigAppleBucky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigapplebucky/32/178_2.png) [@BigAppleBucky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigAppleBucky)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-believe-it/660102/47 "2013-06-04T15:31:49Z")
> [@fudrucker](#): > > Last night I awoke suddenly with uncontrollable intestinal spasms. > I made an insane dash for the bathroom, but it was far too late. Before I took three steps my colon was emitting a jet of vile foulness all over the floor. > > I’m just thankful I was alone. However, I’ve never heard of this happening to anyone else, ever. Am I right? Stop eating so much broccoli. Never happened that way for me, but I’ve had close calls, especially before I realized what broccoli did to me. ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-believe-it/660102/48 "2013-06-04T15:43:46Z")
Diapers are underrated. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-believe-it/660102/49 "2013-06-04T15:51:11Z")
> [@Bob Ducca](#): > > So you ran to sign up on a new message board to tell everybody about it? Quit it, you guys, I might want to keep this one! ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-believe-it/660102/50 "2013-06-04T15:58:06Z")
Smartest, hippest people on the Internet. This thread is simply more evidence of the high caliber of intellectual discourse here, due in no small part to the lack of avatars and other needless, distracting frills that bring in the riff-raff. ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-believe-it/660102/51 "2013-06-04T15:58:41Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > Quit it, you guys, I might want to keep this one! Best thread topic/user name/post ever. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-believe-it/660102/52 "2013-06-04T16:08:26Z")
If I wanted to choose among several available message boards, the OP would be a good way to begin the screening process (write it up, post it to several MBs and proceed with the ones that don’t ban me right out of the gate). So, yay us, we passed the first test! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-believe-it/660102/53 "2013-06-04T17:15:34Z")
Moved to MPSIMS. ---
**Author:** ![CannyDan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cannydan/32/548_2.png) [@CannyDan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CannyDan)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-believe-it/660102/54 "2013-06-04T17:32:35Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > Quit it, you guys, I might want to keep this one! I thought to provide the usual warning – that if you keep it, you’ll have to clean up after it. Then I noticed your user name. ETA: Ahhh! Ninja’d by **Sicks Ate**! Composed the post, got called away to an interview, came back and hit SUBMIT. Oh well. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-believe-it/660102/55 "2013-06-04T17:44:10Z")
> [@BlankSlate](#): > > You’re right, I meant Alzheimer’s. I think it’s lupus. > [@Yllaria](#): > > \but Mom had been a nurse, once. In 1960, for 20 minutes? Welcome to the boards, **fudrucker**! May you always make it to the toilet with all your spewing needs in the future! ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-believe-it/660102/56 "2013-06-04T18:27:16Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > I think it’s lupus. That Corey Haim movie? ---
**Author:** ![Spiff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiff/32/9852_2.png) [@Spiff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiff)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-believe-it/660102/57 "2013-06-04T18:29:11Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > Quit it, you guys, I might want to keep this one! Has **lieu** chimed in yet? This is right up his alley, eh? ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-believe-it/660102/58 "2013-06-04T18:34:21Z")
> [@Baron\_Greenback](#): > > Norovirus has that effect, with bonus projectile vomiting. I ended up just sitting on the toilet with a basin in my lap to puke in. That was a good day. One seriously good reason to have a small bathroom where you are able to sit on the john and hurl into the bath tub 😛 mrAru had a hernia repair done about 15 years ago. The usual, wake up and get anded something to drink [he picked ginger ale] and then something to eat [he picked fruit cup] to demonstrate that one is more or less ready to go home [you also tend to have to pee as well]. All went well until he bent over while sitting down to put his shoes on. He managed to projectile hurl his stomach contents about 6 floor tiles [about 6 feet or so] which both the nurse and I thought was pretty spectacular. His comment was “Well, looks and tastes the same going out as it did going in” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-believe-it/660102/59 "2013-06-04T19:49:19Z")
> [@Machine\_Elf](#): > > Diapers are underrated. No kidding! Not-quite-2-year old son has some kind of stomach bug, and I was marveling to find myself happy and relieved that he moved from the puking to the squirts, because the diapers do a rather marvelous job of keeping it all contained and soaked up. ---
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2013, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-believe-it/660102/60 "2013-06-04T20:11:51Z")
makes a great floor wax, don’t let it dry before spreading evenly. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-believe-it/660102.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-believe-it/660102.md?page=4)