# I can't deal with transgender anymore **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 16, 2024, 8:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-deal-with-transgender-anymore/1002937 "2024-06-16T08:49:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 18
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2025, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-deal-with-transgender-anymore/1002937/341 "2025-01-20T15:54:02Z")
> [@Cee](#): > > Just call ppl by their correct pronouns and identity. Who decides what is “correct”-you, them or the current law? ---
**Author:** ![Cee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cee/32/18345_2.png) [@Cee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cee)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2025, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-deal-with-transgender-anymore/1002937/342 "2025-01-20T15:59:37Z")
Whatever the person wishes to be called is correct. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2025, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-deal-with-transgender-anymore/1002937/343 "2025-01-20T16:01:59Z")
That is how I usually handle it. If I need to, I politely and quietly ask how I may address them. ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2025, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-deal-with-transgender-anymore/1002937/344 "2025-01-20T16:20:13Z")
ISTM that I have been seeing the announcement of pronouns somewhat less frequently than a year or 2 ago. Do other folk see it as a growing or waning trend? (I really don’t care one way or another. I’ll try to call anyone whatever they prefer.) Similar to Latinx. Seemed like it was being suggested pretty regularly a while back, but I can’t recall the last time I saw/heard it. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2025, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-deal-with-transgender-anymore/1002937/345 "2025-01-20T16:24:28Z")
> [@Dinsdale](#): > > ISTM that I have been seeing the announcement of pronouns somewhat less frequently than a year or 2 ago. I only see it in email signatures. If you’re like me, you just don’t notice it anymore. I think it’s about the same. Agree about Latinx, which never really caught on. ---
**Author:** ![Great\_Antibob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@Great\_Antibob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Great_Antibob)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2025, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-deal-with-transgender-anymore/1002937/346 "2025-01-20T16:25:33Z")
I still see it at the same level but mainly among the younger set. I think people are seeing less of the outrage bait among older and/or more conservative news outlets. It didn’t end the world, which has moved onto other things for outrage addicts to be angry about. ---
**Author:** ![OldOlds](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a3d4f5/32.png) [@OldOlds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OldOlds)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2025, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-deal-with-transgender-anymore/1002937/347 "2025-01-20T17:44:44Z")
I have to agree that people- in general- seem to really like the recreational outrage these days. I have a trans nephew that recently transitioned from female. Still looks very female to me, and I’ve spent over a decade calling him “her.” I’m very supportive, but once in a while I use the wrong pronoun, and he never misses a chance to have a little meltdown over it. And, by the way, he’s one of those people who has a meltdown if (say) I have a cookout and serve regular hamburger roles. We should all go gluten free just for him, apparently. I don’t mean to pick on him, just pointing out that I’m now old enough to complain that recreational outrage is what’s wrong with kids these days. If someone is trying, and not being a dick, get over it. And 99% of the time you can tell who’s a dick. ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2025, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-deal-with-transgender-anymore/1002937/348 "2025-01-20T18:13:43Z")
> [@OldOlds](#): > > recreational outrage is what’s wrong with kids these days. It doesn’t seem to be in any way limited to the kids. Seems to me that quite a significant percentage of the people recreationally outraged about pronouns, among other things, are older. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2025, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-deal-with-transgender-anymore/1002937/349 "2025-01-20T18:16:52Z")
> [@OldOlds](#): > > have a cookout and serve regular hamburger roles But do they conform to traditional gender rolls? ---
**Author:** ![JackieLikesVariety](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackielikesvariety/32/296_2.png) [@JackieLikesVariety](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JackieLikesVariety)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2025, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-deal-with-transgender-anymore/1002937/350 "2025-01-20T18:17:05Z")
when I see recreational outrage it’s older people at least 3/4 of the time. and I say that as a retired fart. ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2025, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-deal-with-transgender-anymore/1002937/351 "2025-01-20T18:18:19Z")
I am a non-retired old fart. (Old farmers don’t retire, we just gradually turn into compost . . . ) ---
**Author:** ![OldOlds](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a3d4f5/32.png) [@OldOlds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OldOlds)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2025, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-deal-with-transgender-anymore/1002937/352 "2025-01-20T18:19:40Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > But do they conform to traditional gender rolls? I simply cannot believe I did that. I hate myself right now. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2025, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-deal-with-transgender-anymore/1002937/353 "2025-01-20T19:42:14Z")
Aw, c’mon. Just take credit for slipping a funny in there to amuse us all. I grinned when I saw it. 😁 ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2025, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-deal-with-transgender-anymore/1002937/354 "2025-01-20T19:47:01Z")
Exquisite. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2025, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-deal-with-transgender-anymore/1002937/355 "2025-01-20T19:52:55Z")
Thank you. Should I curtsey, or bow? ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2025, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-deal-with-transgender-anymore/1002937/356 "2025-01-20T19:58:11Z")
I can’t make that gender-marked decision for you. ---
**Author:** ![Al128](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/al128/32/16541_2.png) [@Al128](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Al128)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2025, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-deal-with-transgender-anymore/1002937/357 "2025-01-23T00:41:20Z")
> [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](#): > > Can they call you Al? Shirley you can 👍 ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2025, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-deal-with-transgender-anymore/1002937/358 "2025-01-23T05:32:02Z")
> [@mnemosyne](#): > > Then I would use “they/them”, as I’ve said, if I needed to refer to a person who didn’t want to provide any pronouns at all. I’ve come across instances of people who consider themselves gender-indeterminate use they/them/their. I don’t have any issues with their lifestyle choice, but the pronoun just seems so odd. I want to get their attention and say, “You can’t be “they”; there’s only one of you.” It’s also confusing, but I’m sure I’ll get used to it. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2025, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-deal-with-transgender-anymore/1002937/359 "2025-01-23T06:18:35Z")
> [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](#): > > I want to get their attention and say, “You can’t be “they”; there’s only one of you.” Yeah, don’t do that. Anyone who goes by neutral pronouns has heard it a thousand times, and isn’t going to be impressed by your observation. ---
**Author:** ![Pleonast](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pleonast/32/1183_2.png) [@Pleonast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pleonast)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2025, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-deal-with-transgender-anymore/1002937/360 "2025-01-23T06:30:12Z")
> [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](#): > > I want to get their attention and say, “You can’t be “they”; there’s only one of you.” It’s also confusing, but I’m sure I’ll get used to it. If you can handle the pronoun “you”, which can be semantically singular while grammatically plural, you can handle “they” the same way. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-deal-with-transgender-anymore/1002937.md?page=17) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-deal-with-transgender-anymore/1002937.md?page=19)