# I Can't Do This By Myself Anymore **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 31, 2012, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-do-this-by-myself-anymore/611308 "2012-01-31T15:20:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2012, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-do-this-by-myself-anymore/611308/21 "2012-01-31T19:16:31Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > My google-fu fails me, but somewhere on this very board someone quoted what I believe was a Jewish proverb, along the lines of, “You do \*me \*a charitable favor by \*allowing \*me to help you.” But phrased more prettily. 🙂 > > Anyway, I dunno what the deal is with your “stingy relatives” but for the people who DO want to help you … please know that it’s 100 bazillion % OK to accept help when you need it, especially if it benefits your son. You understand wanting to help, right? If something is in your power to do something for someone you care about (or even, simply don’t dislike :)) you’d do it, right? And you’d feel bad if they didn’t let you? > > So … let them. > > Being independent is nice and all, but not if adhering to it makes you so pigheaded that you turn away genuine assistance. Not that you’re pigheaded, necessarily 🙂 but .. you know. > (Ha! I had to correct “stringy” relatives!) I bet they are tough and stringy. And I know- I have a friend that I help out occasionally, and when she gets obstinate about it, I get mad at her for not allowing me to grow as a person by being generous to others. ---
**Author:** ![Sarabellum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sarabellum/32/3492_2.png) [@Sarabellum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sarabellum)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2012, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-do-this-by-myself-anymore/611308/22 "2012-01-31T19:17:07Z")
Mechanical Turk is a website that lets people work (for very low wages) from home. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2012, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-do-this-by-myself-anymore/611308/23 "2012-01-31T19:57:52Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > Okay. Now it seems that getting it out helped me to focus. Weird. Now I have come up with a plan and have taken concrete steps to help get out of not only this immediate situation, but for long-term goals that I’ve been making, as well. I have a whole nother side of my family that I hadn’t reached out to, but now I have. And local resources that I hadn’t called on, as well. Maybe I just had to wallow for a bit. I feel better. Good for you. Everyone wallows sometime. Didn’t REM write a song about it? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2012, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-do-this-by-myself-anymore/611308/24 "2012-01-31T22:30:39Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > \ I have to reach out sooner, but it’s hard for me because I want so much to be independent and not need anyone and it’s shameful for me to not be that way. If your circumstances were normal, you’d probably be doing fine. Your circumstances are NOT normal, and it sounds like you’re doing the best you can with tough problems. If the slammed door is losing your job now, maybe the opened window is that you’re free to move back east where you can get more support for your troubled son. If you figure out what you need, don’t be afraid to ask Dopers, either - it always amazes me how Dopers go out of their way to help each other when we can. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2012, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-do-this-by-myself-anymore/611308/25 "2012-01-31T22:44:56Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > Tired. ☹ I am totally there. It comes to a point that you are just too fucking tired of kicking against the pricks that you lose the whole point of it, that you simply need to keep kicking. So I sold stuffed animals last week. And may go to work for a former competitor (fingers crossed!) next week. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-do-this-by-myself-anymore/611308/26 "2012-02-01T00:02:31Z")
If only a bunch of us Dopers could get together and form a commune to take care of each other, because we do it so well. And maybe we could have a literal pit to throw each other in when we act like jerks. Yeah, that’s the ticket! This is a good community. ---
**Author:** ![ratatoskK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ratatoskk/32/2987_2.png) [@ratatoskK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ratatoskK)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-do-this-by-myself-anymore/611308/27 "2012-02-01T00:09:59Z")
Hey Alice, just wanted to give you a hug.{hug} ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-do-this-by-myself-anymore/611308/28 "2012-02-01T00:18:06Z")
> [@ratatoskK](#): > > Hey Alice, just wanted to give you a hug.{hug} Ah, I needed that. 🙂 Just to share something funny about the boy that’s causing me so much heartache right now- yesterday, I was at the computer, and he walks up and tells me that he doesn’t know what a vagina looks like. So, okay, I wiki it and show him the drawing, with all the parts labeled and everything. When the picture comes up, he draws in his breath and says in hushed, reverent tones, “It’s beautiful!” Oh my god, he does crack me up sometimes. It’s not all bad. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-do-this-by-myself-anymore/611308/29 "2012-02-01T00:22:40Z")
I kinda thought that story was going to go in a different, creepy direction. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-do-this-by-myself-anymore/611308/30 "2012-02-01T00:24:48Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > I kinda thought that story was going to go in a different, creepy direction. 🙂 Haha, yeah, nobody wants that. Although, I tell you, if I was as open with my, uh, self, as he is with his, uh, self, I’d be arrested. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-do-this-by-myself-anymore/611308/31 "2012-02-01T00:42:47Z")
Openness is overrated. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-do-this-by-myself-anymore/611308/32 "2012-02-01T01:06:27Z")
**Alice** , just wanted to say I hear ya. I can’t completely relate to everything you’re going through (mainly because I don’t have any kids of my own), but I definitely sympathize. I’m so sorry you’re going through this and I sincerely hope things start getting better soon. You’ll both be in my thoughts and prayers. Take care of yourself and hang in there. Hugs. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-do-this-by-myself-anymore/611308/33 "2012-02-01T01:10:06Z")
> [@faithfool](#): > > **Alice** , just wanted to say I hear ya. I can’t completely relate to everything you’re going through (mainly because I don’t have any kids of my own), but I definitely sympathize. I’m so sorry you’re going through this and I sincerely hope things start getting better soon. > > You’ll both be in my thoughts and prayers. Take care of yourself and hang in there. Hugs. Thank you. I feel that you’ve probably been through similar things with your husband lately- especially the feeling of working working working for someone and not being treated especially nicely for it. It’s frustrating. Hugs right back at you. ---
**Author:** ![gardentraveler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gardentraveler/32/3576_2.png) [@gardentraveler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gardentraveler)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-do-this-by-myself-anymore/611308/34 "2012-02-01T01:36:22Z")
I’m sorry to read that things are so rough for you, **Alice**. Glad things seem to be moving in a positive direction. You’re in my thoughts. Hugs. ---
**Author:** ![Renee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/renee/32/287_2.png) [@Renee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Renee)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-do-this-by-myself-anymore/611308/35 "2012-02-01T01:51:57Z")
Wow, that sounds insanely hard. I have no advice or help to offer, but you’re definitely in my thoughts, and I sincerely hope things get a lot better for you very soon. Love the thing about the vagina, too funny, 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-do-this-by-myself-anymore/611308/36 "2012-02-01T01:57:21Z")
> [@Renee](#): > > Wow, that sounds insanely hard. I have no advice or help to offer, but you’re definitely in my thoughts, and I sincerely hope things get a lot better for you very soon. > > Love the thing about the vagina, too funny, 🙂 I was so glad to know he didn’t know what one looked like- at least we’re not having\* those \*problems! 😛 I’ve put it in motion to get out of town and move back east. I feel that this will help with a lot of my long-term goals, for many reasons. So I feel better about that, at least. ---
**Author:** ![kayT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayt/32/3633_2.png) [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-do-this-by-myself-anymore/611308/37 "2012-02-01T01:59:26Z")
**Alice** , I just want to say that I think you are an amazing person to be dealing with all that you have on your plate and still remember what another person is going through. You are awesome. Please come here to vent any time and if you need help just ask for it. ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-do-this-by-myself-anymore/611308/38 "2012-02-01T02:11:16Z")
Alice, I hope things go well for you. It was unexpected but it seems like it could be good. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-do-this-by-myself-anymore/611308/39 "2012-02-01T02:22:53Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > If only a bunch of us Dopers could get together and form a commune to take care of each other, because we do it so well. And maybe we could have a literal pit to throw each other in when we act like jerks. Yeah, that’s the ticket! This is a good community. If we were forced to be together, we’d be biting each others’ heads off within a week. 🙂 But seriously, it feels good to help… it is not a problem! I’m glad things are looking up for you. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-do-this-by-myself-anymore/611308/40 "2012-02-01T02:24:04Z")
> [@kayT](#): > > **Alice** , I just want to say that I think you are an amazing person to be dealing with all that you have on your plate and still remember what another person is going through. You are awesome. Please come here to vent any time and if you need help just ask for it. Oh, god, no, I’m not awesome. It’s my fault he’s like this, it’s my fault I’m breaking right now, and sometimes, when he’s screaming at me “fuck you, bitch!” like he is right this moment from his room, where I banished him for lying, _again_, I wonder if I still love him, which makes me feel like a horrible person. So no, not awesome. Human, possibly. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-do-this-by-myself-anymore/611308.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-do-this-by-myself-anymore/611308.md?page=3)