# I can't find my infant son anywhere **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 12, 2016, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-find-my-infant-son-anywhere/742953 "2016-01-12T19:31:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Uzi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/91b2a8/32.png) [@Uzi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uzi)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2016, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-find-my-infant-son-anywhere/742953/21 "2016-01-13T01:56:46Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > I’m thinking it’s time to cook some **Snake Surprise**! A variant on turducken. Yumm! ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2016, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-find-my-infant-son-anywhere/742953/22 "2016-01-13T02:49:43Z")
Damn, I missed another one! ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2016, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-find-my-infant-son-anywhere/742953/23 "2016-01-13T04:41:14Z")
> [@Happy\_Lendervedder](#): > > Funny responses everyone, but in all seriousness, I really hope the OP has called the police and scheduled an appointment with the vet by now. Missing children and serpentine illnesses are nothing to take a “wait and see” approach on. #realtalk Black Mamba Lives Matter ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2016, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-find-my-infant-son-anywhere/742953/24 "2016-01-13T13:50:04Z")
> [@Uzi](#): > > A variant on turducken. Yumm! Sninfant? ---
**Author:** ![leftfield6](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leftfield6/32/18780_2.png) [@leftfield6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leftfield6)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2016, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-find-my-infant-son-anywhere/742953/25 "2016-01-13T13:59:30Z")
I’d go with “Snaby”. If the kid was a few years older, we could use “Snoddler”. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2016, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-find-my-infant-son-anywhere/742953/26 "2016-01-13T14:14:34Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Damn, I missed another one! C’mon in! We’re not done yet; there’re room for many more. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2016, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-find-my-infant-son-anywhere/742953/27 "2016-01-13T14:19:48Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > C’mon in! We’re not done yet; there’re room for many more. How big _is_ this snake? ---
**Author:** ![botsgotme](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@botsgotme](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/botsgotme)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2016, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-find-my-infant-son-anywhere/742953/28 "2016-01-13T14:21:42Z")
Is this like the snake that swallowed the porcupine? Alas, the snake died. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2016, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-find-my-infant-son-anywhere/742953/29 "2016-01-13T14:44:31Z")
> [@leftfield6](#): > > I’d go with “Snaby”. If the kid was a few years older, we could use “Snoddler”. If you’re going to sauté or deep fry this dish, be sure to use pure baby oil for the complete authentic flavor. ---
**Author:** ![Gothic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/839c29/32.png) [@Gothic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gothic)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2016, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-find-my-infant-son-anywhere/742953/30 "2016-01-13T14:50:29Z")
That poor snake, I hope you took it to the vet. Lumps could be from a variety of factors like parasites, blisters, and a small chance of cancer. [http://www.petplace.com/article/reptiles/general/illnesses-conditions-of-reptiles/lumps-and-bumps-in-snakes](http://www.petplace.com/article/reptiles/general/illnesses-conditions-of-reptiles/lumps-and-bumps-in-snakes) Please keep us updated. Why didn’t you ask this in GQ like all the others? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2016, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-find-my-infant-son-anywhere/742953/31 "2016-01-13T15:31:18Z")
> [@Gothic](#): > > That poor snake… Yeah, I wonder how much sympathy would’ve been extended to the snake if the situation had been reversed. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2016, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-find-my-infant-son-anywhere/742953/32 "2016-01-13T15:37:14Z")
[Reconstruction of the incident.](https://c1.staticflickr.com/7/6086/6042405823_370f2a2517_z.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2016, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-find-my-infant-son-anywhere/742953/33 "2016-01-13T16:38:53Z")
> [@running\_coach](#): > > [Reconstruction of the incident.](https://c1.staticflickr.com/7/6086/6042405823_370f2a2517_z.jpg) Psst. Buddy … Check post #6. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2016, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-find-my-infant-son-anywhere/742953/34 "2016-01-13T21:07:49Z")
> [@leftfield6](#): > > I’d go with “Snaby”. If the kid was a few years older, we could use “Snoddler”. I’m going to change my Call of Duty name to “Snoddler.” ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2016, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-find-my-infant-son-anywhere/742953/35 "2016-01-13T22:27:36Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > Psst. Buddy … Check post #6. Totally missed it. 🆒 (Blind man) ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2016, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-find-my-infant-son-anywhere/742953/36 "2016-01-13T23:35:27Z")
> [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > “Need answer fast”? But the snake didn’t fast. But the OP can try to make the snake burp. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2016, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-find-my-infant-son-anywhere/742953/37 "2016-01-14T00:04:10Z")
I am sure you are a great and caring snake handler but that is a piss poor way of producing food in bulk for your snake. The food chain is all screwed up if you do it that way (snakes can’t digest diapers very well for one thing but once probably won’t hurt him). It is much cheaper to feed your snake regularly with kittens instead of making it wait 9 months every time for a decent meal. I know you didn’t know any better but that is practically animal cruelty. ---
**Author:** ![excavating\_for\_a\_mind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e8c25b/32.png) [@excavating\_for\_a\_mind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/excavating_for_a_mind)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2016, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-find-my-infant-son-anywhere/742953/38 "2016-01-14T00:47:31Z")
> [@running\_coach](#): > > Totally missed it. 🆒 (Blind man) Good thing it wasn’t a snake. Oh wait… ---
**Author:** ![DiggitCamara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/df788c/32.png) [@DiggitCamara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiggitCamara)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2016, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-find-my-infant-son-anywhere/742953/39 "2016-01-14T00:56:33Z")
> [@wolfman](#): > > Missing child? impossibly rapid developing tumor? The answer is obvious. > You have a localized time rift in your house somewhere. Calibrate your cell phone to detect tachyons, and once you find it close it up with duck tape. Quack! ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2016, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-find-my-infant-son-anywhere/742953/40 "2016-01-14T00:57:05Z")
> [@excavating\_for\_a\_mind](#): > > Good thing it wasn’t a snake. > > Oh wait… If it were a snake, it would have bitten your child. :dubious: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-find-my-infant-son-anywhere/742953.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-find-my-infant-son-anywhere/742953.md?page=3)