# I can't find my infant son anywhere **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 12, 2016, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-find-my-infant-son-anywhere/742953 "2016-01-12T19:31:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2016, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-find-my-infant-son-anywhere/742953/41 "2016-01-14T13:26:38Z")
> [@Voyager](#): > > But the snake didn’t fast. > > But the OP can try to make the snake burp. But try to be discreet when you Burp The Snake. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2016, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-find-my-infant-son-anywhere/742953/42 "2016-01-14T13:30:01Z")
Your baby is dead … dead tired of snakes who don’t ask before digging into your food. ---
**Author:** ![botsgotme](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@botsgotme](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/botsgotme)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2016, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-find-my-infant-son-anywhere/742953/43 "2016-01-14T13:43:51Z")
“maybe he’s between the spring and the mattress!” (Moe Howard-just had to post this.🙂 ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2016, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-find-my-infant-son-anywhere/742953/44 "2016-01-14T16:07:52Z")
Have you called the Department of Missing Babies? ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2016, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-find-my-infant-son-anywhere/742953/45 "2016-01-14T19:10:00Z")
I wouldn’t say I’ve been **missing** it, Bob. ---
**Author:** ![Marine\_One](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/marine_one/32/3461_2.png) [@Marine\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marine_One)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2016, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-find-my-infant-son-anywhere/742953/46 "2016-01-14T20:42:15Z")
Are there any dingos in your neighborhood? They always blame them. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2016, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-find-my-infant-son-anywhere/742953/47 "2016-01-14T20:46:48Z")
> [@Marine\_One](#): > > Are there any dingos in your neighborhood? They always blame them. Don’t you have to stand on your head? ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2016, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-find-my-infant-son-anywhere/742953/48 "2016-01-14T20:51:09Z")
> [@leftfield6](#): > > I’d go with “Snaby”. If the kid was a few years older, we could use “Snoddler”. _Schlangebrat_. ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2016, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-find-my-infant-son-anywhere/742953/49 "2016-01-14T21:54:03Z")
I would suggest keeping any Schlongs away from both infants and snakes. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2016, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-find-my-infant-son-anywhere/742953/50 "2016-01-14T23:20:54Z")
> [@wolfman](#): > > I would suggest keeping any Schlongs away from both infants and snakes. I’m told it is sometimes difficult to ascertain the difference. ---
**Author:** ![pythonzzz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9e8a1a/32.png) [@pythonzzz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pythonzzz)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2016, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-find-my-infant-son-anywhere/742953/51 "2016-01-14T23:34:47Z")
Why’s everyone looking at me?? I didn’t do nothin’… [![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/mm0Gz_6Nwxo/hqdefault.jpg "Someone Ate the Baby") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mm0Gz_6Nwxo) ---
**Author:** ![bb49](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b38774/32.png) [@bb49](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bb49)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2016, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-find-my-infant-son-anywhere/742953/52 "2016-01-15T04:35:40Z")
That’s not the snake you’re looking at, it’s your child. That little pill you took earlier, it was LSD. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2016, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-find-my-infant-son-anywhere/742953/53 "2016-01-15T15:47:11Z")
Coincidentally, the baby had just swallowed a frog that swallowed a fly. I don’t know why. ---
**Author:** ![Ale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Ale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ale)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2016, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-find-my-infant-son-anywhere/742953/54 "2016-01-15T16:11:29Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > I’m told it is sometimes difficult to ascertain the difference. By David Icke? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-find-my-infant-son-anywhere/742953.md?page=2)