# I can't get a date -- on a DATING site! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 9, 2003, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-get-a-date-on-a-dating-site/187249 "2003-07-09T15:37:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Wintermute](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e19b73/32.png) [@Wintermute](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wintermute)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2003, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-get-a-date-on-a-dating-site/187249/41 "2003-07-10T16:28:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scuba\_Ben \* > \*\* I’ve got these new skills for dealing with people and these new outgoing attitudes, and I’m looking for opportunities to use them… > > …Third, I may want to hunt down **TruePisces** and arrange for some private tutoring from the Straight Dope Flirt Academy.\*\* Hey, **Scuba\_Ben** , I’m not sure where you are located, but if you were looking up **True Pisces** because you live in PA, consider dropping me a line. I moved to PA just about a year ago and don’t know many people here; most of my friends live in NJ. I’m not looking for a relationship, but I can always use a friend. And I am a huge flirt, and wouldn’t mind helping you hone your skills. Or just e-mail me and we can flirt that way. The address is in my profile. > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Scuba\_Ben \* > \*\* Next week I may want to start a MPSIMS thread for the SDMB Singles Support Sircle, as constructive discussion definitely belongs outside the Pit._\* I think this is a good idea, and I hope you do it. I’ll definitely watch for it. ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2003, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-get-a-date-on-a-dating-site/187249/42 "2003-07-10T16:59:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Wintermute \* > \*\*Hey, **Scuba\_Ben** , I’m not sure where you are located, but if you were looking up **True Pisces** because you live in PA, consider dropping me a line. \*\* I live in the Philly suburbs, and Dutch Springs (my “location”) is between Allentown and Bethlehem. (As it happens, I’m going up there this weekend to go jump in the lake.) I met **TruePisces** back in February at the first Philly Dope Fest; my overstuffed schedule kept me away from her Dope Fests since then. Now that my schedule is more open, I’m looking to start attending the fests. > [@](#): > > I moved to PA just about a year ago and don’t know many people here; most of my friends live in NJ. I’m not looking for a relationship, but I can always use a friend. And I am a huge flirt, and wouldn’t mind helping you hone your skills. Or just e-mail me and we can flirt that way. The address is in my profile. Sounds like a good idea. Please check your email, Wintermute. :: Addresses everybody :: I sent out a couple more messages this morning. I made sure that everything I said related directly to something in the lady’s profile, and I asked open-ended questions about the ladies’ interests. (In one case, I outright asked what interests she had that weren’t in her profile.) I also realized, this time, that it’s quite possible the dating site requires members to pay to make **any** contact through the site, including replying to emails, so I included my cell phone number. (I know I did this in at least one case, but I’m not sure if I did this in all cases.) So further constructive commentary will be migrating to MPSIMS next week in the S.S.S.S. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Miskatonic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.miskatonic/32/310_2.png) [@Mr.Miskatonic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Miskatonic)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2003, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-get-a-date-on-a-dating-site/187249/43 "2003-07-10T17:18:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by andymurph64 \* > \*\*And for some humor…a personal ad to English translation: > > Full-figured == fat > > Must like children == not a hypothetical question. Must like other guys children. > > Size/weight proportional == fat > > Financially secure == must have a full time job and not be living with mommy. > > Friends first (guy) == Ya right! I’m trying to be nonthreatening! > > Friends first (gal) == I will sleep with you quickly if your hot but otherwise we don’t touch at all! Ok? > > Looking for physically fit… == Looking for someone not fat. > > Looking for professional… == Looking for someone who makes bucks. A professional like a teacher is not what she has in mind. > > looking for active… == Looking for someone not fat. > > attractive == I’m hot and I know it. You better be to. > > I need to go. Feel free to ad on? 😉 \*\* “Looking for Career Oriented” = Make so much money that I won’t care if you’re never home. “Looking for athletic” = Looking for someone Not fat. “I’m a (insert vauge hint of being sexually promiscuous)” == For men = creep == For women = Prepare to be overwhelmed with replies. “No collect calls” = I’m a hot babe and I don’t even need to pay for this service to use it. hah! “I’m an MBA” == Count the cash chicks! “I like walks on the beach and puppies” == I’m incredibly boring white bread. “Looking for successful” = I wanna count your cash! “Curvey” = Fat “Curves in all the Right Places” = Fat ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2003, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-get-a-date-on-a-dating-site/187249/44 "2003-07-10T17:45:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scuba\_Ben \* > \*\*I sent out a couple more messages this morning. I made sure that everything I said related directly to something in the lady’s profile, and I asked open-ended questions about the ladies’ interests. (In one case, I outright asked what interests she had that weren’t in her profile.) I also realized, this time, that it’s quite possible the dating site requires members to pay to make **any** contact through the site, including replying to emails, so I included my cell phone number. \*\* I wouldn’t put my cellphone # in right away, I used to put my email addy in there if it was a ‘pay to respond’ type of site. Most women i’ve met online wouldn’t have a phone call be the first type of contact. I eventually got to the point where my notes would be “Hey, i liked your ad, check out my ad, and let me know if you want to talk.” Not sure if that worked better or worse, but I didn’t have to wrack my brain for intelligent discourse with someone I didn’t know. ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2003, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-get-a-date-on-a-dating-site/187249/45 "2003-07-10T19:12:31Z")
I’m keeping pace with you, **Cheesesteak**. I’ve checked the site and they say that members only need to pay to initiate contact; replies are free. So I shouldn’t need to send out my cell phone # so soon. ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_Winker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/71e660/32.png) [@Tim\_Winker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_Winker)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2003, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-get-a-date-on-a-dating-site/187249/46 "2003-07-10T19:23:12Z")
If you’re in the Bay Area, [Craigslist.org](http://Craigslist.org) is a great place to meet people. All of it is free, and people are pretty honest about what they are looking for and what they are like. ---
**Author:** ![Bongmaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Bongmaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bongmaster)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2003, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-get-a-date-on-a-dating-site/187249/47 "2003-07-10T20:55:17Z")
Cool, fellow PA people! I live in Bensalem just outside of the city, feel free to drop me a line if you need any info/help/friendly ear: \ ---
**Author:** ![lorinada](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b5e925/32.png) [@lorinada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorinada)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2003, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-get-a-date-on-a-dating-site/187249/48 "2003-07-10T22:16:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by RickJay \* > \*\* It should not be negative … don’t say you hate Survivor (no offense, lorinada) \*\* Hmmm, none taken, since I didn’t even say that in my post, much less in my ad 😕 And, I wasn’t asking for advice. My ad says exactly what I want it to say. It’s very similarly worded (just updated) to the one I placed about 15 years ago that netted about 300 replies, about 30 dates, and one very-long-term relationship. I’m not getting answers this time because I’m fat, and I’m very upfront about it, not because I have “negatives” in my ad. But thanks! 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-get-a-date-on-a-dating-site/187249.md?page=2)