# I can't join a gym because people suck (long) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 28, 2010, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-join-a-gym-because-people-suck-long/541099 "2010-05-28T18:45:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2010, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-join-a-gym-because-people-suck-long/541099/41 "2010-05-29T01:01:58Z")
> [@bucketybuck](#): > > For these issues, I suggest an extended period of weight training, changing Mr Wimpy into Mr Muscle and giving said numpty the confidence to deal with all those pesky people getting in his way. According to Charles Atlas, making a man out of Mac requires the guy doing the lateral raises to have stolen the OP’s girlfriend. Nice thought, though. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2010, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-join-a-gym-because-people-suck-long/541099/42 "2010-05-29T01:15:19Z")
Gawd. And I thought going to Walmart was bad… ---
**Author:** ![Trepa\_Mayfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@Trepa\_Mayfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trepa_Mayfield)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2010, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-join-a-gym-because-people-suck-long/541099/43 "2010-05-29T01:32:43Z")
> [@x-ray\_vision](#): > > The younger me got in enough altercations mostly because I had to prove to myself that I don’t take any shit, but now I’m confident enough to know I can walk away from petty bullshit even though I’m annoyed rather than have my day ruined. I totally don’t understand this at all. Could you please explain? (genuinely curious) ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2010, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-join-a-gym-because-people-suck-long/541099/44 "2010-05-29T02:00:57Z")
> [@x-ray\_vision](#): > > Huh? I never complained that someone doesn’t use the weight I do. I complained that they are doing movements that don’t require the use of a squat rack at the squat rack. For YOU that light a weight doesn’t require the use of a squat rack. You cannot tell just by looking at someone what physical limitations they may have. Some muscle conditions (I know, I have one) cause sudden, excruciating pain and/or sudden muscle failure. Other than that, I can understand where you’re coming from. There are a lot of people out there afflicted with i’m-the-only-person-in-existanceitis. For folks who DO try to look around and observe who else their actions might be affecting (and then behave considerately based upon those observations) this can drive a person bonkers. I haven’t figured out an answer on how to avoid or minimize their affect on me in other areas, but at the gym, there IS something you can do to get “around” them. Once upon a time, before I was a fat grandma, I was a serious gym-rat. I was very much like you, I was all business and wanted to get in, KILL, and get out. NOW please! Unfortunately, oblivious folks as you mention, or others who are merely also doing their routines get in the way of your own schedule. So I had several “back up” sets that I’d add in as just-in-case sets. If I got stuck behind someone like the guy at the weight rack, I’d go to my back up arm sets…stuff like that. I think the reason it’s so upsetting is; 1.) it screws up your pre-set schedule 2.) How the HELL can these people be so oblivious??? 3.) it is beyond your control, and most of us hate not being “in control”. Having a back up plan puts you back in the driver’s seat. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![x-ray\_vision](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/x-ray_vision/32/351_2.png) [@x-ray\_vision](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/x-ray_vision)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2010, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-join-a-gym-because-people-suck-long/541099/45 "2010-05-29T02:03:35Z")
> [@pedescribe](#): > > I totally don’t understand this at all. Could you please explain? (genuinely curious) When I was much younger and something would really piss me off, for instance, a guy in another car giving me the finger, I would sometimes pull stupid shit like getting out of my car at a stop light and starting an altercation with the guy. I say I have slight anger issues now, but they were much worse in my teens and early 20s. Reflecting on why I did these things and attempting to remember what was going on in my head at the moment, I realized I would rather get in a fight or some other trouble over something ridiculous, rather than let it go because I didn’t want to later regret _“pussying out”_. I was finally able to be confident enough to let things go and realize the reason I did wasn’t because I was a pussy, but because I was allowing others have control over me by getting in a tizzy over something inconsequential. This would often lead to a totally ruined day/night for not just me, but often my girlfriend at the time. Now a drunk in a bar saying something about my mother is still going to piss me off, but only fleetingly and I’ll be able to go back to having a good time instead of ending up bloody in the back of a police vehicle. Sorry for going way off topic, but you wanted to know. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![x-ray\_vision](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/x-ray_vision/32/351_2.png) [@x-ray\_vision](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/x-ray_vision)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2010, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-join-a-gym-because-people-suck-long/541099/46 "2010-05-29T02:12:23Z")
> [@CanvasShoes](#): > > For YOU that light a weight doesn’t require the use of a squat rack. You cannot tell just by looking at someone what physical limitations they may have. Some muscle conditions (I know, I have one) cause sudden, excruciating pain and/or sudden muscle failure. The young man I witnessed doing bent over rows with 65lbs. at the squat rack was doing them rather effortlessly and able to bend pretty low. There’s no need to take up one of two squat racks for this type of movement. He could have brought a shorter pre-loaded bar to plenty of the empty floor space available. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2010, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-join-a-gym-because-people-suck-long/541099/47 "2010-05-29T02:15:21Z")
So now you’re projecting that onto the guy working out, assuming that HE would be the same way, if you said, “excuse me?” :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![x-ray\_vision](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/x-ray_vision/32/351_2.png) [@x-ray\_vision](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/x-ray_vision)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2010, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-join-a-gym-because-people-suck-long/541099/48 "2010-05-29T02:30:11Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > So now you’re projecting that onto the guy working out, assuming that HE would be the same way, if you said, “excuse me?” :dubious: Not exactly. I realize that although annoyed at someone working out in front of a dumbbell rack, my annoyance will be fleeting and realizing he’ll be out of the way in a relative few moments is the preferable option over interrupting someone while in the middle of a set. I thought I explained this already? If anyone else wants to focus on why I didn’t say “excuse me” to someone, please start another thread. I think I said enough about it already and my annoyance at the gym was not solely or even mostly about this. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2010, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-join-a-gym-because-people-suck-long/541099/49 "2010-05-29T02:39:31Z")
> [@x-ray\_vision](#): > > … my annoyance at the gym was not solely or even mostly about this. I agree with that. I think what set you off was the guy at the front desk, and after that, you were prepared to be pissed off. I’m not sure that there is much of a solution for this situation, and I’m not sure there needs to be. If one walks for the first time into a retail establishment and is treated like shit from the get-go, and one finds that the establishment does not suit ones needs, well, go somewhere else. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2010, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-join-a-gym-because-people-suck-long/541099/50 "2010-05-29T02:40:12Z")
> [@x-ray\_vision](#): > > The young man I witnessed doing bent over rows with 65lbs. at the squat rack was doing them rather effortlessly and able to bend pretty low. There’s no need to take up one of two squat racks for this type of movement. He could have brought a shorter pre-loaded bar to plenty of the empty floor space available. Sweetie, you missed my entire point. I too would look as if I were doing squats “effortlessly” until one of my unreliable knees locked up and nearly sent me down. Without the squat rack there for safety, and to grab onto prevent my fall, I would end up on the floor with the bar on top of me. I’m not saying that the young man doing the squats DID have any sort of physical issues. But you can not tell just be looking. You’re making an assumption based upon your own assessment of the situation, not based upon what may or may not be the actual truth, just like the guy at the weight rack. It sounds as if your slight anger issues have a lot to do with making assumptions about “Oh, if I try to ask Person A such and such, they’re just going to start an altercation”. That’s why people keep bringing up the guy at the weight rack, not necessarily because they are trying to help you solve that specific problem, but because your attitude as expressed in that one example, very much seems to be at the root of your problems with anger, Period. The other parts of my post ( regarding options to get around people in the way) will probably be a lot more helpful to you. ---
**Author:** ![x-ray\_vision](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/x-ray_vision/32/351_2.png) [@x-ray\_vision](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/x-ray_vision)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2010, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-join-a-gym-because-people-suck-long/541099/51 "2010-05-29T03:01:10Z")
> [@CanvasShoes](#): > > Sweetie, you missed my entire point. I too would look as if I were doing squats “effortlessly” until one of my unreliable knees locked up and nearly sent me down. Without the squat rack there for safety, and to grab onto prevent my fall, I would end up on the floor with the bar on top of me. > > I’m not saying that the young man doing the squats DID have any sort of physical issues. But you can not tell just be looking. You’re making an assumption based upon your own assessment of the situation, not based upon what may or may not be the actual truth, just like the guy at the weight rack. I didn’t miss your point. Of course it’s _possible_, but I doubt it. He was too nimble and bending way low without any issues. I disagree that his abilities can’t be assessed by just looking. He was obviously not relying on the rack for any sort of support or using it as insurance. ---
**Author:** ![x-ray\_vision](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/x-ray_vision/32/351_2.png) [@x-ray\_vision](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/x-ray_vision)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2010, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-join-a-gym-because-people-suck-long/541099/52 "2010-05-29T03:20:20Z")
> [@CanvasShoes](#): > > It sounds as if your slight anger issues have a lot to do with making assumptions about "Oh, if I try to ask Person A such and such… You’re wrong. I get annoyed when someone stands in front of a dumbbell rack for the same reasons multiple others in this thread have expressed. It has nothing to do with preconceived notions about how they would react to a request to move. I’d be just as annoyed either way and it’s because it’s inconsiderate and it’s such an obvious breach of etiquette that is way too common. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2010, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-join-a-gym-because-people-suck-long/541099/53 "2010-05-29T03:43:57Z")
> [@x-ray\_vision](#): > > You’re wrong. I get annoyed when someone stands in front of a dumbbell rack for the same reasons multiple others in this thread have expressed. It has nothing to do with preconceived notions about how they would react to a request to move. I’d be just as annoyed either way and it’s because it’s inconsiderate and it’s such an obvious breach of etiquette that is way too common. So why the hell didn’t you say, “Excuse me, do you mind if I…” ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2010, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-join-a-gym-because-people-suck-long/541099/54 "2010-05-29T06:37:37Z")
> [@sqweels](#): > > Forget it, Jake, it’s New Jersey. Wait, North or South Jersey? ---
**Author:** ![3trew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/13edae/32.png) [@3trew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3trew)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2010, 7:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-join-a-gym-because-people-suck-long/541099/55 "2010-05-29T07:10:56Z")
> [@x-ray\_vision](#): > > The young man I witnessed doing bent over rows with 65lbs. at the squat rack was doing them rather effortlessly and able to bend pretty low. There’s no need to take up one of two squat racks for this type of movement. He could have brought a shorter pre-loaded bar to plenty of the empty floor space available. [QUOTE=CanvasShoes] Sweetie, you missed my entire point. I too would look as if I were doing squats “effortlessly” until one of my unreliable knees locked up and nearly sent me down. Without the squat rack there for safety, and to grab onto prevent my fall, I would end up on the floor with the bar on top of me. [/QUOTE] So, you’d have been doing squats in the squat rack, unlike the guy doing bent over rows, and you would need the squat rack for safety while doing those squats, because unlike a bent row you can’t just drop the weight. You go ahead and use the squat rack to do your squats. The guy doing bent over rows? He can go someplace else. ---
**Author:** ![Acid\_Lamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Acid\_Lamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acid_Lamp)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2010, 11:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-join-a-gym-because-people-suck-long/541099/56 "2010-05-29T11:51:06Z")
> [@x-ray\_vision](#): > > If you workout right in front of the dumbbell rack, you’re an inconsiderate douche bag that doesn’t bother to think for a moment that they’re inconveniencing someone else. Pussy. Pussy, pussy pussy. Ask that fucker to move, or get the hell over it. The worst thing that happens is that he becomes aggressive and you have to report him to the management. Getting pissed over someone’s inconsiderateness that you won’t even bother to say something about is the height of cowardice or arrogance. Pussy. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2010, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-join-a-gym-because-people-suck-long/541099/57 "2010-05-29T14:29:07Z")
> [@x-ray\_vision](#): > > I’m not so sure that would be the end of the conflict but the beginning of one. I have a feeling plenty of people would look over at me annoyed and respond “you wanna hold on 'till the end of my set, pal?”, or something similar. I play tennis. There are a handful of women in my league who ALWAYS get into confrontations with their opponents. One day, one of the players was ranting off court about how ONCE AGAIN her opponent got all nasty with her and WHY does she always play against the assholes? One of the pros, an itty bitty Thai woman, said very quietly, “Maybe they mirror back to you what you are projecting to them.” I’ll reiterate that you might try some cardio to relieve the stress you’re carrying. Yes, yes, I know that weight lifting is aerobic, but it’s not the same as running when it comes to releasing anger. ---
**Author:** ![x-ray\_vision](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/x-ray_vision/32/351_2.png) [@x-ray\_vision](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/x-ray_vision)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2010, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-join-a-gym-because-people-suck-long/541099/58 "2010-05-29T14:36:10Z")
> [@PunditLisa](#): > > Yes, yes, I know that weight lifting is aerobic I don’t think that’s true, unless you’re doing something like a traditional aerobic exercise with weights in your hands, but I wouldn’t really call that _weight lifting_. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2010, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-join-a-gym-because-people-suck-long/541099/59 "2010-05-29T14:42:06Z")
> [@x-ray\_vision](#): > > I don’t think that’s true, unless you’re doing something like a traditional aerobic exercise with weights in your hands, but I wouldn’t really call that _weight lifting_. It depends on how out-of-shape you are, and how fast you do it. But, you’re right, generally, it’s not very good aerobics. But it can get you winded and get your heart rate up. At least, that’s what I learned in my Gym class at college… ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2010, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-join-a-gym-because-people-suck-long/541099/60 "2010-05-29T15:15:43Z")
> [@x-ray\_vision](#): > > So, I go to get a pair of dumbbells in the weight increment I need, but someone is doing lateral raises RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE DUMBBELL RACK! **He’ll be gone in a few moments, right? Nope**. He’s using light weight in front of the heavy dumbbells **and he’s going for distance**. Plenty of room to step back away from it, but why should he give a shit about anyone else? My head is going to explode. So, when you wrote this were just being going for dramatic effect or did you really believe he was going to be there for awhile? And if you believed he was going to be there for awhile, why didn’t you say “excuse me,” grab your weight(s) and get on with your workout without getting more angry at what this asshole _had done to you_, instead of what you _had done to yourself_? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-join-a-gym-because-people-suck-long/541099.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-join-a-gym-because-people-suck-long/541099.md?page=4)