# I can't read this girl at all! (how do I know if she's into me?) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 3, 2007, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-read-this-girl-at-all-how-do-i-know-if-shes-into-me/417883 "2007-09-03T06:39:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2007, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-read-this-girl-at-all-how-do-i-know-if-shes-into-me/417883/61 "2007-09-05T19:27:13Z")
[QUOTE=jsgoddess] The way to find out if the girl is into him _right now_ is by asking her. It won’t answer whether she might be into him a year from now, but there’s nothing that can answer that question. And I don’t believe in a five minute rule, but they’ve spent more time together than that and if she doesn’t have any interest at the moment I’d think she would know that. [/QUOTE] I’d tend to agree with that. I do change my mind often (it’s a woman’s privilege, after all) but not in small time frames. If I’m repelled or annoyed by someone, it may change in a few months/a year. And if I want to jump your bones…it’ll take a while for _that_ feeling to go away. 🙂 If I’m hanging out with a guy on a regular basis and I don’t know, it’s probably because I don’t really like him that way. My juices are…well, either they flow or they don’t. ---
**Author:** ![kidchameleon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/898d66/32.png) [@kidchameleon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kidchameleon)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2007, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-read-this-girl-at-all-how-do-i-know-if-shes-into-me/417883/62 "2007-09-05T19:46:55Z")
[QUOTE=JoeSki] **Red Barchetta** In a past post, someone said that there are two ways to find out if a girl like you. 1. If she feeds you something, offers you a snack, or cooks for you. 2. If she attempt to groom you somehow. I’ve found this to be ironclad. [/QUOTE] Bah! I had a cute neighbor I was trying to get to go out and she made dinner for me, but all she wanted was a friend. Bah, I say! ---
**Author:** ![Oredigger77](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oredigger77/32/3181_2.png) [@Oredigger77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oredigger77)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2007, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-read-this-girl-at-all-how-do-i-know-if-shes-into-me/417883/63 "2007-09-05T19:50:22Z")
As a guy who just went through a similar situation make sure you actually use the word date the next time you talk about going out it makes things perfectly clear. For instance “Hey, I got an idea for our next date.” to which you either get “date?” or hopefully “Sure what ya got?”. It makes life simple and you have an easy out in the case of the first one with “Oh, I’m sorry I meant: next time we hang out”. Trust me all will be clear though probably not to your liking if your not already sure. ---
**Author:** ![tiltypig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dbc845/32.png) [@tiltypig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiltypig)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2007, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-read-this-girl-at-all-how-do-i-know-if-shes-into-me/417883/64 "2007-09-05T19:57:17Z")
[QUOTE=kidchameleon] Bah! I had a cute neighbor I was trying to get to go out and she made dinner for me, but all she wanted was a friend. Bah, I say! [/QUOTE] Yeah, I totally disagree with this, too. I like to cook, so I’m sure I’ve given food to male friends I had no romantic interest in. The grooming thing, maybe. But that’s a pretty passive way to try and figure things out. ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2007, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-read-this-girl-at-all-how-do-i-know-if-shes-into-me/417883/65 "2007-09-05T20:10:10Z")
[QUOTE=JoeSki] **Red Barchetta** In a past post, someone said that there are two ways to find out if a girl like you. 1. If she feeds you something, offers you a snack, or cooks for you. 2. If she attempt to groom you somehow. I’ve found this to be ironclad. Or you could say “Coworker, you’re attracted to me. I’m taking you out”, while wearing a huge smile. If she says no, say “Don’t say no, say yes, I’m going to show you a fantastic time.” Tell her what you have in mind. If she still says no, the answer is no…and by that point, you’ve shown enough confidence she won’t feel too bad about saying it. [/QUOTE] I’ve had one co-worker play with my hair today and another feed me and I assure you that neither is the least bit interested in me. ---
**Author:** ![dmatsch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3be4f8/32.png) [@dmatsch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dmatsch)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2007, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-read-this-girl-at-all-how-do-i-know-if-shes-into-me/417883/66 "2007-09-05T20:36:23Z")
I’m just glad I’m not the only one who is completely clueless with regards to dating and the mixed (false, non-existent, misleading) “signals” women give (or not). Yeah, I’m talking at you, S. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2007, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-read-this-girl-at-all-how-do-i-know-if-shes-into-me/417883/67 "2007-09-05T20:39:03Z")
[QUOTE=tiltypig] The grooming thing, maybe. But that’s a pretty passive way to try and figure things out. [/QUOTE] Meh. Four friends of mine were plucking hairs out of a guy’s back by the pool last weekend. They were either not/no longer interested in jumping his bones. Grooming is more of the comfortable girlfriend (or evolutionary) phase, not the ‘let’s screw’ phase of a relationship. ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2007, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-read-this-girl-at-all-how-do-i-know-if-shes-into-me/417883/68 "2007-09-05T20:47:18Z")
[QUOTE=Aesiron] I’ve had one co-worker play with my hair today and another feed me and I assure you that neither is the least bit interested in me. [/QUOTE] It doesn’t apply to guinea pigs. ---
**Author:** ![stolichnaya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bcef8e/32.png) [@stolichnaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stolichnaya)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2007, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-read-this-girl-at-all-how-do-i-know-if-shes-into-me/417883/69 "2007-09-05T20:52:26Z")
[QUOTE=Cat Fight] Grooming is more of the comfortable girlfriend (or evolutionary) phase, not the ‘let’s screw’ phase of a relationship. [/QUOTE] I think that’s also known as the “improvement” phase. This is where you attempt to maximize the value of the investment that you have made, up to a point. The process continues until resale value is equal to or slightly higher than your resources on hand. Occasionally time will be spent improving a property investment that does not end in a sale, but this is generally tolerated as it improves the economy as a whole. ---
**Author:** ![BMax](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bmax/32/4267_2.png) [@BMax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMax)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2007, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-read-this-girl-at-all-how-do-i-know-if-shes-into-me/417883/70 "2007-09-05T21:31:12Z")
[QUOTE=stolichnaya] I think that’s also known as the “improvement” phase. This is where you attempt to maximize the value of the investment that you have made, up to a point. The process continues until resale value is equal to or slightly higher than your resources on hand. Occasionally time will be spent improving a property investment that does not end in a sale, but this is generally tolerated as it improves the economy as a whole. [/QUOTE] Women often groom me _after_ intercourse. Are they sprucing me up in preparation of putting me on the market, in hopes of trading up to something better? “flipping” me? Because I like to think that they’re nesting. ---
**Author:** ![stolichnaya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bcef8e/32.png) [@stolichnaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stolichnaya)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2007, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-read-this-girl-at-all-how-do-i-know-if-shes-into-me/417883/71 "2007-09-05T21:34:54Z")
What you’re referring to is microgrooming, I was speaking more in a macro sense. This metaphor was in Abu Ghraib as of the last post, don’t make me stretch it any more… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-read-this-girl-at-all-how-do-i-know-if-shes-into-me/417883.md?page=3)