# I Can't Stop Squirming...... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 23, 2001, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-stop-squirming/69901 "2001-06-23T20:07:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2001, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-stop-squirming/69901/1 "2001-06-23T20:07:45Z")
My niece is a first grade teacher. And apparently, her class had some sort of beetle experiment going on this past school year. Well, she is heading for a two-week vacation in Hawaii, and guess who gets to “mind” the experiment? Right. Me. So I have this open container teeming with ucky beetles sitting in my living room. And I have to slice a potato into it every once in awhile. And I sliced a whole potato last night, and they have already eaten it. And this whole thing makes me itch. She assured me…they cannot climb the slick sides of the open container. And I cannot put a lid on it or they will die…lack of oxygen. I keep checking to make sure they aren’t escaping. It isn’t as though I don’t believe her, I just…I don’t know. It makes me itch to have them in my home. If you don’t hear from me again, it will be because I have scratched my skin right off and I am in the hospital getting skin grafts. Or psychiatric help. Or both. ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2001, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-stop-squirming/69901/2 "2001-06-23T20:09:31Z")
Or the beetles have gotton out :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Mauvaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mauvaise/32/11084_2.png) [@Mauvaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mauvaise)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2001, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-stop-squirming/69901/3 "2001-06-23T20:13:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scotticher \* > **She assured me…they cannot climb the slick sides of the open container. And I cannot put a lid on it or they will die…lack of oxygen** Can’t you put some wire mesh over the top? They still get theri oxygen, you get piece of mind 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Mauvaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mauvaise/32/11084_2.png) [@Mauvaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mauvaise)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2001, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-stop-squirming/69901/4 "2001-06-23T20:15:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mauvaise \* > Can’t you put some wire mesh over the top? They still get **their** oxygen, you get piece of mind Sheesh … preview, Mauv, preview! ---
**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2001, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-stop-squirming/69901/5 "2001-06-23T20:27:51Z")
**Mauv** my love… What did I EVER do until I had you in my life? Thank you, THANK YOU! theri 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Sylkyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/da6949/32.png) [@Sylkyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sylkyn)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2001, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-stop-squirming/69901/6 "2001-06-23T20:29:15Z")
ARGGHHHHHH!!! Oh, God, I do not envy your job. I have the worst phobia about insects (anybody know the real name for it?) and I would have already pulled off all the skin on my body if those little monsters were in my house. Just reading this thread made my toes curl, and not in a good way. (severe shudderrrr!!) Yes, the mesh wire would definitely be a plus. A better option would be having your SO, or husband, or SOMEBODY toss them down the toilet. I realize you can’t do this, but if it had been my niece asking me to do this, she would have gotten a firm **no**. I would have to leave the house until they were gone. Kudos to you for being a good aunt, and baby-sitting her bugs (again I am pulling my hair out, feeling imaginary critters skittering on me) but I really don’t see how you’re standing it. A cowbug got in the house the other night, flew right up to my monitor, and I almost went into a faint. After I got finished screaming like a banshee, that is. Hope you don’t need therapy after they’ve gone. I know I would. [sub]Oooooh how I _wish_ I had _never_ opened this thread! I’ll be feeling bugs for days![/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2001, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-stop-squirming/69901/7 "2001-06-23T20:45:17Z")
Oh dear, **SilkyThreat** … I am so sorry. Well, if you live anywhere near me, maybe we can get a group rate at the psychiatrist? Your post reminds me…one time my (at the time) SO and I were playing pinochle with another couple, and a crane fly flew into my face. I leapt up, overturning the table bearing cards, drinks, guacamole, salsa, doritos, and the cat…Knocking over the other woman in the process. Neither she nor the cat was ever the same. And thank you, I try to be the best aunt I can be. I don’t mind, really, it is just that…Wait! **Oh my heavens** …do you think these things might grow wings and start FLYING while in my care? I mean, don’t termites do that sometimes? Why oh WHY didn’t I ask her what KIND of ucky beetles they are? ---
**Author:** ![MysterEcks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f475e1/32.png) [@MysterEcks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysterEcks)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2001, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-stop-squirming/69901/8 "2001-06-23T20:53:12Z")
I really don’t understand what the problem is with beatles. I mean, ok, they broke up 30 years ago, and Paul, George and Ringo are gettin’ up there in terms of musicians, and…oh, _beetles._ Sorry, **Scotti** –I just felt like buggin’ ya. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2001, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-stop-squirming/69901/9 "2001-06-23T20:58:20Z")
You have my permission to _bug_ me anytime, dearheart…Actually, you don’t bug me often enough. 🙂 Now, where is **Anti Pro** when we need her? ---
**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2001, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-stop-squirming/69901/10 "2001-06-23T20:59:51Z")
[sub]Has it REALLY been thirty years? Where does the time go?[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Brynda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e79b87/32.png) [@Brynda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brynda)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2001, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-stop-squirming/69901/11 "2001-06-23T21:11:12Z")
Another bug phobic checking in. \ In my mind’s eye I still can see with waaaaayyyyyy too much clarity the glass display of hissing cockroaches I saw about 10 years ago at a zoo. What possessed me to enter the bug house I will never know. Anyway, if I were you, **Scotti** , I might be tempted to put plastic wrap with holes up until I could rig up the screen. Can’t be too careful with the little buggers. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2001, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-stop-squirming/69901/12 "2001-06-23T21:15:24Z")
Why all this disdain for our fellow creatures?? They’re just bugs. They don’t eat much. They don’t take up much space. Their presence doesn’t necessarily mean we’re lousy housekeepers… Not that I’m a bug lover or anything, but having spent many years in Florida where it’s impossible to control all the critters, I suppose I’ve learned to coexist. Now, when they start asking for the keys to my van, THAT’S a different story!!! ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2001, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-stop-squirming/69901/13 "2001-06-23T21:16:22Z")
I, for one, am just glad you are not purplebear and they are not cockroaches, for then we would be hearing about how she went insane and her face is permanently red from screeching. You might, Scotti, put some plastic wrap over the box and make it spaced out enough. And if you take a picture of them and put it online GQ folks could possibly figure out what kind they are. ---
**Author:** ![cher3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cher3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cher3)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2001, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-stop-squirming/69901/14 "2001-06-23T21:18:41Z")
Keep those potatoes coming, or one morning you’re going to wake up to one REALLY big beetle and a pathetic little pile of legs. ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2001, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-stop-squirming/69901/15 "2001-06-23T21:31:44Z")
> [@](#): > > A cowbug got in the house the other night Ummmm…what’s a cowbug? Just curious. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2001, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-stop-squirming/69901/16 "2001-06-23T22:46:26Z")
I have no idea, darlin’…but if one comes calling, it might be enough to shove me right over the edge into total insanity. ::shrugs:: Might be fun! ---
**Author:** ![Sylkyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/da6949/32.png) [@Sylkyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sylkyn)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2001, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-stop-squirming/69901/17 "2001-06-24T00:00:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Persephone \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > A cowbug got in the house the other night > > Ummmm…what’s a cowbug? Just curious. 😃 \*\* I really don’t know the actual name of those horrid creatures, but my mother and grandmother always called them “cowbugs” and the name stuck. They are tan colored, shaped like long ovals, (sorta) and fly. They also make sounds like mini-helicopters when they fly. Stepping on them is something like stepping on concrete pebbles…(God, I’m totally grossing myself out!!!) They only seem to come out in the summer, and love getting in the house, and are extremely attracted to light. And ME. I have no idea if they bite. My mother said they’re harmless, but I have no idea since I always run screaming to the other end of the house if they show up. ---
**Author:** ![Sylkyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/da6949/32.png) [@Sylkyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sylkyn)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2001, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-stop-squirming/69901/18 "2001-06-24T00:10:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scotticher \* > \*\*Oh dear, **SilkyThreat** … > > I am so sorry. Well, if you live anywhere near me, maybe we can get a group rate at the psychiatrist?\*\* > > I doubt ANY psychiatrist could cure me of this. I get faint at the very thought of insects in the same house with me. Beetles? Yeah. They’re bugs, last time I checked. [another huge shudder} > > **Your post reminds me…one time my (at the time) SO and I were playing pinochle with another couple, and a crane fly flew into my face. I leapt up, overturning the table bearing cards, drinks, guacamole, salsa, doritos, and the cat…Knocking over the other woman in the process. Neither she nor the cat was ever the same.** > > I would have done the same thing. And probably gone fleeing down the street screaming like an idiot. My husband has nearly gotten in fights with other people that thought it was “funny” to tease me with bugs. It’s not funny. I can’t deal with it at all. > > \*\*And thank you, I try to be the best aunt I can be. I don’t mind, really, it is just that…Wait! > > **Oh my heavens** …do you think these things might grow wings and start FLYING while in my care? I mean, don’t termites do that sometimes? Why oh WHY didn’t I ask her what KIND of ucky beetles they are?\*\* > > I don’t know about ALL beetles, but the ones around my house definitely have wings. Not that it matters. Bugs is bugs. I am terrified by them all. I can handle snakes, frogs, alligators, and even spiders (hey…they EAT bugs, for Chrissake) but bugs must DIE. > > If you have a basement or garage, put them there. I admire you for being able to sleep in the house with them. I know I couldn’t. Not without LOTS of alcohol and/or Raid. > > \*\* ---
**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2001, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-stop-squirming/69901/19 "2001-06-24T00:26:33Z")
Well, I found some sheer fabric and put it over the top of the container. And I rubber banded it down with a really tight rubber band. And I calmed down enough to realize that my niece wouldn’t have given me incipiently flying insects without telling me. And I still have my car keys. So, I think things are under control here. Maybe. Oh, my HEAVENS AGAIN! I just read your newest post, **SilkyThreat** and I must confess…I just got these things last night, and I stayed at dad’s house (long story) last ninght, so the “how am I going to SLEEP” aspect of this hadn’t occurred to me until now. Anyone need a cute little redheaded houseguest for the next two weeks? ---
**Author:** ![Kunimitsu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/919ad9/32.png) [@Kunimitsu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kunimitsu)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2001, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-stop-squirming/69901/20 "2001-06-24T00:30:41Z")
I can’t stand any bug. I find them dreadful, for a big strong guy; I can’t handle bug very well. The fright me pretty bad. Sorry you have to put up with those beetles, Scotticher! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-stop-squirming/69901.md?page=2)