# I Can't Stop Squirming...... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 23, 2001, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-stop-squirming/69901 "2001-06-23T20:07:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Sylkyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/da6949/32.png) [@Sylkyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sylkyn)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2001, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-stop-squirming/69901/21 "2001-06-24T00:35:56Z")
You’re welcome at my house anytime, Scotti! Two redheads in one house? My husband would be soooooo pleased! 😉 Just leave your niece’s pets at your house! 🙂 Also, didn’t mean to frighten you with the last post; I’d assumed (I know, I know…never ASSume) you’d already had them a couple of days. I would never knowingly scare somebody about insects. Not even on a message board! ---
**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2001, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-stop-squirming/69901/22 "2001-06-24T00:48:45Z")
[hijack]someone really should look into the proliferation of redheads on this board. I think we have WAY more than the usual percentage of the usual population. Must have something to do with the superiority of redheads/members of this board thing.[/hijack] Thanks, honey. But I think I am going to go stay at dad’s. Or take the bugs there. Or get my act together and keep them here with me. Anyone have a three sided coin? Or a straightjacket? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2001, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-stop-squirming/69901/23 "2001-06-24T02:02:34Z")
Late update…a few minutes ago, a teensy tinsy little mothlike thing flew into the house and landed on my leg. I lost it. No, not the moth, my composure. I have now taken hold of myself, and SPOKEN SEVERELY TO ME…the bugs cannot get out, do not WANT to get out, and the cat is as afraid of them as I am. She is DEFINITELY not interested in knocking the container over to see what comes out. We will be fine. We will chill out. We will… We will…put them in the garage for the duration. I mean, my heavens…they ate an ENTIRE POTATO in TWELVE HOURS! How vicious is THAT? ::shudder:: ---
**Author:** ![pluto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f08c70/32.png) [@pluto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pluto)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2001, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-stop-squirming/69901/24 "2001-06-24T02:08:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SilkyThreat \* > I really don’t know the actual name of those horrid creatures, but my mother and grandmother always called them “cowbugs” and the name stuck. > > They are tan colored, shaped like long ovals, (sorta) and fly. They also make sounds like mini-helicopters when they fly. Stepping on them is something like stepping on concrete pebbles…(God, I’m totally grossing myself out!!!) Little tiny stripes? Really “sticky” legs? Bigger than a quarter? We used to call them june bugs – I think there was a thread here before about them. Do a search for useless insects. ---
**Author:** ![pluto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f08c70/32.png) [@pluto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pluto)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2001, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-stop-squirming/69901/25 "2001-06-24T02:15:01Z")
Sorry, **Scotti** , I didn’t mean to ignore your plight. You’ve got these things for two whole weeks and you’re already stressed out after one day? Sounds like a visit from Mr. “Sorry, But Your Experiment Died” is in order. Drop a couple of cottonballs soaked with formaldehyde in the jar, cover it **tightly** , and don’t open it again until just before your neice gets there (to take out the cottonballs). Act surprised when your niece discovers they are dead. Assure her they were alive and eating potatoes just yesterday. Your niece will never know. (Or if she does find out she’ll forgive you someday.) But two weeks of acute phobia will be with you forever. And tell your niece you’ll be happy to watch her projects for her during the geology section. ---
**Author:** ![Emperor\_Penguin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c2a13f/32.png) [@Emperor\_Penguin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emperor_Penguin)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2001, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-stop-squirming/69901/26 "2001-06-24T02:23:01Z")
I think pluto is right. They sound an awful like june bugs. We get them all the time in the summer. The best way to find out is to pick them up or poke them with your finger. If they start to hiss, then they are very likely a june bug. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2001, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-stop-squirming/69901/27 "2001-06-24T02:32:42Z")
Aw now, **pluto** …you know me better than that. I’d NEVER kill my nieces’s (evil) bugs without asking first. I’m just not built that way. But…the weather is nice, and I think the beetles will be happy in the garage. So? All is serene in ScottiHouse tonight. ScottiCat is sleeping peacefully on ScottiLap instead of lurking uneasily by NieceBug container, wondering if there is something she should be doing to rid our happy home of these vile creatures. NieceBugs are happily eating another whole potato out in the spacious garage. Scotti herself is happily watching the M’s game and saying hi to her friend **pluto**. Life is good. [sub]oh, my heavens…what if they get out and infest my car?[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Anti\_Pro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Anti\_Pro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anti_Pro)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2001, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-stop-squirming/69901/28 "2001-06-24T03:53:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scotticher \* > \*\*You have my permission to _bug_ me anytime, dearheart…Actually, you don’t bug me often enough. 🙂 > > Now, where is **Anti Pro** when we need her? \*\* Right 'cheer, Scotti! I am still itching over your problem, but my, aren’t you the wonderful auntie!! Makes this anti almost jealous, however, I don’t think I’ll get better, heaven knows what kind of ucky I’d get!! I’d put the mesh on those bugaroos, PLUS put a screen around it, so I didn’t have to keep staring at 'em waiting to grow wings, or at least knuckles to knock on the glass!! You should get some fancy dinner from that lil niece when she comes back too…bust that kid’s piggy bank!! ::::::::::still shivering and itching::::::::::::::::::::: ---
**Author:** ![Mauvaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mauvaise/32/11084_2.png) [@Mauvaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mauvaise)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2001, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-stop-squirming/69901/29 "2001-06-24T04:14:37Z")
**Scotti** , got those suckers contained with the mesh yet? An entire potato in 12 hours?!? How many beetles are there? And what size “container” are they in? For that matter, what kind of project do they need beetles for? **Silky** , I’ve got to go with June Bugs too. They are god-awful things. They used to ‘attack’ me in the hallway to my apartment when I was a child. The would always, it seemed, go straight for the ear. :: shudders :: ---
**Author:** ![MysterEcks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f475e1/32.png) [@MysterEcks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysterEcks)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2001, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-stop-squirming/69901/30 "2001-06-24T04:38:22Z")
**Scotticher** said: > [@](#): > > Anyone need a cute little redheaded houseguest for the next two weeks? \<\<\\>\> I DO! ME! ME! ME! I DO! > [@](#): > > But I think I am going to go stay at dad’s. Gulp… \<\<\\>\> Yeah, **SilkyThreat’s** description sounds like June Bugs–we get them around here, too. (We had a whole bunch of them…in May.) My sister hates them, but they are in fact harmless–just ugly. **Scotti** , I think you should punch holes in some Reynolds Wrap and put it over the top of the jar. Then listen very carefully to see if any of them mutter “Curses! Foiled again!” \<\<\\>\> I’ll be here all week. Hey! Stop booing! ---
**Author:** ![herownself](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8baadc/32.png) [@herownself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/herownself)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2001, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-stop-squirming/69901/31 "2001-06-24T05:31:01Z")
Cherie dear, I must have a congenitally dirty mind, but the first thing I thought of when I saw this thread was that you had paid a rewarding, though uncharacteristic, visit to [Toys in Babeland](http://www.babeland.com/). If I have misjudged you, and you, like me, patronize that worthy establishment, I do apologize. -Katrina ---
**Author:** ![herownself](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8baadc/32.png) [@herownself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/herownself)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2001, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-stop-squirming/69901/32 "2001-06-24T05:32:50Z")
P.S. Too bad about the game, huh? ---
**Author:** ![Drastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Drastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drastic)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2001, 8:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-stop-squirming/69901/33 "2001-06-24T08:05:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SilkyThreat \* > I really don’t know the actual name of those horrid creatures, but my mother and grandmother always called them “cowbugs” and the name stuck. > > They are tan colored, shaped like long ovals, (sorta) and fly. They also make sounds like mini-helicopters when they fly. Stepping on them is something like stepping on concrete pebbles…(God, I’m totally grossing myself out!!!) > > They only seem to come out in the summer, and love getting in the house, and are extremely attracted to light. And ME. > > I have no idea if they bite. My mother said they’re harmless, but I have no idea since I always run screaming to the other end of the house if they show up. \*\* Sounds vaguely like box elder bugs as well. We never got them, at all. Until one summer where for whatever reason, their population exploded, literally overnight. One fine summer day I was laying in bed, reading in the sunlight through the window. Looked outside after a couple more pages at a movement in the corner of my eye–the window was _crawling_ with this sheet of beetle-like things, and more kept landing on it. I recoiled then peered closer, having never ever seen this particular kind of bug before–it helped that they were all outside. Problem was, we were redoing the roof over the kitchen at the time, and it was on the sunny side of the house, which the critters were attracted to. We managed them by having the Shop-Vac out, and sucking them off the wall. It wasn’t long until it was totally, squirmingly, full. “How the heck do we dispose of these?” wondered the family. Thinking ensued. Me: Burn them. Parents: I doubt they’re very flammable. Me: Pour some gasoline on them first. Parents: Hmmmm. All: Agggh (upon opening up the vacuum and seeing the full population inside) And so we did. Dumped out the entire Shop-Vac full of squirming wiggling disgustingness, in a thick pile slowly spreading out with its own insectitude, poured gasoline over the mass, tossed a match from a safe distance and watched them go whoosh. Left a greasy black charred circle in the gravel of the driveway. Somewhere, an angel got his wings. ---
**Author:** ![deepbluesea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ba9def/32.png) [@deepbluesea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deepbluesea)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2001, 11:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-stop-squirming/69901/34 "2001-06-24T11:30:20Z")
Well, as if **Scotticher** ’s initial problem wasn’t bad enough (and let me just say here and now that any neice that tries to saddle me with a bucket o’ bugs before she heads out on vacation will be less one aunt - or one head - in very short order), now we have **Drastic** ’s shudder-worthy description of a whole Shop-Vac full of beetles. (Not to mention the window thing, which I refuse to think about anymore.) Yuck. I cannot say it strongly enough. Yuck, yuck, yuck. I hate insects, and you all have made me very, very itchy. We need a little gaggy-face smiley for occasions like these. (What a nice aunt you are, though, **Scotticher**. There are only two people in the world I love enough to babysit bugs for them, and I hope they never, ever ask.) ---
**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2001, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-stop-squirming/69901/35 "2001-06-24T15:07:53Z")
Holy Cats, **katrina** honey… I confess, I had no idea that store existed! And in SEATTLE? Whoda’ thunk? No wonder **Cervaise** has that dreamy sort of look on his face all the time…my congratulations to the both of you! > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by katrina \* > \*\*P.S. Too bad about the game, huh? \*\* Yes, too bad about that game, and the one on Friday, and…it’s all my fault. I bet the M’s would sweep the series…fate has once again reminded me why I should NEVER bet. Oh well. I’ll quit betting, and maybe they’ll start winning again. One can only hope. 🙂 Oh, and…we are REALLY going to miss you in Vancouver.☹ Much Love, Cheri ---
**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2001, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-stop-squirming/69901/36 "2001-06-24T15:12:04Z")
Oh, and **MysterE** , you devil you- Be careful… you never know when you might end up getting what you wish for! But not this next two weeks. I’m bug-sitting. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2001, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-stop-squirming/69901/37 "2001-06-24T15:29:25Z")
Thanks to all you wonderful people who were kind enough to share my itches [sub]and make them worse in some cases:)[/sub] You all now have a special place in my grateful little [sub]bug infested[/sub] heart! Especially **Anti Pro** , who appeared by special invitation…love ya’, honey! (((((((Everyone))))))) ---
**Author:** ![MysterEcks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f475e1/32.png) [@MysterEcks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysterEcks)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2001, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-stop-squirming/69901/38 "2001-06-24T19:59:25Z")
> [@](#): > > Be careful… you never know when you might end up getting what you wish for! Maybe _you_better be careful–you never know what I might be wishing for! 😃 {{{{{{Cheri}}}}}} (from everyone) ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2001, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-stop-squirming/69901/39 "2001-06-24T20:23:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scotticher \* > \*\*And this whole thing makes me itch. > > I keep checking to make sure they aren’t escaping. It isn’t as though I don’t believe her, I just…I don’t know. It makes me itch to have them in my home. > \*\* You are clearly suffering from formication. ---
**Author:** ![Sylkyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/da6949/32.png) [@Sylkyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sylkyn)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2001, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-stop-squirming/69901/40 "2001-06-24T21:03:55Z")
Sorry for the late reply to ya’ll that mentioned Junebugs regarding my earlier posts. I was in the tub with a steel wool brush scrubbing my skin off my bones. I thought about bugs all night! Nope, these are NOT Junebugs. I know what those flying walnuts look like. Well, at least down here, I do. Down here, Junebugs are really big, dark greenish colored, with stripes, (I think) and also make the helicopter noise. Braver kids than myself used to tie string to their legs and let them fly in circles back in the bad-ol’-days. I always watched them from inside the house. Those bastards are huge. Nope, these are small, also hardshelled, but they are a light brown color, nearly tan. They remind me of a half a shelled peanut. With wings. And legs. ARRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!! I’m getting that nasty crawly feeling again. ☹ They very well may be the insects **Drastic** is referring to. I just call 'em cowbugs, among other things. **Scotti** , glad to hear you made it without being admitted to the bughouse (pun fully intended, and a poor one it was, I might add) over the night. You got a looooong two weeks ahead of you. Cheers! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-stop-squirming/69901.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-cant-stop-squirming/69901.md?page=3)