# I caught a groundhog! Now what? (Need answer fast) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 29, 2009, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-caught-a-groundhog-now-what-need-answer-fast/512012 "2009-09-29T18:02:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![JerseyFrank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bcef8e/32.png) [@JerseyFrank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JerseyFrank)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2009, 11:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-caught-a-groundhog-now-what-need-answer-fast/512012/61 "2009-10-01T11:18:51Z")
> [@Sailboat](#): > > I understand that they can damage structures…I don’t get how they pose a threat to kids. If the kid is inclined to approach a wild animal and too young to understand your warnings, he or she is too young or too stupid to be outside unsupervised anyway. Aside from trying to approach a groundhog and put him in a doll dress for a tea party, what’s the danger? These things eat grass, and are substantially less dangerous than a lawn mower. They are a rabies vector animal. They live & eat RIGHT NEXT to the entrance to the house. If either my kid or the groundhog panicked, both of their “retreat” locations would’ve been at the same spot. That’s just begging for confrontation. I’ve got a 3 year old and a 6 month old. When we play on the swing set, it’s always supervised. But it’s impossible to stop the 3 year old when the 6 month old needs your immediate attention (and arms for holding). The kids don’t go outside when I cut the lawn, so that’s not an issue. > [@](#): > > Good job! Simple, direct, humane, manly (unless it was scary). I’m not so sure it was humane and it definitely wasn’t manly… thought I didn’t care if it were manly or not. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2009, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-caught-a-groundhog-now-what-need-answer-fast/512012/62 "2009-10-01T12:27:49Z")
Mod note: Graphic violence, like graphic sex, should be linked to using the two-click rule, warning or no. twickster, MSPSIMS moderator ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2009, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-caught-a-groundhog-now-what-need-answer-fast/512012/63 "2009-10-01T12:39:12Z")
Look, I’m not saying it was right. I will say that as an observer (when I was 8) the following method worked: There used to be a Dr down the street from my parents house who would catch squirrels in humane traps. They were infesting his attic and he hated them. He’d lower full traps into a hefty bag and cinch the bag to his cars tail pipe. Then he’d idle the engine for an hour. It was effective, but it left a melted plastic ring around the tail pipe. I guess technically you could just tie off the bag air tight, go to bed, and empty the trap in the morning and save a gallon of gas. The thing is, if the bag isn’t air tight it either won’t work or it will lead to a really slow suffocation. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2009, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-caught-a-groundhog-now-what-need-answer-fast/512012/64 "2009-10-01T14:01:01Z")
[http://www.cooks.com/rec/view/0,1826,148160-243201,00.html](http://www.cooks.com/rec/view/0,1826,148160-243201,00.html) [http://www.cooks.com/rec/view/0,1626,159169-235206,00.html](http://www.cooks.com/rec/view/0,1626,159169-235206,00.html) I have no idea what alcoholic beverage goes best with these two dishes. I suspect the important thing is to drink much of it before and during the meal. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2009, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-caught-a-groundhog-now-what-need-answer-fast/512012/65 "2009-10-01T21:09:44Z")
> [@muldoonthief](#): > > Pretty much every law like that will have an exception for police in the performance of their duty. When we had a rabid racoon walking around our back yard some years ago, a town cop was kind enough to shoot it with a 20 gauge shotgun for us, whereas I’d probably be posting from prison if I tried the same trick. He referred to an off duty cop “pop[ping]” a caged animal “for entertainment.” Does that really seem like the same thing to you? ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2009, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-caught-a-groundhog-now-what-need-answer-fast/512012/66 "2009-10-02T16:15:54Z")
> [@Contrapuntal](#): > > He referred to an off duty cop “pop[ping]” a caged animal “for entertainment.” Does that really seem like the same thing to you? It’s close enough that I’d guess if a cop filed a report: “Shot injured animal at address” that no one in his department would blink an eye. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2009, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-caught-a-groundhog-now-what-need-answer-fast/512012/67 "2009-10-02T16:49:18Z")
> [@muldoonthief](#): > > It’s close enough that I’d guess if a cop filed a report: “Shot injured animal at address” that no one in his department would blink an eye. You said “rabid.” Are you changing that now? ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2009, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-caught-a-groundhog-now-what-need-answer-fast/512012/68 "2009-10-02T17:41:51Z")
> [@Contrapuntal](#): > > You said “rabid.” Are you changing that now? I meant in the OP’s case, not mine. ---
**Author:** ![Floppy\_Joe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3bc359/32.png) [@Floppy\_Joe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Floppy_Joe)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2009, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-caught-a-groundhog-now-what-need-answer-fast/512012/69 "2009-10-02T20:40:23Z")
Have a medium Hav-A-Hart. Live in a reasonably suburban area. My tally so far is 22 ground squirrels, 12 skunks, 3 opossums, and a rat. The neighborhood cats seem to be too smart to get into it. The local raccoon also seems pretty smart. We did have rabbits, but we actually caught those by hand. The skunks seem to move territories. As soon as I’ve cleaned out one family, a new litter moves in within a couple of months. With the exception of the first skunk (animal control) all were drowned in a large 50 gallon tub (we have horses). No guilt at all. I’ve seem animals that have died in much worse, and natural, ways. ---
**Author:** ![JerseyFrank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bcef8e/32.png) [@JerseyFrank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JerseyFrank)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2010, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-caught-a-groundhog-now-what-need-answer-fast/512012/70 "2010-05-20T13:50:17Z")
Caught 2 more this season. One when I was away on business; the wife had to have the neighbor relocate the 'hog. And I caught another one last night. This one had to be active last year because she had blue paint/stain on her tail that matched the color of the shed I painted last year. Is it just me or does it seem odd that there would still be paint in her fur? I was also amazed at how much smaller/thinner this one was compared to the one I caught last year. They really must bulk up for hibernation. ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2010, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-caught-a-groundhog-now-what-need-answer-fast/512012/71 "2010-05-20T14:41:39Z")
> [@Chopper9760](#): > > Why did you live trap him if you want him dead? Because you want the body where you can access it and get rid of it. Dead critter under the house and stink up the whole house. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2010, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-caught-a-groundhog-now-what-need-answer-fast/512012/72 "2010-05-20T15:44:44Z")
You know what’s worse than groundhogs? Zombie goundhogs. I know, Band name! More memes: I, for one, welcome our new zombie groundhog overlords. I burning your groundhog. Hi Opal! ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2010, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-caught-a-groundhog-now-what-need-answer-fast/512012/73 "2010-05-20T15:54:43Z")
> [@Scylla](#): > > Groundhogs are incredibly durable, most attempts to kill them merely end up being torture. Shooting is best. However, I too moved into suburbia and no longer feel comfortable shooting guns near neighbors. > > I have tried gassing them with car exhaust to no effect. Drowning works, but it takes an incredibly long time, and you need a container large enough to immerse the entire trap completely, and you need to hold it down as they can swim the whole trap to the surface. If you go this route, be prepared to have the animal struggle for five minutes or more in the most heartbraking fashion. Do it right, and fully immerse the trap in a full garbage can, or what have you and keep it immersed. Incompetance and letting them get a lungful of air, lengthening the suffering is inexcusable. Drowning is a pretty horrible way to die, even for a groundhog, and I wouldn’t do it again. I felt pretty lousy about it. > > I know of two ways that work: > > 1. They don’t take heat well. If it’s a hot summer day, and you put the cage on blacktop, they will expire peacefully in a few hours from the heat. It **looks** peaceful, but I’m not sure, so I don’t feel to good about this, plus it invites spectators. > > 2. I have an old golf club that the head fell off. I sharpened the end on a grinder. Put the cage on grass. Stand astride the cage holding the club in both hands. Get the sharp end between the wires from above. Move slowly, until the point is directly above center mass/between the shoulders. The animal will not cooperate, but if you keep moving slowly, or distract it with a third person or by nudging your shoes against the side of the trap, you can get the shank in position. It’s best if you’ve got the groundhog with his face in a corner, rather than backed into a corner of the trap. Don’t hurry, just stay there for a 30 seconds or so and wait for the groundhog to relax a little and take its attention off the stick. Drive down suddenly as hard as you can, and all at once with your full body weight. Do it right, and it’ll be over in about ten seconds, as you impale them to the ground. The trick is not to hold back, but to give it your all. There is a squirmy, nasty second there before you’re all the way through as the groundhog tries to escape. Don’t let up. > > My neighbor (we live next to a farming field and have lots of groundhogs) dumps the groundhog from the trap into a big plastic garbage can and then beats them to death by stabbing down with a baseball bat. He’s pretty good at it, but I haven’t tried it, because I’m afraid of the animal coming after me as I’m trying to release the trap, or tipping over the can, so I just shank them through the trap in the manner described. It’s the must humane way I know of. I found this post morbidly hilarious. Submerging the thing in water and holding it down until it drowns sounds a bit… ah, well, I just don’t think I’d have the heart to do it. I think I could kill it in some other fashion, though. ---
**Author:** ![NinjaChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@NinjaChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinjaChick)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2010, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-caught-a-groundhog-now-what-need-answer-fast/512012/74 "2010-05-20T16:19:12Z")
> [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](#): > > Ah. > > You suffer the quandry of Wile E. Coyote. > > Once you caught him, what the hell to do with him? > Don’t some North American rodents carry Bubonic Plague? They do, but nowhere anywhere close to east of the Mississippi. You can only really get the plague if A) you’re out here in ye olde wilde weste and B) you try, by going out and playing with rodents without the benefit of gloves or anything. I don’t know if groundhogs can carry it, but marmots do and they’re is the same genus, so, maybe. My advice on that would not to cuddle with the groundhog and you’ll be fine. ---
**Author:** ![Fuzzy\_Dunlop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/848f3c/32.png) [@Fuzzy\_Dunlop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fuzzy_Dunlop)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2010, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-caught-a-groundhog-now-what-need-answer-fast/512012/75 "2010-05-20T16:23:07Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > I found this post morbidly hilarious. Submerging the thing in water and holding it down until it drowns sounds a bit… ah, well, I just don’t think I’d have the heart to do it. I think I could kill it in some other fashion, though. I found it sincere but the exact opposite of funny. Just saying. ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2010, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-caught-a-groundhog-now-what-need-answer-fast/512012/76 "2010-05-20T16:51:52Z")
Drive him into the City and turn him loose. As Frank said, If he can make it there, he can make it anywhere. It’s up to him… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2010, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-caught-a-groundhog-now-what-need-answer-fast/512012/77 "2010-05-20T17:08:29Z")
> [@Hirundo82](#): > > Do you have any friends with firearms and some land? A .22 to the head is probably the fastest and most humane way to do it. > > Otherwise, I’d just stick the trap in a trash can with a bunch of dry ice–CO2 euthanasia is humane and relatively quick. Really? That sounds pretty horrible. My understanding, which could be mistaken, is that CO2 buildup triggers the “oh crap, I can’t breath” sensation, at least in humans. If you wanted to try something similar, I imagine putting the raccoon in a trash can with an open container of liquid nitogen would work - nitrogen asphyxiation won’t trigger the feeling of strangulation, so it should be fairly painless. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2010, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-caught-a-groundhog-now-what-need-answer-fast/512012/78 "2010-05-20T17:13:50Z")
If this OP had been a few months earlier, I would have suggested forcing the groundhog to see his shadow. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2010, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-caught-a-groundhog-now-what-need-answer-fast/512012/79 "2010-05-20T17:15:33Z")
How expensive is a vat of liquid nitrogen, though? And its thrashing could be dangerous so you’d have to have a container that you could lock it into. Maybe a crate with a hole and funnel on the top and you can just pour it in. This is my favorite thread. ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2010, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-caught-a-groundhog-now-what-need-answer-fast/512012/80 "2010-05-21T00:23:04Z")
Dang it, you’d think I would have thought of all sorts of clever remarks to make on occasions like this. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-caught-a-groundhog-now-what-need-answer-fast/512012.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-caught-a-groundhog-now-what-need-answer-fast/512012.md?page=5)