# I challange you all **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [May 12, 2003, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-challange-you-all/174784 "2003-05-12T19:58:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Scorpio\_Africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ebca7d/32.png) [@Scorpio\_Africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scorpio_Africanus)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2003, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-challange-you-all/174784/21 "2003-05-12T21:26:37Z")
He is capitalizing on your fantasies, and superstition. This whole phenomenon is just a commercial idea. Don’t be foolish. Don’t let yourselves be misslead. ---
**Author:** ![ResIpsaLoquitor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b3f665/32.png) [@ResIpsaLoquitor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ResIpsaLoquitor)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2003, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-challange-you-all/174784/22 "2003-05-12T21:28:28Z")
I submit to you that **Scorpio “Africanus”** does not exist. Rather, he is a compilation of randomly firing electrons that causes Great Debates to accidentally post messages that mock Cecil. After all, if matter can spontaneously come into being, why can’t a Great Debates thread? I have yet to conclusively see evidence that **Scorpio** exists. Ergo, he does not. Q.E.D. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2003, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-challange-you-all/174784/23 "2003-05-12T21:30:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scorpio “Africanus” \* > \*\*He is capitalizing on your fantasies, and superstition. This whole phenomenon is just a commercial idea. Don’t be foolish. Don’t let yourselves be misslead. \*\* So, tell us, oh wise one, what should we do? ---
**Author:** ![Scorpio\_Africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ebca7d/32.png) [@Scorpio\_Africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scorpio_Africanus)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2003, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-challange-you-all/174784/24 "2003-05-12T21:32:33Z")
Maybe cecil is a phantom, but all i know is that someone is making a whole lot of money on you. This whole cecil-phenomenon is an induced mass-hypnosis scenario by very cleaver commercialists. Why can’t you see that? ---
**Author:** ![Phlosphr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Phlosphr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phlosphr)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2003, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-challange-you-all/174784/25 "2003-05-12T21:32:47Z")
> [@](#): > > He is capitalizing on your fantasies, and superstition. This whole phenomenon is just a commercial idea. Don’t be foolish. Don’t let yourselves be misslead. I am not paying Cecil. Are you? I am not paying to post here. Are you? If you are proselytizing you can please take stage left and get out. If you are legitimately wondering. Please read more of what is on the boards. ---
**Author:** ![Greyson3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/258eb7/32.png) [@Greyson3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greyson3)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2003, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-challange-you-all/174784/26 "2003-05-12T21:34:12Z")
You’re Marylin Vos Savant, aren’t you? ---
**Author:** ![Futile\_Gesture](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f05b48/32.png) [@Futile\_Gesture](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Futile_Gesture)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2003, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-challange-you-all/174784/27 "2003-05-12T21:34:29Z")
Now we know it’s the end-time. It’s the Anti-Cecil! Turn your backs, true believers, and banish him back to the depths of MPSMIS where he belongs. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2003, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-challange-you-all/174784/28 "2003-05-12T21:36:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scorpio “Africanus” \* > \*\*Maybe cecil is a phantom, but all i know is that someone is making a whole lot of money on you. This whole cecil-phenomenon is an induced mass-hypnosis scenario by very cleaver commercialists. Why can’t you see that? \*\* 1. How is this mass-hypnosis? 2. How are people making a lot of money off us (other than the money made by buying Straight Dope books and merchandise)? 3. You do realize that this “worship” of Cecil, calling him the world’s smartest human being, and comparing him to God, is a running joke, right? 4. What would you suggest we do so that we not be taken advantage of? ---
**Author:** ![ElJeffe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/958977/32.png) [@ElJeffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElJeffe)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2003, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-challange-you-all/174784/29 "2003-05-12T21:39:34Z")
> [@](#): > > This whole cecil-phenomenon is an induced mass-hypnosis scenario by very cleaver commercialists. Cleaver commercialists? You mean like Ginsu salesmen? I think this is the most surreal thread I’ve ever read in Great Debates. Seriously. Jeff ---
**Author:** ![lionel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f9ae1b/32.png) [@lionel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lionel)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2003, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-challange-you-all/174784/30 "2003-05-12T21:40:52Z")
> [@](#): > > Maybe cecil is a phantom, but all i know is that someone is making a whole lot of money on you. This whole cecil-phenomenon is an induced mass-hypnosis scenario by very cleaver commercialists. Why can’t you see that? Actually, I believe that the Chicago Reader actually loses money on this board, or if they don’t it’s because all (or most) of the moderators are volunteers (possibly the admins too, I’m not sure). ---
**Author:** ![Dissonance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/85f322/32.png) [@Dissonance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dissonance)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2003, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-challange-you-all/174784/31 "2003-05-12T22:15:32Z")
[Tinfoil hat] **Scorpio “Africanus”** is right; Cecil does not in fact exist as a physical entity. He is in fact, a god of sorts who needs his existence recognized by the masses to continue to survive. Not enough recognition has been forthcoming of late, and Cecil has begun to fade into the oblivion. Now here is the indictment… **Scorpio “Africanus”** is in fact the id of the over-mind Cecil, lashing out to cause the masses to recognize his existence and thus replenish his power. [/Tinfoil hat/] ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2003, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-challange-you-all/174784/32 "2003-05-12T22:29:10Z")
**Scorpio** Read what \*\*Homebrew said. Now read it again. And again. Do you get it now? ---
**Author:** ![sivispacem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b19c9b/32.png) [@sivispacem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sivispacem)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2003, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-challange-you-all/174784/33 "2003-05-12T22:37:27Z")
Can someone help me find a place to purchase the Cecil Adams Hymnal? That’s still in print right? I’m a little behind in my worship… ---
**Author:** ![whitetho](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whitetho/32/1059_2.png) [@whitetho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whitetho)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2003, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-challange-you-all/174784/34 "2003-05-12T22:49:53Z")
I think much of the confusion about Cecil’s unique status is because many posters have forgotten – or might never have even known – the official anthem. “All Hail Uncle Cecil” – well, the first five stanzas, anyway – should be committed to memory: All Hail Uncle Cecil! Leader of us all! Ignorance’s worst enemy! Leader of us all! All Hail Uncle Cecil! Leader of us all! Leads the Teeming Millions! Leader of us all! All Hail Uncle Cecil! Leader of us all! Doesn’t like pretenders! Leader of us all! All Hail Uncle Cecil! Leader of us all! Read his weekly column! Leader of us all! All Hail Uncle Cecil! Leader of us all! Buy all of his books! Leader of us all! (And don’t forget to sing all of the lines with exclamation points _extra loud_). ---
**Author:** ![PatriotX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c4cdca/32.png) [@PatriotX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatriotX)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2003, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-challange-you-all/174784/35 "2003-05-12T23:01:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Phlosphr \* > \*\*I am not paying Cecil. Are you? I am not paying to post here. Are you? > \*\* I’ve been supporting him. It was me. At first he came around and just sort of “hung out” around dinner time. Then I noticed that he was coming around more often, usually at meal times. So one day, I just up and asks, “Say, Cece, Oh Perfect Master an All That, do you’d need some bread cause I can float you some if you’re needin’ it. I mean, I see you rount here all the time when my baby’s got the cooking goin on. I see you here in the mornings for breakfast almost _everyday_.” Cece, he say: [answer available for just $19.95 via electronic funds transfer. Straight from the mouth of the Master] So anyway, I opened him an account with half a mil. You know, enough for now til he get on his feet. He’s a smart kid I know he’ll come out on top. It’s not like he isn’t gonna pay me back. With interest, no less. ---
**Author:** ![PatriotX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c4cdca/32.png) [@PatriotX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatriotX)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2003, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-challange-you-all/174784/36 "2003-05-12T23:10:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scorpio “Africanus” \* > \*\*Mr simonX, … …show me this man, right here right now. … Make him ascend like a halo over the earth, speaking with a loud divine voice “Fear not, for I am the Alpha and the Omega itself. I know the divine truth about life, I am god, ruler of matter” Then I will not only open my eyes but I will go down on my four, open my mouth, drool and bark: “woof master, woof” just like you people. \*\* How am I to command the Prefect Mastertm? Do think that I can dam the turnig of the tide or still the moon in it’s course? Think you that I am some hidden god dwelling lamely here amongst you mortals? That sacrifice is Cecil’s alone. Only he is capable of making that sacrifice for mankind! To ask such of me is to blaspheme! But, since you seem to be new here Cecil will be happy to forgive you for 199.95 payable via EMT ---
**Author:** ![PatriotX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c4cdca/32.png) [@PatriotX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatriotX)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2003, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-challange-you-all/174784/37 "2003-05-12T23:22:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Captain Amazing \* > \*\* > > 1. How is this mass-hypnosis? > \*\* Yopu don’t remeber, at that DopeCon, when the cute little Ginsu guys told us to forget everything that happened, and we all… never mind. fnord > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Captain Amazing \* > \*\* > 3. You do realize that this “worship” of Cecil, calling him the world’s smartest human being, and comparing him to God, is a running joke, right? > \*\* _ **If** _ this were true, then surely **SA** would be aware of it already, would he not? Since He appears not to be there is but **one** obvious, _inescapable_ conclusion. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Homebrew \* > \*\*Methinks **Scorpio** takes the whole “Perfect Master” thing a little too seriously. It’s all tounge-in-cheek, kiddo. \*\* Thou Shalt Not Reveal the Sacred Sign of the Tongue in Cheek to Infidel! ---
**Author:** ![elelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@elelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elelle)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-challange-you-all/174784/38 "2003-05-13T02:05:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scorpio “Africanus” \* > \*\* > > Think about it, why do you idolize this man? You believe in this all mighty omnipotent god who seems to know everything about nothing. That’s just it, it’s nothing. His work is not of importance. This is a big farce in my eyes. Here you all are trying to be perfect, chasing away the flaws which this “stone” seems to not have. Wake up and see the true person in that mirror, for it is me and you together. \*\* Well, I’ve been here awhile, and I don’t idolize Cecil. I think he’d probably find that rather silly, and against skeptic principles, especially if he doesn’t exist. What appears to exist is a fine attempt at answering questions in the most accurate manner, with superb sources, and, the lagniappe of a wonderful sense of humor. Probably should underscore that last phrase. For me, it ain’t blind worship; it’s an appreciation of that rare combination of skills. All eyeballs rolling across this page benefit from it. I don’t see anyone trying to be perfect, just trying to tease out the tangles of many questions. Where’s the farce? I’m awake, and see you, here at least, and me, now at least, and also the reason this board exists, Cecil Adams. A mighty funhouse of mirrors. (It helps if you make silly faces, stick your lounging tounge out, and enjoy the odd distortions before the bleak denoument of exit.) ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-challange-you-all/174784/39 "2003-05-13T02:42:35Z")
Scorpio, consider this. Cecil can banish you from this board but you cannot banish him. He’d still be here and you’d be gone. Who then is realer? So everyone say it with me: I do believe in Cecil. I do believe in Cecil. I do believe in Cecil. I do believe in Cecil. I do believe in Cecil. I do believe in Cecil. ---
**Author:** ![PatriotX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c4cdca/32.png) [@PatriotX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatriotX)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-challange-you-all/174784/40 "2003-05-13T02:53:05Z")
So, uh… **Scorpio “Africanus”** , how’s your debate going? I couldn’t help but notice that you seem to have run out of steam about five hours ago. Let me know if you’d like some help. There’s this angel program thing that _could_ be invoked for some help here if you’d like it. Not that I’m saying that you’re not holding your own. No, no, I’m not saying that by any means. It’s just that…well… you know… IF you want it…you know. Anyway, welcome to the SDMB Great Debates 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-challange-you-all/174784.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-challange-you-all/174784.md?page=3)